Current Track: Blabb
KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS
>Muscles pounding
>Concrete shuddering as you force earthquakes into the sidewalks
>Your legs burning, seared with lactic acid
>Cars whistling by you
>Cold wind blowing stray leaves into your face
>There’s a storm coming
>Above you
>And behind you
>You’re out of breath when you tumble through the automatic doors of the Shop N’ Save
>Humans and anthros dodge out of your way, jockeying groceries in their swinging arms
>You don’t have the time nor the inclination to apologize to them, because you narrowly dodge a furious and powerful lion swipe at your chest
>Lydia caught up unsurprisingly fast
>Her glistening claws go wide, tearing into a Moose’s plastic bag, freeing nearly a dozen oranges
>They tumble to your feet
>”You’re really going to drag this out in front of all these people, aren’t you?” She roars, taking another swipe
>You duck this one just like you duck responsibilities — with ease and grace
>Someone from the assembled crowd moves to grasp the furious lion — a human teenager in a boyscout uniform
>He gets one arm on the lion before being completely swarmed by ravenous cheerleaders
>They tackle people to the ground indiscriminately, gnawing at their sensitive and exposed flesh
>”Coward! Hiding behind people!” Lydia wheels around, her face tightened in unbridled frustration
>She seems to be upset that she can’t control her ‘flock’
“You got the wrong guy, honey. I’m not a coward.” You swiftly bend down and grab an orange off the ground
>You shear it in half with only a tiny bit of your strength, exposing the citrusy, sweet meat of the fruit
”I’m not a coward. Just an asshole.”
>You lunge forward, practically jumping into Lydia’s slavering maw
>Your arms push ahead of you, an orange-half in each hand
>You dig the oranges into Lydia’s widening, eye-liner-caked eye sockets
>For good measure you even twist a little bit, really smearing that juice in there
>Lydia fucking SCREECHES and then gives you a pained shove
>You stumble backwards, falling right onto your ass
>The lion drops to her knees like they were made of lead, her hands darting to her now inflamed eyes
>Now’s your chance to run!
>You rise up to your full height and prepare to bolt out the door
>But the cheerleaders appear at the flanks of the lion, blocking your way back out into the parking lot
>You sigh
>Fucking hell
>You turn on a heel and sprint deeper into the store

>What’s the plan here?
>Just run until they swarm you?
>You can’t possible take all of them
>Fuark brah, you’re in it now
>You blur past helpless shoppers, spinning with strange grace around them in the crowded aisles
>The horde of ravenous anthro cheerleaders, on the other hand, acts more like a wrecking crew
>They mow down everyone in their path, unleashing mad cackles and frustrated hisses as they practically scramble atop one another
>You manage to lose them by diving over a knee-height meat cooler and hiding behind it
>The sound of their parting hisses sends your heartbeat over the edge
>You feel like you’re going to pass out
>And now you’re trapped as they tear down each aisle, hunting for you
>God DAMNIT
>You can’t take them all
>And Lydia is probably up by now, looking for you, ready to eat you alive with bloodshot and swollen eyes
>So this is where it ends?
>Trapped in the fucking Shop N’ Save?
>All alone, burned every bridge over troubled waters
>Your throat tightens and you wipe an embarrassing tear from your eye, feeling hot and angry
>You’re not scared or sad that you’re alone…
>…You tell yourself

>Your ears prickle with the sound of light footsteps sprinting your way
>Well, it’s over, they found you
>You stand up, prepared to fight for your life
>Though your body is tense, your heart’s not as strong, and it catches with the thought of your impending demise
>But when you see the source of the noise your jaw drops
>A thin, orange vixen with a stripe running down her fur and into her green sweater, is waving her arms, a phone glowing in one hand
>Her green eyes shimmer in the light, looking like two of the emerald beacons of hope
>She practically throws herself at you, wrapping her arms around your chest
>Her worry physically squeezes the air out of you
”Jenna?” You cough
>”Mike!” She squeals. “We finally found you! God am I glad to see you!”
>The slender vixen motions for you to drop down behind the cooler
>You and her both crouch low, out of sight
>”We’ve been scouring Ranchview looking for you,” she struggles to hide the excitement — and volume — of her voice
“Who is ‘we’?” You ask, concern rising in your voice. “Wait, fuck that, I don’t care. You can’t be here. It’s not safe.”
>”We know, we saw you on the run outside. You looked graceful. Like a gazelle,” she says with a shit eating grin
”Oh fuck off. Just get out of here before they see you with me. You’re in danger just by being with me.”
>But she doesn’t hear you. The fox presses her phone against her ears, which are folded back against her skull
>”I found him. We’re in the meat section. Can you steer them away?” She asks
>Her ears shoot upward in excitement like broad orange blades
>And you thought Sam had big, goofy ears
>”Got it. We’ll wait for the signal.” Her fingers swipe across the screen, ending the call
>Signal?
>A familiar voice crackles over the store PA system
>”Mike, get out of the snack aisle! They’re heading right for you!” He SCREAMS convincingly into the mic
>Oh my fuck
>It’s Alex
>And you’re nowhere near the candy aisle
>You peek up over the meat cooler
>Red-uniforms blur towards the other end of the store
>The cheerleaders hiss and cackle, thinking they’re about to have you cornered
>There’s some rumbling on the mic that pierces your ears, followed by a familiar sound.
>One you’re so familiar with that you groan
>Yep, it was Alex on the PA system alright
>He played this song to DEATH freshman year

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U06jlgpMtQs&list=PL9aXlzDRA49QKxgYsOV2JuDd410_nI-0J&index=16&t=0s
>”Alright, let’s go!” Jenna shoots to her feet and grabs you by the wrist
>Oh no you don’t
>You’re not getting rescued by a 5’5” vixen who you’ve got at least 60 pounds on
>You take off, dragging Jenna behind you like a doll being dragged from a moving car
>Perhaps you’ve only got a fraction of a second to make it out the door to safety
>But you’re not leaving without Alex

>Thankfully that commie dumbass finds you…
>…By running into you with a nearly FULL shopping cart as he emerges from the baking ingredients aisle without warning
>The thin metal of the cart catches you in the side, sending you stumbling
>Thankfully you let go of Jenna so you don’t accidentally yeet her across the store
>”COMRADE!” Alex cries, leaning over the shopping cart
>You suck air, barely holding back the urge to wring your friend’s thin neck
“Comrade Alexi,” you wheeze. “You doing some shopping right now? Because we gotta GO, you dumb bastard. Rabid cheerleaders-”
>”We’re just getting some supplies,” Jenna brushes herself off and hops into the cart like a little kid, ignoring your candid use of the ‘r word’
>What the hell is going-
>The pungent smell of garlic ASSAILS your senses
>You wince, fighting back vomit in your throat
>You look into the cart and see the entire bottom half is covered in raw white bulbs of garlic
>Jenna is rubbing her bare fur with a clove
>Mike is doing the same thing
>There’s also two water pistols, a super soaker, and a pack of water balloons pressed into the back of the cart
”The fuck is this shit?” You cry. “You guys getting ready for a pool party!?”
>”No time to explain!” Alex hops in and takes his seat in front of Jenna. “It’s the fox’s plan!”
>You can hear the cheerleaders shriek in frustration at not having found you — which only means they’re about to start scouring the store
>And then a lion’s roar sends you into a panic
>Oh good, Lydia is back
>A human’s voice crackles over the speakers as the music clips in and out before returning to ear-shattering volume
>”Attention shoppers, we’d like to apologize for the annoyance. Alex Mullen,” the voice says slowly. “I WILL find you once I figure out how to stop this.”
>Alex just raises his middle fingers to the sky
>”Sic semper tyrannis!” He cries defiantly

>You’re all dead
>Two cheerleaders — a cat and a horse — appear at the far end of the baking ingredients aisle
>They surge forward, directly at you
>And man, they can cover a lot of distance quickly
>”PUSH!” Jenna cries, directing a paw forward, right towards the cheerleaders
>Wat
>You shrug
>You’re all about to die anyway, so why the fuck not?
>Utilizing your vampiric strength you easily spin the cart so that the front is pointing down the aisle
>The fully loaded cart feels nearly weightless to you
>Alex rises up on shaky legs
>He plants one foot forward on the edge of the cart and levels a menacing finger towards the rapidly approaching cheerleaders (His other hand he uses to firmly affix his beanie to the top of his head)
>Comrade Alexi cuts loose with a yell
>”FORWARD UNTO DAWN, COMRADES! TSSSSUUUUUUUU!” He howls
>Jenna claps her hands over her ears in pain as the soviet anthem reaches ear shattering volume, as if in response to Alex’s deceleration
>You grit your teeth, sharing only a fraction of Jenna’s anguish
>Fuck it
>TTTTTTSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUU

>You don’t expect them to move out of the way
>And they don’t
>The cart flies down the aisle, propelled by your sheer determination to blow right through these cringy fucks
>And blow through them you do
>The cheerleaders slip underneath your cart as you bowl them over, their bodies acting like little demonic speed bumps
>You bank around the corner, threatening to hurl Jenna and Alex overboard
>Shoppers dodge like you were an oncoming car
>You might as well be, with how fast you’re going

>Aisles blur together in a multi-colored smear
>Somewhere along the line, Alex manages to grab a bag of Halloween themed chocolates off one of the shelves, but then drops it
>But you don’t slow down, not for a minute
>Hot on your heels are the cheerleaders
>Like red, horny little comets, they sprint after you
>And you can feel them gaining as you speed across the produce section
>Despite how strong you are, this cart is still dragging you down
>But you’ll be damned if you’re going to abandon your friends
>You squint hard at the double-wide main doors, muscles and lungs burning with equal intensity
>You’ve done enough running today for the rest of your life
>Jenna turns around, bouncing a garlic bulb in hand
“What are you doing!?” You shout, trying to compete with the Soviet anthem now on repeat, and the hushed swears of the store manager whispering underneath the song
>You look behind you
>A human cheerleader with auburn hair is grabbing for you, swiping just mere inches away from your shirt
>Her fingers are now more like claws than they are dainty, manicured fingernails
>A garlic bulb beans her in the center of her forehead
>The cheerleader tumbles gracelessly to the ground, yelping in agony
>”TAKE THAT YOU PRISSY BITCH!” Jenna says as she prepares yet another bulb for flight
>You can’t help but smile at the idea of Jenna swearing
>That gives you that extra push to explode out the front doors…
>…To freedom, leaving the Soviet anthem — and the cheerleaders — behind
>The little rush of dopamine you get from having ‘escaped’ doesn’t last long for two reasons
>1) You don’t have a plan after this, because loading up Jenna’s car and escaping would probably take too long
>2) Lydia Penferth, having somehow located Jenna’s minivan, has already ripped the hood off and is tearing savagely into the various components of the engine
>Jenna gasps, as well she should
>That van was worth at least $500
>It may even be shittier than Anon’s car
>”That’s my car!” She tries standing up, a garlic bulb in hand
>You force her back into a sitting position
>Lydia, slick with black oil and brackish fluid, starts to laugh when she sees your makeshift tank
>Her eyes are bright red — and not from any vampiric magic or rage
>From where you blinded her with some DIY mace
>”End of the line, kiddos. You’re not going anywhere.” she announces, starting forward. “Mike, I’m gonna enjoy hearing you squeal.”
>It was Alex who spoke, looking completely non threatening with his massive legs tucked against his chest to save room in the front of the rattling shopping cart
>He balances a garlic bulb in his right hand
>”I ain’t a good shot, but that doesn’t matter when I’ve got all this ammo,” he motions towards the cart. “I think you’d better quit before someone ends up smelling like an Italian dinner.”
>A frustrated growl slips out of the lion’s clenched teeth
>”You’re a coward. You’re all cowards. Come and fight me — no weapons,” she says
>”We may be cowards, but none of us are morons,” Alex retorts, not realizing that he himself is a moron. “Now if you don’t mind, we’ll be leaving in one piece.”
>Lydia raises a pierced eyebrow. “In a shopping cart?”
>”It’s more of a chariot,” he says
>”So this is the crowd you keep?” She looks at Alex, Jenna, and then to you
“These are the homies, minus two,” you reply
>”Won’t be a very fair fight, six on three,” Lydia says with a smirk
>”Six? Can you not count?” Alex says with a slight laugh
>A feline hiss from behind halts his idiotic laughter
>The three of you turn in unison
>The five cheerleaders have all assembled behind you
>They’re all trembling — but not from the cold air which you heave into your lungs
>But from anticipation
>Who knows what burns in their blood, other than hunger and lust for your mortal souls (and likely Jenna’s virginity)?
“Not even going to fight fair, are you?” You bark
>The lioness has only to point to her still bright-red eyes to make her point
>Ah yes
>That was clever, though not at all fair
>She snaps her fingers
>”Goodbye, Mike.”