Part 19

The void is infinite and empty. No sound, no light, no nothing. It is both terrifying and comforting to me at the same time. I float in the void as it fills my soul and body. I know no pain, no joy, I know nothing.

I don’t know how long I was there at the edge of existence. It could have been minutes or centuries I didn’t know, or care. Then out of the void a single light appeared in the distance. As I watched the light it grew larger and closer until it filled my vision and surrounded me in its glow.

As the light intensifies replacing the void with its white glow I feel my feet settle on a surface so that I am standing on something. I look around but everything is just white there are no landmarks of any kind here. Just an endless white world.

As I am standing there my memories come back in a rush, the trial, the creature coming out of Harandoom, the dagger piercing my chest. When I remember the dagger I look down at my chest but there is nothing. No dagger, no blood, no hole. It is as though I was never hit at all.

I rub a paw over my chest where the dagger hit me as a voice echoes around me, “Yes you were stabbed.” I spin around looking for the source of the voice and see a hooded figure walking towards me. I drop my hand as say, “Who are you? Where am I? What is this place?”

The figure walks up to me and lowers his hood revealing an old human man about four feet shorter than me. He looks up at with his wrinkled face and gives me a smile, “Who I am is not important, but you can call me Daniel. As for where you are…” He looks around us before looking back up at me, “You Seeker are at a crossroads.” He spreads his arms out gesturing to the space around us.

I look at him confused, “What do you mean a crossroads?” He folds his arms as he turns and starts walking, “Let’s take a walk.” Seeing as I don’t have much else to do I fall in step with Daniel.

For several minutes we walk in silence, though in this world of white I have no way of knowing how far we have traveled. Suddenly after I had grown used the silence he asks, “What is the last thing you remember before arriving here?” I swallow as I respond, “We had just finished announcing the judgment on Harandoom and his circle when something came out of him. Some kind of cloud or something. Everyone drew their weapons to fight, the cloud said my name. It threw a dagger that hit me in the chest and then everything went dark while I was looking up at my mate.”

He nods, “Shadow is still very upset and they are doing all they can to try and save you right now.” I stop dead in my tracks and look at him, “You mean… I’m dead?”

Daniel stops and looks up at me, “No you’re not dead. But you’re not alive either. You are at the crossroads between life and death and you have a choice to make.” I look at him confused, “What choice?” He smiles, “You have to choose if you want to give up and die and go on to what is after death. Or if you want you can fight for your life and continue like you were.”

I look at him dumbfounded, “I am being allowed to choose if I want to live or die?” He nods, “Not everyone gets this choice Seeker. But then not everyone’s life or death has such a big impact on the world.”

I raise an eyebrow and ask, “What kind of impact am I supposed to have?” He smiles, “Now Seeker, you of all people should know that you can’t be told your destiny.  But I want you to think about something.” He starts to pace back and forth in front of me, “When Atlantis was destroyed you were not there and as a result you became the last of your people.”

I nod, “Yes, and I have had to live with that fact for three thousand years.” He continues as though I hadn’t spoken, “The guilt you felt over not having been there has been a constant companion of yours for far too long.” As he says that another figure forms beside him but it is grey and smoky. Looking closer I see that it is me, but not me. It is like I am looking at a reflection of myself in dark water.

Daniel looks at this new figure, “This is your guilt and loneliness that has traveled by your side. You two know each other better than you ever should have.” He turns and another figure forms on his other side. This version of me is a brilliant gold and seems to be glowing with an inner light. Daniel smiles at this one, “This is the love and hope for the future that you only recently met when you met Shadow. You have barely got to know him.”

He turns and looks at me, “One of these will give you the chance to continue living, and the other will give you death so that you can leave all your pain behind and move on. But before you choose know that both choices have consequences that will affect not only you but all those you love and protect.”

With that Daniel raises the hood on his robe as he turns his back to me and walks away. I call out after him, “Wait, which one is what choice?” In a voice that is growing fainter he says, “The new is unknown like the future and will lead you to new destinies that none have seen. The old is a path that has been traveled by all and is known and feared by every person living.”

With that he vanishes into the white leaving me alone with the two versions of myself that stand before me expectantly. I look back and forth between them. As I look at the grey version of myself and see in his eyes all the pain and regret I have been running from for longer than I can remember. I lower my eyes and let out a pained sigh as I think about all my friends and family that died on Atlantis.

Wiping a tear from my eye I look at the gold version of myself and see in his eyes the love and joy I have experienced over the last few weeks with Shadow. Looking closer I also see the hope I have for the future. I catch glimpses of Aaron growing into a strong man. Of Jasper, Rick, Rosalie, Wolfie, and several others all standing proud in the armor of guardians giving salutes to a passing pair of wolves. Those wolves are Shadow and I dressed in our armor and clasping paws.

I know instantly that I am seeing a glimpse of a possible future and know that I have to do all that I can to make that future happen. I smile and say, “I am not ready to die yet. I still have fights to win and a future to build.”

With that the gold version smiles and holds out a paw. I place my paw in it and look at the grey version. He nods with a smile on his face and turns to follow the same path that Daniel took. As he leaves he disperses in a cloud of smoke and vanishes. I look back to the gold one who is smiling at me and says in my voice, “It is time we got to know each other better.” The gold light coming from him explodes out in all directions blinding me.

I get a sensation of falling then a sharp pain in my chest causing my eyes fly open with a strangled yell. Above me I see Shadow with tears falling from his eyes holding my hand as Jasper, Rosalie, and a wolf and human I don’t recognize are doing something to my chest. I can see Shadows mouth moving but I can’t understand what he is saying, the pain from my chest is blocking everything else from mind.

Movement catches my eye and I see Rosalie moving a bloody dagger away from my chest as another round of pain flows through me when the human and wolf I don’t recognize do something to my chest. This wave of pain is much greater than any I have felt before and my mind slips back into darkness. The last thing I see as my vision fades is Shadow saying something to me that I can’t hear.

……………..

A voice says, “He has been unconscious for three days, is there nothing we can do to try and wake him up?” Someone responds, “He has suffered a very deep wound, his heart and left lung were damaged. We did all we could now we just have hope he comes out of it on his own.”

As my hearing clears I begin to recognize the first voice as Shadow when he speaks again, “He is my mate and my Alpha. There has to be something more we can do.” The second voice, Rosalie, speaks up again, “Believe me Shadow I know how you feel. I have known him my whole life, he is like a second father to me. But all we can do is sit, wait, and hope.” She lets out a sigh and I hear a chair creak, “He is a tough wolf, if anyone can pull through this he can.”

With that I let out a small cough and say in a hoarse whisper, “Your damned right I can.” Opening my eyes I see that I am in my room laying on mine and Shadows bed. Rosalie is in a rocking chair by the window and Shadow is sitting on the foot of the bed.

Both of them turn to look at me with surprised looks when I speak. I force a smile and manage to say in the same whisper, “What, never saw a wolf talk before?” At once they are both at my side. Rosalie is taking one of my paws in her hands while Shadow takes the other.

They are both smiling at me and Shadow has tears in his eyes as he leans in and places a soft kiss on my lips. When he pulls back I ask, “How long have I been out of it?” Rosalie is the one to answer, “You have been unconscious for just over three days now. When we removed the dagger from your chest there was some damage done to your heart and lung.” I wince as I remember seeing her with the dagger, “I remember that.”

A cough racks my chest sending pain flaring within it. Shadow grabs a nearby glass of water and holds it for me. I grab it with both hands but my limbs are week and clumsy as I try and guide it to my mouth with his help. Eventually I get a mouth full of water that goes a long way towards soothing my throat.

Once my throat is less dry I manage to speak in a stronger voice, “What happened after that?” Rosalie sits down on the side of the bed while Shadow pulls up a chair and sits down in it taking hold of my hand again. She starts talking, “We were lucky that the village healer was there and that one of Alpha Steels pack is also a gifted healer. Between the two of them we were able to stop the bleeding as best we could. But it was still a slim chance you would survive.”

I lean my head back on the pillow as a sudden wave of exhaustion washes over me, “Sounds like a real fun time.” Just then the sound of snoring comes from where Shadow is sitting causing both Rosalie and me to look. She lets out a small laugh, “It’s about time he got some rest he hasn’t slept a moment since you were hurt. In fact he has barely left your side at all and only when someone dragged him away to get some food.”

I smile at my mate as he sleeps with his head resting on the back of the chair, “Can’t say that I would have been much better.” She lets out another laugh, “That’s what I finally had to tell Rick and Jasper when they threatened to haul him out this morning.”

She quietly gets up and heads for the door, “I’m going to let you two get some rest and tell the others that you woke up and are doing ok. But no visitors till you have slept some more.” I force a tired smile, “Thanks Rosalie… for everything.” She shrugs and says, “You would have done the same for any of us.”

She steps out the door closing it behind her. Through the door I hear her say, “Seeker woke up and is going to be fine but he needs some rest. So no visitors till tomorrow ok.” There is a collective murmur of excitement as what must be a dozen or more voice all talk at once.

I look at Shadow sleeping in the chair and squeeze his paw gently as I lay my head back down and close my eyes letting sleep take over. At that moment right as I fall asleep I hear Daniels voice from a great distance, “You chose well Seeker.”

……………..

The next morning I wake up to a soft knocking on the door, Shadow is still snoring in his chair. I carefully push myself up to a sitting position wincing a bit as my chest is still sore. Once I am sitting up I call out, “Come in.” Rosalie backs in with a tray of food, “Good morning, feel up to some food today?” My stomach lets out a rather loud rumble causing her to laugh.

She sets the food on the bed next to me and starts fussing over my bandages. I grab a piece of toast and take a bite out of it just as she takes off the first wrap of bandages. Just then Shadow sits up in his chair blinking sleepily, “Do I smell food?”

I grin over at him just as Rosalie takes off the last bandage on my chest, “Morning love, sleep ok?” He rubs his eyes then looks at me and is instantly awake, “I wasn’t dreaming.” I chuckle and instantly regret it as I wince.

Rosalie shakes her head and says, “Don’t do any laughing for at least another day Seeker. You wolves may heal fast but this was still a bad one even for you.” Shadow moves from his chair to sit beside me on the bed, “How do you feel love?” I force a smile as Rosalie applies another bandage to my chest, “Been better, but I’m alive.”  She finishes her nursing and steps out saying, “When you finished eating and feel up to it, there are a few people out here wanting to see you.” I wave her out as I take another bite of toast.

As I am eating Shadow just sits there watching me trying to fight back tears. I swallow my last bite of toast and take a drink of water before asking, “What’s wrong?” He lowers his head and says, “I thought I lost you love. I have never felt so helpless before.” I put a paw on his leg, “I know what you mean love, I felt the same way when you were hurt.”

Tears start falling down his face as he speaks up in a cracking voice, “Yeah, but you were able to heal me. I wasn’t even able to take away your pain.” I let out a sigh, “Shadow look at me.” He slowly turns his head wiping the tears away.

I give him a small smile as I say, “When I saw you laying there hurt and dying I had no idea how to help you and I was scared to death I was about to lose you. But fortunately I was given a gift that allowed me to save you. Otherwise I know you would have died that day. I also know that if it wasn’t for you I would have died when that dagger pierced my chest.”

He looks at me confused but doesn’t ask anything so I continue, “When I was lying on the ground there was a moment when I was in another place. Somewhere between being alive and being dead and I was given a choice by someone calling himself Daniel. I don’t know if it was real or not but it sure felt real.”

“While I was in that place I was given a choice. I could give up and go on to where ever it is we go when we die, or I could continue to live.” I take his paw in mine and look him in the eyes, “You gave me the reason and the strength to keep fighting. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know that I would have been able to come back. So you see, you did save my life love. You may not have healed my injuries like I did for you, but you did something much more important. You gave me a reason to keep living.”

By now his tears are falling more freely but he has a smile on his face. He leans forward and wraps his arms around my neck. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close as well. After a few minutes he sits back up and dries his eyes, “I don’t know what to say.” I just smile and say, “Just promise me that you will never stop loving me.” He laughs as he responds, “I promise love, I love you and I always will.” Smiling I lean back against the head board of the bed, “I love you too Shadow.”

Just then there is a knock on the door and Rick pokes his head in, “Is it ok to come in now? I have a pack of eager wolves out hear threatening to cause damage to my person if I don’t move.” Shadow and I both laugh causing me to wince again as the door is shoved open and Rick is pushed out of the way by Tabatha, Eve, Luna, and Jasper with Rick bringing up the rear.

I shake my head and smile at the line of wolves settling themselves around the room. Once the standard greetings and well wishes are out of the way I look around at my pack taking in how disheveled most of them look. Letting out a sigh I ask, “How many of you have actually had a decent amount of sleep in the last three days?” They all look around a little sheepishly as I suppress another laugh, “Well you can all get some sleep now. I won’t be dying anytime soon. There is too much work for us to do.”

That comment seems to reinforce to everyone that I am on the mend and will be back to normal soon as they all relax and let out a collective laugh. Its then that I notice Rick has his arm around Luna’s shoulder and she is leaning in close to him. I raise an eyebrow as I look straight at them and ask, “What all exactly did I miss while I was out?”

All eyes turn to Rick and Luna who both blush under their fur as Rick says, “Well your advice finally sank in. Especially after what happened.” He looks down at Luna with a goofy smile, “I finally got the courage to tell her how I felt and….” Jasper interrupts, “And he has been a love sick puppy for two days now.”

Tabatha chimes in with a laugh, “Luna hasn’t been much better. Everything she says is Rick this, Rick that. I don’t know what you said to him Seeker, but it’s about time someone did it.”

That brings out a round of laughter from everyone causing me to wince and hold my chest as I say, “Ow… Can we hold back on the laughter for a bit, I am still sore after all.” There is a round of apologies from everyone that I wave off, “Not your fault you didn’t stab me with a dagger.”

Once my chest stops hurting as much I ask, “So what happened to… whatever that thing was?” Rick and Jasper look at each other before Jasper speaks, “Well after it attacked you it took off into the forest. Rick and I chased after it but we quickly lost sight of it and there was no trail at all. Whatever it is its gone.” I nod slowly, “It may be gone now, but I get the feeling that it will be back. What about Harandoom and his goons?”

Rick picks up the tale at this point, “Well when that thing left Harandoom it killed all of his circle except…” He looks around a moment at the others before continuing, “It left Harandoom alive.”

I narrow my gaze and stare at Rick making him flinch a little, “You mean that he is still alive?” Rick flinches as Shadow speaks up drawing my attention, “Yes my father is alive. I had him kept that way till you woke up. There is something you have to know.” I look at my mate with a raised eyebrow and a rising anger, “Why would you of all people want to keep him alive after what he has done?”

He swallows and licks his lips before continuing, “Because what was left behind isn’t what did all those things.” He takes a breath as he tries to explain, “That thing that was in him, apparently it has been in him for a very long time. The Harandoom that is alive here now, is nothing like the one you fought.”

Hearing Shadow talking about this in such a calm voice makes me wonder what exactly is going on. As my anger dies down I say in a controlled voice, “Are you saying that that thing has been controlling him, forcing him to do all the evil he did?” All around the room heads nod.

I let out a sigh and rub my eyes, “I take it you want me to talk with him before we pass any judgment on him?” Shadow nods as he says, “He has requested to speak with you, Rosalie, and Alpha Steel as soon as your ready.”  Lowering my hand I give a small nod, “Ok, as soon as I am back on my feet I will listen to what he has to say. But he is not to be left alone for a moment until then am I clear?”

There’s a short snort from Jasper, “He actually requested that we keep him under twenty-four hour guard. He claims he wants to prove to you that he is not the same wolf you fought.” I lean back against the head board with a grunt saying, “Well I will hold my judgment on that for now.”

In an effort to change the topic I ask, “So who has been in charge while I was out of it?” All eyes shift to Jasper who suddenly looks a little sheepish, “Well someone had to keep things from falling apart. Though I will be glad when you’re back on your feet Seeker. Keeping these guys out of trouble is not easy. I don’t know how you do it.”

I smile at him, “It isn’t easy. But I’m glad to know everything was in good hands.” Just then Rosalie bustles in carrying a tray of drinks with Aaron right behind her. When she sees the crowd she lets out a loud huff, “I thought I told all of you to limit how many came in at once.” I grin as everyone looks back and forth between themselves with a touch of shame.

I have to fight hard to keep from laughing at a pack of fully grown werewolves being cowed by one elderly human woman. She lets out a huff and says, “Well what should I have expected from a house full of wolves. Frankly I’m surprised I managed to keep you out as long as I did.”

She sets the tray down on my desk and starts handing out drinks, “Guess it’s a good thing I brought so many drinks up here with me huh.” That brings a round of laughs from everyone as they relax.

Aaron steps over to the window and sits on the floor. I can see that he has been crying but is trying to put on a brave front so I make a mental note to talk to him when everyone else has cleared out.

I take a glass of water handed to me and sip on it before asking, “So any other big events I have missed out on?” Rosalie sits down at the foot of the bed and starts, “Well most of the villagers have gone back to their homes, fortunately only a couple of homes were destroyed beyond repair, of the ones that were damaged only two are not livable so almost everyone is back home now.”

I look at her and ask, “What about your home and shop?” She shrugs, “The shop is almost a total loss, and my home was one of the ones that was destroyed.” I swallow hard and lower my eyes, “I’m sorry Rosalie your family lived there for generations.” She lets out a sigh, “Yeah I will miss it, but I am alive and so is Aaron. We will be fine, just going to have to rebuild.”

I look around the room asking a silent question and they all nod in agreement. I look back at Rosalie and say, “You and Aaron can take your pick of any of the empty rooms. You will be staying here until you get your place rebuilt. It’s the least we can do.”

She takes a sip of her drink and with a straight face says, “Well after the hell you put me through the last three days Seeker your right. I don’t have a clue how you managed to keep all these people fed, they eat more food in a day than half the village does in a week. I will be glad when your back to doing the cooking.”

There is a deathly quite as everyone looks at her trying to decide if they should laugh or not. When she breaks into a grin everyone starts laughing including me, which I instantly regret as I grab my chest and wince.

Once I catch my breath again I look at Rosalie, “What was that about not making me laugh?” She moves closer and looks at my bandages, “Well they do say laughter is the best medicine after all.” I just glare at her causing everyone to laugh again.

Even though it still hurts to laugh too much I have to admit it is nice to see everyone in a good mood. After the last week they all need a good laugh to brighten the mood. I know I sure did.

For a couple more hours we all sit around talking as the topics move from plans to rebuild the village, to training routines, to trading funny stories on each other. Eventually Rosalie stands up and says, “Well I think we all have plenty of stuff to get done and sitting around here yapping our lips isn’t going to get it done.”

She starts making a shooing motion at everyone as they begin to file out of the room. I nod to each of them as they leave. Before Aaron can leave however I call out, “Aaron, would you stay for a moment please. If Rosalie doesn’t need your help that is.”

He looks up at Rosalie who nods and he walks over to a nearby chair and sits down as the rest of the pack clears out including Shadow who says, “I am going to go fine Alpha Steel and let him know how you’re doing.” I just nod at him as he closes the door.

Once everyone has moved out of ear shot I look at Aaron who is sitting in his chair looking down at his hands. After thinking over my words carefully I ask, “The last few days have been hard on you haven’t they Aaron?” He nods but doesn’t say anything.

After a moment of silence I continue, “I know you have been crying, I saw how red your eyes were when you came in. Want to talk about it?” He reaches up with a hand and wipes his eyes before saying, “When you got hurt I was afraid that you would die. Then when you weren’t waking up and everyone was being so quite about it I got even more afraid then. Last night I had a dream about when my parents were killed.”

I just sit there silently letting him tell his story. “I was six when it happened. We had just moved here from somewhere, I don’t remember where. One night I heard my parents talking when they thought I was asleep so I got out of bed to go see what was going on. They were in the main room of our house talking to a third person, I never saw who it was. Dad said something then I saw the other guy pull out a knife and stab him in the stomach. Then mom yelled and tried to run but the guy grabbed her from behind and cut her throat.”

Tears are now running down his face as he relives the scene in his mind. With a sob he continues, “I ran back to my room and hid under the bed till the guy left. I don’t know how long I stayed there I was too scared to get out from under it. When I did I went back to where I last saw my parents and they were laying on the floor their blood all around them. I was so scared that I just ran out of the house into the night.”

As he is telling the story a memory comes to mind of being told about a family being murdered several years before. I let out a sigh and ask, “You blocked out that memory didn’t you? Then when you saw me get hurt it came back?” He nods and the tears are flowing more freely now.

I carefully move to the side of the bed so that I am sitting on the side. I pat the space next to me, “Come here.” He moves over and sits down beside me careful not to shake the bed to bad. I swallow and start talking, “I also lost my parents did you know that?” He nods, “Rosalie said you had.”

I smirk, “Not surprised she told you. You see, we are both orphans. But unlike you I didn’t lose my parents till I was older than you are now. But when I lost them I lost everything, my home, my family, everyone I ever knew or cared about. So I can imagine what it has been like for you the last few days. You finally got a new home only to see it nearly destroyed.”

I smile down at him as he looks up wiping his eyes, “I promise you Aaron, that you will always have a home here. No matter what happens ok?” A small smile spreads across his face before he leans forward and wraps his arms around me in a hug. He doesn’t squeeze hard enough to hurt my chest thankfully.

After getting over my surprise at the sudden hug I gently return it as he says, “Thank you Seeker. I’m glad you’re going to be ok, you’re the closest thing I have to a dad.” Not sure what to say I just pat him on the back a little as he holds on to me, his face buried in my fur.

Eventually he pulls back and wipes his eyes for the last time his tears finally having dried up. He lets out a sigh and we sit there for a few moments before I say, “You know this isn’t going to get you out of studies right?” That causes him to let out a burst of laughter. A smile spreads on my face as I see him laugh before I say, “Speaking of studies how about as soon as I get over this little scrape we get started on them. But I think I will take a more active role in your training than I said I would to begin with.”

He looks up at me his eyes wide with a smile on his face, “Really? You’re going to teach me to fight yourself?” I nod, “Yeah I think I will, though you will still train with the others of course. But as long as you and Rosalie are staying here you may as well get the best teaching possible. In fact, I think it’s time I took a more active teaching role with everyone.” His smile just gets bigger.

I give him another pat on the back and say, “Now why don’t you go on and see if you can help out any of the others.” Just then an idea hits me as he is getting up to leave, “On second thought, why don’t you go track down Rick or Jasper and ask them to help you find a training sword. Then once I am back to normal we will get you started on your training.”

With that he leaves the room with a big smile and a bit of a bounce to his step as he goes off in search of his first sword. As soon as the door closes though I drop the smile I had been showing him and everyone else and grab my chest. It hurts like hell now.

As I sit there on the side of the bed a fit of coughs racks my body. After the coughing subsides leaving my breathing labored I barely manage to lie back down on the bed before I lose all strength in my arms. As I lay there panting and in pain I look up at the ceiling and for the first time since being stabbed I feel helpless and afraid.