> Be Eridan Ampora

You are Eridan Ampora. Aristocrat of the highest blood caliber, toppled by only one other, and a destiny-decreed Prince of Hope. A suave and charismatic troll, with a distinct fascination with the wizardly aesthetic, such as yourself is surely constantly surrounded, admired and, at times, even worshiped by the low blood plebians that infest this meteor. 

Sadly, it seems as if the commoners have collectively forgotten their place in the hierarchy and would rather follow the commands of some nubby-horned loser than a true leader, tactician and historian, versed in the arts of battle, deception, subterfuge and marksmanship. 

Even worse, Feferi, the aforementioned one who stands above you in the hemospectrum, has full heartedly joined the traitorous ranks in gallivanting around, playing games and trolling some aliens from the next universe over. 

It sickens you.

It sickens you to no end. 

No one pays any attention to you at all. It’s like you are invisible.

Your former kismesis Vriska has completely forgotten about you. And your once moirail, and the one and true matesprit of your thump tortoise, Feferi has no intentions of ever giving you the time of day, after deciding to abdicate her duty.

Even when you try basic communication, it is mostly ignored amongst the inhabitants of this forsaken rock.

Life is lonely. It’s lonely and hard and nobody understands. 

Nobody understands the feeling of being constantly alone and unwanted.

It’s actually very sad. 

Most days you are on the verge of a breakdown. Longing for the touch or even attention of another living being. This goes beyond your ingrained social fear of death by the hands of the imperial drones. 

You would do anything to feel somebody beside you. 

Anything.

And as luck would have it, by some odd miracle, while you are working on your science wand, pondering over the mysteries of life and death and all that lies in between and beyond, Feferi happens upon your workshop.

Confused, but thanking whatever clown god that tool worships, you lift up your goggles and say

“Hey…”

“)(ey” she answers with a bright smile.

“Umm…wwhat can I do you for, Fef?”

“I was just wondering, )(ow you were doing. It’s been so long since anyone has sean you.”

Maybe they would have “sean” you if any of them cared enough to come by. Whatever. You choose to remain silent, cementing your stoic attitude.

“Aren’t you lonely, --Eridan?” she asks with a sultry voice.

You don’t answer. It’s none of her damn business anyway.

“Surrounded by your mac)(ines and thoug)(ts of omnicide, don’t you ever eel t)(e need for companions)(ip?”

Holding back an answers seems much harder this time around, but you still manage it. You are a strong leader, unmoved by any and all verbal approaches. You take your time, deciding when and what to say, if you will even say anything at all. And her fish puns don’t really jive with you all that much at the moment. 

“----Eridan, do you miss me?”

“Wwhat? Me? Miss you? That’s a laugh!” you say as you let out a fake laugh. “Wwhy? You havve something in mind?”

She giggles, the same way she has always giggled. The way that makes your blood pumper throb harder and faster. 

“Glub…” she says with a seductive tone of voice. 

You can’t be completely sure, but you have the feeling that you just might be blushing. Usually unfitting for a royal of your stature, but this time around you can make an exception.

“--------Eridan, I miss the oceans of Alternia. The warm currents, the flowing creatures, the beautiful colors, the pressure of the water on my body.”

She sure has a way of talking about water. It’s actually making you feel all hot and bothered. Not that you would admit that. Then again, the way she is talking, really brings back hope in you. 

“I miss the piss, --Eridan.”

Hold up.

“I miss the fish piss everywhere. An ocean filled with water and salt and minerals and fish piss. So muc)( piss. All of the piss. I miss it, -Eridan. I miss the piss. I miss all the piss. All of it.”

This is taking a turn you were not prepared for.

“Don’t you miss the ocean too?”

“Wwell…not in the same wway-“

“Would you do me a favor, my Prince of )(ope?”

“Umm…”

“Would you piss yourself for me?”

This is not how you expected your day to go. Between genocidal day dreams, theoretical innovations in the field of practical war crimes, feeling sorry for yourself and cozy FLARP lore books, being asked to piss yourself by your crush was probably the last thing you expected.

“I beg you, -----Eridan! You are the only ot)(er sea-dweller )(ere. You are the closest t)(ing to fish piss I can get! I’m begging you! I will do any and everyt)(ing for your if you just do this one t)(ing for me! Please! Oh, please piss yourself, my prince!”

“A-anythin?”

“Absolutely…anyt)(ing…”

This is it. You are on the verge of finally getting almost anything you ever wanted. Enough so that it just might subdue your rage. And all you have to do is simply piss yourself. 

Just.

Piss.

Yourself.

The more your think about it, the weirder it sounds.

But then again, wet pants is a small price to pay for the chance to fulfill every sexual desire you ever had with girl you love. Right?

Sure, it sounds a bit weird, but the poor girl is homesick. And it would be the gentlemanly thing to do in a situation like this. 

Besides, you go to relieve your liquefied toxicity evacuation gland. You do that all the time. Only this time around, you have to do it with your pants on. In front of someone else. You can do it. You’re a tough solider. All you have to do it push and…

“Oh, Gog…you reelly did it, didn’t you?”

You are now soaking wet, drenched in your piss. The way Feferi answered, you have a distinct feeling that this may not have been your best idea.

“Wwell? I did wwhat you asked. Can we actually…you know…maybe-“

“Oh, no. No, no, no.” she says with a shit-eating smirk. “I reelly can’t believe you did this. What a dork. )(ey, guys! I told you can make )(im do it!”

Your face flushes purple with embarrassment and the sudden realization of what has just transpired. Here you are. Standing in the middle of your room with the girl you like and you just pissed yourself.

“Fef, I-“

“Don’t “Fef” me. I can’t believe you are such a tool. Are you really that desperate for sex? What a loser!”

“I-“

“It’s a bit cute in the most pitiful way possible! You’re like a big baby, doing anything for attention.”

“I’m not a baby…” you manage to murmur.

“I don’t know about t)(at, you sure look like one right now.”

“I..AM NOT…A BABY!” you yell out.

You’ve had it! You are just about ready to jump and grab your science wand! To Hell with this girl and her bullshit humiliation fetish! You are a mighty warlord and you WILL NOT BE TREATED LIKE THIS!

“Is the poor baby going to cry? I know just w)(at to do 38D. Oh, Aradia!”

The iron ghost in a can enters the room. You see that behind are standing almost the entire populace of the asteroid. All of them laughing at your expense. 

“Yes Feferi?” the robot speaks out with an ethereal, dead voice.

“Would you please take care of this baby for me? )(e’s acting up a bit.”

“I AM NOT A BA-WHOAH!”

Aradia quickly grabs you and pulls down your pants, revealing your troll genitals to everybody around. Without wasting anytime she puts you on her knee and starts spanking you furiously, to the excitement and laughter of all to see. 

Each hit from the metallic hand makes you jump and twitch. He hand being cold doesn’t make any of this any better. You try to protest, but nothing deters the robot from her mission.

After about twenty hits, your spinal crevice is completely sore and purple. Aradia picks you up and produces and diaper.

“Oh, no! That thin is not going on me!”

“Please be reas0nable baby. This is for your own good.”

“I KEEP TELLIN YOU, I AM NOT A BABY!”

“Be quiet, baby” Feferi chimes in.

You look towards the high blood, ready to lose your shit and right at that moment Aradia turns you upside down, wipes you in mere seconds and puts the diaper on you.

“Aren’t you just the cutest, little thing?” Feferi wiggles her finger at you. “I can just eat you up!”

“FUCK YOU, YOU INSUFFERABLE BITCH!”

“38O”

“Such language Is not appr0priate baby. Y0u need a time 0ut.”

“I wwant to see you try, you rusted bucket of bolts!” you scream back at Aradia.

“He is getting very grumpy.” Feferi says with a sly smile. “You better keep him in there for a while.”

Aradia pulls you to the other side of the room. You try to fight her, but there is no use, as she overpowers you with such ease each time you try to push yourself off or twist her hand in any sort of way. 

Try as you might, her plan comes to fruition. She sticks you inside a closet and locks the door. You start banging and banging, yelling every obscenity you can think of, but there is no answer. Finally, when your throat is too sore, you stop and you sit down on the ground. 

Time passes and there are no signs of anyone planning on letting you out. This can’t really be happening, can it?

You start to bash the door and scream once more and there’s nothing. 

You get hungry. And later on the hunger settles down. It comes back and again it vanishes.

You don’t know how much you’ve spent in the closet, but you are sure it has been days since they put you there. 

Finally, you can’t take it anymore and you piss yourself again. This time out of pure necessity. Completely humiliated, hungry and wet, you bash at the door once more.

“Please! Let me out! I AM a baby! A big baby, that needs to be fed and changed! Please!” 

The door unlocks and Aradia takes you in her arms. She carefully changes your diaper as the whole crew watches. 

But you don’t care. You are happy to be out of the closet and out of those wet diapers. 

As you lay on the table you hear a snap. You look down to find that Aradia has put some sort of belt on you.

“Wwhat is this?”

“Its a chastity belt.”

“Wwhat’s it for? I havven’t needed one of those till now.”

“Babies d0n’t have sex so there is n0 reas0 why y0u c0uldnt wear one.”

You want to say something, but by this point you are too tired and you are ready to play along with anything. 

Aradia picks you up and carries you through the crowd.

“Y0uve been stuck f0r a l0ng time” she says “y0u need s0me exercise.”

She puts you in a baby bouncer. Strangely enough, it doesn’t feel all that bad. At the feeling of humiliation is gone.

You jump in your bouncer and with each jump you feel better about yourself. They can laugh all they want, but you’ve never felt better. For the first time since you can remember, you feel happy. 

“You reelly are the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen.” Feferi says as she pinches your cheek, to which you just smile and make an indistinguishable sound.

“Time f0r dinner little Eridan” Aradia says as she pulls you out of the bouncer.

She rocks you back and forth and gives you a bottle with milk. Since you are a big enough boy, you hold it with both hands, as your eyes close and the laughter around you subdues.

Aradia’s last words echo in your head as you completely fall asleep.

“Y0u really are a preci0us little thing”