\n
\n Jake laughed out loud and threw the used tissue at Kip, narrowly missing him. "Jerk."

\n "Asshole." Kip shot back.

\n Tension broken, the two friends finished their food and decided that Jake's apartment would be the logical place to spend the night. He had a sleeper sofa, and Kip's guest bed would probably have collapsed under Jake's weight anyway. On the way out to the truck, Kip shared one more thing with Jake. "I might as well tell you something else." he said. He was so tired and emotionally drawn out that this was probably the only time he could have shared this with the other man.

\n "What?" Jake said, engrossed with the task of pulling a shred of meat from between his front teeth with a toothpick.

\n Kip screwed up his courage and, after telling himself one last time that he had nothing to lose, blurted, "I'm gay." 

\n "I know," Jake said, with a grin. "Not that you're a flaming fag or anything, but I knew." He waited a beat before saying, "You know what?"

\n "What?" answered Kip.

\n "I don't care."

\n  

\n
\n They pulled into Jake's apartment complex and drove to the back of the lot. Killing the engine, Jake sat for a moment before speaking. "This has been a really long, really weird day." he said, before climbing out of the truck.

\n Jake was halfway around when he heard the sound of the passenger door opening. He hustled the remaining ten feet, and was there in time to keep Kip from almost falling out of the cab. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

\n "I'm not made of porcelain," Kip shot back. "I can do it myself."

\n "No, you can't," Jake said, "you just about fell on your face. Now let me help you, damn it, or so help me, I'll pick you up and carry you inside.

\n Kip knew that Jake was serious about carrying him, and although that might have been fun, it would not have set the appropriate precedent. He did have some small amount of dignity left to him, after all, and he intended to hang onto it. "Okay, fine. But at least let me pretend that I'm not helpless, okay?"

\n Jake's apartment was all the way at the back of the complex, and as they walked to his door, Kip could see that it overlooked a small stream that babbled over waterworn rocks. The inside wasn't particularly impressive in any way. Maybe a bit cleaner than Kip had expected, but it didn't show much personality. Since he couldn't comment on the decorating, he settled on something else. "I'll bet you've got a great view back here," he said, looking out the large living room windows.

\n "It's pretty nice," Jake agreed, He opened the sliding glass door, letting the cool breeze blow in. The sound of running water came in with the breeze. "When the sun's out you can see the river, and there's a flock of ducks that likes to hang out down there. It's peaceful, and the rent's right."

\n Jake turned on the television, and Kip noticed that it was tuned to one of the college ESPN channels. "Thank God," he joked, "If you'd turned that thing on and it was set to a home decorating channel, I would have fallen out." There were two recliners and a small table facing the television, and Kip sat down in the chair that looked less worn, figuring that the other one would be Jake's. Both chairs were oversized to accommodate bigger frames than his own and he felt a bit silly, like a child sitting in a chair meant for adults.

\n "Not much chance of that happening," Jake said, pointing out the state of his accommodations, There were no pictures on the walls, no two pieces of furniture matched, and the only decorations were a couple of framed pictures of what Kip assumed were family members. "I guess you could tell I'm not really into that sort of stuff, huh?"

\n "You're a guy," Kip shrugged, "and you live in a place that a regular guy would live in. It's nice to finally meet someone who's the same person all the time, instead of pretending to be one thing in public, but then being another in private." He watched Jake walk into the kitchen, and he could hear him opening the refrigerator door and rooting around inside.

\n Jake brought two bottles of beer back to the living room and twisted the caps off, handing one to Kip as he passed. The big man was quiet for a few moments, and Kip sensed that he had something on his mind that he didn't know how to bring up. He was reminded that he didn't know Jake well enough to know how to draw him out, so he stayed silent. He had time to take two decent pulls on his beer before Jake spoke again. "How did you handle it?"

\n "What, coming out?" Kip shrugged. "I could tell you that my family and friends were all accepting of me and that nobody judged me, but the truth is, nobody cared."

\n "Why do you think nobody cared?"

\n "I don't have any brothers or sisters, and my parents were out of town a lot on business. I've pretty much raised myself ever since I was thirteen. They treated the abuse I was getting from the other kids like something I'd just have to handle myself, and I learned really quick that they weren't going to be there to back me up if I needed them."

\n "Even the rape?" Jake was shocked, "How could they just let that go on?"

\n "I still haven't told them about that," Kip admitted. "I was too embarrassed, and I didn't trust them to do anything that wouldn't make the situation worse, so I just kept it to myself."

\n "I don't let a lot of people get close," he went on, "I went to shrinks for years to figure out what was wrong with me. The short answer is, the fewer people I'm close to, the harder it is to get hurt. By the time I got my head sorted out, I'd gotten used to flying solo, and it was easier to just stay single. I enjoy my own company, at least."

\n "You're sure talking up a storm with me," Jake said, "you sure don't act like someone who doesn't like other people."

\n Kip started to say something, then closed his mouth, looking a bit puzzled. A second later, he regrouped and tried again. "You're right," he admitted, "you know, you're really easy to talk to." He gave a wry little laugh, and said, "How ironic is that? The most intimidating man I've ever known ends up being the only one I'm comfortable talking to."

\n "It's the concussion?" Jake suggested, one eyebrow raised.

\n "Hrmph. " Kip said, finishing off the last of his beer, "Maybe I should get knocked out more often."

\n Jake sucked down the last of his own brew and got up. "Another one?" he asked, but Kip waved him off.

\n "No, thanks. I'd better not. One thing I do remember from Dr. Irving's Big Book of Rules was that I wasn't supposed to drink alcohol."

\n "Oh, shit," Jake said, looking worried, "I forgot about that." He brought two glasses of water back from the ktichen instead, using the magazines on the end tables as coasters.

\n There was silence between the two men for a moment, then Jake spoke hesitantly. "You've shared a whole bunch about your life with me tonight, Kip, and I guess I'd feel like a jerk if I repaid your trust by holding secrets back from you.

\n Kip took a sip from his water glass and turned his body towards Jake, giving him his complete attention.

\n It took a while for him to start to speak, but when he did, the words came out in a rush. "You remember I told you that I'm not really dating anyone right now?" Kip nodded, and Jake went on. "Well, I've never really dated a girl long-term. It just seems like every time I think I'm getting close to one, they end up freaking out and dumping me."

\n Jake's face screwed up in disgust at his own prevarication. "Okay, that's not fair. They don't freak out, I do stupid shit and drive them away."  The expression on Jake's face looked almost confused. "I know I'm supposed to think that women are the hottest thing since toast, but I've found that I like toast a hell of a lot more than I like women."

\n Kip grinned and raised his water glass in salute, his body language saying "I hear you, buddy," without his ever saying a word.

\n Jake continued, "But I don't think I'm gay either, because none of the guys turns me on. Is it possible to just be non-sexual?"

\n Kip smiled kindly. "That might be easy to answer. What do you think about when you jerk off?"

\n "How good it feels to be jerking off." Jake answered. "I could get more specific, but I think it's enough to say that I don't fantasize when I whack off. I just think about the physical sensations."

\n "Do you ever have erotic dreams?" Kip asked, playing with the ice floating in his glass.

\n "Not that I remember. But I don't remember most of my dreams, anyway."

\n "Huh," Kip said, "Maybe this isn't going to be as easy as I imagined. Maybe you shouldn't even try to put a label on yourself. Maybe you're just ... you.

\n "You gotta be something," Jake said, "if you're not something, you're nothing, right?"

\n "Whoah, hold on there," Kip said, "Who fed you that bunch of crap? Jake looked at him expectantly, and Kip continued. "Sexual attraction has helped horny men make bad decisions for millions of years. If sex isn't an issue, you can enjoy your life without entanglements. You go out with friends when you want company, and stay home when you don't. If you decide you do want to date someone, with your looks and personality, I doubt you'd have to ask twice."

\n "You make it sound so easy, but it's not," Jake said. "I feel like no matter what I decide, it's going to blow up on my face."

\n "How do you mean?" Kip asked.

\n "If I choose girls, I'll go through life wanting something I can never have. If I say I'm gay, my friends and my family will disown me." He looked miserable.  

\n "Don't sweat it," Kip reassured him, "It sounds like you're trying to figure a bunch of important stuff out right now, and none of it has to be decided overnight.  And I promise you, I'll help you figure things out.  "  Kip tried unsuccessfully to stifle an huge yawn that threatened to unhinge his jawbones. "But right now," he continued, "my belly's full and as much as I'm enjoying your company, I'm also seriously falling asleep. And tomorrow's a school day - if I'm late for work, my boss is going to flip out."

\n "No he won't." Jake said. He enjoyed Kip's disbelieving for a moment look before explaining, "Carl got your work number from your membership application, and he sent them a note from Dr. Irving clearing you from work for the next couple of days. Carl can be surprisingly persuasive. Did you know he used to be a drill instructor?"

\n "How do you know this?" Kip used was nothing short of astonished. His boss was a first class prick, and anyone who could convince him to give an employee more than a few hours off at company expense must be persuasive, indeed.

\n Jake waggled his phone. "I told you the guys are looking out for you." Kip shook his head in disbelief. These guys were almost mechanical in their capabilities.

\n "Yeah, it's been a pretty long day, hasn't it?" Jake agreed, then said, "Oh, crap - I forgot to call the guys and let them know you're still alive." He pulled out his phone, but instead of calling, he began tapping out a quick message to the guys. "If I call all of them now, I'll be up until midnight trying to get them off the phone," he explained, distractedly. "I'm just sending out a group message."

\n "You think they care?" Kip asked. "That's weird."

\n "What are you talking about," Jake said, slipping his phone back in his pants pocket, "They always care. They're good guys."

\n "Oh, I'm sure they are," Kip explained, "I'm not slamming them, I just never expected that they'd give a crap about someone like me."

\n "Huh," Jake said, not sounding entirely convinced, "Well, that's going to change, my friend."

\n "You really think so?" Kip's brow was raised.

\n "Yes, I do," Jake said, fishing his phone out of his pocket and glancing at the display, "but I'm not going to start up another conversation with you, because it's already almost midnight." As he was putting his phone back, Kip could hear it vibrate again. Jake looked at it again, and while he was reading what was on the display, it buzzed a third time.

\n Without a word, Jake handed the phone to Kip, who looked at the message on the screen. "Glad he's feeling better. Tell him "Hey" for me!" Jake reached over and, with a thick finger, pushed a button to pull up the next message. "Good! He gonna be back pushing weight tomorrow?" He pushed again, "He's a tough little bastard!" Jake pushed the button a couple of more times, and even though Kip couldn't read the messages in full, he was able to see that they were all from Jake's friends, and they were almost all about him.

\n "I don't get it," Kip said, feeling an all to unfamiliar warmth spreading through him, "Why the hell do they care?"

\n "Because they're good men," Jake repeated, "and like it or not, they're your friends now. At least," he amended, "it's a start. If you tried, you could chase them off, but you'd have to work at it. For whatever reason, they've decided that they like you, and that pretty much seals the deal."

\n Kip sighed, not quite sure what to do about this. He felt a bit lost. Having one new friend was enough for him to worry about at one time. Getting five or six was a bit much to handle!