To Tame The Soul.

By Wolfie Steel.

In my youth I was someone that people didn’t like very much, a jock, a nasty one at that, a Doberman full of muscle and malice, I would regularly pick fights with those that I saw as weaklings. I remember one such bullying session; a Husky had crossed my path and had accidentally knocked the ball that I was spinning off my finger.

I look back on that memory and even now I cringe at the thought of what I did next, I gave the Husky, whose name I didn't even know, a hefty shove and he went head long into a concrete wall, I can still hear the breaking of the bone in his nose, it keeps me awake most nights, I guess you can say that it is my just deserts.

I’m happy to report that I am no longer a bully; in fact I’m quite the opposite, I guess you could call me a minder, when people are in trouble or being bullied, they call on me, and I do everything within my power to sort things out.

Oh sure, there are times when I get my paws bloody, but that is now a last resort for me, by the way my name is Lance Caldwell, yes in my youth I was expelled from many schools, it actually got to the point where my parents were considering having me put into a psychiatric hospital, in point of fact they had already made an appointment with the doctors.

But then, a week before the appointment something happened that cured me of my bullying ways. I’m not proud of myself, but I pushed one guy, a Horse by the name of Simon James, too far, and he bit back, I was always taking his packed lunch from him, or stealing his money, or hiding his clothes, then one day I noticed he was looking at a photograph and he had tears in his eyes.

Well to me, tears were a sign of weakness and I was determined to make his day even worse, and so, I ran up to him and snatched the photograph from his hands, I then ran off to the parking area and hid the photograph in the glove box of my car, even though I was quite a distance away from the Horse I could still hear his pained screams.

It didn’t even interest me what the subject of the photograph was, it was something personal to him, and so I had to have it. I got pulled into the principal’s office for that one, but refused to tell them where I had hidden it.

Fate has a nasty way of paying you back though, it was a Friday, three weeks after I had taken the photograph, again I had been as nasty as ever that day, but hey, nothing new there. I get back to my car and put the key in the ignition, I turn the key and nothing. It seems that the battery is flat and so I guess I’m walking home tonight.

I am walking on the pavement about half a mile away from home when I hear the sound of an engine racing and the sound is getting louder, I turn my head to see what is going on, just in time to see a car heading straight for me.

I end up being thrown up onto the bonnet of the car and then the inertia carries me over the roof and off the back of the car, to end up lying in the middle of the pavement, blood pouring from various injuries.

This was no hit and run though, the guy stops and then gets out of the car, he walks towards me, and the last thing I can see is the fact that it is the Horse whose photograph I took. I let out a whimper as he gets closer, I can see the angry tears in his eyes, and then suddenly he kicks me, hard. Blackness consumes me as I pass out.

I wake up in hospital, how long have I been there, well according to the police officer that was there I have been in hospital for a week, he also tells me that the Horse turned himself in after the crash and was now in prison serving a two year sentence for attempted vehicular manslaughter.

A pang of guilt flows through my body as the officer tells me this and I know that I have gone too far this time; I have caused a guy who is obviously upset over something to end up in prison. The doctor walks into my room.

“Well Mr. Caldwell, you got away pretty lightly considering you were thrown over a car, you have a fractured left shoulder, a broken hip where the car first made contact which we have pinned, and you had a pretty nasty bump on the head, oh and two broken ribs, all of these injuries will heal in time, probably between eight to ten weeks, I will keep you in hospital for another week for observation and then you will be free to head home”

With that the doctor leaves my room, leaving me with just the police officer, it is at this point that I feel as though I just want to die, how could I have caused a once mild mannered Horse to try to kill me?

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Six months later and most of my injuries have healed, but I know that there is one that will never heal, the mental injury. I find out which prison the Horse is at and I decide to start writing to him. At first as you can expect he does not respond, but I keep sending the letters.

Then one day, about twelve months after the accident I get a reply from him, okay it is pretty obvious from his letter that he hates my guts, I know that I stole a photograph from him, but surely it wouldn’t cause him to want me dead.

It’s then that I remember that the photograph is still in the glove compartment of my car and so I retrieve it and finally I look at it, the photograph is that of a female Horse, I’m guessing it is Simon’s mother. I write a reply back to Simon stating that I still have the photograph and asking what made him flip over it.

A week later and another letter arrives from Simon, it is then that my heart begins to break, in the letter he tells me that the photograph is that of his mother, who had died just three days before I snatched the picture.

At the moment of reading that I felt like the lowest of the low, my paws begin to shake as I hold the letter, my eyes begin to fill with tears, you see I know how it feels to lose my mother, I lost mine when I was just six years old.

I know at that point that I have to try and make things right, I send him another letter asking him if he will allow me visitation rights so that I may return his treasured photograph. Two weeks later I get the reply that I was waiting for, and so on a cold and damp Monday morning I drive to the prison for the most important visit that I will ever make with someone.

I sit at the table waiting for the Horse to be led into the room, five minutes later, I look up and see him being brought to the table, he sits down in the seat and I can tell that he has close to given up on life, his eyes are bloodshot, and his hair is unkempt, oh gods how could I have done this to him?

“Simon, I know that you still hate me with every fibre of your being, and I really can’t blame you for that, but I wanted to try and set things right, I know that it is too late for you to ever forgive me, but I wanted to bring back the photograph that you treasure so much, and for what it is worth, I am sorry for the pain that I caused you”

I gently put my paw into my jacket pocket and pull out the photograph, I place it on the table and then slide it across to him, he picks up the photograph and looks at it, tears fill his eyes again and there is the feint sign of a smile on his muzzle.

“Mr. Caldwell, I do forgive you, I mean how could I not, I ran you down with my car for god’s sake, it means a lot to me that you have returned my mother’s photo, it is one of the only things that I have left to remind me of her, I’m just glad that I have it back, and that I didn’t actually kill you, because then I would not have got the photo back, and I would have been looking at a bigger sentence in this dump”

Suddenly the bell sounds to announce the end of visiting hours, I hang my head and my ears droop as the Horse is led away again, he shouldn’t be in here, and if it weren’t for me he wouldn’t be. I stand from my chair and walk back out to my car, I then sit in the driver’s seat deep in thought, I then come to a decision, I’m going to change my life and change my ways.

Simon and I still keep in touch, in fact we are great friends now, and we go out for drinks most every week, it was Simon that came up with the idea for me to use my muscles in a good way and set up as a minder, it’s funny how ironic it is, I am a re-formed bully watching out for people who are being bullied.