“Ah! Canterlot! The capital of culture, refinement, luxury and taste. It's been so long since we've been here, hey Fluer De Lis? You can't say you haven't missed it at all. The adoring fans. The balls. The concerts. The plays. It's positively invigorating!"

Fluer De Lis didn't answer, preferring to stare out the window of the carriage.

“What's the matter? You haven't spoken a single word since-“

“Oh, forget you, Shine!" she snapped at her manager. “Where in Tartarus's name were you? I've been driven around this forsaken city, all alone mind you, for six hours, making stops at market places and second-rate venues the entire time!"

“You…weren't alone." Shine Finder said nervously. “You had your bodyguard Bulk with you the entire time."

“Oh, you know what I mean!" she scoffed. “He's barely suitable company for somepony such as I!"

“Well at least I'm here now!"

“Yeah…what a relief."

She turned again to the window, continuing her sulk session. Shine Finder, a light blueish stallion with a slicked back mane, moved in his seat uncomfortably.

“So? Where were you?" she said without even the thought of turning to him.

“I had some business to attend to."

“Business?"

“Yes. Business."

She made an incoherent sound. “Aph! Business? What kind of business? I am your business! What could be more important that making sure all my needs are fulfilled?"

“Are your needs unfulfilled?"

“No. But that isn't the point!"

Shine Finder let out an exhausted sigh. “What is the point then?"  

“The point…" she began with the most condescending tone she could muster “…is that I am not enjoying myself. This place has never been worse!"

“You're exaggerating." He waved his hoof at her. “Besides. You will soon change your attitude when you hear that I managed to get you a ticket to Marquis Claret Yen's masquerade ball tonight."

She huffed.

“You aren't excited?" he asked, curious and disappointed.

“The Marquis's balls have gone downhill, as well as the entire city."

“Mmm…what makes you say that? You haven't been to one in quite some time-"

“I was at the last one." She cut him off. “He has started inviting griffins and changelings to his little gatherings."

“Is…that a problem?"

“No, not at all. If you like degeneracy and barbarism" she answered with annoyance.

“His balls have always been a bit on the…lecherous side…"

“Oh, you know what I mean!" she snapped once more. “The entire capital has gone to the dogs ever since they started welcoming griffins and changelings and hippogriffs with open hooves!" she turned once more to the window. “It won't be long soon and we will all start eating off the ground and engaging in tribal orgies in the middle of the street."

Shine Finder coughed uncomfortably. “As I said…the balls are a bit…unsavory at times." He rubbed the back of his neck. “Where is all this coming from anyway?"

Fluer De Lis didn't answer. She didn't see the need to. She knew that she had a point. And she knew Shine Finder could see it. That new princess, Twilight Sparkle, was going to destroy pony society by the end of the year.

“You know, Fleur, you should be careful with those statements. We don't need any more controversies on our hooves. Things could get ugly pretty quickly."

Fleur straightened up. “Forget I said anything. I'm a professional. I can deal with all this. Where's our next stop?"

“Last stop for the day. A new yak restaurant-“

“Oh, for fuck's sake!"

“Fleur, don't be like that."

“It's a damn yak restaurant!"

“Listen. I'm going to give you five minutes to drop all this racist crap. Understand?"

She huffed and stayed silent, her scowl unchanging.

“Besides. The place has received great reviews! It's the talk of the town! All you need to do is make an appearance, get yourself a salad or whatever they have and we can go."

“Fine, fine. I won't make a big deal out of it…I'm a professional."

“Indeed, you are." Shine Finder smiled with a click of his tongue accompanied by a wink.

“I just hope the Marquis still has stocks of his personal rose wine."

“Undoubtably, he will."

Their trek through the city streets continued in silence, with the occasional mundane question by Shine Finder and the reluctant answer given. It had been a long day. A day filled to the brim with visiting museums and restaurants she had been to an uncountable number of times, all so she could fulfill her contractual obligations, greet fans and take photos with celebrities towards who she had lukewarm feelings at best and utterly despised at worst. At least the day was coming to a close.

The carriage went on through the paved roads, turning here and there, crossing main roads, side roads and finally entering the back alleys of the capital. Fluer didn't expect much.

“We're here!" Shine exclaimed as the carriage parked.

Shine Finder jumped out of the carriage, Fluer following behind. Almost running, he went down the street, turning corners and passing by all manner of shops and stalls, Fluer barely managing to keep up.

It felt like they were going in circles and at some point Fluer completely lost sight of her manager. She thought she saw him go down that alley. Was that him going through the tunnel? Maybe he went left here? That was his shadow to the right, wasn't it? It got darker and darker. Figures. A yak opening a restaurant in the cheapest possible location. Still, there were no other ponies here. She just might have gotten lost. There was a light at the end of that path over there.

She quickened her pace. It finally got brighter. And warmer. Very warm. It was only natural for a tunnel to get very warm, but the air was dry as well. Very strange.

Amidst the illuminated cobble halls, she stepped with a weary trot. She was most definitely lost now. She couldn't really go back the way she came, since she didn't know from where she came. Still, at least she had the excuse to not go to the restaurant.

She continued on, a certain sense of disgust overshadowing her weariness. A disgust brought forth by all the mold around the corners, the greenish puddles she had to walk around and the occasional rat that would scatter into the holes in the wall.

But then something caught her eye. A gold piece. Yes, gold. Bits were mostly copper with a very low percentage of gold mixed in there. And, to what might seem like a surprise to most of her fans, she had a very extensive knowledge of metallurgy. Mostly so she could spot fake jewelry, but it had slowly grown into a sort of hobby.

She continued on, levitating the gold piece by her side. And then she saw another coin. And soon after one more. Next, she saw three. Then five. Then a pile. Then a mound. And finally, what could be described as a hill.

“Damn."

Gold. Jewels. Coffers bursting with coin. Ornamented goblets. Luxurious trinkets and fine necklaces.

Somepony had quite the stash here. Could be the lair of bandits. But no bandit would simply hoard his treasure. Rather, he'd most likely spend it all in the tavern.

Flur's neck hair stood on edge when she heard a rattling from the piles of treasure. She slowly stepped back as the gold mounds shifted. She gulped. Gold coins slid as something emerged from the mountain. Something large. Something angry.

“Who steps in my domicile?" a grizzly voice spoke.

“Oh." Flur exhaled with relief.

A red dragon, five times her size, stood atop of his hoard of treasure. With yellow eyes filled with malice it gazed over the white unicorn.

“Who are you, marauder, and what are you doing in my lair?"

“You're joking, right?" Flur said with a scoff. “You don't know me?"

“I do not indulge myself in the political games of the overworld. So speak now before my patience runs out and I gore you on the spot."

“Wow. Rude." She clicked her tongue. “I am Fluer De Lis – the most famous supermodel in Equestria."

“Supermodel?" the dragon questioned.

“Yes. You do know what a supermodel is, right? Even dragons can't be that uncultured than to not know simple words."

The dragon grit his teeth. “Your tongue is quite loose for one so small. I suggest you be more respectful when in the presence of one with true power-“

“Oh, please!" she cut him off. “Power-shmaller. I see dragons everyday, twice as big as you and with much less sass. Get a grip."

“You lie!" the dragon roared with anger. “No dragon would ever speak with one such as you, much less do it on the daily!"

“A-are you serious? How long have you been here? Do you even know what year it is?"

“Vetramar is ancient! I am the baron of the Dustlands, arch-duke of the boneyards of Krowl! Sorcerer-king of the eternal gardens! Time is fluid for one such as me. Your mere existence is just a speck of a speck in comparison to my life."

“Ahaaa…" she droned. “So…you are saying that you don't know that there are dragons in Canterlot? They have been basically integrated into pony society."

“Pfa! More lies! No dragon would stoop so low-“

“How can you not know that? This area has been renovated countless times for the past fifty years. How long have you been living here?"

“I have ruled over this land for a millennium at the least, child. My rulership has been both-“

“That's impossible. What have you been eating here?"

“Rats and mushrooms mostly" the dragon said with a subdued tone.

Flur looked around. There a few rat skeletons lying around. And there was a pile of mushrooms growing in the corner. It was slowly starting to make sense.

“Right. You're insane."

“Vetramar is nothing of the like!"

“You've been living in a sewer, barely eating anything of value and getting high on wall fungus. Your brain has turned to jelly."

“The arrogance of you! My mind is sharp as ever! Best you leave my domain, before I smite thee!"

“Oh, trust me, I would gladly leave this dump if I knew the way out! I'm so sick of all the sludge everywhere, the rats, the smell of feces, the fucking heat! Point me the way out and I'm gone. You can rule your fucking imaginary kingdom of dead rats and brain rot!"

“You really wear my patience thin. But Vetramar is a merciful lord. There!" The dragon raised his claw, pointing to a tunnel. “That path will lead you to the overworld. Now leave, before I change my mind, little whelp!"

“Pff. Good riddance." Flur said and she trotted off. “God damn, fucking, shroomhead lizard fuck."

The dragon's eye twitched.

“Little unicorn, please do tell, have you ever had a sunburn before?"

“What?" she turned, annoyed at the question.

“It's a simple question. Have you ever had a sunburn before?"

She narrowed her eyes and turned towards the exit once more.

“I do not allow my beauty to be so easily diminished. I've never had a sunburn, no. And I don't plan to." She trotted forward, scoffing at the notion.

The dragon took a deep breath and spewed out a torrent of flame. Or so he believed. The years living underground and unhealthy eating as well as the excessive use of wall fungi has left his flame quite weak. But it was strong enough to do the job.

Fluer De Lis ran screaming, her butt set ablaze. She ran and she ran for what felt like hours to tone of the dragon's laughter. Galloping through the tunnels, she saw a light at the top of stony steps. She ran up the stairs, hitting a wall, bursting out of a bunker, running through a busy street, leaving behind her a trail of smoke and some very confused bystanders.

The moment she laid eyes on it, the dashed straight to the fountain in the square, jumping inside and extinguishing the flame. A quick moment of cool relief, as she finally finds peace of mind. And then came the pain from the burns. Without much thought and still in shock, she climbed on top of the fountain and sat on a water jar spewing water, held by a mighty herculean earth pony made of bronze. The water was much colder at the source and did grant her the relief she sought.

“Hey! Isn't that Fluer De Lis!"

Oh, fuck.

A crowd started gathering around the fountain taking pictures and yelling out questions at the unicorn. And there he was - Shine Finder. Looking as confused as anyone else around.

First thing she would do tomorrow is put out a complaint to the police for assault and squatting.

First thing she would do tonight was get hammered at the ball.