Three weeks have passed since Jeremy and I found Damien.
Three weeks since Benji had his incident.
The first snow of the year fell last night. The ground seemed cold enough to keep it from melting on impact. The snow wasn't heavy, leaving only about a half inch on the ground. Temperatures seemed to hover right around 28 degrees Fahrenheit, just below freezing.
Growing up in the Midwest, the mild cold and snow never bothered me. You get used to heavier jackets and thicker pants to stay warm. But recently, it hasn't been so easy to keep warm. My legs are weird, and I can't wear jeans for the cold, but they also have not changed enough to insulate themselves. I've been trying to spend as little time outside as possible, but eventually, I have to go out.
The noon sun is reflected heavily by the thin coat of white snow. Longer nights with shorter but brighter days to make up for it. The occasional car drove past, leaving a light trail of smoke behind it. I haven't been outside these doors in three days, and although winter is cold, I can't keep myself secluded.
Almost everyone at the house seems to be handling the cold fine. The only exception is Benji, though. His body isn't built for the winter weather of Ohio. He's been spending quite a bit more time in his bedroom, where his space heater keeps it a warm 80 degrees. Matthew has been trying to keep it reasonable, with the rest of the house sitting at 68 degrees.
I have moved into the AA house, at least partially. For several reasons, I think it may help myself and the others. Relive some stress for me and maybe prolong the cabin fever for everyone else. Jeremy and Rylie packed up the things left in Damiens's room. Things that were more personal belongings were packed into large tubs and stored in the basement.
While moving the two tubs of personal belongings, I saw a few more tubs in the basement. Various names are written on the sides of the large plastic containers, and each is filled with random objects of what I assume are other members' belongings. Although it seems dark, they act as a sort of time capsule.
I've been trying to stay optimistic about everything happening, which is much easier said than done. I've brought myself to the conclusion that there is nothing I can do to stop the changes, which is probably not the best outlook, but I haven't had a change in weeks. I started to feel more in control of it, every day becoming more "normal."
Sitting on the couch with Jeremy, the TV quietly played the news. Nothing is too attractive, mostly just little stories from around the state, giving something to fill in the time between ads. Jeremy reached for the remote while looking at me for approval, and I shrugged back to him. He wasted no time when it came to looking for something else to watch.
I felt a vibration from my chest pocket. I reached in and pulled my phone from the pocket. I've begun to wear shirts with pockets or hoodies to get around the no-pants pockets issue. At first, it felt wrong having so much weight tugging on the breast pocket, but with time it became pretty standard. I was looking at the phone and saw a text from Kole in his usual style of speech dictation.
"You see the snow," he said.
"Yeah, how you holding up with it?" I said back.
"Made adjustments much warmer," he said back.
"New clothes?" I asked, wondering if he had somehow gotten custom clothes. Over the past few years, a few companies have begun to make custom-fit shirts and pants to help with either hiding changes or dealing with the weather. Only really being an option for those with slow changes or who have the money for custom-fit clothing, to begin with.
"Natural cover," He said back.
Confused, I replied, "Still planning on coming by?" I had worked it out with Matthew to let Kole come by at some point and meet everyone. Usually, the goal is to keep the group a little more private from non-avian hybrids, but one time shouldn't be an issue. Kole confirmed he would be by later.
The front door swung open a wave of cold air. The door slammed shut as Nash started kicking his shoes off.
"It's too early for this cold crap," He said. "Every year, I swear it's my last year in this cold. But here I am!"
"It's not like it never snows before Thanksgiving," Rylie shouted from the kitchen.
"I guarantee there won't be a lick of snow on Christmas!" Nash yelled jokingly.
"Can't argue with that," Ryle said, laughing.
Nash placed a few bags of groceries on the kitchen counter, and Rylie began putting the contents into their respective cabinets. Nash grabbed an orange can and tossed it towards me. Struggling to catch it, I dropped it on the floor, slowly rolling away. Picking up the can, I could feel it was made of cardboard rather than metal.
"What's this?" I asked, holding the can and reading the label. It was a container of orange-flavored drink mix.
"Tang," Nash said, "They were fresh out of orange juice, so I figured ya'll can manage."
I tossed it back toward him, and he caught it effortlessly and placed it in the cabinet above the sink. He continued to put away the groceries with Rylie, they were talking, but I could not understand what they were saying. Only the occasional laugh or slam of a cabinet door.
I heard a thumping and clicking sound from the main room headed to the kitchen. Benji walked past with his arms held to his side. His feathers puffed out as he walked into the kitchen. With each step, his feet thumped against the hard floor, and his claws clicked. He reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a small, clear, plastic fruit container. He closed the door and walked out of the kitchen.
"If you get tired of cantelope, I grabbed some other fruits for ya," Nash said, reaching in a bag. He pulled out a round fruit and tossed it towards Benji.
Holding the plastic container, Benji moved his leg as the fruit barely missed him. The fruit rolled across the floor for a few feet and stopped. He leaned down, picked it up, and held the fruit and container against his stomach. He walked to the couch, positioned himself, and sat next to Jeremy.
"Is this a peach?" Benji asked, holding up the fruit. "it's smooth looking."
"I, uh, think it's a mango." Nash said back. "or something like that."
Benji looked at it carefully and took a bite. I could see the feathers on his neck flatten slightly. "It's no peach, but it's not bad," He said, taking another bite.
Recently Benji had begun to take a liking to fruits. However, he seemed to stick to cantaloupe and grapes, the typical make-up of small precut fruit trays. He left plenty of honeydew for everyone else.
Dietary changes are inevitable, but for hybrids like Benji, it's pretty easy to deal with. Jeremy had been eating more fish, but other meats and foods didn't seem to cause any issues. Eating more meat wasn't what worried me, and cutting down or even eliminating non-meat wouldn't be too difficult. The eventual switch to uncooked meat didn't sound too appetizing to me. Rylie's stomach could handle raw meat without getting ill. But she has been sticking to cooked until she isn't able to.
*DING*
The doorbell rang, and Jeremy started to stand, but I stopped him. "I think that's for me," I said, walking to the door.
Opening the door, I was met with a face that could only be Kole. Before me stood a deer. Although it stood upright on its hind legs, its head was that of a deer with large antlers growing from its head. Kole wore no clothing, but that should have been fruitless, and his body was covered head to hoof with brown and white fur. His arms and legs ending with black hooves.
His voice was coarse as he spoke, "A little different?"
I store at his new appearance. Trying to be quick, I said, "You look, uhh, warm?"
Kole laughed as best as he could. "Nice chops," He said, holding his hoof near my cheek.
I felt the feathers on my cheek lift away from my face before taking a breath and relaxing, bringing them back flat. "Yeah." That was all I could think to say.
"So, do you mind if I step in?" Kole asked, shaking me from my stupor.
"Oh yeah, come in!" Stepping aside for him.
Kole stepped into the house. Each step clicked against the floor. His careful placement of each hoof slowed his walking slightly, and he was careful not to slip.
Benji stared with huge eyes. He was looking down before averting his gaze. "Who's buck, Lyall?" Benji asked.
"Oh, this is Kole. He's an old friend of mine." I said, gesturing to Kole.
"I'm his dear friend, you could say," Kole said.
Nash came out from the kitchen. Once he realized who the deer was, he walked over with a hand out For a shake. "You're the Kole we always hear about. I'm Nash, and this is Jeremy and Benji," Nash said, pointing to the others.
"Nice to meet you all. Lyall talks about your folks a lot," Kole said.
He turned to me, "Lyall, is there somewhere we can talk privately?"
"We can go to my room upstairs," I said.
Kole looked at the stairs before sighing. "Yeah, that works."
I helped him up the stairs to my room. Being still new to the house, my room was pretty plain. A full-size bed, a small dresser, and a desk. My room was L slapped with the bed on the leg opposite the door, and the desk sat on the same wall as the door. About half the size of your average hotel room. I sat sideways on the desk chair with the backrest under my arm, and Kole took a seat on the bed.
"You don't mind me sitting here, right?" He asked, "You know, no pants and all?"
I didn't think about it but replied, "Nah, it's no big deal."
Kole hunched forward and sighed. "Feels like it's been forever."
"What happened? When did this happen?" I asked, pointing to Kole's body.
"It happened about a week ago. But I.... don't want to talk about it," He said quietly.
"You can tell me. I get it can be embarrassing," I said to the deer man.
"No, it's beyond embarrassing, and it's disgusting. I'm not... I'm not proud of it. It's best for your sake if you don't know," He said, looking at the floor.
What would be that bad that he wouldn't tell me? Kole had been pretty open about the more embarrassing parts of his changes. But this seems to be a super hush.
"Ok, I get it. Suppose you do need to talk about it, though. Just talk to me, and I promise not to think differently of you." I said, rotating slightly in my chair.
Kole grabbed a pillow and held it on his lap. He leaned forward and scratched at his led hoof with his left arm hoof. "So, what's new with you?" He asked.
"Oh, you know, the usual." I said, "Pretty sure I'm banned from a hotel up north, though."
"What happened there?" Kole asked as he slowly sat up.
"Don't know if I can tell ya. Pretty embarrassing, if I'm honest." I said.
Kole closed his eyes and nodded his head. "I'll tell you, just.... not right now." Kole gave me a serious look.
We sat quietly after that. Kole looked at the floor, unmoving. I wanted to break the silence but could not think of a way that didn't seem forced. I could ask about his weekend, maybe even his mom. While trying to think of what to say, he broke the silence.
"Any plans for the holidays?" Kole asked, looking up at me.
"Like Thanksgiving?" I asked.
"Yeah, like, are you having anyone over? You going anywhere?" Kole questioned.
Meeting with extended family was not something I had been looking forward to. My mom eventually came around to the changes, but I'm not sure how the rest of my family would do when they found out. I know most opinions are pretty negative towards hybrids, and not being open about my changes until now probably will not help. It's not that I've tried to keep it a secret, but with some of the public's thoughts being like they are, you don't want to go shouting from the rooftops.
"I don't know," I said to Kole. "If you mean family-wise, I don't think anyone is aware of this," I gestured to my tail. "Do you have any plans?"
Kole sighed. "No, we are keeping it kind of small this year. Last year seemed... tense if you get what I mean."
"I get ya. We were goin-" I started to say as I was interrupted by my door opening.
Nash's head poked through the doorway, and he turned to look at me from around the door. "Lyall, fella stopped by who I want you to meet." He said, "You can bring Kole too if you want" He turned around and walked off, leaving the door open.
Looking at Kole, he started to get up from the bed. I stood up from the chair and led the two of us out the door. As we descended the stairs, I could hear Kole taking slower, careful steps behind me. The sound of each step clicking against the stairs, one hoof on his arm dragging down the wall, trying to help balance. I tried to slow down without Kole thinking I was slowing down for his sake.
As I rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs, I saw who Nash was talking about. It was a young man, older than myself, standing and talking to a sitting Benji. The man had white feathers on his neck, reaching down towards his chest. His arms had a peppering of blue feathers with a few sporting black lines running horizontally. He was a hybrid for sure, maybe a parrot of some sort?
"Westin! This is Lyall, our red tail, and his friend Kole." I heard Nash say.
The man turned to look at Nash in the kitchen, then immediately to me. He seemed strangely familiar, but I couldn't quite place where I had seen him. He, too, seemed to have a slightly puzzled look. He walked toward me and extended his hand out to mine.
"Names Westin, but everyone calls me Wes." He said, grabbing my hand and shaking it. "Nash has told me quite a bit about you." He turned to look at Kole and held his hand out. Kole Reached his right arm-hoof toward Wes. Wes rotated his hand around, confused, trying to figure out how to shake hands with a dud with no hands. After a moment of hesitation, he lightly grabbed the hoof like a stick and shook it. Kole smirked as Wes let go of his hoof.
"Well, I uhh," Wes said, looking at Kole, "I assume you don't live here?"
"Not inside. I live in the garage." Kole said back, "They let me inside on Wednesdays."
Wes looked at Kole in a halfway confused, halfway concerning way. You could tell the gears were moving in his head, trying to decide if Kole was serious. Kole started smiling as best as he could, giving Wes all the necessary information. "Well, that's better than the closet under the stairs," Wes said to Kole.
Wes began taking off the jacket he was wearing. Below it was a light gray t-shirt, and written on the shirt was the word "Constant." in cursive. Still, the only changes visible were the white feathers on his chest. I know I've seen him before but still cannot quite place where.
"So Wes, are you planning on staying here? Or..." I started to say before he jumped in.
"Oh nah, at least not right now. Roommates probably wouldn't like me ditching on the lease." Wes said, "Unless you know someone looking for a private room, they can only have four months in it, though!" He joked.
"Are any of them, uh, hybrids?" I asked.
"I'm the only one, at least as far as I know." He said, "I'm not sure they all know about my changes yet." He reached up and scratched at his chest. As he did, I could see a line of black feathers running across his chest, churning upwards at each end.
"Can I ask which species you are?" I said to Wes.
He grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled it down. The fabric strained and stretched until I could see an end to the patch of feathers about halfway down his torso after the black line continued with more white feathers. "Not one hundred percent certain, but she thinks it's Blue Jay. She should have the results from the DNA test, but I haven't gone back yet." He said.
Curious, I asked him, "Who is she? Your doctor?"
"Yeah, Doctor Michael. Leslie Michael, she's down the road a bit near the old cafe."
Without thinking, I replied, "Hey, that's my doctor too" I remember now where I'd seen him before! I ran into him at the doctor's office weeks back and accidentally barged into his room. Unsure if I should share the exact details, I tried to see if he could remember me.
"I think I saw you there a few weeks back at her office," I said slowly.
He looked at me, thinking, "I saw a brown bird last time I was in, but he didn't have your.... chops?" He said, pointing to his cheek.
"It was probably me. These are a bit new to me." I said. It was him for sure, and he didn't seem to remember the exact details of what happened, which I guess is good.
"Yeah, I usually can remember folks. That day was just little stressful, new changes and all," Wes said.
From across the room, I could hear Rylie digging in the bags Nash carried in. "What's this for?" She asked Nash, holding up a box. Because of the glare, I could not read the label clearly, but I could see a round disk with tabs along the edge.
"Oh, I picked it up at the store while I was out earlier." Nash said, "I figured something too new to try, getting tired of Uno being the only game around here."
Benji stood up from the couch. "Let's break it out, I'm bored, and we have a large group here." He walked towards Rylie and took the box from her.
I turned out to be Kole. "You got time?" I asked him.
"As long as it works with these," Kole replied, holding up a hoof.
Eventually, we were able to wrangle almost everyone around the table in front of the couches. I sat on the left-most spot on the couch, and Kole was sitting on the arm of the sofa, and on my other side, Benji and Jeremy. On the floor were Nash, Wes, and Matthew. The game was a small round disk with a button in the middle and small flaps with letters on the outside. You draw a topic card, and everyone around presses a button and says a word beginning with that letter.
Wes had read the instructions and tried to explain it to everyone. Most everyone understood and were ready, but a few, namely Jeremy, seemed confused.
We started with Kole, who drew a card. "Science terms," Kole read aloud. He pressed the button, and a timer began ticking. He pushed the "G" key and said aloud, "Grams."
I pressed the "C" key and shouted "Catalyst." before pressing the center button.
Benji yelled, "P! Photon." Jeremy reached forward and pressed the "P" key, followed by the center button. Jeremy then pressed the "M" key and hesitated. Grabbing the pen and score sheet, he hastily wrote out "Mas" and pressed the button.
We continued around the circle, and fewer letters were left. Either Jeremy or I pressed the button for Benji. Jeremy struggled to spell correctly at the anxious, fast pace, but he began to write out multiple possible words during other people's turns.
The game continued round after round to the point that everyone began losing track of time. It slowly turned into light-hearted bickering over whether words counted or Jeremy was cheating. Matthew elected to call it quits after Wes gained a significant lead, which turned into a discussion over whether Wes cheated instead of Jeremy.
Wes left after saying his goodbyes and assuring that he did not cheat. Everyone dispersed and left Kole and myself on the couch, and Kole slid down into the far left seat as I slid to the right.
"I really should get heading home," Kole said, shifting around, getting ready to stand. "Thanks for the invite. I have to say this....isn't like my support group."
"If you can call it that," I said jokingly. "I told myself I would never join a frat, but here I am."
Kole stood up, walked towards the door, and I trailed. He gave a loud thanks to everyone as he opened it. The sky was already dark, and only the most negligible snow covered the ground, just enough to say there was snow. Kole stood on the front porch, the street lights allowing me only to see his outline.
"So you gonna tell me what happened?" I asked one last time.
Kole waited before replying, "Last week, I was...." He stopped briefly and continued, "Early last week was when it happened."
"That's all you can say?" I asked the blob in front of me
I could see the blob move slightly vertically, assuming that was a "yes."
"Kole, if you decide, you need to talk about it. You can speak with me." I almost whispered, "You know that, right?"
"Yeah, " Kole said before turning and walking across the yard to the sidewalk. Under the streetlight, I could only make out his head, looking forward and slightly down as he walked out of the light and down the street.
I closed the door just before Benji yelled, "Letting the cold in." Maybe it was the cold, but I felt pain. An almost instant headache went from the top of my head to the back of my nose. It must be another fun side effect of the cold and my changes. I started walking up the stairs as Nash yelled for me.
"We almost have food done. You want anything in particular?" He yelled, each loud word booming in my head.
"No, I'm headed to bed for a bit. Nasty headache from the cold," I yelled back. Each sound bounced in my head.
I walked up the stairs into my room. Inside was no different from before, the blankets slightly off-kilter from sitting on it. I laid face down on the blankets and turned the lamp off. I closed my eyes, and slowly, the headache melted away.
I climbed out of my bed and out of my tent. The ground outside was slightly damp, having just rained, the sun slowly drying up any puddles. I saw Kole walking out of his tent, still wearing his mismatched shoes. His mom rushed to pack him for camp and accidentally sent him off with two different shoes.
"We are supposed to meet with Mr. Gray at the mess hall," Kole yelled to me. I followed him through the woods path that separated the tents from the mess hall. As we ran, I saw a feather lying on the trail. It was a brownish-orange feather that looked like it belonged to a turkey. I figured the other kids would think it was cool, so I brought it along.
Making it to the hall, We walked in to be greeted by Mr. Gray and a few other scouts at the table. Our little group sat around the table with a small wooden sign reading "Wolf Pack."
"Lyall, what do you have there?" Mr. Gray asked.
I held up the feather to show him, "It's a turkey feather!" I exclaimed.
He gently pulled it from my hand and looked over it. "I don't think this is from a turkey, Lyall." He said, "It looks to be from some kind of hawk." He sat it down on the table, leaving a light red streak as he did. "Oh, it looks to have a bit of blood left on it. We should clean that up before we eat."
Noticing the tiny amount of red left on the wooden table, I looked at my hand. A bright red streak of dried blood marked my hand in a line following the path the feather traveled. The thought of blood made me lightheaded and dizzy, and I closed my eyes to try and get my thoughts off of it.
When they opened, I saw nothing. I was lying flat on my bed, still face down. The pressure caused the feeling in my face to disappear. I reached blindly for the lamp and eventually found it. Turning it on, I looked at my hand for the blood. But found nothing. Thinking back to what I saw, I put together that it was not just a dream but similar to a scouts camping trip I went to in second grade. Being it was so long ago, what parts happened is a little fuzzy. But I remember the blood and the feather vividly.
I walked out of my room to see the sunlight in the hall. I must have slept through the night by accident. Walking into the bathroom, I started to get my toothbrush ready. As I did, I noticed my lips still had no feeling, unlike the rest of my face. I reached up to press against my upper lip, and the feeling was very subtle. But I could feel something hard just on the other side. Kind of like teeth, but more like a single tooth sticking out further than the others.
I turned to the mirror and saw my lip pressed out ever so slightly. I lifted my lip, and a single black point was in front of my short teeth. I pressed a finger against it from the front, and I could feel the pressure in my skull. Pushing from the bottom led to a pick on my finger.
Starting to worry, I tried to keep breathing. The anxiety causes each breath to be shallower. Forcing myself to take a deep breath, I blew the air from my mouth. I felt a tickle in the back of my throat as I did, along with a slight wheeze. Taking another deep breath, I assured myself everything was going to be OK.
As I let this one out, it seemed something in my throat clicked into place. Air did not exit quite as fast as this time, but a different, much louder sound echoed from my body instead of a slight wheeze.
"KEE-AHHHH"
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