A Biography of a Human

Chapter Thirty:

“Refuge in Solitude"

“Are not humans also creations of the Gods and the Universe? Then why do we look upon them as less than us?" - Tenant of the Cult of the Divine Spark

After we had escaped from the palace by boat, we used the stolen ship to row Eastwards, right down the middle of the sea-like lake. I had made a point to snatch some maps from the hyena keep, giving us a rough idea of where to go.

Though Gernan was not a naval wolf, he still had some knowhow on the matter of navigation, which was effortlessly applied to sea travel: the course of the wind, sun and stars being of use in this. The last thing we needed was to not know where we were heading and going in circles, or worse, end up back at the keep where I have no doubt about that a very angry hyena Queen would be waiting.

I also knew inside me that she must have had ships out looking for us, that's why Gernan came up with the idea of heading straight out into the middle of the lake rather than hugging the coasts as that's where they'd assume we would go.

The plan was to head as far away, to the Eastern edge of the lake, and from there take one of the rivers going Eastwards as far as we could, and then abandon ship and trek by land until we reached this so-called free city of Torum. Then and only then would we be safe from being at the mercy of others.

This all was very risky, we had no idea what might lay in-between here and there, but we felt confident that if something happened at least we could bribe our way out with the stockpile of valuables or even the ship if it came down to it.

We had divided up all of this between us, that way each one of us would be able to use it to get established in Torum and for that reason the previous large pile of gold trinkets I had was now much, much smaller, but since me and Gernan were going to stick together we pooled both of our shares into one, so in the end we had the most. Only thing was: how long we could live on that?

“We will get to that when it happens," I would think to myself when the notion of our limited currency came to mind.

How I hated being on ships! Not only did it bring back painful memories of my capture form Safehaven, even now I can still hear and feel the rocking of that ship in the summer storms, but I get seasick! I am normally fine on calm bodies of water like small lakes and rivers but when it's a large open expanse like this, I get terribly ill.

The smells of wet, unwashed canine and hyena bodies, combined with the swaying of the vessel and a lack of sleep combined in me a most dreadful storm of nausea and irritability.

Thankfully, this Koguana Lake was fresh water, so the scent of salty water was not an additional burden to me. That would have made it worse and also, no crumbs of salt accumulating in the furs of the anthros on board.

Still, I ended up vomiting for most of short trip, that or laying in a cot in the cabin, willing the swaying of the ship to go away. Often that resulted in my getting up and rushing to a window when I failed to calm my mind down and ignore the motions.

I wish I had inherited my Grandfather's sea stomach! I could have used it then, but it would not be long before we finally reached the other end of the lake and there, as the maps showed, was a river opening which we steered straight into, to the relief of everyone and my sea sickness.

We had further escaped any attempts to catch us now, though it was still a concern but the more we traveled father and farther away, that threat grew smaller and smaller.

Since I planned for a long trip, we had food stored below for all of us. The hyenas could live on dry bones alone so their needs were very easy to fulfill. I made do with some bread and Gernan had some dried meats which I also partook in eating. For this reason, we had no need to stop anywhere on the lake for the coming days.

Settlements of hyenas could be seen from the river. They were small, basically villages and therefore no danger and definitely not a seat of a Candace Queen. It was safe, but not enough to trust going into one, the female dominated culture was still here and a ship of runaway males and an odd human and wolf duo would be seen as very, very strange.

So we kept on ahead, paying no heed to any stray hyenas who happened to be on the riverbanks when we passed by, not that they were threatening mind you, at most they would whoop a greeting or just ignore us, keeping to their duties that brought them to the river edge in the first place.

“Gernan?" I broke in as I leaned over the railing on the rear-castle, looking across the lush greenery that surrounded us on all sides.

“Hmmn?" the elder wolf mumbled in response at the till of the rudder, keeping it steadfastly parallel as I went forth with my words, now having gotten his attention.

“Have you ever had any past knowledge of this Southern world before?" I was curious about how much he knew before everything went to hell for us all.

“How do you mean?" he awkwardly inquired at my sudden, odd question. “You mean through books? You know full-well that Xander!" he finished in a causal but albeit slightly confused tone as I turned around to face him and rephrase my question.

“No, I mean in the court! You know how you would talk about how on certain times of the year, envoys bearing tributes would come to Lupercal. Had a hyena ever been along them?" the wolf looked back before returning to me with a mild, amused look on his worn-down face.

“If there had it would have made an impact in the culture of the capital, considering what we have both seen of them!" I followed with a sighing snicker, realizing how dim my question was, but not wanting to return to the silence of before, continued on with the subject.

“So, what were those tributes?" I had never asked about them when I was just a tot back in our manor. To me, it was just another affair of the court, like all the other myriad ones that would speckle throughout the year and which I never paid much thought to. Audiences, meetings, sacrifices, ceremonies, readings, announcements, rites, congratulations, inspections and examinations, all affairs of the state and all with the trappings of ceremony and rank. They all blurred into one as they went by as a small human child.

“Oh, they were merely local foreign leaders of whom agreed to become tributaries of the Alphate, and to answer you question, no," Gernan paused, I saw him reminisce about the past, I could see it in his wolfish orbs. “The leaders in the Levant was as far as we got with tributaries in the South-"

“Ah, the missions to pacify the South if I recall correctly!" I interjected, remembering having once read long ago, how after the new wolf order was established, Alpha Lycan launched his two great campaigns to secure wolf presence as far and wide as it could be pushed.

“You knew that, yet did not know about how the tributary system works?"

“It was confusing, I could never figure out what some of it all meant! I was a child, Gernan!" I was speaking of my lack of understanding regarding difference of wolven suzerainty and the centralized official provinces of the Great Kutlar.

“Ha! But you have grown so much since you were a little human pup dropped on my lap by-" sadness washed over his muzzle as he thought of his also-exiled daughters in the Far East.

Seeing this pain I had caused without knowing, I changed the subject to something that was mindless and of no importance and I can't remember what it was other than simple things like the weather of the this new world or me asking if his fur was faring well in these rapid changes of biomes we both seemed to find ourself in.

Truthfully, I did think of the others a lot. I have mentioned before how I wondered about my little wolf, Prince Ulric, hoping that he is safe and not subject to any ill from Jao. The others though, Neith, Rena, Harold, Dillian, Elyk and his mother Iahel. I wondered often what happened to them and if they were safe.

I knew the fates of Neith and Rena, exiled with their mate and pups to the Urals, I hoped they were holding in and staying safe in the harsh, remote steppes, I knew that Gernan must be worried that they might be dead and he had no way of knowing of that or if they were well.

The lands of beyond the Urals were harsh. Hardly any cities or even large towns for that matter. Only the Alphate garrisons were pretty much there for large settled areas. Most of it was populated by tribes or villages of nomadic wolves and lynxes who our under the tributary system.

As for Harold, Iahel and Elyk, I knew that if the young fox heeded my advice, all three of them, a bear and two foxes, would be together and helping each other wherever they ended up running to. Most likely in the rural areas around Lupercal if I were them.

The counties in the capital province would be a good place for them to survive. The motherly vixen knew how to cook and do thread-work and Harold was good with plants. I was sure they would not fall into poverty or hunger with these skills, but also aware that at the same time their life would be meager.

I longed for it to just be over, it was all wearing down on me and Gernan! An old wolf like him should not be traveling like this. So we both hoped in our hearts that this would be the end of the constant change occurring near non-stop since we became victims of Jao's plotting against us. In reality, it was only against my Gernan but I saw myself as in the same boat as him and so also looked upon Jao as my foe!

But Jao was out of our world now, there was no need to think about him. The smug man must have already forgotten us and was basking in his victory against his long-time rival, not a care in his mind. I could not know for sure of this at the time, since the affairs of the Alphate were unknown. How was I to know that Jao was currently festering in rage, confined to an unwilling retirement and amputated of most of his political power?

To our minds, human and wolf, that world was dead to us and this was our new one. A harsh and uncertain one, but this was our world.

“Gernan, you might pass as a jackal now! You sure look it without your bulky undercoat." the wolf broke his gaze and gave me a sharp, offended look that was all in good nature deep down. I had reached a point where I can tell when a wolf was really mad or not.

“You little upstart human! You dare to label me a jackal!" playfully grinning while sneering, Gernan took up a prideful nature. He straightened his back and held his muzzle high while bringing a fisted paw to his pectoral. “I am a noble wolf, not to be insulted like that, we are the chosen race by Canis to reign over the world!"

“Ha! Big but void words, wolf!" we both fell into fits of laughter. Just like the old times, it was nice. It made me happy again for the first time in a long time.

Thus we sailed into a future which we hoped would be kind to us. I desired this and I knew that Gernan also wanted this.

When we piloted our ship as far as the river course would take us East, we disembarked and left the vessel to whoever might come across it. We stayed in a group, since we all had the same destination in mind and in that we got safety and protection. As weak as male hyenas might be compared to their female counterparts, in large numbers males can put up fight if anyone or anything tried to take us on.

There was over twenty of us in total, Gernan and I included, so the numbers were very much in our favor and I felt secure in our trekking across. First we voyaged through greenery filled with the waters of the river, then dry savanna plains fed by annual rains and the drier deserts here and there.

“-was said the whole North was a big desert!" I overheard one hyena banter with another, “It was Sahara! Storyteller told me this once."

“I've not heard that one? What happened?" the other responded, eager to know more.

“Gods made the furless ones fall and then moved the rains up. Made the land not desert anymore!" answered back to the other who then praised the Gods for their sheer power to do such things. I remember this fragment of the vague and distant past very well, it stood out among their chattering.

A past which had few answers to questions that I often put forth as a child, full of wanting to know more and in which was often was consigned to the unknown.

I was so interested in what I was overhearing I fell back into their group and injected myself, telling some of what I knew from my Grandfather.

“-He used to say that this area was rich in Dragon's Blood!" I recall telling them.

“Dragons Blood? What is that?" they both quizzed in response, to which I returned in pride at knowing and being able to tell something new to someone, “It was a black tar-like fluid hidden deep underground, it was said to be magical."

“Magical!? How!?" I found myself becoming a tad full of myself being the giver of answers and being the center of attention for these two hyena men who were becoming entranced by what I was telling them. I was liking this quite a bit!

“Well, for one, it could make things of metal fly like a bird or move on their own with wheels and my forebears used these to travel far and wide in!" the whole time I said this I looked back to see their expressions of awe and amazement at the glorious feats we humans were once able to do. I won't lie, I always feel proud of those achievements even if it was true that we humans did transgress upon the Gods domain…

I saw one of hyena's muzzle open and I had a feeling he might say something along the lines about how that was something that must have offended the Gods and so I moved to prevent him by speaking first.

“Also! Two great heroes fought over the substance…lets see…I think if I recall, Green Sword was one and another was White-Blue Star…" I trailed off trying to think of the other names, I knew there were others.

“Oh! Tri-Color Bear and Striped Eagle too!" I exclaimed, finally remembering the others, these last two names caused the hyenas to both get out questions!

“Whats an Eagle?" One said

“Bear? Was Tri-Color bear a chimera?" the other one followed, seeming to know that a bear was a fellow chimera even though he might not know what one might look like.

“Oh no! He was a human! The chimera were not placed on the Earth yet, that would be further in the future when these heroes fought over the Dragon's Blood!" I responded to the last, first wanting to clear up that confusion.

“As for eagles, they're a bird of prey, we had them back in the Alphate," after that, the banter about stories fizzled out and I walked back up to the side of Gernan, who I had left ahead while I made talk with those two.

The journey went on and it went by without much incidents of any note besides one.

I think it was a few days later and we were in a belt of desert. We passed by an unmistakable mound of sand which was obstructed from being leveled out by the winds. It was a human ruin, no doubt, and as we passed closer by it, what once from a distance, looked like just shards of rock emerging from the sands revealed itself to be the top of a structure buried by the sand-carrying winds that sweep over this land in the dry summer seasons when the rains of the monsoons are unable to tamper them back to the Earth.

The hyenas became nervous and even Gernan had an air of unease about him which I found surprising! I could understand the why the lanky and abused male hyenas might feel such a way, but the ever-strong wolf Gernan!? It was strange! He tried to hide this unease but having been around him and other wolves for so long, I could see it.

Tail straight and still, though not tucked between the legs. Ears not flat but drooped ever so slightly and lastly his lips pulled horizontally and lightly down into a taint of a frown. When I walked up behind him and called out his name, his upper body clenched in surprise, that only confirmed my thoughts.

“I thought only the hyenas were superstition of such things?" his eyelids half-fell in unison with his ears and he just sighed, knowing that I caught him and maybe a bit disappointed that I was keen enough even as a human to read such hints. “You did not act uneasy about those human-made tubes that are now your aqueducts?"

“Those are but empty, metal husks with no danger, but even those would have been looked on with fear over a millennia ago as cursed relics!"

“Dangerous? How so!?" I was taken aback, I had never once heard about human ruins being unsafe before! Though Lupercal was far away from any that were most likely present in the region so it is understandably a thing I would have been unaware about.

“Some places are harmless. Just empty and lifeless ruins but you can never know until its too late!"

“Why?"

“The writings say so! Thearch Alpha Ysengrimus said that the Gods cursed them! Centers of human sorcery is to be avoided lest one befalls ill!"

“Surely that is just a myth! How can crumbling ruins of rock, metal and glass be of danger to a person!" I was taken aback by Gernan's superstition, it was something that was not him and I had thought he was rational! Look at me, writing that when even now have experienced a stone head talking to me, who was I to think such things? Still, Gernan was never the kind to speak like he was now and that was enough for me to comment about.

“Maybe, but some are dangerous! There is one far to the North of the Kaimeian Peninsula, it's always been known and it cannot be doubted even by those who hold reason!"

“You never told me this."

“I never saw the need, it's not something that is important when you live far away from the Zone!"

“What?! I don't understand?"

“It's a place, an area! Any living thing that walks that goes and stays within it for long periods suffers horrifying effects, depending on how long they are within its domain which surround its heart!" I will not lie here to make myself look good, even I was starting to grow scared hearing about this 'Zone' as it was called. I was even hesitant about daring to ask what these ill effects were but I did and was told of its power.

“For one, you get sick, you become weary, that alone is not much but as you stay within, or dare get closer to its heart, it gets worse! You get really ill and you start vomiting and just before death your fur and claws fall off!" he paused in a way that made the tension even worse.

“That's why its cursed!" he finally finished.

“What's at its center?"

“Sparse ruins overgrown by forests, but that's not it…" he trailed in silence, creating a heightened suspense before starting again, by which time I was so engrossed by his words that everything else around me was no longer of noteworthy interest, “there is this thing! A large object, an untarnished dome of metal and it's thought that it's the origin of the ill-effects and that direct contact with it is instant death..."

“Boo!"

My heart exploded into furious poundings as I yelped in abject terror! In my fear-rattled mind I was just struck down by the unnatural curse of the Zone, as if I was trespassing in its haunted grounds going against the heeding words of the Gods and thus duly punished.

It was a brief moment and when sense returned I saw Gernan walking ahead laughing and his tail wagging, I was rather mad to say the least!

“GERNAN! You made all that up!"

“No I did not, what I said was all true but when I picked up on your rising fear I could not hold myself back!"

“You JACKAL!" the two of us teased on and Gernan told me that what he all said was true but admitted that maybe it was a bit exaggerated for effect when he made it his aim to give me a fright like he did.

The rest of the trek was uneventful after the ruins were past us, it was all the same as before until we came across a small convoy of chimera, the first others we had seen in a long time and were thankful for it since it meant that we were out of the hyena homelands.

It was my first time seeing a mustelidae! Black-furred and with white fur on the tops of their heads. Such beings were not as abundant in the world and that was reflected in the fact that their Goddess, Mustelidae, was not an official God in the Trinity, though it could be argued she was a de-facto member as the consort who Ursin conjured up for himself when all the others got divine consorts.

I shall leave such matters to the Shamans to debate and not let them creep into this work, Gods knows how the Gods will change when this found and is read.

“There are some in Europe, though they are quite far away, living on some an island in the Northwest seas," Gernan whispered, telling me about the badgers.

My first thought about encountering such new creatures was their teeth! Their maws were full of bulky teeth. They were traders and we tried to engage in conversation with them but there was a language difference and it took somet ime to get through it. In the end we found they were heading to Torum and they agreed to let us follow them.

The difference of language also made me realize that once we arrived, me and Gernan would have a period of adjusting that we would have to go through and was fearing that, but then it came to me how the lions were not too far away and surely there would be some speakers of that there and I knew that more or less.

We finally arrived four days later. A city was before us and lay next to the familiar sight of the river Naiel. The stories were true, it was a city of many races and living without much conflict. This became clearer and clearer once we followed the badger traders past the modest-arched gateway into the settlement proper of humble buildings and markets, all filled with the exotics of this Southern world.

Lanky jackals, lone lions, mangy wild dogs and the same white-headed badgers like the traders we followed. Canines and felines of all types, some spotted others with tufts on their ears and all going about their own lives.

Our group dispersed, we reached our goal. I bid Jatu farewell and he thanked me for making it possible for him and the others to escape the oppression of being a male in the female-dominated hyena world.

Thus me and Gernan were on our own again, like before when we set out from the cedar before we joined the lions and afterwards when we left them, only to be kidnapped by the hyenas. This time we hoped we would no longer be at the whims of others, since we were now here in this free place away from those who would have power over us and seek to use us for their own needs.

We came to an inn run by a middle aged lion who had run away from being in competition with his brothers for pride leadership and had his mane cut short, a way of scorning his fellow lions who he sought to distance himself from? Maybe, but he was quite the pacifist type and that's the feeling I received from him when he would talk about it. He was quite talkative, willing to tell any new face or muzzle his past free of charge.

We paid him for a humble single room on the upper floor where there were only two rooms. It was not a big inn, just a house which had spare rooms which he felt would be better used for others and it was a way to get more money. It also meant that we had to eat what he cooked for us and to be honest…he was not a born cook but it was better than those bones the hyenas liked to eat so it was nothing to complain about.

All the mattered to us was that we were free! Not only free but able to do well, not like before we joined the lions and poor Gernan ended up having to do without meat and suffered on that account and through it nearly killed me in his blind hunger.

No, we were secure and we felt safe.

I took up needlework and left every warm morning and peddled it in the market places for a meager sum since I was not the best at it. I was aware that I needed do something to keep us stable since our stolen treasures from Ayeshatu would not last forever!

Hoping I would get better at it over time and thus get more for my output, I stayed with it as what I brought home was barely fighting the tide of our expenses. I had to get better and hopefully turn around our dwindling currency.

Gernan was not happy with me doing this, he thought he should be the one to do something but when I asked him point blank what he can do, the wolf looked down and off to the side, unable to answer. Plus, I reminded him that his talents and his former position got us into issues before and that it was best to pretend not be a talented military leader and former Prime Beta.

“Do you want to be forced to be a general for hire again?" I asked him.

I knew it was trouble and we were lucky Ayeshatu never found out this or else she might have ended up making him hers to command, though I doubt that, after all he was a male wolf and that might not have worked for her.

The wolf, at first would come with me and watch over me as I sold my cheap dishrags to those that would buy them at first, but as he saw nothing ever happened he began to let me leave on my own. It was not as if I was the only human here.

I saw quite a few of them and a lot freed. I, of course, stood out from them all since they were all darker-hued. Still, I was just a nameless human face, making a meager living sitting on the dirt ground with my plain-looking goods laid out next to me as I cried out, “Cheap rags and towels!"

This went on for weeks and then months and it all blurred into the same thing day-by-day with the only change being the worry growing as the money grew smaller.

Then, something happened.

While I was tending to my beggar's goods like most days and having not slept well the previous night, I was nodding off. My goods were so paltry that even the fear of theft of my items was next to nothing since they were not of any real worth to begin with.

“Hmmm," I was awoken and my first sight was a pair of sandaled paws before me. Raising my eye to greet their owner, I saw a grayish-yellow, stoic canine wearing a dusty, white frock that went to his ankles. My first thought was a priest, but I could not be sure of that.

“Blessed be, young human," speaking in a mellow tone, he greeted me while making a strange hand gesture with his right paw. This confirmed my previous impression of him being some kind of priestly figure. Also unknown to me at the time was his race which I would later come to know as being a golden wolf.

“I see you are selling cloth, mind if I take a look?" he asked very politely and I, excited at the possibility of making a sale jumped up, showing clear and wide my desperation for needing money/

He bought ten of my simple works and gave me praise for my work even though he was just trying to make me feel better and not only that, he overpaid for them all.

“May the Divine Spark bless you!" with that, he left and I spent the rest of the day trying to sell more without much success before I closed up and left again, distraught and hopeless. I was starting to worry I might have to take up an offer to work in a brothel. A madame once came up to me and said I would make more money with my body and how a human is always welcome to join. I did not want this, I had be used by others in that way before and did not want it again.

Now this golden wolf would had been a mere nothing in the whole of it all. It was just someone I would never see again, I thought to myself as I returned to the inn with the sole profit I gained from him.

That was until I saw him, the same golden wolf dressed in his white habit in the inn! He had taken the other room and this is why I mentioned him, for this golden wolf was not some nameless figure mentioned in passing.

His name was Manetho and he was a missionary of a spiritual cult that had been growing in the area for the past centuries, I did not know that though at the time, not until later when he made his offer to us.

Our stash from the escape was down to its last pieces and poverty was just weeks away, I knew it and it terrified me.

Days passed and our mysterious neighbor was able to pick up on everything, he had a very keen inquiring eye and nothing seemed to be missed by him. He saw Gernan and when I said he was a wild dog he looked unconvinced of that.

It seemed all so strange as it went by and then one day he outright told us that he knew that we are from the faraway North and then offered to take us in. He spoke of a monastery that he came from, up on an island within the course of the Naiel.

Normally I would have turned down such an offer, thinking it was another trap and it would doom us like all the others before us, but as I reminded myself that only one day of gold remained and that soon we would be unable to stay here any longer; it was a way out and this was no Ayeshatu or Aha'hor. This canine felt honest and I read no demand in return for his charity.

Either we take this or it would mean living on the streets or me working as a prostitute to stay off the streets. We were growing desperate and perhaps that was making us commit in full faith to something that was uncertain, for we had no idea if this was a trick or not.

But we took it and hoped for the best, maybe this time we would have luck.

It was mad, but we had nothing and the future looked bleak. We left with him and we found ourselves on this island within the next week, it was called:

Philae.

The site of a ruined stone husk from time in-memoriam and was now a palace of solitude and refuge.

It was to be our home for the foreseeable future.

If I had any fears about flinging oneself to the winds again, uncertain of where it would take us, they were eroded upon our arrival at the monastery. Far too often, either good or ill hung above our heads waiting for the moment to bring blessing or suffering upon us! Suffering that condition that affects all without discrimination has been a theme of my life only broken with small gaps of happiness.

There in this monastery, two things clashed and became one, the pylons of ancient stone filled with the soft images of men and beast, and the current inhabitants human and chimera, dressed in white shawls over the shoulders. Chanting out mantras of tranquility, humans with shaved heads, male lions with manes also shaved, canines and felines partaking in prayer and meditations to mystical Avatars from across the vast bridges of time.

Some of these Avatars were humans, embodiments of tenants of this way of life, the alien sounding names of Jung and Freud being two. Their painted tapestry icons hung within rooms of the fossil-like temple's structure as a mist of sweet smelling plants burned on a charcoal disk as congregation of humans and chimera sat on rounds pillows and deep within a trance as an old chimera recited mantras:

“He who looks outside, dreams; he inside, awakens."

Seeing chimera almost praying to a human was what took me most by surprise! “Was this a God?" I ignorantly mused to myself when seeing such a sight, first not knowing that these Avatars were more akin to Saints like those spoken of in my human upbringing. Or like Sage Alpha Ysengrim for the wolves. Not divine, but mortals of great worth.

Ours was but charity by Manetho. To care for the powerless and to bring forth a lessening of suffering was a good deed in their eyes.

“You, young human, have suffered a lot despite your youth…I see it locked deep within your soul windows. The images of pain and suffering flash about them like bolts of lightning," he said to me once as he checked up on us, delivering us fresh woven bed-cloths and a jug of water to sate our thirst.

This was our first night here and the unease of this all being a peaceful facade for some insidious slave market was seated in the back of my head, smug and waiting to wag his finger with a scold of 'I told you so' ready and waiting on the tips of his lips.

So, such a remark by this strange, lanky wolf-like canine was such a bizarre turn of events.

“The wolf, you too have your past written on your face! How powerful you once were, the deflated pride of your face making your jowls drop with shame and regret. Were you once a nomad Alpha from the steppes who lost his pack?" he inquired in a monotone tone devoid of wanting, if I had previously thought this canine had the power to enter and read the mind like a book this proved to me his skills were uncanny.

“Kutlar…Alphate..." Gernan grumbled in the corner of this small, cell-like room lit only by a single lamp in the darkness of approaching evening. He did not like to be reminded of his failure to counter the threats of his long time rival.

“Ah, yes, the new order! News of your Alpha's unification of their land has only reached us in the last decade."

“That was over fifty years ago!" Gernan's voice raised, none too happy at having his past brought up by a stranger and was offended by the other canine's lack of information on the Imperial Alphate.

Manetho, no doubt picked up on this and returned to me, gesturing me to speak with him outside under the purple-scarlet, marbled clouds, “I have caused your wolf suffering of mind, I apologize for this..." I caught a glimmer of sadness through his stoic mask.

I said to him that it was nothing and thanked him for his shelter. My suspicion was tamed, I read nothing but sincerity within his heart. He then asked me if I would like to be shown around the monastery in the morning dawn, I accepted it and it was during that time I happened upon that scene of chimera paying homage to humans.

Within this day, I also came upon a human, he was near the same age as me, maybe a tad younger. Not quite a man like I was, but still not a child. Yosef Fuchs was his name and with an olive complexion and a shaved head atop his monastic habit he made his way over to us once he saw Manetho.

He was a former slave, I was told by Manetho, who recounted his story for me as Yosef would nod along to certain parts to affirm truth.

From a tiny human kingdom in the Southern mountains of Sinai, he was born, raised within the refuge in its harsh land that warded off the hordes of chimera who considered such lands unworthy of settling.

“I should have listened to the Rabbi when he said to stay away from the seaside," he interrupted as the golden wolf started on about how he came here. He was, like me, taken, he had the misfortune of breaking his town's teacher's advice when a group of pirates were making landfall after escaping from a rival raider's ship.

Manetho then spoke of how he was on a mission in a Red Sea port when the young and scared Yosef was put up in a small cage until when he was on the market, waiting to be sold. Such was the ways of unregulated slavers such as them. Manetho bought the human, almost depleting his entire savings he took with him for the mission, and since then the young human had lived here in this quiet place.

The similarity with this fellow human's past plight made me want to stay and stop the half-concluded tour and stay where I was to speak with Yosef more. My first words with him when Manetho left was to almost interrogate him about the truth of it, since he was away from being under the gaze of one of them.

Skepticism was still in me about the whole situation, I had been through enough so far to keep me on my guard of everything around me. Yosef, taken aback by my pointed words, laughed at my lack of faith in the kindness of others and I was a tad humiliated for being so.

“Why does everyone use the lion's speak?" I asked since even in Torum, the lion's language was merely one of many.

“Muni!" was all he said.

“Muni? Must you shamans speak in such vagueness?" I, lacking a word for the monks of this land, used the wolven Shaman in my annoyed outburst at being toyed with by another and by a fellow human for that matter!

“Shaman? Is that what wolves call their wisemen?" knowledge of our arrival had spread, for he obviously knew that I came with the Gernan. “Never mind that!"

“What is Muni!?"

The olive human with dark head-stubble rolled his eyes before starting to answer, “He is the founder and a lion. Now I don't know all, for that would be in the Life of Muni in the library," he paused, catching his breath whilst thinking about how best to explain.

“He was a lion and like all lions he was meant to fight for leadership of the pride but loathed it all and left his pride to find the truth of existence and why he had to spill the blood of others," he went on, telling of how this lion cut off his mane in a renouncement of his ways and proceeded to abstain from meat and lived on only eight leaves from the acacia he sat under in attempts to understand and make contact with the universe.

Without the meat, he withered away in a month, he became like a skeleton, so emaciated that he could even touch his backbone from his belly, in this state, his Id, as it was called, awoke. The primal desire, raging and blind came forth and in his mindlessness, bit into his own leg and it was the pain of that which roused Muni from such a state to realize he must tame this primal rage to achieve enlightenment.

I shall not go on other than to say he achieved his goal and managed a balance within between himself and the inner nature through mastery of his desires.

“Once he returned to eating meat, which kept him alive, he traveled and gained followers who sat with him under the same tree that laid witness to his-"

“Okay, I get that now! Now why are we humans are seen as, dare I say it, equals!" again Yosef rolled his eyes as thought I was the younger one in this matter.

“Anim-"

“Not again! Don't you dare pull that again! Saying one word and expecting me to know!"

“For a fellow human, you sure act like a wolf! I have heard-"

“Enough!" all the others in the courtyard looked at me and I felt my face go hot at all the eyes upon me now and looked down on the ground, finally seeing what this upstart youth was previously playing with. Toy soldiers on a paper map, strange hobby for one living as a monk, I thought as I returned to my question, this time making sure to not raise my voice.

“What are you talking about?"

“I am sure you know of the Gods that are worshipped?" I nodded, he then spoke of how growing up he was raised on one god, like I was.

“Well where do you think they were born from? That is called the Anim, it's the force of life itself to put it simply," I felt a headache starting to grow across my forehead and I ended up leaving, feeling I was out-witted much to my shame!

What started out as a slightly hostile relationship eventually bloomed into somewhat of a rapport and then finally a decent friendship as the months passed. I found myself often with him in the library, which was filled with texts collected from all over, past and present, and regardless of the faith it might be from.

Yosef showed me one which he said was often quoted as a child in his temple. He corrected me when I said church, which showed me his mother faith was not the same as mine. Being only a child when raised on the secret island, I only remembered certain things like being told of being the Children Jacob.

The Book of Enoch.

“And after that I saw that when they forsook the house of the Lord and His tower they fell away entirely, and their eyes were blinded; and I saw the Lord of the sheep how He wrought much slaughter amongst them in their herds until those sheep invited that slaughter and betrayed His place. And He gave them over into the hands of the lions and tigers, and wolves and hyenas, and into the hand of the foxes, and to all the wild beasts, and those wild beasts began to tear in pieces those sheep."

Yosef's childhood Rabbis highlighted this as being the reason for the current world. My upbringing never spoke of the reason for the Anthros other than a Messiah that will free us from them. This was shared with Yosef as well but then I found there was one difference.

The number of this said Messiah. I was raised that this would be the second coming of the Messiah where he said he was always was told it was the first.

He confided in me that he didn't always come to the library to read spiritual texts and that he is most fond of the few books they possessed here under the aptly named 'Mundane Affairs' which he says has grown since he has been here thanks to Manetho's patronage of his interests.

“I love battles! When Teacher Manetho comes with new books I make sure to check for any warfare stuff and read that first!" he showed me his hand-drawn maps and the little painted blocks of troops that he would push across the paper maps as to reenact the things he has read.

All this was in his little box of personal possessions that he had stored under his bed in one of the dormitories that all the monks would sleep in. One thing caught my eye as he excitedly rambled on about how so and so military leader did this with only this number of men, not once caring if I was listening or not.

Wrapped in a white cloth with blue stripes on the edges was little, wooden cube-like thing with a stem and was painted with unknown letters. Yosef finally, having looked up to see if I was paying attention, spoke, “Oh…that's all I have from my past…" sadness tinted his voice.

“It's a called a dreidel it-" I then started to quietly sob, much to Yosef's monumental confusion.

This little fragment of one's past was so much like my little drawing I saved when I was taken, I had not thought of it at all and had entirely forgotten it since that fateful day when the world fell down on us.

It was of true sadness and also of anger. Anger at myself for having forgotten such a pivotal part of myself and was thus ashamed at my betrayal! I ripped in rage across my memories, desperate at where I last saw it.

I placed it under something, I could not quite remember other than that it was in the same box I had left my Alphate claws that I had earned. Thinking harder, as the poor Yosef tried to calm me, still not knowing what was going on with me.

Then, I remembered it most vivid in an instant. I was on the hardwood floor of the manor that, at the time, never thought would be the last. A plank was loose in the corner of this one room and I was prying it open before I slid in my box of possessions until we returned.

Partially, I felt relieved that it was still probably there, the chances of it being found were nil; as were the chances of me ever seeing it again.

I finally calmed down enough, I didn't want to give Yosef the entire long story of why, other than I had my own mementos, which innately sensing he would ask to see, countered that I had lost them.

“Don't lose your past, Yosef…"

“It's the root of your being..."

The eight spokes of the golden wheel spun, each one of being a virtue in honor of the eight leaves that the emaciated lion Muni took as his meals each day in his path to knowing oneself in full. The good and the flawed, the Id and the Ego, make contact with the Anim within the mind and unveil the spark of life.

“Form is not different from emptiness. Emptiness is not different from form."

Dressed in the white, I recited.

“Form itself is emptiness and emptiness itself is form."

Head shaved of the worldly, I recited.

“Sensation, conception, synthesis, and discrimination are also such as this."

My eyes closed to all, I recited.

Small bells rang and the sense of the other worldliness filled my being with calm oddly akin to an explosion! Such two things, calm and explode are opposite but they are one. Was this it? Was I close to knowing oneself!?

My eyes opened, the world that they gazed upon felt ethereal but grounded all at the same moment of time, a brief fleeting moment of feeling as if one knows everything and the whole cosmos has opened up to you, but before you get a chance you are back in the realm of reality.

Meditation was over, I got up and payed homage to the gaunt human image of Avatar Lincoln, wearing his tall, brimmed hat, a circlet of paneled symbols cresting the base funnel-like form. Left hand held aloft, pointing to the heavens, the right holding up broken chains.

“Light upon you, Avatar!" I praised as I went around and gave praise to the second Avatar: the first wolf, leader of first chimera against man. Dressed in fantastical armor of twisting forms and holding aloft a fiery sword.

A memory of Little Wolf telling me how the First Wolf's sword is apart of the regalia of the Imperial Alpha came to mind, filling me with a warm feeling hinted with wistful melancholia.

“Light upon you, Avatar!" remembering the words of praise, after which I then withdrew from the chamber along with the others, of fur and skin we were all brothers and sisters in our spark of Anim.

The Chakravartin, leaders who had spun the golden wheel of Anim and in sync with the nature of the universe and all of its facets was the focus of our meditations on that Summer's day.

This was me, a year had passed and they had ordained myself as a novice monk in this creed. How much of a protective father Gernan was when I told him! The shocked and puzzled look on his face when I spoke of my desire to become this.

His amusing anger at seeing me shaved in the ordination rite, sulking with a disappointed frown across his muzzle and him unable to bear to look at me in those first days afterwards are still moments of fondness.

It had been a year since then, though I could be completely off, those long sessions of meditation and reading of sacred texts had the tendency to make time seem like nothing in the grand scheme. No longer were the fears of the future persisting on me like before. Not only that, but I had also come to terms with my existence or better put, my lot in this world I was living in for lack of a better wording.

He finally came around to it, even himself admitting that this way was not in opposed to the traditional wolf ways. The orthodox Way of Hierarchy, it's worship focused on rank, or that of the Lone Wolf Way, its prodigal sibling. I always enjoyed the way Gernan explained the differences between the two schools of thoughts in a story of a meeting between two friends of each.

“The Lone Wolf, coming with his fur merely brushed with his paws and in simple, wrinkled robes, rode into Nutag riding a horse backwards, not caring for anyone's exact rank when bidding greeting."

“The Wolf of Hierarchy went out to great his old friend. Dressed in in the appropriate ceremonial clothing for his rank and embodying all the most proper etiquettes that are proscribed."

“'This Beta wolf gives his greetings to an associate Beta wolf. Dear friend, why do you ride your mount backwards?' said the Wolf of Hierarchy to which his friend of the Lone Wolf way replied:"

“What does it matter if I am going backwards or forwards? A wolf can be riding forward but inwardly be going backwards! Thus too, a Beta can pretend to pay homage his Alpha but inside not mean it!"

The two old friends then went off, sharing a mutual laugh.

Such the core differences of the two ways of thought were encapsulated in the form of a humorous tale. I only bring this up for the fact that Gernan looked upon this creed I was now subscribing as just another way. Musing that he could see it fit in among wolves if it ever got there and saying sardonically that Titus would enjoy seeing that happen, being a strict follower of the orthodox that is Hierarchy.

How the wolves love their schools of thinking…

I now wish this went on and nothing ever happened after finding peace in this place. It was a refuge of solitude and tranquility away from the world and all its conflicts and peace, its good and evil, suffering and contentment and all that lay in between.

My nights were troubled with dreams, strange ones that gave me unease, a white moth was a prominent symbol of nearly all of them. Its meaning at that moment eluded me, but it made me afraid since it inspired a sense of coming gloom.

It was now Spring, it had been two whole years since coming to this place and on one of these days, a ship was spotted sailing down the river. A ship of which construct was familiar to me, it was a style I had seen before and its banner only confirmed what I had known deep within my heart.

It was the imperial sigil of the Kutlar Alphate. It was a ship sent out by direct order of the Alphate.

An Alphate under the rule of, then unknown to me…

Imperial Alpha Ulric…

My Little Wolf!