I stumbled across the last sidewalk and onto the park grass, dim in the half-moonlight. My head was spinning, and my ears couldn’t be rid of a high-pitched whine. I needed to find Mark. I had literally been torn away from the wolf I… cared about, torn and told we could never be together.

I paused to orient myself, running my hand through my tidy hair. Colder and darker than the fall chill, a shiver grew, creeping up my spine. Why was it so difficult to gauge my surroundings? Oh yeah, I’d been hit by some random car, fleeing my parents’ house. It made sense my head would be strange.

We’d been caught. It was miraculous no one had found out about us before tonight. Mark’s pack had to have at least an inkling of what had been growing between the big wolf and I for weeks. Mark’s Beta, Sett, knew for sure. We’d been lucky dodging any other notice.

My police officer cousin, Lux, had brought me to my parents when he’d caught me kissing my anthro-wolf boyfriend, Mark. Not my fault we lived in a small town, where any rumor spun out of control. In and beyond town, terrible things happened to anyone too friendly with the ‘wildlife’. The mayor’s son dating a second-class citizen would cause a career-damaging scandal.

I headed for the rear of Hazel’s Park, past the area maintained for tourists. Bushes had overgrown the rear of the park, and the city budget, strapped for cash had not been able to keep up with the mess. Mark would be there at the forgotten bench, waiting in our sanctuary, worrying. I knew he would.

I shook my head, causing me to stumble. I wanted to be rid of the dizzying whine. I wanted to not remember how Mom had looked offended, and how Dad had looked at me with a deep, terrible disgust. They had brought up what must have sounded to them like valid points, but my pained heart twisted with each misconceived one.

We were different species, and it was against all that was holy and right in the world to be together. A wolf could never love a human; it wasn’t possible in their animal-like minds. I was being used to gain local influence by the anthros, who would always be second-class citizens. Bad enough to be gay, but to find out their gay son was ‘involved’ with a wolf?! We would never be accepted by any community, anywhere.

Why had each argument Mom and Dad brought up poked at my own insecurities? Why couldn’t they just butt out of my life? I felt crushed by the weight of their words. My own angry arguments had been cut off before I could finish.

My eyes stung with angry tears in the chill of night. Mom had referred to Mark as part of the local ‘wildlife’, an anti-anthro slur. The final straw, however, had been when Dad informed me I’d be leaving for South Dakota in the morning to learn to be a ‘real man’ on my great-aunt’s farm. There was no way I’d go that far without Mark.

I clenched my eyes and tried to recall the way to our secret place, where a ruined bench sat in a tiny clearing amidst the rampant overgrowth. My clothes felt funny as I moved, how strange to notice. How strange was it to have such difficulty remembering my way to such a familiar place? We had gone there so many times watching birds and each other, had shared our first kiss.

My legs didn’t work right. Sure, I was still walking, but I felt more like I was floating. I hurt, hurt so bad, but I knew my family would call in whatever favors they needed to hunt me down. My dad was the mayor of Treemark, Virginia, and he wasn’t about to let his son get involved with the son of a stone-working wolf. Dad would call his brother, the police department sergeant to get me back under control.

I was through being controlled. I was through dealing with the smirks of my classmates in school as I lived in my popular older brother’s shadow. I wanted no more of the tensions between the anthros and the humans in school. I just wanted to be with my boyfriend. I wanted to bask in his warmth and his presence. How was that so wrong?

I knew where to meet him, the flame of a wolf who had lit the fire inside my closed heart. He’d said to “meet at our sanctuary” as I’d been removed by my stupid cop cousin.

Ugh. Nauseous. I pushed through the overgrowth, panting and calling for him… but there was no answer. My brow furrowed. How could he not be there? This was where we had always met; had he not been able to make it? I got close enough to see the bench, but in the weak light from the half moon, I couldn’t see him.

“Mark?” I whispered, scared that something had happened to him. “It’s Jesse.”

Silence. The half-collapsed bench looked strange in the dim light and deep shadows. It always did, but it looked stranger still, lumpy. Wait! It was Mark, slumped at the base of the bench, misshaping the shadows until he was nearly unrecognizable against it. He wasn’t moving.

I struggled free of the undergrowth and wobbled forward, my hands trembling in the night air. “Mark?” I whispered, approaching.

He didn’t move or respond. I knelt next to him, noticing something dark staining the bottom of his jaw. I touched the stain with shaking, numb fingers, and they came away coated in… blood?

My heart stalled in a chest already burdened by pain. He was dead?! Right here in front of me, he was dead, and I was alone in the world. The only person I’d ever managed to feel close with, the only one who I felt I could be myself, who accepted me as I was. He was the one who had seen my faults and shown me his. He was gone.

A strange keening sound wailed through the brush and the trees above. It took me a surreal moment to realize it was me. My body hurt from getting hit by a car, but my heart seared with a far greater pain. This wolf was gone. He was gone and could never be regained. I placed my shaking hand on his chest, fur covered by his fall jacket.

I didn’t want to be alone. I’d felt alone for so long, and he’d been the one to show me how good it felt to connect with someone. I’d never open myself up to another connection. Ever. I couldn’t bare my heart, my very being, to someone again. I didn’t want to live. Maybe I’d die from these injuries. Maybe I would die of hypothermia out here. Maybe-

I felt a shudder beneath my palm. The jacket rose beneath my hand, pushing it up and out as the wolf gasped.

“Mark?” I breathed, daring my voice to crack under the pressure of hope. I placed my other hand on him too, thrilling to acknowledge the movement underneath.

“Jesse?” came the raspy response. He coughed, my hand feeling the unsteady breaths he took.

I fisted my hands into his jacket. “Mark!” I wailed, collapsing onto him but righting myself again in pain with a gasp which interrupted my wail of relief. My arm went unbidden to my side, protecting my chest. When had I started to hurt so bad?

“I fell asleep. Your cousin and his friends-” He coughed again, then blinked at me. “Are you okay?” he reached out to touch my arm, sending sparks into my soul.

I nodded and clung to him, just wanting to feel his life with me. He wrapped an arm around my back and leaned into my warmth, groaning in pain. I stayed silent through mine, as my greater pain was healing by seconds. Dared I call this love? Yes, somehow through any pain I would.

Some quiet time with my wolf later, I heard people calling my name. Dad had pulled strings and sent an actual search party out for me. Great. Footsteps approached, and Mark pulled us into nearby undergrowth as I did my best not to cry out. I clenched my eyes tight, drawing in his scent and trying to ignore the sharp pain in my side and the growing discomfort in my head.

“Jesse!” called a man, entering the tiny clearing. It took another call of my name for me to recognize my cousin Lux, who had ripped me away from Mark earlier. No way was he going to do it twice. Lux came closer. He would see us! The overgrowth wasn’t deep enough!

Mark squeezed me tight, and I felt his chest vibrate beneath me in a silent growl. I closed my eyes and didn’t move, burying my nose into his big, scent-filled jacket. I missed Lux leaving. Somehow, he was gone, and we were alone again.

In the din moonlight, Mark stroked my hair and told me how wonderful it was he had met me. When he had first seen me at the graveyard on Halloween night in my werewolf costume, he’d never have guessed we could become so close. He apologized, as he had before, for making me run laps around the graveyard with his pack snapping at me from behind. His voice faded in and out, sometimes making sense to me, sometimes not. I did catch the next though.

“That disgusting, fake tail caused you to trip when your ‘friends’ ran, otherwise, I don’t think any of this would have happened., he sounded thoughtful. “Guess I should be thankful for those horrible wolf-pants,” he laughed.

I loosed a faint chuckle too. It had been a strange Halloween costume.

When my mind managed to focus again, I caught, “I got to know you. We were so different and yet, so much alike, I didn’t know what to do with you.”

When my only response was a whimper, he sat us both up. I lost the little control I had on my stomach and vomited all over him. While I groaned in horrible embarrassment and pain, his voice was worried. Why couldn’t I understand him? So tired.

The world spun again, and I was moving over the ground, floating in wolfy arms. The world made less sense and slowly disappeared.

***

The room smelled like our old first aid kit. Worried voices were all around. Beeping and yells. I wanted to protest, but my eyes wouldn’t open. Things calmed down, and some time later, I managed to halfway open my eyes.

Mark was asleep in a chair, leaning onto my hospital bed. His large head rested near my arm, and my hand was clutched in his warm paw. A glance around the room showed me a strange sight. My parents were speaking with three wolves. Mark’s Beta, Sett, was one of them; his typical look of dislike for me was absent on his concerned face. The other two were… Mark’s parents? All five seemed to be getting along, even giving each other hesitant smiles. Who?

I shifted and groaned, tension rising. My parents! They would send me away; they would keep me away from Mark. Six heads turned towards me, one of them the young wolf on the blanket, rising with a look of unhidden relief.

“I’ll get the nurse,” Mom said, stepping out of the room.

When Mom came back with a nurse, I realized those closest to us were in attendance. I glanced down at Mark, but he smiled and gave my hand a firm squeeze and a kiss - right there in front of everybody! From his smile and eyes, I knew. Everything would be okay.

I squeezed Mark’s paw, holding him dear in my hand and in my heart. Dared I love this wolf? Yes, I dared.