Everyone Does It: Mr. and Mr. Rifkin

Richie parked his car in the parking lot of a big old chapel.  The squirrel peered out at the building.  He took a breath then held hands with his wife.

Candy took his hand, “Getting cold feet already?  It’s not even your wedding this time.”

Richie groaned, “I know but… I’m Jewish, I’ve never been inside a church.”

The ferretess furrowed her brow at her hubby, “Babe, I’m Catholic, but I go to temple with you because you’re my husband and because I love you.  These are our friends now, they invited us.  It would be insensitive that we just don’t show up.”

Kaitlyn, who had been sitting directly behind Richie, leaned forward and knocked him playfully on his head, “Besides, this is my brother that’s getting married.  You can’t expect me to miss this.  Our whole family’s gonna be there; that’s a lotta rats.”

Richie sighed, “Alright, okay, I’m sorry, sorry for being a big dummy head.”  He looked to each of his two mates, “Am I forgiven?”

Candy kissed him lovingly on the lips, “You’re forgiven.”

Kaitlyn kissed him too, “We weren’t even mad, baby.”

Richie got a third kiss from Javier, Candy’s brother, “Now can we get going?  You do not want to smell a sweaty ferret in the summer sun, my friend.”

Rich laughed, “Yeah, we’re going.”  He turned off the car then stepped out.

…

Jesse and Kelly were in the lobby with their twins when Richie and his little mixed family entered.  A skunkette held the two squirrel kits while the parents got up to greet their family.

Jesse and Richie hugged and kissed one another, while Kelly did the same with both Candy and Kaitlyn.  She squealed, “I’m so, so happy you all could make it.”

Kaitlyn beamed, “This is Taylor and Vlad we’re talking about.  My big brother and my best friend finally able to get married.  I was visiting them as soon as the news came out.  Taylor, big, brave, wise Taylor cried in my arms that he could finally share his last name.”  She wiped some tears of her own, “We’ve all come a long way.”  She held her belly which had grown nicely over the last two months, “And we’re just gonna keep on going.”

Candy saw the skunk woman holding her nephew and niece, “Kelly, who is this?”

Kelly smiled, “Oh, with the paychecks Jesse has been getting in his new management job at the store, we were able to hire a nanny to watch the kids.”  She gestured for the skunkette to come over.

She nodded patiently before she got up carrying both twins as each drank mother’s milk from bottles.

Candy blinked, “Wow, you have them on bottles already?”

Kelly nodded, “Yeah, their teeth are already starting to come in; little Hilly bit Mommy a bit too hard.  She’s gonna be a tigress when she grows up, I can already tell.  We’re giving them my milk in bottles now and Daddy gets the rest of Mommy all to himself.”  She leaned into her husband and kissed him.  She kindly took her twins from the skunkette.

The woman curtsied to the rest of the family, “I’m Susan Verana, part Mexican on my father’s side.  I’ve been letting them call me Susie, I suppose you can call me that too.”  She smiled politely.

Candy giggled, “Alright, cool! We’ve got another Spanish chick in the group!  I was beginning to feel outnumbered!”

Susie looked at her, “Oh really, are you Mexican too, miss…?”

Candy smiled, “Candizia Cardenas, I’m Cuban.  I’m the one that had to cross a whole ocean to get into Texas.”   She laughed at her racial joke she just made.

Susie laughed, “Awesome and is this your husband here?”  She saw Javier.

The male ferret shook his head, “No, no, Candy es mi hermana, this rich handsome nerd you see here is her darling husband.”  He teasingly ruffled Richie’s hair which the squirrel had so perfectly combed for the wedding.

Richie laughed nervously as he fixed his hair, “It’s very nice meeting you either way, Susie.  I hope these two hyperactive ADD ferrets don’t scare you away before the day is through.”

She giggled, “I have a five-year old daughter of my own to care for at home, believe me.  I know children, even the big ones.”  She winked at the two ferrets.

Kaitlyn blinked, “Oh, you have a daughter!  Are you married, then?”

Susie nodded, “Happily.  My husband, he’s the stay-at-home dad.  He watches our little girl, then when I get home I can take over for him, then when the little one’s tucked in, we break out the wine and take a well deserved bubble bath together.”

Kaitlyn shivered pleasantly at the mental image, “Oh, I hope we’re like that, Richie.”  She playfully poked her mate.

Susie had to tilt her head, “Richie?  But I thought you were married to the ferret here?”

The squirrel fought hard to stifle his giggles, “Her too.”

Susie understood when she looked at the rat’s pregnant belly, “Oh, so it’s all three of you.”

Rich shook his head with a confident grin, “Nope!  The four of us!”  then leaned up to kiss Javier.  “I’m bi.”

Susie blushed, “Oh cool…”

…

Taylor sat in a brightly lit room looking into a mirror as his mother fussed over him.

Thelma had to hold back her tears as she helped her oldest child into his marital tuxedo.  She looked at him and in her mind, she was back at her own wedding.  She sniffed, “I know you don’t wanna hear this, but God, you do look so much like your father.  Seeing you now in this suit,” she hugged her son, “it takes me back to when Rupert and I stood hand in hand before Father Daniels at our church in Alice.  He was so handsome, I nearly melted in his arms as soon as he said the words ‘I do’.”  She was in tears now.  “I know what he was in those last years, but when it was just the two of us, he was the perfect husband.  He opened doors for me, held chairs for me, when I was pregnant with you… you could see him smiling from a mile away.  When you were born, he bought cigars for everyone.”

Taylor held his mother, a kind smile on his face, “I remember, I do.  Those years we’d all go to Six Flags or to Schlitterbahn.  A part of me does wish he could be here to see me right now.”

She buried her face in his neck, “Thank you for saying that, Taylor.  And I’m sure, wherever Rupert is, either looking down or…” She hesitated, “looking up, he must be proud that you’ve become so strong, so wise.”

There was a knock at the door, “We’re almost ready, Mr. Rifkin!”

He called out, “We’ll be out there soon!  Thank you!”

Thelma kissed her son on his cheek, “Now, let’s go get you married, son.”

…

Vlad, in the meantime, had to deal with both of his parents.

There weren’t so many tears shed on his behalf.

Esther had done most of her crying on the drive over; Nicolai cried on the inside, proud that his only child would finally tie the knot with the love of his life.

Esther wiped his cheek, “Oh dearie, you didn’t wash your face enough before coming here.  What’s your groom going to think if you can’t keep your face clean for your special day?”

The fruit bat grinned his cute grin, “He’d probably lick it all off then rape my mouth with his sexy tongue.”

She smacked him playfully, “Don’t talk like that, you’re in a house of God.”

The bat laughed, “I love when you play Angry Romanian mom on me.”

Nicolai chuckled, “It was our compromise, son.  She’d let me get you circumcised, but when you got married, it had to be in a Catholic church.”

She smirked, “That’s marriage, Vlad: compromises and promises.”

Nicolai kissed his wife on the mouth, “That and a whole lot of kisses.”

Vlad giggled, “I’m pretty sure me and Tay have got the kissing part down.”

The three bats laughed together then joined in a family group hug.

…

The whole rest of Taylor’s family was in the lobby as soon as the rat came out in his fancy tuxedo.

Kaitlyn was the first to hug him, “Oh, my stupid big brother, you always gotta find a reason to make me all teary-eyed whenever I see you.”

He laughed with his arms around her, “That’s such a weird way to tell me how much you care, but for this family, I’d say that’s actually pretty typical.”  He held his sister by the small of her back before he felt her belly.  He smiled, “And how’s little Richie doing right now?”

Kaitlyn giggled, “It’s not a Richie, it’s a Rachel.”

He laughed, “Wow, another girl in the family.”

She laughed, “I know, I guess I take after Mom.”

Amanda hugged Taylor next, “Oh, I’m so jealous.  I thought I’d be the first one to get married and have babies.”

The big rat held his second sister, “Aw, you’ll get it one of these days.  What happened to that wolf boyfriend of yours?”

She scoffed, “Old news.”

He understood, “He’s a loser if he can’t keep you, Mandy.”

Georgie came up to him next, a sexy cheetah fem close behind her.  She jumped up and practically pounced on her big brother.

Taylor grunted comically under his youngest sister’s weight acting as though she was too heavy for him, “Oh god, it’s the Incredible She-Hulk and she’s really hairy for some reason!”

Georgie laughed and smacked her brother, “Shut up, Tay!  You know I ain’t got an ounce of fat in me.”

Tay heard the cheetah laughing as she watched from close by, “Hello, who’s this?”

Georgie got up and pulled the blushing feline closer, “This here’s my girlfriend, Yutani.”

The cheetah tried to back away as Tay stood and she saw how big he was.

The rat looked at her, his soft brown eyes connecting with hers, “Yutani, your girlfriend.  I guess you were serious, Georgie.”  He extended a friendly hand, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Georgie nudged her, “Go on, it’s just my brother.”

Yutani hesitated a good while before she finally gave her paw to the big rat.

Tay smiled, “There you go, not so bad.”

The cheetah gave a weak half-smile before breaking contact and averting her eyes.

Georgie sighed, “You have to excuse her, she… she’s very nervous around men.”  She left to console her lover.

Tay sighed, he knew that look on the cheetah’s face.

Finally, the youngest member of the family embraced Taylor.

Tay smiled and held his half-brother, “Joseph, hey.  What’ve you been up to since last I saw you?”

The young rat nuzzled his big brother, “Ah, I’m not a virgin anymore, but I haven’t told Mom yet.”

Tay sat down with Joseph, “Was it with a he or she?  And did you use protection?”

Joseph blushed, “One of my friends, this meerkat guy I knew my whole life.  First, we kissed, it was nice the way our tongues touched.  It tickled.  We were both hard when we took our clothes off.  I frotted with him ‘til we both came together.  It felt so good.  We sucked each other off, then he mounted me.  He wasn’t very big, but it did hurt a little when he opened me.  I didn’t bleed, and I made sure he used protection.”

Taylor smiled and rubbed his brother’s shoulders, “That’s sexy.  I’m proud of you, bro.  What’s the deal, then?  Are you still friends?”

Joe blushed, “I guess so, we still hang out like we always did, and with all our same friends.  I though it would feel different after I’d had sex.  Sometimes when we’re alone, we do hold hands, maybe kiss a bit.  I don’t know if he’s like the one, but  I don’t want to lose him as a friend.”

Taylor petted his brother, “Some friends will go away as we get older, if you think he’s the one, you have to try hard, but you have to be able to say to yourself, ‘Can I live without this particular person?’ And can you, Joseph?”

Joseph thought about it, “I like him, we’ve always played together.  I don’t know if his parents are as understanding as Mom, though.”

Tay chuckled, “I hear you there.  Listen, how about, the next time you see your friend, the two of you talk.  It’s better you talk it over before it turns into something where one of you would get hurt.  Do you understand?”

Joseph nodded, “I understand, thanks Tay.”

The rat petted his brother, “You’re a good kid.”

Then, the priest, a kind old moose, walked out to meet with the people, “Okay, everyone, it is almost time for the proceedings, all people who are supposed to be here, please come in and find a seat.”

Tay stood with his brother, “Come on.”

…

Taylor and his friends and family all sat in one side of the wedding chapel.

Candy had to go to the restroom, so she kindly excused herself.

She found the ladies room and did her business.  Afterwards, she left and bumped into someone, “Oh, excuse me.”  Her eyes widened when she looked up and saw a familiar face.

“Oh, Candy…”  The white-tailed buck was taken aback when he’d bumped into this pretty ferret he had previously been intimate with.

She brushed back her silvery hair before speaking, “Hello, Dan…”

The buck gulped, “It’s been a while.”  He smiled nervously.

She nodded, “Mhm, it has… you still look good.”

He scratched his neck, “Yeah, you do too.  Well, no, you’re beautiful.  Real beautiful…  though I left ya in a pretty bad spot didn’t I?”

Candy tried to keep her temper even, “I’ll say, you used me for my dying husband, then when we were caught, you told the whole office I had crabs.  I was embarrassed, had to go back to my old job at a sex hotline.  Can you really believe how bad of a drop that had to have been for me?”

Dan groaned, “Yeah… I didn’t fare any better.  My wife died, I lost my job.  But, I’m different now.  Whatever prick I was back then, that’s done.  I have someone, somebody who cares for me and I love them back.”

Candy nodded, “Me too, I’m married now, and I absolutely love the man I’m with.”

Dan smiled, “You’re married?  Wow, I’m glad to hear that.”

Just then, Richie came out of the chapel, “Candice, what’s taking you so long?”  He stopped when he saw the deer that once dated his wife, “Dan…”

The buck straightened up as he quickly put the pieces together, “You married your dead husband’s son?”

Candy sighed, “Yes, yes I did.”

He chuckled, “Oh, of course.  So I guess in the end, you still got the boss’s money.”

Richie pulled the ferretess closer, “It started that way, yeah.  I mean, how could I say no to a pretty face like hers?  Then, I got to know her.  She was more than just some pretty girl, she was my friend, she was someone I could just talk with.”

Candy giggled, “The sex is fucking awesome, too.”

Dan laughed, “I see…”

Just then, a tall reindeer tapped his shoulder, “Danny, we’re getting antsy, what’s keepin’ ya?”  He saw the squirrel and ferretess, “Oh, who are your friends?”

Dan laughed nervously, “Rex, these are a couple former co-workers of mine from my old job.  Richie Meyers and… I guess Candy Meyers, eh?”

Rex’s ears waggled, “Oh!  Candy, like the Candy… oh.  Is this one of those moments, hon?”

Dan hugged his lover, “It was, but things are alright now.  Right, Candy?”

The ferretess giggled, “Right… so let me get this straight, after me, you turned gay, is that what this is?”

Dan chuckled, “Bi, and in a semi-open relationship, is that right, Rex?”

The reindeer laughed, “Oh yes, I’m married, got a son of my own, but this guy here?  He’s my number one buck.”

Candy giggled, “Wow, you too?  Richie and I are together, but we’ve got two other people living with us who we regularly have sex with.”

Rex laughed, “Funny how all this freelovin’ stuff seems to be spreading all around.  What are you two here for, if you don’t mind my asking?”

Candy smiled, “Two very good, close friends of ours are getting married.  In fact, we’re supposed to be in the chapel right now, so, it was nice seeing you all, but we have to get back.”

Dan nodded, “Okay, well, I guess we’ll see you around.  Come on, Rex.”

The reindeer laughed as his mate walked off, “It was great meeting you two.  I do hope we see each other again sometime.”  Then, he was gone too.

…

Taylor stood at the altar now as he waited for that silly bat, the only person he hadn’t seen since getting here, damn those old wedding superstitions.  He smiled as he already pictured the little nerd smiling up at him, God it warmed him so to see that bat smile.

The music started suddenly.

Taylor looked up and there at the far end of the long red carpet, there stood his bride.

Vlad was dressed in a handsome black tuxedo very similar to Taylor’s, minus the obvious adjustments for his wingspan.

Nicolai held his son’s hand and led him down the aisle as the Wedding March played.

Thelma saw it and suppressed a small giggle to see Vlad be led like a daughter to be given away by her father.

Taylor took Vlad’s hand when the fruit bat got to him, “This is a long time coming.”

Vlad laughed, “It better be, I didn’t get all dressed up for nothing, Tay!”

The priest cleared his throat, “Now, may we begin?”

Taylor nodded, “Of course, Father.”

The moose nodded and began to recite the age old prayer blessing the holy matrimony of these two souls.

Taylor mostly nodded, trying his best to make it appear he was paying attention.

Vlad was all ears listening closely as the moose droned on.

Nicolai and Esther sat with their old friend, Thelma.

The male bat groaned impatiently, “Thelma, my dear.  I don’t know how you Catholics can sit through all this prattling and not find it the least bit tiring.”

She giggled, “Oh, I’m sure it’s no less borin’ than sittin’ at temple as the rabbi reads from an old book.”

He chuckled and nodded, “True.”

The priest finished, “Now before we continue, if anyone here objects to this union speak now or forever hold your peace.”

There were no objections.

The moose looked upon the rat and bat, “Taylor Rifkin, Vladimir Romanov, do either of you have anything to say?”

Taylor realized he didn’t have anything and suddenly felt bad.  He felt a hand touch his face and saw that precious smile on his love’s face.

Vlad whispered, “It’s okay.”  He spoke up, “I would like to say something.”  He took a little paper from his pocket.  He cleared his throat before reading aloud the words written on this paper, “Taylor, my Tay, sometimes I ask myself how a silly little nerd like me could end up with a guy like you.  Then I realize, well I started it didn’t I?  I made that first move, eleven years ago when I was just two years off from legal age, I claimed you.  You were mine and I was yours.  Taylor, you…” He looked at the priest, “Am I allowed to curse?”

The priest shrugged, “Go ahead, God will forgive you.”

Vlad continued, “Taylor, you went through such unfair shit and it broke my heart to know that, but then it also told me… I helped you didn’t I?  You came out from a bad place and I’m the one who caught you, who saved you.  Taylor, I love you, I know you love me, now I just want us to be old men still kissing when we get to the end.”

Taylor smiled through tears that had formed in his eyes, “Thank you, Vlad.”

The moose smiled, “That was very nice, Mr. Romanov.”  He cleared his throat, “Now, may we have the rings?”

Taylor turned, “Joseph! That’s you!”

The teenaged rat came up to the altar with the wedding rings on a pillow.

The rat and bat took the rings.  Taylor thanked his brother, ruffling his hair playfully before he slipped Vlad’s ring on the bat’s ring finger.

Vlad did the same for Taylor.

Joseph stepped down as the moose continued, “Now, Taylor Rifkin, do you take this… bat as your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold until death do you part?”

Taylor inhaled, then exhaled, “I do.”

“And do you, Vladimir Romanov, take this rat as your lawfully wedded husband?”

Vlad smiled the biggest he’d ever done, “Yes, I do.”

“Then, by the power invested in me, I hereby name you uh…”  He’d done this for so long, he hadn’t practiced for a same-sex couple yet.

Vlad giggled, “Go ahead, you can say it.”

The moose sighed, “I hereby declare you man and wife, you may now kiss the bride.”  He looked at them, “Whichever of you that may be.”

Taylor took Vlad’s hands in his then planted an especially big and loving kiss on the nerdy fruit bat’s lips.

The moose declared, “Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you the new Mr. and… Mr. Taylor and Vladimir Rifkin.”

The rat and bat were still kissing quite intensively when the moose finished.  As Vlad had told his mother, the rat was practically violating his mouth with his tongue right now.

The moose joked, “I see you two have practiced.”

Their very erotic kiss finally ended with a smack and a little string of saliva connecting them temporarily.  Taylor lifted the small bat in his arms, “We finally made it.”

Vlad kissed him again, “We made it!”

Taylor stepped down from the altar with his new husband.  He walked past Joseph who now had the pillow over his crotch to hide the erection he got from seeing the two of them kiss.

Their parents all embraced the pair.

Thelma kissed Taylor, “You, I’m so proud of you both!”  She looked straight in her son’s eyes, “And you take good care of my new son-in-law, you hear?  You ain’t too old for me to be whippin’ your ass!”

Taylor laughed, “I’ll try to remember that.”

Both old bats held the big rat in their warm wings and planted small kisses on the rat before each gave him a deep tongue kiss.

Vlad giggled at their blatant hedonism here in a place of worship and holiness.  His parents then did the same to him, their tongues tickling his lips as they’d double-kissed him at once.

Thelma blushed, “These bats are so… oh, what the hell do I have to complain about?”

Taylor laughed, “That’s my Vlad!”