I stumbled across
the last sidewalk and onto the park grass, dim in the half-moonlight.
My head was spinning, and my ears couldn’t be rid of a high-pitched
whine. I needed to find Mark. I had literally been torn away from the
wolf I… cared about, torn and told we could never be together.

I paused to orient
myself, running my hand through my tidy hair. Colder and darker than
the fall chill, a shiver grew, creeping up my spine. Why was it so
difficult to gauge my surroundings? Oh yeah, I’d been hit by some
random car, fleeing my parents’ house. It made sense my head would
be strange.

We’d been caught.
It was miraculous no one had found out about us before tonight.
Mark’s pack had to have at least an inkling of what had been
growing between the big wolf and I for weeks. Mark’s Beta, Sett,
knew for sure. We’d been lucky dodging any other notice.

My police officer
cousin, Lux, had brought me to my parents when he’d caught me
kissing my anthro-wolf boyfriend, Mark. Not my fault we lived in a
small town, where any rumor spun out of control. In and beyond town,
terrible things happened to anyone too friendly with the ‘wildlife’.
The mayor’s son dating a second-class citizen would cause a
career-damaging scandal.

I headed for the
rear of Hazel’s Park, past the area maintained for tourists. Bushes
had overgrown the rear of the park, and the city budget, strapped for
cash had not been able to keep up with the mess. Mark would be there
at the forgotten bench, waiting in our sanctuary, worrying. I knew he
would.

I shook my head,
causing me to stumble. I wanted to be rid of the dizzying whine. I
wanted to not remember how Mom had looked offended, and how Dad had
looked at me with a deep, terrible disgust. They had brought up what
must have sounded to them like valid points, but my pained heart
twisted with each misconceived one.

We were different
species, and it was against all that was holy and right in the world
to be together. A wolf could never love a human; it wasn’t possible
in their animal-like minds. I was being used to gain local influence
by the anthros, who would always be second-class citizens. Bad enough
to be gay, but to find out their gay son was ‘involved’ with a
wolf?! We would never be accepted by any community, anywhere.

Why had each
argument Mom and Dad brought up poked at my own insecurities? Why
couldn’t they just butt out of my life? I felt crushed by the
weight of their words. My own angry arguments had been cut off before
I could finish.

My eyes stung with
angry tears in the chill of night. Mom had referred to Mark as part
of the local ‘wildlife’, an anti-anthro slur. The final straw,
however, had been when Dad informed me I’d be leaving for South
Dakota in the morning to learn to be a ‘real man’ on my
great-aunt’s farm. There was no way I’d go that far without Mark.

I clenched my eyes
and tried to recall the way to our secret place, where a ruined bench
sat in a tiny clearing amidst the rampant overgrowth. My clothes felt
funny as I moved, how strange to notice. How strange was it to have
such difficulty remembering my way to such a familiar place? We had
gone there so many times watching birds and each other, had shared
our first kiss.

My legs didn’t
work right. Sure, I was still walking, but I felt more like I was
floating. I hurt, hurt so bad, but I knew my family would call in
whatever favors they needed to hunt me down. My dad was the mayor of
Treemark, Virginia, and he wasn’t about to let his son get involved
with the son of a stone-working wolf. Dad would call his brother, the
police department sergeant to get me back under control.

I was through being
controlled. I was through dealing with the smirks of my classmates in
school as I lived in my popular older brother’s shadow. I wanted no
more of the tensions between the anthros and the humans in school. I
just wanted to be with my boyfriend. I wanted to bask in his warmth
and his presence. How was that so wrong?

I knew where to meet
him, the flame of a wolf who had lit the fire inside my closed heart.
He’d said to “meet at our sanctuary” as I’d been removed by
my stupid cop cousin.

Ugh. Nauseous. I
pushed through the overgrowth, panting and calling for him… but
there was no answer. My brow furrowed. How could he not be there?
This was where we had always met; had he not been able to make it? I
got close enough to see the bench, but in the weak light from the
half moon, I couldn’t see him.

“Mark?” I
whispered, scared that something had happened to him. “It’s
Jesse.”

Silence. The
half-collapsed bench looked strange in the dim light and deep
shadows. It always did, but it looked stranger still, lumpy. Wait! It
was Mark, slumped at the base of the bench, misshaping the shadows
until he was nearly unrecognizable against it. He wasn’t moving.

I struggled free of
the undergrowth and wobbled forward, my hands trembling in the night
air. “Mark?” I whispered, approaching.

He didn’t move or
respond. I knelt next to him, noticing something dark staining the
bottom of his jaw. I touched the stain with shaking, numb fingers,
and they came away coated in… blood?

My heart stalled in
a chest already burdened by pain. He was dead?! Right here in front
of me, he was dead, and I was alone in the world. The only person I’d
ever managed to feel close with, the only one who I felt I could be
myself, who accepted me as I was. He was the one who had seen my
faults and shown me his. He was gone.

A strange keening
sound wailed through the brush and the trees above. It took me a
surreal moment to realize it was me. My body hurt from getting hit by
a car, but my heart seared with a far greater pain. This wolf was
gone. He was gone and could never be regained. I placed my shaking
hand on his chest, fur covered by his fall jacket.

I didn’t want to
be alone. I’d felt alone for so long, and he’d been the one to
show me how good it felt to connect with someone. I’d never open
myself up to another connection. Ever. I couldn’t bare my heart, my
very being, to someone again. I didn’t want to live. Maybe I’d
die from these injuries. Maybe I would die of hypothermia out here.
Maybe-

I felt a shudder
beneath my palm. The jacket rose beneath my hand, pushing it up and
out as the wolf gasped.

“Mark?” I
breathed, daring my voice to crack under the pressure of hope. I
placed my other hand on him too, thrilling to acknowledge the
movement underneath.

“Jesse?” came
the raspy response. He coughed, my hand feeling the unsteady breaths
he took.

I fisted my hands
into his jacket. “Mark!” I wailed, collapsing onto him but
righting myself again in pain with a gasp which interrupted my wail
of relief. My arm went unbidden to my side, protecting my chest. When
had I started to hurt so bad?

“I fell asleep.
Your cousin and his friends-” He coughed again, then blinked at me.
“Are you okay?” he reached out to touch my arm, sending sparks
into my soul.

I nodded and clung
to him, just wanting to feel his life with me. He wrapped an arm
around my back and leaned into my warmth, groaning in pain. I stayed
silent through mine, as my greater pain was healing by seconds. Dared
I call this love? Yes, somehow through any pain I would.

Some quiet time with
my wolf later, I heard people calling my name. Dad had pulled strings
and sent an actual search party out for me. Great. Footsteps
approached, and Mark pulled us into nearby undergrowth as I did my
best not to cry out. I clenched my eyes tight, drawing in his scent
and trying to ignore the sharp pain in my side and the growing
discomfort in my head.

“Jesse!” called
a man, entering the tiny clearing. It took another call of my name
for me to recognize my cousin Lux, who had ripped me away from Mark
earlier. No way was he going to do it twice. Lux came closer. He
would see us! The overgrowth wasn’t deep enough!

Mark squeezed me
tight, and I felt his chest vibrate beneath me in a silent growl. I
closed my eyes and didn’t move, burying my nose into his big,
scent-filled jacket. I missed Lux leaving. Somehow, he was gone, and
we were alone again.

In the din
moonlight, Mark stroked my hair and told me how wonderful it was he
had met me. When he had first seen me at the graveyard on Halloween
night in my werewolf costume, he’d never have guessed we could
become so close. He apologized, as he had before, for making me run
laps around the graveyard with his pack snapping at me from behind.
His voice faded in and out, sometimes making sense to me, sometimes
not. I did catch the next though.

“That disgusting,
fake tail caused you to trip when your ‘friends’ ran, otherwise,
I don’t think any of this would have happened., he sounded
thoughtful. “Guess I should be thankful for those horrible
wolf-pants,” he laughed.

I loosed a faint
chuckle too. It had been a strange Halloween costume.

When my mind managed
to focus again, I caught, “I got to know you. We were so different
and yet, so much alike, I didn’t know what to do with you.”

When my only
response was a whimper, he sat us both up. I lost the little control
I had on my stomach and vomited all over him. While I groaned in
horrible embarrassment and pain, his voice was worried. Why couldn’t
I understand him? So tired.

The world spun
again, and I was moving over the ground, floating in wolfy arms. The
world made less sense and slowly disappeared.

***

The room smelled
like our old first aid kit. Worried voices were all around. Beeping
and yells. I wanted to protest, but my eyes wouldn’t open. Things
calmed down, and some time later, I managed to halfway open my eyes.

Mark was asleep in a
chair, leaning onto my hospital bed. His large head rested near my
arm, and my hand was clutched in his warm paw. A glance around the
room showed me a strange sight. My parents were speaking with three
wolves. Mark’s Beta, Sett, was one of them; his typical look of
dislike for me was absent on his concerned face. The other two were…
Mark’s parents? All five seemed to be getting along, even giving
each other hesitant smiles. Who?

I shifted and
groaned, tension rising. My parents! They would send me away; they
would keep me away from Mark. Six heads turned towards me, one of
them the young wolf on the blanket, rising with a look of unhidden
relief.

“I’ll get the
nurse,” Mom said, stepping out of the room.

When Mom came back
with a nurse, I realized those closest to us were in attendance. I
glanced down at Mark, but he smiled and gave my hand a firm squeeze
and a kiss - right there in front of everybody! From his smile and
eyes, I knew. Everything would be okay.

I squeezed Mark’s
paw, holding him dear in my hand and in my heart. Dared I love this
wolf? Yes, I dared.