Innocence Gone (Ceil's Journey Part V)
By Evan Drake
© 2019, Evan Drake, All Rights Reserved

Cold, brightly decorated walls pressed down to distract and instill calmness. The expensive furniture a gaudy, sickening display of wealth. A lush carpet that drew in one's footpaws, hindering escape. It was little better than a clear jar, meant to give the illusion of freedom but holding its contents in place.

Ceil observed her reflection in the mirror. Grey fur that was once soft and glossy had become dull and wiry. Brown eyes that were once full of life and determination had become listless and uncertain. The face that was once plump and beautiful had now become sunken, the skin taut, making her resemble a walking corpse. She ran a shaking paw through her thinning black hair. She froze at the sight of the scars on her paw, reminding her of where her reckless behavior had gotten her.

            Once an apprentice mage attending the second most prestigious mage's college in Vulpran, she wanted nothing more than being recognized for her achievements than her birth. It was no secret everyone thought she was only there because of her family name—a name she technically didn't deserve as a pup born of adultery. Only her ability to use magic saved her from being thrown out on the street with her mother. She had worked hard, harder than anyone to stand out and prove herself.

            Just as things were looking up, they came crashing down around her faster than she could fix it. First, a combination of too much alcohol and over-exposure to raw concentrated aether caused her to believe an old statue was giving her advice.

            Next, she learned her sister, Deana was hiding something in the dungeons. Instead of holding her curiosity, she investigated and wound up killing Lianea, her sister's lover and the Archmage of the college. Deana was blamed and Ceil watched as the stress at her half-sibling alive.

            Finally, the senior mage, Pernille blamed Ceil for the murder, and her life took a downward spiral from there. She was released from prison for lack of evidence, but the damage had been done. Her family disowned her and stripped her of her name. She was thrown out of the college—not she would've stayed knowing Pernille is the real killer.

            Ceil turned away from the mirror and went back to the bed where her “lover" lay sleeping. The fox's bright red fur and muscled frame had caught the eye of many females, but he chose her, the outcast thrown out of her family. The nobody he could easily control and manipulate. Beautiful as he was, his soul was black as the tips of his ears and arms. He grumbled and shifted in his sleep, kicking off the blanket and revealing his naked form.

            She couldn't believe she had even let him touch her. The scent of their copulation still hung in the air and made her nauseous. Her fur was still sticky and grimy from his sweaty body on top of hers.

            She had heard stories of mages selling themselves to any family who could afford them so they could provide a pup with magical talents. Since mages were practically guaranteed power and status, only the truly desperate were forced to resort to such a thing. But it turned out the practice was more common than she realized especially for low-born mages trying to find a foothold in the world.

            Never had Ceil thought she would become one of them. Forced to sell her body and soul just to scrape by.  But there was little choice for her. She needed status, allies, and power—three things she could no longer get on her own. Her previous family would've seen to that. It was this or meek out an exiguous life in the slums.

            Many mages joined the military when they had nowhere else to go. With her competency in combat magic, it was certainly an option. But when she tried to join, she was told flat out that someone accused of murdering the Archmage would never be allowed in their ranks. It was the same everywhere she went, every other occupation she sought out. Word had spread about her and there was nowhere in Vulpran for her to go.

            Ceil stood over the bed, staring down at the soon-to-be father of her first pup. It wasn't until that moment the night before, the first time their bodies were entwined, the first time she felt him release his seed inside her, that reality of her situation had sunk in. That she realized what she had become. That she realized how far gone she had gone.

            She needed the money, it was her only way of getting out of here. She needed enough to buy passage to Canius or Lupra and to start a life there. She just hoped it would be enough to satisfy her family so they would not send assassins after her.

            “Can't sleep?" Lafiel rolled over and opened his eyes, the black orbs shining in the moonlight.

            She continued to look down at him with no emotion. “No."

            Lafiel grinned and rolled over on his back. “Shame. I thought I had more proficiency than that." He cupped himself as he turned back to her, black eyes carrying a predacious hunger. “Unless you want me to try again?"

            Ceil huffed and turned her back to him earning a chuckle from him.

            “I'll take that as a 'no'." A brief silence, then he asked. “You hate me, don't you?"

            “Yes," Ceil wanted to say. She hated him and everything about him. He knew why she was there. But she didn't say it because it didn't matter. Her feelings toward him didn't matter just like his feelings for her. He saw her as only a means to an end and made no efforts to hide it. The feeling was mutual. Once he got what he wanted, she would have her coin and be gone.

            She felt nothing for the pup she was going to leave behind. Once she would've cared. There was a time when family meant everything. Where she would've endured any form of pain to protect those she cared for.

            But that previous night, her first time in Lafiel's bed, she realized those feelings were only going to hold her back. There was no room for sentimentality in the world.

            “No," Ceil said. “And I think I will take you up on that offer after all."

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