>Upon investigation, you don't find him in your car

>You instead locate him a little bit down the hill, taking a leak on some low scrub brush

>Probably also taking advantage of the fact that nobody /ever/ comes up here

>Except your gang of degenerates

>And the occasional group of punks to get drunk or trip acid

>"Can I get some privacy here?" He asks, speaking to you with his back turned

>He must have heard you coming

“Sure, just a quick question: I'm going to the store. Want anything?"

>His stream halts abruptly with ringing clarity

>I M P R E S S I V E

>"The Shop N' Save?" He says, stressing the words

>You clear your throat

>It's kind of awkward having to talk to him while he's obliterating this bush

>Yet, you soldier on

“Yeah, Jenna told me not to take you down there-"

>He raises his hand as if he were unpausing the conversation and starts peeing again

>"Yeah, she's got a point. If you're getting food, bring back some donuts and maybe some Halloween candy. Peanut butter cups'll do."

“And what do we say?"

>All he has to do is say please

>You don't like being ordered around, especially by him

>Instead he says the wrong thing

>"I'll pay you back. You know Mikey's good for it," he says, bending his neck around so you can see his smile

>And the fangs that push between his teeth

>You're reminded that he still owes you like a whole six pack

“Not what I meant, dude. Try asking again."

>His smile collapses as he sighs

>You can even see him do a quick eye roll

>"Shit, right. Sorry. PLEASE would you get some donuts and Halloween candy?"

“That's better." 

>You wring a smile out of your minor victory

>Shit if he just asks nicely you'll get all kinds of candy for him

>You grab your keys, plug your phone into your cigarette lighter which hosts a charging plug, and soon you're off, traveling on barren roads under lightening skies

>Brilliant orange sunlight strokes the clouds, tracing them in flame

>The little shops and the houses lay dormant and dark, save for the occasional parent meandering to their car for their morning commute

>Still plenty of time to get to school after breakfast, and you could use the solitude right now

>You've always been introverted, as evidenced by your small squadron of friends and relatively brief social interactions

>Or you're just a boring, shy, coward

>Nah, you've got a lot of positives

>You're patient

>You flick your turn signal on and coast into the Shop N' Save's lot

>You're brave

>You slide easily into a parking space, given that there's practically nobody here this early

>And you've got this kind of wisdom that only years of introversion and observation can cultivate

>It's not street smarts, but you do think you've got a good head on your shoulders

>You're gonna make it, brah

>Walking into the Shop N' Save, you're assaulted by colors like you owe them money

>Namely orange and black

>There's plastic pumpkins on a big pile of hay at the front

>Halloween streamers run the length of the candy aisle, which is completely stocked and loaded up with massive packages of chocolates and sweets

>Fake plastic skeletons hang their feet on top of the shelves, and for a fleeting moment you're reminded of the fact that there is a skellington inside of you right this very moment

>v v v v spooky

>Anyway, the pharmacy is closed, but there's still plenty of over-the-counter pills to go around

>You can't help but notice the 'feminine care' section is picked clean

>All the scent masks

>All the estrus blockers

>Completely gone

>Well, you didn't come here for that stuff

>You swipe a bottle of pain pills off a high shelf

>Turning over the bottle, you see that it also advertises itself as a fever reducer

>There, this'll set Sam straight

>Heh, 'straight'

>You still never found out if he was gay or not…

>… Or if you are at this point

>Too bad you chickened out

>Not like it matters anymore

>He only makes your heart beat a little faster

>And you only care a lot about him

>Y-You're just good bros

>With the peanut butter cups, donuts, a gallon of iced coffee, and medicine for Sam, you cruise on back to the church just as the light begins to hit the roads

>It drains through the retreating clouds, washing everything in a delicate salmon-pink

>You take your time getting back to the old church, slowing down as you take a short detour through a couple of neighborhoods

>The houses are all strung up with cheesy decorations like fake graveyards and glowing plastic jack-o'-lanterns

>To be honest, you fucking love Halloween

>It feels like the border between the living and the dead becomes thinner right around the 31st

>And with all the grass and leaves dying, you can totally see how your ancestors would have thought this was a sacred time where magic abounds

>Unfortunately, given all that's happened… they weren't entirely wrong

>But hey, some good has come of this

>Mike is your friend again, maybe more so than ever

>You're going to save the world

>Alex is still Alex

>Jenna is on your side

>And Sam

>You got to know that little faggot who you used to hate, and you found out he's a lot braver than you think

>He's just a good kid in crappy circumstances

>You almost wish he was here next to you, enjoying the scenery

>He probably doesn't celebrate any holidays because of his shithead father

>Your stomach ties in knots

>His dad is still lurking somewhere

>Hunting you and his son

>Like some kind of primitive animal stalking its prey

>The thought is enough to make you floor it back to the church

>You all sit on the caved in hood of your car, munching down on the sickly sweet donuts, watching your chilled breaths disappear into the lightening sky

>Every bite tastes fills your mouth with pillowy dough and semi-sweet chocolate

>Sam holds his donut in front of his face

>He cautiously sniffs it, his pink nose twitching as he drinks in the rich scent of freshly fried dough and glazed chocolate

>Alex laughs, sending bits of mushy donut onto the pavement

>"Don't tell me you've never eaten a donut before," he says, taking a large, messy bite out of his own

>Sam looks at Alex, his mouth forming a soft and nervous frown

>Which says everything

>"JHESHUS CHRISHT" Alex says through mouthfuls of donut

>You pat Sam on the head, lightly digging your fingers into his oily fur

“Just try it, dude. I promise you'll really like it," you say, ignoring Alex's obvious wink

>You don't care

>You're going to comfort this lil' bunny while he has his first fucking donut ever

>You almost feel like you should be recording this

>Like a baby's first steps

>As you lightly scratch at the skin beneath Sam's fur, his leg starts softly kicking

>Almost like you found some kind of button connected to his stout haunches

>And even though everyone is looking at you, you don't care

>It's cute as fuck the way his powerful legs pound into your door

>Sam opens his mouth and extends a rounded edge of the donut past his teeth

>He takes a meager bite

>Almost instantly his eyes shoot open with glee

>Then he takes a huge bite out of his chocolate frosted donut, chewing thoughtfully and savoring the taste

>When he looks up into your eyes, their bright with pure affection and adoration

>As if he was silently singing praise unto you for introducing donuts into his lowly existence

>Y-You too

>You stop scritching his fur and instead draw an anxious hand to the back of your neck

>Those big gooey eyes make you all gooey inside too

>You don't even want to LOOK at Alex right now

>But you can't help but look over

>And yeah, his eyebrows are shooting up and down, his face painted with an expression that says 'You gonna kiss him?'

>But it's Jenna's confused glare that catches your attention more

>She's staring in disbelief right at Sam as he mindlessly hews off hunks of his donut with his quick moving mouth

>Jenna's nose twitches like mad as she sniffs at the air

>Her head tilts to the side in astonishment

>What is so perplexing about the way Sam smells?

>You can only smell damp earth and the cold coffee…

>…Which Sam is now taking massive swigs of

>Oh boy caffeinated rabbits

>Jenna shakes her head in disbelief and focuses her attention back on her half-eaten donut

>"Thanks for the food, Anon," Mike says, leaning back onto the hood with a cup of coffee in hand. “It's been way too long since I had proper food, you know?"

>Proper food

>Lol

“Don't mention it. And hey, if you need blood-"

>"Pass," he waves a vacant hand at you

>You can't help but feel slightly offended

>"I'll be fine for a while longer. Besides, your blood probably tastes terrible."

>Okay now you're actually kind of offended

“Implying there's good tasting blood?"

>Mike just stares off at the empty space

>"I'm sure there is, dude. I'm not really all the way into this yet."

>He looks pretty zoned out

>Or angry

>But not at you

>Like, his future is basically over

>And he seems to know it

>But a part of him — a part of you — wants to fight for that future

>And you can feel it

>School drags on with all the urgency of a stoned turtle

>You spend most of your time pacing outside of Sam's classrooms, checking inside every so often to make sure that he's okay

>Almost always he's near the back, idly doodling on a loose scrap of paper or staring out a window

>How the hell this kid makes any passing grades is beyond you

>You guess that if you had to put up with the shit that he does back at home, school would be pretty low on your priorities list as well

>You're just thankful that he doesn't have any classes with any goths

>And that his dad hasn't come to school yet

>You feel like a helicopter parent

>You spend the few minutes you have not stalking Sam fraternizing with Jenna, Mike and Alex, who all rode with you to school

>And are damn sure leaving with you. No more running away separately

>The plan, you all decide, is to head to your house after school and get some supplies and hang out there versus sleeping in the church

>Your half-baked 'plan' seems to be the only thing with some semblance of stability

>Because your fellow students sure as hell aren't acting like shining beacons of peace, tolerance and stability

>All the fighting and violence you saw yesterday?

>It's only escalated

>The hallways are no longer fast-moving streams of hormonal bodies, but are giant moving clusters of mammals surrounding fight after fight, fur flying into the air and claws rending into flesh

>When two groups pass each other, it's liable to end in friction

>Like two gears moving in opposing direction

>You just try and stick to yourself as the hours count by, as teachers rush bruised and bloody students to the nurse's office, and as the administrative staff grows increasingly worried that they won't be able to weather this storm

>By the time school ends, you've nearly been jumped twice just for being a human

>Or not belonging to any social cliques

>And every time a rival group jumped in to save you — not that they intended to. They just happened to have a bigger problem with the group that was assailing you than you than they had with boring, lonely old Anon

>Primarily, it was jocks who targeted you, looking more and more feral with each passing moment

>The humans were starting to grow facial hair and unsightly body hair, rippling out of their cliche letterman jackets, shearing the red and white fabric

>They're getting taller and bulkier too, shoulders pulling outwards more with muscles bulging underneath their skin

>And the other mammals? They're starting to look more wolfish — their ears are coming up in points, their snouts are narrowing into aggressive muzzles

>You observe all of this as you plaster yourself against the wall outside Sam's classroom

>The bell rolls over and kicks itself as the proverbial floodgates open up

>Students pour out of open doors in great throngs, but all too quickly there's more skirmishes between the different groups of mammals

>Sam wanders out of class (last, again)

>Your hands shoot out and find his own before he can register what's happening

>He gives a startled squeak until he realizes it's your own hands that are pressed into his

“God damn, kid. What took you so long?" You say, tugging him down the hall

>He evens up the pace and falls in line next to you

>"A-A-Are you mad at me?" He says, looking up at you

>You slink past a pair of ugly looking punks by pressing yourself and Sam into the lockers

>The colorful group of mammals — mostly hyenas and weasels — pass by without incident

“No, just… you know that there's people out there who want to hurt you, right?" You say

>Okay maybe you're a little upset

>He was taking this whole thing too lightly, you feel

>"S-Sorry," he says pointing his eyes to the floor

>Sudden pangs of guilt wash over you

“I just want to keep you safe, is all." 

>You're filled with determination

>Your march is bold, proud, determined… Your face says “DON'T FUCK WITH ME OR MY BUNNY"

>And nobody does

>Not even when you pass Vanessa

>She just stares after you from behind a black veil, her eyes sunken in from all the eyeliner and sleeplessness

>Swallows of black coffee and cigarettes hold her body aloft 

>She wouldn't risk an attack in the open, would she?

>After all, her two most important targets are right in front of he-

>Ah

>Mike joins you at your side

>That's why she hasn't attacked yet

>Mike look especially pissy today, his eyes simmering with the desire to belt someone in the face

>And then Jenna falls in beside him, her head on a cautious swivel

>She steers your walk down an even busier hall that leads out to the parking lot

>Not the direction you'd take, but hey, you're not going to complain

>It's fairly roundabout, but anything to keep the bun safe

>Alex casually brings up the rear, his gaunt form looming over the group

>"Same plan?" He says

“Same plan," you acknowledge, still glaring straight ahead

>When you get outside, you see that the parking lot is absolute chaos

>Cars dart in every direction — almost as if they're trying to ram one another

>But you're not playing this game

>Not even when an SUV nearly clips Mike

>Your short, stocky friend, reaches out his hand…

>…And scrapes into the SUV's paint, peeling up the metal like he were a human can opener

>Jesus Christ

>That's some real vampire shit

>Mike only scowls as the driver lays on the horn and stomps on the brakes

>"C'mon kiddies, everyone to Anon's shit beater," Mike says, casually strolling towards your car, paying the driver he just clawed no mind

“Well fuck you too, buddy. You can walk," you say sarcastically

>"Bet I'd still beat you there," Mike replies

>You all pile into your car, just like this morning

>The sun was already starting on its way down, shooting godrays across your dashboard

“Anyone need the heat?" You say

>Mike climbs up in the passenger seat

>"Not when I'm here," he jokes

>hurrrr durrrr

>But he might be right,

>You look behind you, and everyone is crammed so closely together you can't help but assume that they're trading body heat

>Alex is sitting in the center

>Jenna and Sam are at his flank, looking incredibly uncomfortable

>Especially Sam, whose pink nose is wrinkling in earnest

>He probably smells something really strong, because his face is once again pulsing with a blush

>Maybe Alex farted…

>No, because Jenna is squinting at Sam, processing something wordlessly

>You just remember you forgot to give Sam his medicine

>Well, when you get to your house, you'll remember

>Because everything will be as it should be, and you'll finally get some reprieve

>Everything is not as it should be

>Ohhhh everything is far from that

>Let's start with your kicked in front door

>It sits in two splinters, loosely suspended on its hinges

>"It could be the wind," Alex observes quite dumbly

>No, it was not the wind

>It was someone with huge, powerful legs

>Or… something… 

>Moving into the house, there's more shit that's fucked up

>First off: everything is in disarray

>Tables and chairs knocked over

>Couches on their sides

>Jesus Christ someone had to be really strong

>Or really mad

>To do this

>The TV sports a massive hole in it that'll cost you your non-existent college fund

>The fridge is open and food is everywhere

>And

>You sprint to your room

>It's completely destroyed

>Everything is upside down, smashed, or seemingly tossed against the wall

>That includes your PC

“Muh rig," you whisper, staring down at the shattered and snapped silicone pieces

>"I'm just going to assume you don't normally live like this," Jenna observes with suspicion, speaking low. “So it looks like someone knows where you live."

“Right," you say, bending over a torn sleeping bag from the night that Alex and Sam slept in your house. “So, we're sure as hell not staying here until Friday. Take what we need — extra clothes, money, beer…" your eyes quickly sweep over Sam, who is sniffing at the air. “Soap…"

>"Speaking of soap," Jenna cuts in. “I want to shower."

>"Same," Mike agrees

>You're dumbstruck

“My house just got broken into and trashed and you want to shower… here… now?"

>"It's not like they'll come back. They already broke in and didn't find what they were looking for," Jenna says, kicking at your tossed up bedsheets. “Besides, I have something I want to test."

“What did you want to test, if humans bathe with their tongues?" You fold your arms across your chest

>Jenna blushes

>"Oh fuck off… I just want to test something with Sam. You go get him to shower."

“Is this really urgent? Like, do we need to do this now?" You hiss

>Mike is already stripping off his clothes

>"You two have five seconds to get out of here before I'm naked," he says

>Jenna's neck turns on a dime

>Her blush only strengthens when she sees Mike's half-naked body struggling to get out of a pair of jeans

>Sam comes rolling in to the room with a Dr. Bepper in hand

>"W-What's going on in he-"

>You shield his delicate little eyes from the sight of Mike's stocky, shirtless body

>Nobody deserves to see that

>Jenna squeals and slaps Mike on the back

>"God damnit, put your clothes back on until you get to the bathroom!" She cries

>Mike lurches forward from the blow

>"Jesus! Claws!" He wheezes. “Fucking snapjaw!"

>You gasp

>Sam gasps

>Jenna snarls

>"What did you just say?"

>"I-" Mike struggles his shirt back on his head. “It just kind of slipped ou-"

>Jenna growls deep in her chest and bares her fangs

>"Go shower, Sapone, or I'm going to bite your dick off."

>"I'm going, Christ. Watch the claws next time!" He hobbles through the doorway, past Sam, his pants still barely on

>You lead Sam up to your shower, grabbing a towel from your room

>He's still slurping on his Dr. Bepper

>"W-Where are we going?" He asks as you flick on hallway lights

“Jenna thinks it's best if everyone gets a shower in," you grumble, clearly unhappy with the decision

“It doesn't look like whoever fucked up your house did anything to the bathrooms, strangely enough

>Sam pales

>"S-Shower?! I-I-I don't need to s-shower or b-bathe with yo-"

>Wew lad

“Slow down there buddy, you and I aren't showering together. You're showering by yourself. And yes, you do need a fucking shower."

>Man, you're awfully pissy

>You run the water in your bathroom

“There's shampoo, conditioner, and a bar of soap," you say, pointing to all the dark blue bottles lining the shower floor

“Oh, and this is for you. You've been burning hot since this morning," you practically throw the little pill at him

>"W-What is this?" He squeaks

“Just take it," you sigh. “I'm going to go keep watch. You know how to use a shower, right?"

>Damn

>You're REALLY pissy

>The bunny nods, clearly hurt,

>His greasy bangs fall across his eyes

>You shut the door on him as the hiss of the shower starts up

>You slide backwards with a tremendous sigh. “Fucccck," you mutter as you lean into the door

>You were hoping to be able to spend the rest of the week here, where there's beds and bathrooms and showers

>But now either Sam's dad or the goths know where you live

>They could have easily got your information from the school

>Or followed you one day

>Or

>Bleh

>It doesn't matter

>If your information is compromised, then so is everyone else's'

>There'll be no holing up at Jenna's, Mike's, or Alexi's

>Nope, just more nights at the fucking church

>Jehsush Chroist

>You are Sam

>Oh shit oh fuck oh fuck

>It smells like Anonymous in here

>Every breath you take coats your lungs in his scent

>Your insides are starting to feel hot and confused, like balloons knotted together

>The illustrious human musk — kind of sour, masculine, spicy, is your drug

>You've been addicted to it ever since you met Anon

>Or maybe it's just him?

>You run your hands through your long-ish hair

>You are really, really greasy, and you do need a shower

>But the whole room is spinning something awful

>You quickly down the pill Anon gave you

>Maybe you are getting sick?

>Or…

>Worse… You're in your cycle

>You gasp, but that only serves to put more of Anon in your lungs

>Being in heat right now is absolutely not what you or anyone else needs

>Christ, why are you such a burden to everyone?

>Even Anon seemed pissed off at you

>You jump 10 feet into the air when you hear a light rapping on the door

>"Yo, dude, are you going to shower? Because I have to go after you," Anon says, his voice tired and uninterested

“Y-Yes!" You stammer, shucking your ratty hoodie and whipping it onto the sink

>“Good," Anon says with a flatness to his tone. “Just don't clog the drain with fur."

>"R-Right!"

>You tug on the waistband of your pants with hesitation

>Your eyes flick over to the door

>As quiet as a mouse (though they're not that quiet, in actuality. One of your neighbors was a mouse and she was up all night 'squeaking' most night) you jiggle the knob and find that the lock holds

>Unlike back home

>But you're not thinking of /that/ home. You don't live there anymore

>You finally lose the pants

>And there you stand, in the mirror, wearing a stained white undershirt and a pair of old boxers

>Your meager breasts stand like little bumps against the thin white fabric of the shirt

>You delicately palm them and wonder why you even have them?

>You're still a woman, you know that much is true

>You're just not a good woman

>You could never make Anon- Y-You mean, any man, happy

>So why do you care so much?

>The most feminine feature you posses, you think, is your hips and thighs

>Because of your slender, delicate frame, your prominent haunches look simply ridiculous

>Even as emaciated as you are, your thighs are rounded and powerful, nature-built for sprinting and kicking

>Put all of this in one body and you're like a badly cobbled together art project

>Your proportions are all wrong

>You lift your shirt just a little bit, blushing all the while

>Here goes nothing

>One a quick motion you jerk your shirt off, tugging it over your long ears

>And there you stand, again

>A brown Mini-Rex rabbit, wearing nothing but her boxers, blushing furiously

>It must be the scent of Anonymous in here that's throwing you off

>You shake your head again to try and loosen your… urges…

>But it's no use

>Maybe a shower will help?

>Building a curtain of steam, you take probably longer than you should under the rinse

>But…

>… You actually got to shower for the first time in a /long/ time, and that feels like heaven

>You look into the fogged mirror, wiping aside a layer of mist with your paws

>With your fur freshly scrubbed, hair shampooed and conditioned and laying in thick, wet strands across your face, you feel…

>…Cute? 

>Pretty?

>Oh god

>Are you pretty?

>No

>This is just the heat talking

>You've n-never been pretty

>You're just a dumb useless rabbit

>Still

>When you lean in closer, you can't help but feel a gentle tinge of heat come into your cheeks

>You drop your slender, rounded shoulders and summon a deep, misty breath

>With unsure eyes, you scan over your body, lightly twisting your long, floppy ears that hang down like two useless snakes growing from your scalp

>You let a wandering finger trace their pink insides before smoothing the fur out across your face

>Your nose and whiskers wrinkle at your own gentle touch

>You run your hand through your hair and push it back

>It'll dry soon

>Now, it's time for the real moment of truth

>You close your eyes and slowly exhale a knot of nervous air

>The towel drops in a damp pile around your feet

>You've done it

>You're totally naked

>You haven't been totally naked in…

>… Well it's been a long time

>With appraising eyes and wandering fingers you scan over your still sodden body, its fur matted down with warmth

>You have a thin, almost emaciated midsection that draws down from your upper torso

>Dotting your chest are two pink nipples, suspended on your two palmable breasts, hanging softly above your quite visible ribcage

>Your bones are delicate and fragile, almost hollow

>Like a bird's

>You travel down further to where your waist pinches in

>And then bows out again gently with noticeable exaggeration

>Set back powerfully are your haunches, which meld into your rather apparent thighs

>And between them…

>You shiver as you brush a finger over your sensitive clit

>… Is the pink slit of your sex

>You've never known how to feel about this, since girls aren't tough, and vaginas aren't either…

>… Is what you tell yourself

>Jacob wanted you to be tough

>Dad wanted you to be his son

>But you couldn't be either of those things

>You don't feel like a boy — you know you're not

>No matter how hard you try, you can't make it happen

>You can only pretend for Jacob's memory and Dad's approval

>You've done it for so long that you hardly know your feminine side. But it's there, lurking beneath your sensitive skin

>And you don't feel brave

>You just feel like a weakling

>So you pretend to be someone you're not, so you can be strong

>Just like Jacob would have wanted

>Still…

>You give a quick spin

>Your poofy tail flairs out, and you catch a quick glimpse of your naturally padded buttocks

>Glutes from all the running and from what nature gave you

>And that's just how rabbits are built, you guess

>Oh God

>Your face flushes as you think back to the cheerleader who absolutely M O G G E D you in the hallways yesterday

>D-Do you honestly compete with her?

>Better question: do you think you do?

>God, deep in your tiny, fluttery little heart, you hope so

>But you'd never admit that

>Nobody finds you attractive

>Anon is just so nice to you since you're his friend

>Yeah

>You're friends

>You don't have feelings for him!

>Even though being near him makes your heart start to race

>And when you're with him all the noise in your head just goes quiet

>It's like nothing else matters

>He's handsome, and kind, and brave, and you're so glad he's your…

>… friend

>Oh who the hell are you kidding

>He's you knight in shining armor, Jesus fucking Christ

>Your knight in shining armor bangs loudly on the door, sending you 10 feet into the air

>"Yo Samuel. Sammy. Sammethy. You done in there?"

“J-Just a minute!" You scramble to throw on your clothes

>And you check one last time for hair in the drain

>Thankfully, you managed to scoop all your loose trimmings into the trashcan

>You don't want to offend Anon

>After all, he's probably not used to having anthros in his house

>You and Jenna need to set positive examples

>You open the door and slip on out, fully clothed, but still damp

>A trail of steam follows you

>Anon looks up at you, his trailing his eyes from the red book suspended in his palms over to you

>You nervously brush your hair out of your eyes

“I-I'm done," you say

>For whatever reason you feel extra self-conscious, just standing there in the hallway, still wet, wearing some crusty old clothes

>Anon studies you with interest before slapping the red book shut and loosening his tie

>"Lookin' sharp, kid. My turn." Anon slides past you, and you just stand there like some kind of gawking idiot 

>“I promise I'll be quick," he says

>The door slams with a *WHOMF* and the hiss of the shower can be heard not long after

>You… You don't know what to do now

>You've always waited for someone to tell you what to do and where to go

>Your eyes scan the hallways, lined with shattered family portraits

>You bounce a little on your heels

>What now?

>Ah

>Wait

>Doesn't Anonymous have a comic book collection?

>Oh my fuck he does

>You bound off down the hallway, using your nose to sniff out Anon's room

>Finding his is easy: It's the one that smells the most like a mix of sweat, cologne and human musk

>The smell hits you like a massive wave, and in an instant, you're dizzy

>You steady yourself on the doorframe

>Your head swims through the musk, drawing your legs into a mechanical trot through the doors

>Unwashed clothes are strewn about the floor like land mines of pheromones

>Wew

>You can hardly think straight

>And it's by sheer luck that you manage to wander over to Anon's book shelves

>You find the comics, but you're barely reading

>Mostly just sitting there with an open copy of Superman, rubbing your thighs together absentmindedly

>It might be time to admit your heat is getting to you

>…

>Nah, you'll be okay. You can control this

>Anon casually strolls into the room wearing nothing but a towel

>[Thigh rubbing intensifies]

>You squeak loudly and shield your eyes with a copy of The Man of Steel

>Anon jumps back

>"Oh FUCK, dude!" His hands fly to his waist

>He tightens the towel around his midsection

>But your eyes still creep over the top of your hastily constructed visual barrier to catch a glimpse of his bare, hairless chest

>"What are you doing in here?" He asks breathlessly

>You can't tell for sure, but is his face going scarlet?

>You forget to answer

>You're just…

>Staring

>Possibly drooling

>Anon snaps his fingers

>"Yo, dude. I need to change. So just like… turn around or something."

“W-WHAT!?" You practically shriek

>Anon looks at you with an expression of confusion

>"I'm going to change. In my own room. Is that not okay with you?"

“Y-You mean like you-your're g-going to b-b-b-be naked?"

>A moment of silence passes

>Anon blinks a few times and droops his shoulders

>"I mean… yes. I planned on it. I'm not wearing anything except this towel right now." He pats his hip

>You can't help but watch the whole thing, eyes wide

>come to think of it, you don't think you've ever seen a naked human before

>Sure you've seen shirtless humans (briefly), but never…

>Oh god

>Your heat is so fucking bad

>This is bad

>Anon, oblivious as fucking usual, turns around and starts grabbing underwear, socks and a pair of jeans from his drawers

>"I-" you stand up, still shielding your eyes with a copy of superman

>Just put down the comic

>C'mon

>His back muscles are probably so hot

>Maybe the towel will slip off

>And maybe he'll turn around

>And maybe he'll say to you:

>'Sam, I want to make sweet, gentle love to you.'

>OH GOD WHAT IF HE DOES GET NAKED WITH YOU IN THE ROOM

>HE STILL THINKS YOU'RE A BOY

>You open your mouth to stammer out an apology, but the sound of heavy, damp fabric hitting the carpet makes your heart stop

>He did it

>He's naked

>"Turn around a sec," Anon says quite casually

>You oblige, absolutely GLOWING RED in the face

>Quickly you drop the comic and start tugging painfully at your ears

>Stupid

>Stupid

>Why did you think you could just WALTZ right into Anon's musky room and start going through his shit?

>Stupid

>Well, he doesn't seem to care too much, so maybe this isn't entirely a fuck up on your behalf

>Maybe he's just really mad at you and he isn't showing it

>Oh god, he's probably so mad

>Well good going fucktard, you fucked up something else

>Dad was right

>Still clenching your ears, you (very stupidly and impulsively) turn around and begin to apologize profusely

>…Which was the wrong move

>Anonymous, bare-chested and in a pair of boxers, stands in front of you, one leg shoved down the length of his pants

>Your eyes meet

>And for a brief second, nobody moves

>You're pretty sure your heart stopped beating

>Anon is glowing red, his mouth working like he's trying to say something

>You slut

>"Sam?"

“Y-Yes…?"

>"Are you gay?"

“…I g-guess not."

>Anon slips his other leg into his pants and hikes them up to his waist

>He studies you

>"…Because if you are, I won't judge you."

>You don't realize you're breathing hot, sultry breaths

>Or that you haven't taken your eyes off of him 

>Or that you're gently rubbing your thighs together

“I…" you start to answer, but Anon interjects impatiently

>"Would you… just… turn around, or something?"

>…

>Ah, right

>You blink yourself back to reality

>You turn to face Anon's bookshelf in shame while Anonymous throws on the rest of his clothes 

>"Do you feel better?" He asks in a concerned tone

>What?

>NO! There's a fire in your heart!

>…A-And between your legs

“Wh-What do you m-mean?" You ask, because you're curious

>"From the fever. You were burning up this morning. Thought I was going to have to pretend to be your dad and get you out of school or something."

“O-Oh." You nervously dig your feet into the carpet

>He thinks you have a fever

>Can you imagine if he really knew the truth?

>You clutch your ears tightly

>He can never know 

>Nobody can ever know what a weak bitch you really are

“Y-Yeah, I f-f-feel a lot b-bett-tter. T-Thanks for the m-medicine. B-Besides I-I don't think I-I have an-any more s-s-sick days left."

>"Christ," Anonymous says. “Did your dad keep you home a few days?"

>You struggle to keep your eyes forward

>All you want to do is turn around and drink in Anon's unremarkable body

>Sure, he's not ripped

>He's just… an average build, slightly tall

>But to you, he's your superhero

>He's your Man of Steel

>Geeze, humans must take awhile to get dressed

>"Sam?" Anon asks again

“S-Sorry. I w-was t-thinking. Yeah I-I got sick f-for a week an-and some d-d-days I just ca-can't go to sc-school. T-T-T-Too much g-going on a-a-at home."

>"With you and your dad? Where's your mom in all of this? And your brother? You mentioned you had a brother, I think."

"Mom is…" your eyes fall to the copy of Superman at your feet

>Your courage seems to drain out through your toes

>No

>You're brave, damnit

>You promised Jacob you'd be brave and strong

“…Gone. I d-don't kn-know where s-she w-went. Dad said s-she ra-ran away because of me and Jake."

>Anon hums In thought

>There's a quick hiss as he applies a shot of cologne to his chest

>The sweet, slightly bitter scent hits your nostrils instantly

>It's pleasant and sharp, and your nose seems addicted to it

>"Jake… is that your brother?"

"Uh-huh."

>"Were you two tight?"

“W-What?"

>"Sorry. Were you two close?"

>Your heart catches in your chest

>Yes, you were close

>But at times, you were distant

>Jacob was your protector, your guardian angel

>He tried to teach you how to be strong

>How to defend yourself

>Stand up for yourself and others

>But he had too much of Dad in him

>Too much bitterness swallowed down like each hard pull on Dad's bottles

>Too much vitrol, spite, choking on it at times

>He'd turn against you sometimes

>Other times he was downright psychotic

>But you knew it was always done out of a desire to make you tougher

>Like an Indian Summer, he wouldn't be around forever

>And he must have known it, somewhere deep inside of him, where the whiskey rotted his guts

>You only helped accelerate that

>When you…

>You know…

>On the tracks-

>"Dude!"

>Anon drags your hands away from your ears, his heavy fingers ringing around your slender wrists

>"You're going to hurt yourself!"

>Your eyes crack open

>Anon has your hands forced against your sides before you even realize what you're doing

>For the first time in years, pain rings dully in your ears, like a pulsing heartbeat

>"Christ almighty, kid. You scared me."

“S-Sorry," you squeak helplessly. “I-I didn't m-mean t-to do it. I j-just th-thought of my-"

>"Brother?"

>You nod

>"You don't have to talk about him if you don't want to. I'm sorry, I didn't know this was so hard for you."

>You squeeze your eyes shut again, and all you see is Jacob's worn face, eyes sunken in and smoldering with anger, like Dad's

>He haunts the pinks of your eyes and the space behind your skull

>The image of that day on the tracks comes rushing back to you, and your legs start to tremble

>God DAMNIT! Jacob didn't die so you could continue to be a coward!

>You aren't alone anymore! You have people that care about you

>People that love you

>The fact that you're even in a friend's house right now is proof of that

>Your trembling subsides into little tremors that you press into the carpet

>You suck in some of the cologne-y diffused air

>Here goes nothing

>Time to play all of your cards (except, obviously, your most important one)

“M-My brother is d-d-d-d-dead," you say, exhaling the tightness of your chest on the last syllables

>Anon tightens his grip, as if anticipating another anxiety attack

>You slacken the muscles in your shoulders and arms

>Like some kind of scared animal injected with morphine, your tension stymies

>"I had no idea. I'm sorry," he says, after a silence that drags on for far too long

>His grip comes loose as he feels you go soft

>You inspect the scarlet rings pressed into your skin encircling your wrists

>Nothing you can't handle

>Strange, this time it was done out of concern, and not out of rage

“I-It's okay. W-We were cl-close, b-but i-it was f-four years a-ago," you breathe out, still not able to turn around and face Anonymous. “I-I need to g-g-get over i-it already."

>"Shit, right before you started high school?"

“Y-Yeah. T-The summer before…"

>You wait for another question, but only feel Anon shifting behind you

>You feel two pairs of gentle, stiff arms slip around your scrawny midsection

>Anon pulls you against him, into a hug

>You can feel the rigidity of his whole body against yours

>The sharp angles of a boy, the arc of his body bent over yours

>The gentle fabric of his shirt

>The coarseness of his jeans digging into your back

>You take in a whiff of his cologne, his clean-smelling deodorant, his freshly scrubbed hair and skin

>Your legs go weak, and you dissolve backwards into your friend

>That's right

>You're safe

>He's your friend

>"You know?" Anon's voice is deep and scratchy so close to your ears

>You like the way it sends shivers up and down your body 

>Like little veins of electricity

>You even like the feel of his chin digging into your shoulder flesh

>You just like… him

>"For all the shit you've gone through, you're really strong."

>Your heart sinks in your chest

"I-I-I d-don't th-"

>"It's true," he says in a low, gentle voice, sending more electricity coursing through your nerves. “You're one of the strongest people I know."

>How can he say that, after what your cowardice did — what it continues to do to people?

>But you thank him meekly anyway, hoping he never lets go