Ten Years Ago

I was walking on the trail in the woods, listening to a song on my new portable cd player I got on my eleventh birthday. My birthday was three days ago.

It's the afternoon, during the summer break from school.

I hummed with the song playing in my headphones. It was 'Tumbling Dice' by The Rolling Stones.

I shook my hand up and down in rhythm as I walked. I really like The Rolling Stones. Thanks to grandpa, I've started listening to them.

When I went around the corner of a tree, I bumped into a familiar face and I jumped back in shock and fright.

I fell down on my butt and I looked up at him. It was Ben that I've ran into.

I growled at him in anger and I turned the cd player off and took my headphones off. I sighed angrily, "Ben, you scared the SHIT out of me!"

Ben laughed and then he narrowed his eyes down at me, "You watch your language, Jason. You know you're not old enough to say that those kind of words yet."

I just glared at him, "But you SCARED me."

Ben shot up his head, "So, that means I've broken a record. This is now the one hundredth time I've made you jump out of your skin for all the years since I've met you." His beak showed a grin. A very smug and proud grin.

I rolled my eyes and raised one finger to flip him off.

Ben's eyes bulged out of his skull and he squawked, "Hey! You put that thing away! You wait till I tell your mother on you."

I giggled and put my middle finger away, "And if you do that, I'll pull a feather off of you. Remember that I pulled off TWENTY feathers since I've met YOU?"

Ben winced at the memory and he put a paw to his neck, "I don't like it when you pull my magnificent feathers off of me."

I laughed and then I shook a finger at him, "Then don't tell mom on me and I won't pull the TWENTY FIRST feather off of you. Deal?"

"Deal."

Then I pointed my finger at him, "And don't you forget it."

Ben rolled his eyes, "You know you can be a real menace to me sometimes. Also you're a brat."

I gave him a mock expression, "And why would you call me a brat? I'm lovable!"

Ben grinned at me, "Yeah right, you brat." Then he changed the subject and frowned, "So what are you listening to this time?" Then he held up a paw, "Let me guess, The Rolling Stones?"

I nodded, "Yeah thanks to this cd player, I can walk in the woods without being so bored. You know me, I like walking in the woods, but it's always so boring here."

Ben shook his head, "It's not boring ALL the time. You just need to get used to living  out here." Then he shot up his head proudly, "Like me."

I rolled my eyes, "I wouldn't want to live out here like you do. It really is boring. There's no TV out here."

Ben shook his head, "That's your problem, not mine."

I put a hand to my chest and giggled, "Exactly, it's my problem. Which that means, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE OUT HERE."

Ben waved me off with a paw, "Oh whatever you brat."

I glared at him and crossed my arms, "Quit calling me a brat."

He grinned and shot back, "I'll call you whatever I want, you brat."

That's when I had it, "That tears it!" Then I walked up to Ben and before he could do anything, I pulled a feather off of him. He squawked and he glared at me.

I waved the feather at him and my eyebrows raised, "We even now?"

Ben with the glare in his face muttered, "Maybe." Then he grinned at me, "But I can't stay mad and start a physical fight with you. Your mom might kill me."

I smiled at him in amazement, imagining her kicking his big butt, "She might." Then I giggled. So did he.

Ben asked, "So how is your mother today? She still on her work vacation?"

I dropped the feather and nodded, "Yeah she is and she's fine." Then I frowned at him, "You know, you have been asking me about mom lately, what's up with you?"

His eyes looked like he was hiding something and he shook his head, "Nothing's up. I just like hanging with your mom. After all we are best friends."

I gave him a mock gasp, "I thought I was your best friend?"

He shook his head and narrowed his eyes at me, "No, because you just pulled another feather off of me."

I shot at him, "That's because you deserved it, you smug asshole."

Ben said with a stern voice, "Jason, language."

I giggled and waved him off, "Sorry."

Ben smiled at me, "No problem. Just keep your language to a minimum. I don't want your mother to hear that. She'll think it was MY fault. Knowing myself."

I put a hand to stifle my giggle and said, "Yeah knowing yourself, you always let it slip out by saying a cuss word a time or two."

Ben raised a paw, "Only just slip ups young man, only slip ups."

I shrugged, "If you say so."

Ben put his paw down and lowered his head to my level. He asked, "So Jason, you want to go flying with me today?"

I looked at my cd player in my hand. Well I guess I could sit this down somewhere. I looked around and saw a rock nearby. That would be a good spot for it.

I smiled and looked at Ben. I said, "Sure, I'll go flying with you."

Ben grinned and nodded, "Alright lets go."

I ran to the rock and put m cd player and headphones down. I ran back to Ben and he lowered his body to the ground. I climbed on his back and I sat down on it.

I gripped the feathers and Ben asked, "Ready nephew?"

I nodded and said with a determined face, "Lets do it."

Ben saw a path and he ran on it. he started to flap his wings and soon we took off flying. I cried out in excitement, and shook a fist in the air, "YEAH!!!!!!"

Ben made a very high pitch eagle cry when we were over the woods. Soon we were so high in the sky. I looked down at the ground. Being up in the air doesn't get old to me.

I remember the stories my mom and dad told me about flying on his back. I could see where I got that from.

*****

Me and Jason are walking back to his house, after his flight for the afternoon. I had a big smile on my beak as I watched Jason walking beside me. He had a blast.

He's close to a son I never had. Honestly when I first Jason a few years ago, I was beginning to wonder if it would work out.

But as it turns out so far, he's the greatest.

Of course he can be a brat, but hey that's Jason for you. I can see how Alan deals with him.

I sometimes wished I had a child. To have someone to hold onto. To call him son.

I sometimes even wished there were other gryphons like me. That way I would spend time with my own kind.

As I padded along beside him, I looked at him again. Jason's cheerfulness reminds me of...His mother.

I sighed to myself as I walked. Cassandra...

It's been eleven years after Jason was born and here I am thinking about Cassandra that way.

Not as a friend, but...As my lover.

For god sakes Ben! You can't think that way about her! It's been ELEVEN years get a grip on yourself, bird brain!

But I couldn't get a grip on myself. Every time I look at Jason, I see her.

I really love her. Ever since that day when I took Cassandra flying on my back, I've always...Loved her.

But in all honestly...How would Jason and Alan think if they knew about my feelings toward her?

Alan would hate me for sure and say, 'I don't ever want to see your goddamn face again!' That would be his response toward my actions.

And as for Jason...Poor Jason would definitely hate me. He would never speak to me EVER again. Hell, he would think I'm a freak just thinking about his mother that way.

But despite those fears and what the consequences might be, I still love her.

I don't know if I would ever tell her how I feel. I...I don't want to hurt her. Not to mention frighten her.

What if I can't let it go and move on? It's been driving me crazy every time I think about it. Driving me crazy for YEARS.

I sometimes feel like I'm jealous that Alan has her, what kind of a brother am I? Envy of my brother, of all the damn things! I'm such a terrible brother.

What am I going to do?

When me and Jason were close to the house at the edge of the woods, I saw a unfamiliar car in the driveway.

I stopped in my tracks and Jason noticed it as well. Jason looked up at me and asked, "Who is that?"

I shook my head and looked down at him, "I don't know. I don't know who's car is that."

Jason said, "You stay here, I'll go find out who it is." And with that, he ran out of the woods to go in the house.

I saw him enter and I sat down on my haunches, sighing.

Well I wonder who it could be?

Not very long after that, I saw Jason, Alan, Cassandra, and another man exit the house. They were heading toward the edge of the woods.

That man who was walking with them, he's...Familiar.

I've seen him before.

Then my eyes went wide and I grinned. I know who that is.

I bounded toward the edge of the woods and all of them jumped in shock and fright.

Everyone even Cassandra glared at me. She sneered, "Ben! Why did you do that?! You almost ran us over!"

I winced when she screamed at me, I waved a paw at her in a apologetic gesture, "I apologize. It's just I haven't seen this guy for years!"

I looked at the guy who's with them and he smiled at me. He's about Alan and Cassandra's age.

My father George knew his father when I was little and him and his son knew me and Alan.

According to Alan, Clifford even met Cassandra after Alan and Cassandra's wedding years ago. I wasn't there because of what I am, so that's why I didn't meet him there.

His name's Clifford. Clifford Brewer.

Clifford grinned at me and said, "Hey Ben, it's been awhile."

I nodded slowly, "Too long if you ask me. I haven't seen you since I was little. You certainly changed."

Clifford shrugged, "Well I got older, so what did you expect?"

I laughed and shook my head, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

Clifford laughed as well and nodded, "Thought so."

Jason looked at his father, "So you guys knew each other?"

Alan looked down at his son and answered, "Yes. His father knew your grandfather and that's how we know each other. We haven't seen each other since we were little. Probably almost eleven, I think."

Clifford shrugged, "Probably a little bit more than that. Who knows really."

I asked, "So where have you been all these years? And how's your dad?"

Clifford had a glum look on his face and said, "He died two years ago. Heart attack."

I had a sad look and muttered, "I'm sorry, he was a great man."

Clifford waved me off, "That's fine. After he died, he left me his company to run. So I've been living in New York City still taking over his company. Not a bad job if you ask me." Then he grinned.

I nodded, "Hmmm, pretty interesting."

Alan then wrapped his arm around his old friend, "Well it's still good to see you again. And I'm glad you got to meet my son for the first time."

Clifford looked down at Jason and smiled, "He looks like a strong, proud kid."

Jason said with uncertainty, "Uh...Thank you."

Cassandra bursted out laughing and she said to Clifford, "Well come on Cliff, dinner is ready." She then looked at me and said, "I'll bring you something to eat as well, ok?"

I nodded and said, "Sounds good to me!"

Alan then beckoned everyone, "Alright lets go eat!"

*****

Several hours after Clifford came here to visit and left, now here I am laying down on my stomach outside my cave, looking up at the stars as usual. Typical summer night.

A cool breeze blowing on me, it seemed to be another perfect night.

But it didn't feel like a peaceful night to me. Despite having Clifford visit us after all these years, my mind feels troubled.

I was still thinking about Cassandra. I shut my eyes and sighed. Trying to get her face out of my head.

Stop thinking like that you dumb ass bird, it will NEVER happen. I can NEVER happen.

But then another part said. Don't say that, you want her and you know it.

You're going to have to tell her someday.

But now I'm wondering what day that will be.

I opened my eyes and sighed once more. This is ridiculous now.

I head a voice I never expected to hear behind me, "Ben?"

I shot up my head. It's Cassandra! I looked over my shoulder and saw her wearing a nightgown.

I had a curious look on my face and asked, "Cassandra? What are you doing out here?"

Cassandra came to me, put her hand on one of my wings and said, "I can't sleep tonight big guy. Got lots of things on my mind."

I asked, "What things?"

She let her hand fall to her side, "Nothing, just things." She walked till she was right in front of me, "I was in the kitchen back at the house, trying to get myself to go to sleep by drinking water. But it wasn't working, I think I needed to lose some energy, so I came out here wondering if you were awake."

My beak formed a devious grin at her, "You're outside with your nightgown on."

She grinned and shrugged, "So? It's not like I'm driving off somewhere in public with it."

I shrugged, "Point taken, woman." Then she slugged me on the shoulder and giggled.

After she did that, she wrapped her arms around herself and asked, "Can I stay with you for awhile? At least until I start to feel tired."

I nodded and moved my paws to give her room to sit with her back against my chest, "Of course. I'm not doing anything right now, except sitting out here alone."

She nodded and she went toward my chest. She turned around and sat down on the ground. She scooted back until her back's against me. My heart inside me pounding against her body.

After her back is close to my chest, I wrapped a paw around her, keeping her warm in the cool night. Cassandra sighed in contempt.

She murmured and said, "I like the sound of your heartbeat. It feels good."

I looked down at her and sighed, "Yep, I know." Then I looked up at the night sky.

Both of us were sitting in silence enjoying each other's company. I'll be honest, ever since Cassandra has been busy she doesn't talk to me much anymore. Not like she used to.

We never have nights like this anymore. When we were younger, we would watch the stars together.

So I'm just glad we would have a night like this again, after for god knows how long.

When her body was pressed against my chest, my feelings for her started to intensify a bit.

I used every inch of my self worth to control myself. I don't want to start something here.

Cassandra interrupted my thoughts, "Ben?"

I looked down at her, "Yeah?"

Cassandra said without looking at me, "You know...I miss having a night like this. Better than just going to work and come home. I hardly ever spend time with you anymore."

I smiled at her, "Well your son is good company. When he's home on summer break rom school, he's good company." Then I made a smug remark, "Even he can be a brat, but you got to love the kid."

Cassandra turned her head to playfully grin at me, "Hey it's YOUR fault that he's a brat. He sometimes says he wants to be like you."

I lowered my head to her side, twisting my head to face her. Me and her stared at each other and I grinned at her, "Well the reason WHY he wants to be like me, is because he wants to fly."

Cassandra giggled and reached out her hand to stroke my face, "I wanted to fly as well, big bird."

I leaned my head into her touch. Her touch always felt good.

She put her hand down on my paw that's around her, she sighed again.

Something's bothering her, I can feel it. I asked, "Something troubling you?"

Cassandra sighed and nodded, "Sort of. Something has been troubling me lately. I don't know...A premonition of some sort."

I frowned at her, "Premonition? That's a weird way of putting it."

She shrugged, "I guess it's my motherly instincts kicking in again. For some time now I've been thinking about Jason. You know, what he would do without me and his father."

I stared at her, pretty much seeing her point, "You're wondering how he would survive without you guys."

She nodded, "Of course. What else is a mother for? A mother always makes sure her child has a good life ahead of him or her."

Cassandra then looked down stroking my paw and said, "I'll be honest...I'm wondering if I'm doing a good job. You know...Trying to put him on the right path."

I said, "I think you're doing a good job. He's a good kid."

She looked at me with a worried expression, "But what would he do without us? I mean...What if something unexpected happened to us and we won't be around to raise him?"

I rolled my eyes and waved her off with my other paw, "Oh you're not going to die, so I wouldn't worry about it."

Cassandra sighed, "Remember when...Your dad died? How Alan took it after he died?"

My eyes went wide with concern. I knew what she meant.

After...Dad died, Alan went on a drinking binge. Until he had some counseling and finally had help.

That was two years ago when dad died from brain cancer.

I had a sad look on my face. I...Never said goodbye to him. He was in the hospital and since I'm a gryphon I couldn't go there. It wasn't fair for me. Don't I get to say goodbye to the only father I had?

I was depressed for awhile after he was gone. But it was thanks to...Jason and Cassandra, they pulled me out of my depression.

Cassandra saw my look and she shook her head, "I'm sorry Ben. I...I didn't meant to hurt you."

I shook my head, "You're fine." Then I looked away from her gaze, "I was kinda thinking about him. How I never had a chance to say goodbye to him." I shut my eyes tight, "I wish I was a human just like you. Then I would have never had that problem."

Cassandra had a pity look and shook her head, "Don't say that Ben. I like you for who you are." Then she reached out to touch my face again, drawing my gaze back to her.  I opened my eyes as she stroked my face again, "You should never wish that you've changed. To be something else. You're very special for who you are."

Despite my sadness I let out a small giggle, "I know, it's because I'm freakin handsome."

She laughed and nodded as she continued to stroke my face, "Yes you are, Ben. You are handsome."

Then she put her finger to my beak and asked, "But you understand what I'm talking about, don't you? About how Jason would live without us? What he would do before he became an adult?"

I nodded in understanding, "I do get it Cass. I know what you're getting at."

She looked down at her lap and my paw and she sighed, "Ben...I want you to promise me one thing. Just one VERY BIG thing."

I said, "What?"

She looked at me and said, "Promise me that you would take care of Jason."

My eyes went wide, "What?"

"Promise me that no matter what happens, that after we die, you would look after him. That you would protect him from anyone and anything. That you would be like a father to him. That you would protect with all your might. Promise me Ben."

I stared at her and she added, "If you won't do this for someone else, then do it for ME. You know me all to well to pass this up. I don't want anyone else to take care of him, only YOU. Please Ben...For me. Just for...Being my best friend."

I said, "Cassandra-"

She put both hands to my face and with a pleading look, she said, "Promise me Ben. Please!"

I just stared at her, while her hands are still on my face.

I...I would do it.

I know that nothing bad would happen to Alan and Cassandra. But what if they did die before he became an adult?

I'll do it. I'll do it for Jason. I'll do it for Alan. And for Cassandra.

I nodded slowly, "I promise."

Cassandra smiled and she brought her face close to mine and kissed my feathered cheek. She pulled back and said, "Thank you Ben. I knew there was a reason why I trust you. You are good with kids, more than you know."

She let her hands fall down on my paw on her lap. She still stared at me.

Suddenly my feelings for her became intense again. BEN....Don't think about it.

Then I opened my beak a bit, to try to say something to her, "Cassandra...There's...There's something...I want to tell you."

Cassandra frowned at me, "Yes, big guy?"

Don't do it, don't freakin do it.

I started, "I..."

She's your nephew's mother and your brother's wife! Don't do it!!

"I lo....."

Let it go dumbass! LET IT GO!

Finally I just relented and turned my gaze from her, "Nothing forget it."

Cassandra tilted her head and slowly nodded, "Well okay. If it was nothing, then I guess it's nothing."

I muttered, "I guess."

Cassandra moved my paw off her lap and slowly got up on her feet. She dusted dirt off her nightgown and looked at me, "Well I better go. I'm tired now." She got close to my face and kissed my cheek again. She pulled back and said, "Thanks for everything." Then she whirled around and started to walk away.

As I watched her walk away, her back turned, my feelings for her were more intense by the minute.

Then I had a determined look on my face. I don't care anymore. I'm telling her now.

I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

I hollered for Cassandra, "Wait!"

She stopped in her tracks and turned around to face me with a frown, "Yes Ben?"

I trotted to her until I was right in front of her. When I was, I lowered my head to her level and looked into her eyes.

Cassandra had a suspicious look and asked, "Are you ok? You're giving me a weird look."

I got my face real close to her and said with determination, "Cassandra...There was something I wanted to tell you. Something I should have told you a long time ago. For years, I didn't tell you this."

She backed away a bit and asked, "What is it?"

I said, "Listen to me, the reason why I'm telling you this now is this. If I didn't tell you this before you die and if you did die before I told you this, I will never forgive myself."

Cassandra shrugged, "Tell me what?"

I hesitated, "I..." I trailed off and looked down at the ground.

Cassandra then gave me a smile and she reached out both hands to put them on my face. She said in a comforting voice, "It's okay Ben. You can tell me."

That basically brought me confidence and I looked at her face. Finally without any hesitation, I brought my beak to her mouth for a kiss.

She got caught by surprise and she fell down to the ground on her back.

Cassandra looked at me with a surprise look and muttered, "What are you-"

Then I cut her off by getting my body over her. She gasped, both of my front paws planted firmly near both sides of her head. I looked down at her and she had a nervous look in her eyes.

I looked down at her with love and said, "I love you, Cassandra."

Her eyes went wide and I went on, "I've always loved you. For years I have, and I think I know why I'm the only gryphon in this world."

I got my head close to hers and said, "Because the only thing that matters to me now, is YOU." Then without another second to lose, I immediately got my beak to her mouth again, kissing her. While I was kissing her, my paw was stroking her arm.

Cassandra however wanted to fight it and she pushed my head off of her and pleaded, "Ben stop." She clearly didn't want it.

But I wasn't about to give up. I pushed my head down to her and kissed her mouth again. Her eyes bulged out of her skull. I pulled my head back a bit and just started giving her small kisses to her cheeks, feverishly.

She pleaded, "Ben don't-" She gasped when I started to kiss her neck now, hungry for more of her.

Cassandra said with more force to her voice, "Ben stop, please stop!"

When I got close to her head again to kiss her mouth, she brought up her hand and slapped my face hard with it, "STOP IT!" I cried out and just looked down at her. Shock in my eyes.

Cassandra was now looking at me with shock and fear.

I gasped. Oh no...What have I done?

I started to get myself off of her and when I did, she scooted away from me until she got on her feet. Cassandra still had that same expression when she got up, she breathed heavily.

I started to say with guilt in my voice, "Cass....I'm...I'm sorry." Tears were about to form in my eyes, in guilt and shame.

Cassandra didn't say anything. Then without hesitation, she whirled around and walked away from me.

I gasped in more guilt and shame, as I watched her disappear from my sight. I muttered softly, "...No...." I shut my eyes tight, more tears streaming, getting my feathers on my face wet.

What have I done?

I came on to her LIKE THAT. I...I couldn't control myself.

I've...Hurt her.

NO....Cassandra.

I crashed myself down to the ground and buried my face in my paws, crying in loud sobs.

I'm sorry Cass...I am.

Now you'll never talk to me again, because of this.

I'm such a heartless bastard. I should have listened to you.

Now I'll never see you again.

While I was crying, a shadow was over my face. I lifted my head from my paws and my eyes went wide.

Cassandra came back to me. With both a calm and pity expression.

With my teary face, I said to her with my voice trembling, "Cassandra...I...I'm so sorry....I didn't mean to hurt you...I-"

She held up her hand and said slowly to me with a calm voice, "Ben...I don't hate you. And I'm not afraid of you."

I cocked my head at her, "What?" How could she not hate me? After what I did to her?

Cassandra with a smile for the first time since it happened, let her hand fall to her side and went on, "Ben, I won't turn my back on you. You are my best friend. You had the courage to tell me how you've felt and you also had the courage to back away from it, before things got worse."

I stuttered, "...I..."

Cassandra put her hands to my face and said, "I do care about you, but I love Alan, Ben. And nothing will change that." She kissed my cheek and pulled back, "And I know you Ben, you have feelings and you feel guilty about it. You never meant to hurt me."

I said with a sob, "I'm sorry Cassandra. But I loved you."

She stroked my face, "I know you do." Then she added, "But I also know that there's someone out there for you. She'll find you."

I stared at her and said again, "I'm so sorry Cassandra." I shut my eyes tight with shame, "I will never do this to you again."

Cassandra nodded, "I will always be your friend and I forgive you." She smiled at me, "I would never hate you, and I won't leave you."

I said to her, "I will keep your promise, Cass. I will be with Jason when you and Alan die before he's all grown up, if that happens. I will always think of you as a friend to me. I will be by your side and Alan's. I'll never lose control again. I will be your hero Cassandra. I will be Superman for you." Then I lowered my head a bit more to her chest and nuzzled her, "I will do anything for you, and that's a promise from me."

She wrapped her arms around my head and held me close to he. I sobbed into her chest, getting her nightgown wet with tears.

Cassandra started to cry as well. Crying for her best friend and it's me.

I will never do that to you again, Cassandra.

I will never be jealous of Alan with you EVER again. I'll make sure of it.

And I will keep your promise, for you, Alan, and Jason.

I will.

I will protect your son, Cassandra.

I will.