Everyone Does It: Mr.
and Mr. Rifkin

Richie
parked his car in the parking lot of a big old chapel.  The squirrel peered out at the building.  He took a breath then held hands with his
wife.

Candy took
his hand, “Getting cold feet already? 
It’s not even your wedding this time.”

Richie
groaned, “I know but… I’m Jewish, I’ve never been inside a church.”

The
ferretess furrowed her brow at her hubby, “Babe, I’m Catholic, but I go to
temple with you because you’re my husband and because I love you.  These are our friends now, they invited
us.  It would be insensitive that we just
don’t show up.”

Kaitlyn, who
had been sitting directly behind Richie, leaned forward and knocked him
playfully on his head, “Besides, this is my brother that’s getting
married.  You can’t expect me to miss
this.  Our whole family’s gonna be there;
that’s a lotta rats.”

Richie
sighed, “Alright, okay, I’m sorry, sorry for being a big dummy head.”  He looked to each of his two mates, “Am I
forgiven?”

Candy kissed
him lovingly on the lips, “You’re forgiven.”

Kaitlyn
kissed him too, “We weren’t even mad, baby.”

Richie got a
third kiss from Javier, Candy’s brother, “Now can we get going?  You do not want to smell a sweaty ferret in
the summer sun, my friend.”

Rich
laughed, “Yeah, we’re going.”  He turned
off the car then stepped out.

…

Jesse and
Kelly were in the lobby with their twins when Richie and his little mixed
family entered.  A skunkette held the two
squirrel kits while the parents got up to greet their family.

Jesse and
Richie hugged and kissed one another, while Kelly did the same with both Candy
and Kaitlyn.  She squealed, “I’m so, so
happy you all could make it.”

Kaitlyn
beamed, “This is Taylor and Vlad we’re talking about.  My big brother and my best friend finally
able to get married.  I was visiting them
as soon as the news came out.  Taylor,
big, brave, wise Taylor cried in my arms that he could finally share his last
name.”  She wiped some tears of her own,
“We’ve all come a long way.”  She held
her belly which had grown nicely over the last two months, “And we’re just
gonna keep on going.”

Candy saw
the skunk woman holding her nephew and niece, “Kelly, who is this?”

Kelly
smiled, “Oh, with the paychecks Jesse has been getting in his new management
job at the store, we were able to hire a nanny to watch the kids.”  She gestured for the skunkette to come over.

She nodded
patiently before she got up carrying both twins as each drank mother’s milk
from bottles.

Candy
blinked, “Wow, you have them on bottles already?”

Kelly
nodded, “Yeah, their teeth are already starting to come in; little Hilly bit Mommy
a bit too hard.  She’s gonna be a tigress
when she grows up, I can already tell. 
We’re giving them my milk in bottles now and Daddy gets the rest of
Mommy all to himself.”  She leaned into her
husband and kissed him.  She kindly took
her twins from the skunkette.

The woman
curtsied to the rest of the family, “I’m Susan Verana, part Mexican on my
father’s side.  I’ve been letting them
call me Susie, I suppose you can call me that too.”  She smiled politely.

Candy
giggled, “Alright, cool! We’ve got another Spanish chick in the group!  I was beginning to feel outnumbered!”

Susie looked
at her, “Oh really, are you Mexican too, miss…?”

Candy
smiled, “Candizia Cardenas, I’m Cuban. 
I’m the one that had to cross a whole ocean to get into Texas.”   She laughed at her racial joke she just
made.

Susie
laughed, “Awesome and is this your husband here?”  She saw Javier.

The male
ferret shook his head, “No, no, Candy es mi hermana, this rich handsome nerd
you see here is her darling husband.”  He
teasingly ruffled Richie’s hair which the squirrel had so perfectly combed for
the wedding.

Richie
laughed nervously as he fixed his hair, “It’s very nice meeting you either way,
Susie.  I hope these two hyperactive ADD
ferrets don’t scare you away before the day is through.”

She giggled,
“I have a five-year old daughter of my own to care for at home, believe
me.  I know children, even the big
ones.”  She winked at the two ferrets.

Kaitlyn
blinked, “Oh, you have a daughter!  Are
you married, then?”

Susie
nodded, “Happily.  My husband, he’s the
stay-at-home dad.  He watches our little
girl, then when I get home I can take over for him, then when the little one’s
tucked in, we break out the wine and take a well deserved bubble bath
together.”

Kaitlyn
shivered pleasantly at the mental image, “Oh, I hope we’re like that,
Richie.”  She playfully poked her mate.

Susie had to
tilt her head, “Richie?  But I thought
you were married to the ferret here?”

The squirrel
fought hard to stifle his giggles, “Her too.”

Susie
understood when she looked at the rat’s pregnant belly, “Oh, so it’s all three
of you.”

Rich shook
his head with a confident grin, “Nope! 
The four of us!”  then leaned up
to kiss Javier.  “I’m bi.”

Susie blushed,
“Oh cool…”

…

Taylor sat
in a brightly lit room looking into a mirror as his mother fussed over him.

Thelma had
to hold back her tears as she helped her oldest child into his marital
tuxedo.  She looked at him and in her
mind, she was back at her own wedding. 
She sniffed, “I know you don’t wanna hear this, but God, you do look so
much like your father.  Seeing you now in
this suit,” she hugged her son, “it takes me back to when Rupert and I stood
hand in hand before Father Daniels at our church in Alice.  He was so handsome, I nearly melted in his
arms as soon as he said the words ‘I do’.” 
She was in tears now.  “I know
what he was in those last years, but when it was just the two of us, he was the
perfect husband.  He opened doors for me,
held chairs for me, when I was pregnant with you… you could see him smiling
from a mile away.  When you were born, he
bought cigars for everyone.”

Taylor held
his mother, a kind smile on his face, “I remember, I do.  Those years we’d all go to Six Flags or to
Schlitterbahn.  A part of me does wish he
could be here to see me right now.”

She buried
her face in his neck, “Thank you for saying that, Taylor.  And I’m sure, wherever Rupert is, either
looking down or…” She hesitated, “looking up, he must be proud that you’ve
become so strong, so wise.”

There was a
knock at the door, “We’re almost ready, Mr. Rifkin!”

He called
out, “We’ll be out there soon!  Thank
you!”

Thelma
kissed her son on his cheek, “Now, let’s go get you married, son.”

…

Vlad, in the
meantime, had to deal with both of his parents.

There
weren’t so many tears shed on his behalf.

Esther had
done most of her crying on the drive over; Nicolai cried on the inside, proud
that his only child would finally tie the knot with the love of his life.

Esther wiped
his cheek, “Oh dearie, you didn’t wash your face enough before coming
here.  What’s your groom going to think
if you can’t keep your face clean for your special day?”

The fruit
bat grinned his cute grin, “He’d probably lick it all off then rape my mouth
with his sexy tongue.”

She smacked
him playfully, “Don’t talk like that, you’re in a house of God.”

The bat
laughed, “I love when you play Angry Romanian mom on me.”

Nicolai
chuckled, “It was our compromise, son. 
She’d let me get you circumcised, but when you got married, it had to be
in a Catholic church.”

She smirked,
“That’s marriage, Vlad: compromises and promises.”

Nicolai
kissed his wife on the mouth, “That and a whole lot of kisses.”

Vlad
giggled, “I’m pretty sure me and Tay have got the kissing part down.”

The three
bats laughed together then joined in a family group hug.

…

The whole
rest of Taylor’s family was in the lobby as soon as the rat came out in his
fancy tuxedo.

Kaitlyn was
the first to hug him, “Oh, my stupid big brother, you always gotta find a
reason to make me all teary-eyed whenever I see you.”

He laughed
with his arms around her, “That’s such a weird way to tell me how much you
care, but for this family, I’d say that’s actually pretty typical.”  He held his sister by the small of her back
before he felt her belly.  He smiled,
“And how’s little Richie doing right now?”

Kaitlyn
giggled, “It’s not a Richie, it’s a Rachel.”

He laughed,
“Wow, another girl in the family.”

She laughed,
“I know, I guess I take after Mom.”

Amanda
hugged Taylor next, “Oh, I’m so jealous. 
I thought I’d be the first one to get married and have babies.”

The big rat
held his second sister, “Aw, you’ll get it one of these days.  What happened to that wolf boyfriend of
yours?”

She scoffed,
“Old news.”

He understood,
“He’s a loser if he can’t keep you, Mandy.”

Georgie came
up to him next, a sexy cheetah fem close behind her.  She jumped up and practically pounced on her
big brother.

Taylor
grunted comically under his youngest sister’s weight acting as though she was
too heavy for him, “Oh god, it’s the Incredible She-Hulk and she’s really hairy
for some reason!”

Georgie
laughed and smacked her brother, “Shut up, Tay! 
You know I ain’t got an ounce of fat in me.”

Tay heard
the cheetah laughing as she watched from close by, “Hello, who’s this?”

Georgie got
up and pulled the blushing feline closer, “This here’s my girlfriend, Yutani.”

The cheetah
tried to back away as Tay stood and she saw how big he was.

The rat
looked at her, his soft brown eyes connecting with hers, “Yutani, your girlfriend.  I guess you were serious, Georgie.”  He
extended a friendly hand, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Georgie
nudged her, “Go on, it’s just my brother.”

Yutani
hesitated a good while before she finally gave her paw to the big rat.

Tay smiled,
“There you go, not so bad.”

The cheetah
gave a weak half-smile before breaking contact and averting her eyes.

Georgie
sighed, “You have to excuse her, she… she’s very nervous around men.”  She left to console her lover.

Tay sighed,
he knew that look on the cheetah’s face.

Finally, the
youngest member of the family embraced Taylor.

Tay smiled
and held his half-brother, “Joseph, hey. 
What’ve you been up to since last I saw you?”

The young
rat nuzzled his big brother, “Ah, I’m not a virgin anymore, but I haven’t told
Mom yet.”

Tay sat down
with Joseph, “Was it with a he or she? 
And did you use protection?”

Joseph
blushed, “One of my friends, this meerkat guy I knew my whole life.  First, we kissed, it was nice the way our
tongues touched.  It tickled.  We were both hard when we took our clothes
off.  I frotted with him ‘til we both
came together.  It felt so good.  We sucked each other off, then he mounted
me.  He wasn’t very big, but it did hurt
a little when he opened me.  I didn’t
bleed, and I made sure he used protection.”

Taylor
smiled and rubbed his brother’s shoulders, “That’s sexy.  I’m proud of you, bro.  What’s the deal, then?  Are you still friends?”

Joe blushed,
“I guess so, we still hang out like we always did, and with all our same friends.  I though it would feel different after I’d
had sex.  Sometimes when we’re alone, we
do hold hands, maybe kiss a bit.  I don’t
know if he’s like the one, but  I don’t
want to lose him as a friend.”

Taylor
petted his brother, “Some friends will go away as we get older, if you think
he’s the one, you have to try hard, but you have to be able to say to yourself,
‘Can I live without this particular person?’ And can you, Joseph?”

Joseph
thought about it, “I like him, we’ve always played together.  I don’t know if his parents are as
understanding as Mom, though.”

Tay
chuckled, “I hear you there.  Listen, how
about, the next time you see your friend, the two of you talk.  It’s better you talk it over before it turns
into something where one of you would get hurt. 
Do you understand?”

Joseph
nodded, “I understand, thanks Tay.”

The rat
petted his brother, “You’re a good kid.”

Then, the
priest, a kind old moose, walked out to meet with the people, “Okay, everyone,
it is almost time for the proceedings, all people who are supposed to be here,
please come in and find a seat.”

Tay stood
with his brother, “Come on.”

…

Taylor and
his friends and family all sat in one side of the wedding chapel.

Candy had to
go to the restroom, so she kindly excused herself.

She found the
ladies room and did her business. 
Afterwards, she left and bumped into someone, “Oh, excuse me.”  Her eyes widened when she looked up and saw a
familiar face.

“Oh,
Candy…”  The white-tailed buck was taken
aback when he’d bumped into this pretty ferret he had previously been intimate
with.

She brushed
back her silvery hair before speaking, “Hello, Dan…”

The buck
gulped, “It’s been a while.”  He smiled
nervously.

She nodded,
“Mhm, it has… you still look good.”

He scratched
his neck, “Yeah, you do too.  Well, no,
you’re beautiful.  Real beautiful…  though I left ya in a pretty bad spot didn’t
I?”

Candy tried
to keep her temper even, “I’ll say, you used me for my dying husband, then when
we were caught, you told the whole office I had crabs.  I was embarrassed, had to go back to my old
job at a sex hotline.  Can you really
believe how bad of a drop that had to have been for me?”

Dan groaned,
“Yeah… I didn’t fare any better.  My wife
died, I lost my job.  But, I’m different
now.  Whatever prick I was back then,
that’s done.  I have someone, somebody
who cares for me and I love them back.”

Candy
nodded, “Me too, I’m married now, and I absolutely love the man I’m with.”

Dan smiled,
“You’re married?  Wow, I’m glad to hear
that.”

Just then,
Richie came out of the chapel, “Candice, what’s taking you so long?”  He stopped when he saw the deer that once
dated his wife, “Dan…”

The buck
straightened up as he quickly put the pieces together, “You married your dead
husband’s son?”

Candy
sighed, “Yes, yes I did.”

He chuckled,
“Oh, of course.  So I guess in the end,
you still got the boss’s money.”

Richie
pulled the ferretess closer, “It started that way, yeah.  I mean, how could I say no to a pretty face
like hers?  Then, I got to know her.  She was more than just some pretty girl, she
was my friend, she was someone I could just talk with.”

Candy
giggled, “The sex is fucking awesome, too.”

Dan laughed,
“I see…”

Just then, a
tall reindeer tapped his shoulder, “Danny, we’re getting antsy, what’s keepin’
ya?”  He saw the squirrel and ferretess,
“Oh, who are your friends?”

Dan laughed
nervously, “Rex, these are a couple former co-workers of mine from my old
job.  Richie Meyers and… I guess Candy
Meyers, eh?”

Rex’s ears
waggled, “Oh!  Candy, like the Candy…
oh.  Is this one of those moments, hon?”

Dan hugged
his lover, “It was, but things are alright now. 
Right, Candy?”

The
ferretess giggled, “Right… so let me get this straight, after me, you turned
gay, is that what this is?”

Dan
chuckled, “Bi, and in a semi-open relationship, is that right, Rex?”

The reindeer
laughed, “Oh yes, I’m married, got a son of my own, but this guy here?  He’s my number one buck.”

Candy
giggled, “Wow, you too?  Richie and I are
together, but we’ve got two other people living with us who we regularly have sex
with.”

Rex laughed,
“Funny how all this freelovin’ stuff seems to be spreading all around.  What are you two here for, if you don’t mind
my asking?”

Candy
smiled, “Two very good, close friends of ours are getting married.  In fact, we’re supposed to be in the chapel
right now, so, it was nice seeing you all, but we have to get back.”

Dan nodded,
“Okay, well, I guess we’ll see you around. 
Come on, Rex.”

The reindeer
laughed as his mate walked off, “It was great meeting you two.  I do hope we see each other again
sometime.”  Then, he was gone too.

…

Taylor stood
at the altar now as he waited for that silly bat, the only person he hadn’t
seen since getting here, damn those old wedding superstitions.  He smiled as he already pictured the little
nerd smiling up at him, God it warmed him so to see that bat smile.

The music
started suddenly.

Taylor
looked up and there at the far end of the long red carpet, there stood his
bride.

Vlad was
dressed in a handsome black tuxedo very similar to Taylor’s, minus the obvious
adjustments for his wingspan.

Nicolai held
his son’s hand and led him down the aisle as the Wedding March played.

Thelma saw
it and suppressed a small giggle to see Vlad be led like a daughter to be given
away by her father.

Taylor took
Vlad’s hand when the fruit bat got to him, “This is a long time coming.”

Vlad
laughed, “It better be, I didn’t get all dressed up for nothing, Tay!”

The priest
cleared his throat, “Now, may we begin?”

Taylor
nodded, “Of course, Father.”

The moose
nodded and began to recite the age old prayer blessing the holy matrimony of
these two souls.

Taylor
mostly nodded, trying his best to make it appear he was paying attention.

Vlad was all
ears listening closely as the moose droned on.

Nicolai and
Esther sat with their old friend, Thelma.

The male bat
groaned impatiently, “Thelma, my dear.  I
don’t know how you Catholics can sit through all this prattling and not find it
the least bit tiring.”

She giggled,
“Oh, I’m sure it’s no less borin’ than sittin’ at temple as the rabbi reads
from an old book.”

He chuckled
and nodded, “True.”

The priest
finished, “Now before we continue, if anyone here objects to this union speak
now or forever hold your peace.”

There were
no objections.

The moose
looked upon the rat and bat, “Taylor Rifkin, Vladimir Romanov, do either of you
have anything to say?”

Taylor
realized he didn’t have anything and suddenly felt bad.  He felt a hand touch his face and saw that
precious smile on his love’s face.

Vlad
whispered, “It’s okay.”  He spoke up, “I
would like to say something.”  He took a
little paper from his pocket.  He cleared
his throat before reading aloud the words written on this paper, “Taylor, my
Tay, sometimes I ask myself how a silly little nerd like me could end up with a
guy like you.  Then I realize, well I
started it didn’t I?  I made that first
move, eleven years ago when I was just two years off from legal age, I claimed
you.  You were mine and I was yours.  Taylor, you…” He looked at the priest, “Am I
allowed to curse?”

The priest
shrugged, “Go ahead, God will forgive you.”

Vlad
continued, “Taylor, you went through such unfair shit and it broke my heart to
know that, but then it also told me… I helped you didn’t I?  You came out from a bad place and I’m the one
who caught you, who saved you.  Taylor, I
love you, I know you love me, now I just want us to be old men still kissing
when we get to the end.”

Taylor
smiled through tears that had formed in his eyes, “Thank you, Vlad.”

The moose
smiled, “That was very nice, Mr. Romanov.” 
He cleared his throat, “Now, may we have the rings?”

Taylor
turned, “Joseph! That’s you!”

The teenaged
rat came up to the altar with the wedding rings on a pillow.

The rat and
bat took the rings.  Taylor thanked his
brother, ruffling his hair playfully before he slipped Vlad’s ring on the bat’s
ring finger.

Vlad did the
same for Taylor.

Joseph
stepped down as the moose continued, “Now, Taylor Rifkin, do you take this… bat
as your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold until death do you part?”

Taylor
inhaled, then exhaled, “I do.”

“And do you,
Vladimir Romanov, take this rat as your lawfully wedded husband?”

Vlad smiled
the biggest he’d ever done, “Yes, I do.”

“Then, by
the power invested in me, I hereby name you uh…”  He’d done this for so long, he hadn’t
practiced for a same-sex couple yet.

Vlad
giggled, “Go ahead, you can say it.”

The moose
sighed, “I hereby declare you man and wife, you may now kiss the bride.”  He looked at them, “Whichever of you that may
be.”

Taylor took
Vlad’s hands in his then planted an especially big and loving kiss on the nerdy
fruit bat’s lips.

The moose
declared, “Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you the new Mr. and… Mr.
Taylor and Vladimir Rifkin.”

The rat and
bat were still kissing quite intensively when the moose finished.  As Vlad had told his mother, the rat was
practically violating his mouth with his tongue right now.

The moose
joked, “I see you two have practiced.”

Their very
erotic kiss finally ended with a smack and a little string of saliva connecting
them temporarily.  Taylor lifted the
small bat in his arms, “We finally made it.”

Vlad kissed
him again, “We made it!”

Taylor
stepped down from the altar with his new husband.  He walked past Joseph who now had the pillow
over his crotch to hide the erection he got from seeing the two of them kiss.

Their
parents all embraced the pair.

Thelma
kissed Taylor, “You, I’m so proud of you both!” 
She looked straight in her son’s eyes, “And you take good care of my new
son-in-law, you hear?  You ain’t too old
for me to be whippin’ your ass!”

Taylor
laughed, “I’ll try to remember that.”

Both old
bats held the big rat in their warm wings and planted small kisses on the rat
before each gave him a deep tongue kiss.

Vlad giggled
at their blatant hedonism here in a place of worship and holiness.  His parents then did the same to him, their
tongues tickling his lips as they’d double-kissed him at once.

Thelma
blushed, “These bats are so… oh, what the hell do I have to complain about?”

Taylor
laughed, “That’s my Vlad!”