A biography of a human

Chapter Seven:

“Inner Turmoil"

I don't know how long I was there sprawled upon the hard wooden floor of my master's study weeping while clutching in my fist, the corner tassel of an elegant embroidered rug of dark stormy blue and overcast gray arrayed in swirls crashing in on themselves like waves on an open ocean during a summer storm that was akin the one brewing in the pit of my stomach.

Looking up at the room around me, I saw it got bigger and bigger above me. The ceiling on high looked like a monumental canopy that rivaled the sky. The carved statues of Wolves arranged around the room began to silently laugh and mock me as they bared down on me like an oppressive force ready to crush me like a bug. I felt so small in this world.

I felt like I was nothing. Insignificant, powerless and no better than the dust under the cruel paws of these beasts. It was a feeling that burrowed a hole into my soul and filled it with such despair. It was a feeling a child of any race should not go through.

My body felt like it was hurtling into an endless abyss of nothing. Everyone I knew, loved and cared about is gone from me, evaporated like water in the desert. There was no one that could save me from myself and pull me from this hole of fear and terror that was my own creation and closing my eyes tightly, I hoped the world around me would just go away and everything would just end for me.

“I just want to die and be with them again!"

“Please, anyone, just take me here and now, please just take me from this world, I can't take it anymore!" With that, everything stopped. My mind filled with an eerie calm, not a sound passed by and everything felt unreal to me.

Then noises that were both familiar and unfamiliar to came to me in my mind: the sounds of of a window blowing in the wind and of pelicans. Then a smell wafted past my nose, it was the scent of salt and sea, invigorating my mind to an awake state. I was so confused, my master's home was nowhere near the sea side where were these sounds and smells coming from?

Finally opening my eyes, I was no longer in my masters study but my home back on Safehaven, laying on my old bed as a light breeze drifted through my window with the chirps of bird greeting me like they always did and in the distance I heard the old church bell ring as though nothing changed. It felt so good to see home again, it was even good to see the things I normally hated like my itchy blanket or my flat pillow, they felt so comforting to me now after having lost them. It's surprising how you can grow to miss even the things you hate. Even the boring sermons sounded so entertaining and the thought of hearing them filled me with such excitement like never before. Soon the sense of happiness at seeing myself home again dissipated and was replaced by a sense of perplexed terror at the nature of this place.

“Is this real?"

“Was all that happened just a dream?"

“No, it was real I still feel the pain!"

“Is this heaven?" These thoughts and more rushed through my mind, paralyzing me with a sense of anguished confusion which I could not handle and again broke down, curling up into a ball.

In my delirium, I saw a black silhouette emerge in the doorway, backed by a blinding light coming closer as the sound of footsteps thundered across the room, deafening me until the figure was right before me. It kneed down and I felt it's arms wrap around my shoulders, lifting me up onto his lap as I struggled to clear the blurriness from my eyes. Was this a higher power here to take me home again? I did not know and I laid there, questions coming in and out of my head until a voice spoke out from the figure.

“My little Xander, don't despair. don't give up on life. Be strong, always be strong, survive." The voice was familiar, so familiar that it was like a wave crashing through my my body, clearing my vision so that it was clear as a crystal and I saw it was Grandpa holding me, smiling gently down upon me.

I was so happy, my heart skipped a beat and I threw up my arms around his neck, all the while crying with the utmost joy. No longer did I feel hopeless and the clouds of anguish dissipated like like the clouds do when the sun breaks through the storm.

“GRANDPA! GRANDPA! Oh how I missed you! I'm so scared, what am I going to do!?" He lowered me back down on his lap before he answered my question.

“Survive, Little Xander, survive."

“I can't though, Grandpa, I can't! Just take me with you, I don't want to be here anymore!"

“Yes you can, Xander, yes you can! You must!"

“NO!" He then held me firmly before he spoke again, this time in a harsh stern voice that stopped me in my tracks.

“Listen to me now! You can and will survive! And I will here, nothing else, you hear me Alexander!"

“But-"

“Don't dare say anything aside from 'yes I will survive' you understand me!?"

I could only nod my head in affirmation as I mouthed a yes. Grandpa then smiled again and pulled me into a tight hug.

“Good, Little Xander good! Make me proud and remember to survive no matter what and no matter the cost! Survive always and never regret the things you must do to do so! Understand?"

“Yes Grandpa I do. I promise you I will survive."

“Thats my Alexander and I love you always, no matter where I am." He said as he held me hands before giving me a kiss on the forehead.

As he pulled back, something was vastly different. I saw orange and black above me and a snout with ears. Not my grandpa and I was no longer in my bedroom back home, but in my master's study and dread again came over me like a high tide.

“I want to go back!"

“I don't want to be here again!" As these frantic thoughts circumnavigated my head again and again, the orange and black mass above me spoke as my vision cleared, showing the face of a young fox with concern very evident in his amber, slit-like eyes. He looked like most foxes, but he had a brownish fuzz akin to that of a puppy's before they grow their adult coat, he also possessed a strong, almost skunk-like, musk which at first made my nose curl up in disgust, but after a while I got used the smell but it still lingered though.

Looking back now, I am not surprised as to the reason I got such a potent dose of fox-musk, as my head was laying on his lap just inches away from his unmentionables which also contained his scent glands and also for the fact that he was just leaving his childhood, being just eleven and was just becoming active in those areas, which back them I had no concept of, of course and yes one does get used to the smell after time or even grow a taste for it.

He looked genuinely worried about me and did not appear to want to harm me, but he was a fox, Grandpa always said they have a silver tongue and you should never trust them as they would charm you into chains, like how the fox tricked the monkey king into a hole and did not help him out again unless he gave him his crown.

“Hey, skin-kit, are you okay?" A whiny, yappy voice that was like the other foxes but even more higher pitched and would occasionally break into a deeper tone almost like how Maria's did.

I was filled with shock and jumped up out of the fox boy's lap, not wanting to be at a fox's mercy, scampering over to the couch and vainly trying, without successes to slip behind it while he looked on with a bewildered expression and cocked his head to the side. While doing all this I got to see the full body of this fox guy, he was taller than me by quite a bit maybe a head and half and was wearing a black pair of pants and a white tunic, I noticed right away these clothes were quite dirty as there was dirt and grass stains on his knees and his shirt was was similarly stained but also had some small holes in it.

“WHO ARE YOU!? GET AWAY FROM ME!" The fox immediately raised its paws up in an attempt to put me at ease but all I saw were those claws.

“Whoa now, kit! Theres no need to freak out now! You act as though I were some monster!" He said this last sentence with what sounded like a chuckle which did not help me calm down and I started to throw books and pillows at him which he agilely ducked like a pro without the slightest problem.

“Now, now, there's no need to be rude and you would not want me to tell master Gernan you were making a mess of his study, I'm sure he would punish you for it." After hearing this I quickly realizing what I was doing and how much trouble I would be in now and so started to cry again, fearing what would happen to me when this fox told Gernan.

“Oh no! What did I do! Oh Canis!" He sounded very scared now.

“Why are you leaking!? Did I break you!? Oh, Canis! Master and father will kill me!" He rushed up to me and looked like he was at a loss at what to do now looking left and right for anything to help.

“Oh, please stop! I beg you, please stop! I'm sorry!" he said this falling on his knees clasping his paws together and I felt for the first time a sense of power over this fox having him plead like this to me and very soon I felt in control enough to stop crying.

“Okay, so long as you don't tell on me!" The fox then looked extremely relieved at that.

“Deal!"

“Oh, and by the way, the name's Elyk"

“I am Alex- I mean Iska-"

“Oh, I know already, Iskander, Dad told me already." I did not like being cut of like that, it made me feel very upset but I kept it buried inside I didn't want to cause any more problems as it is.

“Now, lets get this mess cleaned up. You go pick up those pillows and I will get the books. Okay?"

I just nodded my head in response and did as he said, picking up each pillow and placing it back on the ornate couch in a somewhat normal order so as to not arouse any suspicion and made sure to leave a few on the floor where I would have sat. Once in awhile, I spied the fox putting the books back in the exact order they were found and it got me thinking.

“Maybe this fox is not too bad."

“Hey Iskander maybe when we're done I could give you tour of the place, would you like that?"

“Okay I would like that, uh, um, Elyk."

“Great, there are lots of rooms here and tons of places to play in! It's nice master's daughters got you for master, I always wanted a playmate, even though your a little on the short size, it's better than nothing that's for sure!"

“Hey! Take that back, you tricky fox!" Elyk turned around and gave a sly grin, showing a row of sharp, pearly whites which made me gulp in fear at the sight so much I surrendered my argument right away.

“Uh, never mind you're right!" And we both returned to tidying up the study again while I cursed my inner cowardice.

When we finally finished, Elyk grabbed me by the hand rather roughly.

“Come on! Let's go on that tour now, human!" He said as he dragged me out of the study into the hallway, nearly running into a group of servants that looked nothing like the wolves I have seen before. They were canine but smaller and some even had different colored fur and looked more like dogs, but I could not be sure as we zoomed past them. I was curious enough to ask Elyk though.

“Hey! Who were they?" We then slowed down a bit after I asked this.

“Oh, them? They're just servants like us."

“I could figure that one out! But they don't look like wolves."

“They're not wolves, silly human! They're dogs!"

“Dogs!?"

“Yeah, dogs from the Dog Kingdom."

“The Dog Kingdom!?" Elyk gave a rather annoyed huff before speaking again.

“Yes, the Dog Kingdom! Canis, don't you know anything!?"

“Well I'm so sorry! I was just taken a few months ago!"

The fox then pulled back, almost dragging me up the stairs before we entered a very familiar room, Gernans bedroom, where we found Pantaleon putting together a small, single bed at the foot of the main bed. It was like a day bed, almost, but had a blanket and pillow, I figured this was going to be mine. But to be honest it did not look too bad.

“Oh, hey, father!"

“Elyk, what in Canis's name are you doing to master Grenan's human!" Pantaleon, in a frantic tone, almost yelled, in the process dropping a tool he was using to put together the bed, which made a load bang on the floor that caused both foxes' ears to twitch.

“Oh, dad, I'm just giving Iskander a tour of the place! You act as though I am hurting him."

“Well, you'd better not now or else you would not hear the end of it from both of us!"

“Yes, father, I know"

As I was being dragged around the bedroom, being shown all the Gernan's mementos, I saw a dagger laying on one of the many tables in the bedroom. Elyk noticed me eyeing it right away

“That's Master Gernan's favorite dagger. It was gifted to him by the Alpha for all his serves to the Alphate." It was a beautiful thing, the handle and sheath were gold and encrusted in semi-precious gems of blue and green. It was magnificent in it's glory.

Then Elyk pulled me over to a portrait of a female wolf wearing her best clothing of white with pearls everywhere and there were even pearls on the gold frame of the portrait. It was truly a sight she had such a noble bearing and seemed to command all those who viewed the portrait.

“Who is she?" Elyk was quiet for some time before he spoke again in a sad tone so unlike the one he had before

“The former Mistress Gernan's mate. She became one with the moon a few years ago." I did not have to understand the religion to know what that meant.

“The Master does not like to talk about her much, it's too painful for him, so please don't ask him about her." I only nodded my head and we returned to the tour again, this time Elyk showed me Gernan's hunting trophies which were in a big hall downstairs adjacent to the dining room, study and quite near the entrance hall of the manor. He pointed out each one and told me how Gernan felled each, though I had the feeling he was exaggerating once in a while, especially when he said he helped Gernan with a few of them. I did not pay much attention to most of these stories I was fixated on that dagger for some reason.

The fox then proceeded to take me to the kitchen which was quite a large room, much bigger than what we had at home back on Safehaven. There were tables and cabinets everywhere, as well as a water pump which I was fascinated by since I had never seen anything like it before as we had to get water from the well back home, and at the far end I saw the entrance to what looked like a cellar next to a large fire place in fact there were many fireplaces here which made sense for cooking food for such a large place.

“Elyk, come over here!" I heard a feminine yappy voice call from out of sight in the kitchen.

“Yes mother, I'm coming!" it was then I caught sight of the owner of the voice a slender vixen bright orange wearing a simple brown dress with an apron siting in a chair in the corner of the room. She was, I had to admit, very beautiful, slender and thin with a dainty tail swaying side to side behind her. Grandpa told me about the charms of vixens and how bewitching they are, how hard they are to resist and how one should be careful around them. But whenever I asked Grandpa's why vixens charms are so dangerous, he would pause and clear his throat for a moment before saying he would tell me when I got older.

“Ah, so this must be the little human kit Panta was talking about. Not as scary as he made him out to me, I see now." She spoke very kindly, it felt nice hear such a motherly voice like this and it put me at ease, but I then realized this might be a vixen's trick to lure me in.

“Come here now, I won't hurt you." She cooed to me in her motherly tone. Not wanting to get in trouble by not listening, I approached her, my head barely making it up past her lap and I started feeling small again.

The vixen looked down at me with those orange eyes, hers were a lighter shade of it though, almost light brown unlike Pantaleon's bright orange ones. She then reached down and cupped my chin in her slender, padded fingers before she lowered her muzzle to the top of my head and took a few sniffs of me. After that, she then began to lick my forehead before returning up in a normal siting position, but still cupping my chin and giving me the occasional stoke on the head.

“What an interesting scent and taste! And what a cutie you are!"

“Uh, thank you, umm, uh."

“Iahle, you can call me Iahle."

“Thank you, Iahle."

“I see you have already met my naughty kit, Elyk! It would be wise not to do as he says, little Iskander!"

“Mother! You're ruining my fun!"

“Now, now, Elyk don't be cross now! And don't go bullying this poor human either!"

“Ugh, okay, Mother!"

“Come on, Iskander, let me show you the garden out back!" He then lead me out a back door in the kitchen into the afternoon sun, which shone down on us. A slight gust of wind tingled my skin and made Elyk fur ruffle a bit. It was a wonderful day, not a cloud in sight in the blue sky.

All around me was the old wolf's garden. It was not like the gardens back home, which were just used for growing vegetables, but was full of trees, bushes and flowers of all kinds neatly arranged around a bubbling stream flowing to a small pond with lilies and rushes growing all around it. Surrounding the whole garden on all sides were covered walkways and behind those were the walls of the manor and its other rooms.

It was all so peaceful and I felt so tranquil at the sound of the water. I could not believe this garden was owned by a wolf or an Anthro no less! I was so much in a trance I did not hear Elyk calling me.

“Hey! Are you listening!?"

“Oh, sorry!"

“I'm saying this is where we could play sometimes if you would like?"

“Uh, okay, but not now though."

“Ugh! You're such a killjoy, but okay." It was then I decided to wander around and explore the garden on my own while Elyk did his own thing, playing with some wooden wolf soldiers in the grass next to the pond.

I went to every bush, flower and tree looking and touching every one, flowers of all colors and shapes were present in this place, each one seeming to cry out for my attention and look at it. I could scarcely believe how may there were here, bushes with masses of red flower with thorns, brilliant blue ones blossoming from the depths of the pond to ones that looked like three triangular petals with a round petal in front in with a splattered paint coloring on a shooting stem from a base of waxy leaves. It was all truly a paradise to me, unlike anything I have ever saw before.

I was then I noticed a large shed next to a tree of weeping leaves and decided to go see what was inside, all the while looking at the plants around me at the entrance to the shed.

As I walked in, and not paying too much attention of what was in front of me, I walked into something soft that caused me to fall backwards and when I looked up at what it was I just wanted to die right there and then.

It was a massive bear towering above me! An enormous beast with long claws on its hands and feet and I just walked into it and was now in a vulnerable position at its feet! I remember being told how vicious they are and how they could rip an army of hundred apart in just a few minutes and I just ran into one! And was most likely going to suffer the same fate now!

I screamed, while I tried to get up, only to fall back down on my face on the stone path. In my panic I began to cry again, like the coward I am, hoping maybe this fierce bear would take pity on my child tears while begging for my life. It was then I heard a very deep voice come from above me.

“OH NO! Please don't be scared of me, little cub! I won't hurt you! Please don't!" Then the brown mass came down to me, lowering itself to my level as I felt two large arms wrap around me, lifting me up and holding me in a tight hug as I felt him rock me side to side like one would do the a crying baby.

“Oh, please don't cry, I wont hurt you cub! I'm a nice bear, I promise!" His words were so unlike that I would expect a big bear to utter, soft and kind and I felt not as much in danger any more at hearing them, but I was still startled and crying despite this. Then there was another voice, which I reorganized as Elyk, sounding very frantic and scared at what was the commotion.

“WHAT'S GOING ON!?"

“ISKANDER!? WAIT, HAROLD!?"

“Oh, Elyk! I don't know, the little human just ran into me and started crying! Did I hurt him!? Please tell me I didn't!" It was around this time I started to calm down and my crying started to stop much to the relief of the bear called Harold, who spoke.

“He's stopped leaking water! Is that a good sign Elyk?"

“I think so Harold, he did it once with me and he stopped."

Then I finally calmed down after a few minutes of whimpering. The bear named Harold let me go, standing on my own, though wobbly from my fright and Elyk holding me to prevent me from falling again. I was able to get a good look at this bear guy's face now and it was not as fierce as I first imagined it to be when he was looming above me, he had a big round head with those typical bear ears on top, twitching once in a while but he also had these bright green eyes that were full of innocence and were teeming with worry and sadness about me. He looked terrified at the thought he hurt me in anyway.

“What a strange bear." I though to myself, finding a kindly bear just down right weird. How on earth did he survive with his kind of a nature? He was almost pathetic when compared to the stories I heard about the bears and their fierceness, it was kind of funny, so much so that I began laughing, much to the confusion of Harold and Elyk who looked at each other wondering what's going on with me.

“Ha ha ha! You're a bear!" It was a few moments before he answered back with a worried tone.

“Uh, um, yes."

“But you're so unlike a bear! They should be big and mean!"

“Well, I know. I got a lot of that from my brothers before I came here, but I like flowers more than fighting." The last part of this sent me back into laughing again, a bear who likes flowers how ironic.

“I know, I know." He said in a dejected tone, ashamed of himself which made me feel really bad for making fun of him as I remember my mother always told me that was wrong and would scold me for it.

“No, no I'm glad you're like this, don't be sad, I'm sorry!" I jumped and gave him a hug, which made him lighten up quite a bit, then Elyk piped in with his signature tone.

“Well, I see you two have now met! Iskander, this is Harold the gardener and Harold, this is Iskander, master Gernan's new human pet." The bear smiled warmly at me and I no longer felt scared in the slightest anymore, though Elyk's remark about me being the “new pet" was stinging me like a bee sting and I wanted to turn around and bat his head in for saying it, but I soon forgot it in the irony of this big, sissy bear and looking at him he was kinda cute looking now. I didn't find him scary in the anymore. It was the bear again that spoke

“AWW! He's such a cutie, I never seen a human cub before, he's just too cute! No wonder Gernan is warming up and becoming more happy now."

“Yeah, you can say that again, today was the first time in a long time Master had a spring in his step. You should have heard how Master was doting on him awhile ago"

“Really!?"

“Yeah I was watching the whole thing from the bedroom hallway and my father was so scared at first of the little human!"

“I'm not surprised at that, Elyk, your father has been threatened by that Jao as well, he probaly thought he was one of his spies at first."

“Yeah you're right."

“Hello I'm right here you know? Must you talk about me like I am not here!" I thought to myself, greatly annoyed at all of this.

“Well, you two cubs should be going now, I've got to go back to work trying to germinate the seeds of this new flower I got from the Tigris Kingdom and you know how picky plants from the south-east are."

“Okay, flower boy!" Elyk taunted before dragging me off again, this time to play with him and his figures for a few hours until I got pretty tired and wanted to take a nap, so Elyk took me back to Gernan's study and left me there so I could rest from my exciting day until Master could return.

“The lord is back! Master is back!" These words accompanied by the pitter-patter of bare paws on the wood floor outside the study's door were what finally roused me and looking towards the window I found it dark.

“It must be evening!"

I jumped up from the floor and fell down from my grogginess a few times but I finally managed to be my balance myself long enough to lumber over to the sliding door and slide it open so I could peek out towards the main entrance of the manor, lit with lamps and candles on the wall flickering, to see my master there, along with Pantaleon helping take off this bulky court robes and headdress. I noticed right off something was wrong as my master had a sour look and was emitting a low growl of anger and the skin on his upper muzzle was folded up barring his teeth. Seeing him like this was extremely frightening and it brought back memories of the wolves who captured me and I saw Gernan as a monster like this.

I was not the only one who picked up on this, as Pantaleon was quickly on it, asking many frantic question and overall acting terrified and worried.

“Master! Master! Gernan whats wrong!? Your hackles are up!"

“I"LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG! THAT DAMN SKIN-FAG OF A CONSORT!" Gernan roared so loud that it caused me to jump and shake like a leaf.

“Chief human consort Jao? What happened!?"

“Do you know who was waiting for me at the forum!?"

“The consort?"

“No, Pantaleon! You know humans aren't allowed inside the forum! It was that damned Ursine eunuch of his!"

“Him!?"

“Yes, him! Canis damn him! And he threatened me right there in the middle of the forum for all to see and hear!"

“What did he say!?"

“That if I care for my life and honor I should withdraw from my pursuit of being the Prime Beta, leave the capital and retire from politics for good, or else I would suffer the consequences and ending with saying the consort hold true power in the Alphate and will not share it with me!"

“The gall that human has!"

“Yes, I know, I regret the day I gave him to the Alpha! The Alphate will not be safe unless that meddlesome human is removed from it like the cancer he is!" Hearing all these hateful words make me scared for my life, he was talking about a fellow human like this, did he think the same way about me?

“Don't worry Gernan, you will get rid of that human one day."

“That's the thing Panta, I am worried. Everyday he spits poison into the Alpha's ear, slowly turning my old friend against me and it's very worrying, he is starting to look at me differently, I can see it!"

“Don't you say such things! Wuffrim has known you longer than that blasted human, this will all pass and that human will not last, you know how fickle the Alpha is when it comes to his concubines."

“You have said that for years now! And yet he still remains like a rock in a storm defying all odds! Funny, if he weren't my nemesis I would admire him, but still, look at how may pretty and handsome wolves and humans he has killed to make sure he is number one in the harem!"

“Yes, you're right, but all it takes is one wrong move or mistake and he will be gone and he's bound to make one, I am sure of it."

“Yeah you're right, Panta! Jao can't win all the time! Thank you, my old friend, you always put my mind at ease."

“No worries, Master, I'm here if you need me." With this, Master calmed down and his voice was less raging and his hackles were now down, but I was still scared of him after seeing this show of brute anger. For a wolf, he might have been old but he still has teeth and this showed it more then I wanted to see.

“Now, Panta where's my human Iskander?" Gernan spoke as he looked around and I quickly ducked my head back in so he would not see me. I would not want to get in trouble for listening in on something I clearly should not hear.

“Oh, last I saw he was taking a nap in your study, also I got his bed put together and dinner is waiting in the dining room too."

“Aw, how sweet! He must be all tuckered out from your kit! I think I will bring in my food and eat in my study with him as I got a gift for him!" Hearing this I quietly power walked to the pillows on the floor and pretended to be asleep and waited for my master to come in and he did after a few minutes.

“Iskander, wake up I'm home!" He said to me in a cutesy voice as I opened my eyes and saw him carrying two dishes and a small box which he set down on a low table in front of me and after that started to light some of the lamps giving the room much needed light.

“Master, you're back!" I said feigning surprise.

“Yep, and I also brought your dinner too. I decided to eat with you this time" I noticed this time both dishes were cooked, even Gernan's this time.

“So, they do eat cooked meat." I thought as he took his seat next to me on the couch behind me, gently scratching my head, which I must admit felt really good despite my inner self telling me not too enjoy it. While we began to eat our meals he spoke again.

“Now, were you a good human today?" The subject of the question was deeply humiliating, but I had to answer despite my bubbling anger, I did not want to face that wrath I just witnessed aimed at me.

“Uh-huh, Master!" I managed to utter, nearly choking on my words as they came out of me, I as so ashamed of myself.

“If you want to, you can call me daddy instead." Now this really got me upset as it was not so long ago my father died and this burned me like nothing before, but I managed to swallow my pride and indignation and uttered out a word that I wish would strike me down!

“Y-yes da-daddy." Master gave a pleased sigh and patted my head for good measure while I felt just awful inside.

“Forgive me, father, forgive me!" I thought to myself while I ate, even though I wanted to throw it all up from what I just said.

We both had just finished eating when Gernan spoke again.

“Wait, I almost forgot your present and since you were a good little human I think you deserve it!" He then picked up the box that was on the table and proceeded to open it up while speaking to me excitedly.

“Before I went to court, I had a little time to go to the market and happened upon a little shop just for human things. It was a really quaint place full of all sorts of things: toys, treats and collars just for humans used as pets! I think I will go there from now on when I need things for you." He then pulled out a white collar that did not even look like one, it looked more like a nice necklace choker, but it was obviously a collar after I got a good look at it as it had a lock at the back.

“Lets take off that nasty metal one you have now off, it must have been killing you!" He said as he pulled out a rusty key wrapping his hand behind my neck and then heard a click and with that, my old collar fell off, landing in my lap like it was taunting me.

“There we go, lets give this new one a try now, shall we?" I only nodded my head, too humiliated to say that word again. The wolf carefully clasped it around my neck and to my great and grudging surprise, it was extremely soft around my neck as the inside was padded with small pillows of fabric.

“They had another one I liked there, but it had bells and I figured that would get annoying for you, especially when you're sleeping so I got this one instead." I must say I was happy he did not pick that one, it would make my humiliation even worse I am sure of it. But still the one he picked was not too bad I could get used to this one.

“Don't you dare Xander!"

“It's nice mas- Daddy!" Gernan smiled.

“Aw you're welcome, Iskander! You're such a good human aren't you?"

“I am! I am!" I franticly yipped like some kind of dog.

“Aw, good! Now lets go to bed now your probably very tired now! And tonight you will have your own bed!" The wolf picked me up and carried me out while I tried to think of an escape to this humiliating torture when a thought erupted in my like a newborn star in the night sky.

“The dagger! I can end this right now!" The dagger was like a key out of this. All I had to do was what Deven said. Create an 'accident'. Kill this wolf.

“But can I do it?"

“Promise me, you will be brave now!"

“Little Xander, my strength runs through your veins!"

“Xander, always survive!"

“I can do it! And I will!"

Later that night, after I was put in my small bed at foot of Gernan's, getting a view of his rather large four-toed paws above me, reminding me I was literally at his feet like a dog back home further convinced me I had to do this.

“I don't want to be a pet!" But of course I had no plan for what I was going to do afterward though, which was stupid of me I have to admit now, and I would not make it far before I was captured and most likely killed for murdering my master. But I did not care, I want this wolf to die for making me call him “daddy" and treating me like this. He deserves it! He's no better than the Wolves who killed my father and ruined my life!

“I will be brave, I will do this! I will avenge father and grandfather!"

So I quietly got up and tip-toed to the small table that I saw that dagger on and to my relief, it was still there in all its jeweled glory.

Picking it up slowly, I carefully unsheathed it, exposing the sharp silver blade that had a curve to it. This was it, I thought to myself as I walked to the side of the bed where that wolf slept on his side. I was scared, but was sure of myself as I reached the bedside, dagger in hand. I was going to do this. I was going to end it all, everything in one swift motion.

Lifting the dagger up all the while following it up with my eyes the whole time, it was all like in slow motion to me and it felt like I was holding the dagger up for hours, imagining the freeing feeling when the deed was done, imagining all my fears, worries and pain going along with this wolf into death.

Then I looked down to take aim and finish him, but was confronted by not a wolf, but a human!

My grandfather! Laying there instead! I jumped back dropping the dagger which hit the carpeted floor with a muffled thud.

I blinked and it was the wolf Gernan again, but seeing grandpa there for a split second sucked all the will out of me and I realized that this old wolf was like my grandfather in so may ways and killing him would be no better than killing grandpa. This wolf was more human than I wanted to believe and I just realized it just as I was about to senselessly murder him like the monsters I ascribed them to be in the first place.

I would take a father away from two daughters, a friend from Pantaleon, a master from all his servants, casting them into uncertainty like that bear? He might no be a gardener for his new master and he will lose all joy in life and Elyk too, he might be separated form his parents just like I was and all for what? Nothing! I would be killing myself as well, I would not get off for this at all. I would break Grandpa's promise! To always survive!

“I can't! I just can't do it!"

“But what am I going to do though!? I want my mommy and daddy! I want Grandpa! I want to go home!"

Unable to contain myself any longer here, I just ran out of the room, not knowing or caring where I was going or where I would end up in the long run of thing. Just running, throwing open doors and nearly tripping down the stairs and occasionally falling on my face. But I did not care, I wanted to get away from it all and just vanish from this horrible, unfair world where all my hopes and dreams were null.

Bursting through a door, I found myself in the garden with the sound of rushing water in the background. I was happy to be here, this was the only place here I felt calm and at ease and it felt even better without “them" here to remind me that I am only an inferior human and that I was a pet to a wolf.

I stopped at the base of the tree of drooping branches and leaves. It looked like it was feeling the same as I was, weeping. I curled up into a ball nestled between two large roots and let it all come out, everything, all my pain I had kept in. My tears wet the earth below me, hoping the tree would understand what I was going through as I hugged its trunk, wishing it was daddy. Crying out loud in a voice full of anguish.

“I want to go home!"

“Does anyone care for me at all!?"

“Is there any hope at all in the world!?"

……..

……..

“Yes there is little pup there is."