Saturday 17th 

A new day began at 1216 Ladder Street. But at that time, there were only two people in the house. After an evening of wild sex, FJ had to go home quite late at night. Gruff wanted to keep him but FJ promised to return the next day. Mark had to replaced his colleague Hellen who was planned to accompany the team to a junior basketball tournament in another city. A stupid attack of appendicitis. Mark was angry at having to leave Greg but he had no choice, only he could replace his colleague. He was also more angry by the fact than it was the third one of the year. Mark had hang up, swearing than it would be the last time he would save the buttocks of a well-known drunker. At least Greg would not be alone. Ed had finally some rest until the following Thursday. He was plan to return the next morning. 

Gruff got up and after going to toilets, came down in the kitchen. He wore nothing but a jockstrap. He is vaguely aware that he felt less and less embarrassed to be almost naked in the house. Nude, Ed was totally by cons. He took the eggs to cook breakfast. Gruff tried not to look at the thick bear’s cock. 

« Hi Gruff... Slept well ? 

- I... I think yes. »

Gruff sat at the table and began to serve himself some coffee. 

« Good. You know what you gonna do today ? 

- No, not really. 

- Me neither. Good, we’re be able to bore together all the time then. 

- FJ will come later. 

- In the meantime, time to eat. I think you have not eaten since yesterday. »

Gruff indeed realized that the smell of food made him more and more eager. The first bite was followed by the second and the third was not long to come. Hungry, Gruff ate three servings before to give up. 

« You really needed to eat. I'm glad you found your appetite. 

- Thank you, it was very good. »

Gruff moved slightly on his chair and grimaced a bit of pain.

« A problem ? 

- No, no, said a blushing Gruff. 

- It that lie true ? »

Ed looks Gruff into his eyes. The boy knew that Ed had guested but a big background of shy rendered him mute. Ed guessed that too. 

« I'm not going to lie to you, Gruff. You came here because you've got big troubles, and you know how they are largely resolved ?

- Er, no ? 

- You just said what was wrong. You talked to your uncle. And see the result. From now, you have a much more reliable roof over your head as long as you’ll need it. And more, we’re here too. More than anything, you have a friend too. And all what you did to have any of that and avoid your uncle’s fate when he was your age, is to have spoken. So, what's wrong ? 

- Hmm... It's tricky... 

- Gruff, you’re talking to a 37 year old guy, fully naked, totally fag, who has in his life had dozens and dozens men on his bed and somewhere else, then about shame and delicate issue, believe me, there is nothing that can surprise me... 

- It hurts me a little down here… »

Ed nodded, understanding.

« I see. What did you used ? 

- What ? 

- To facilitate. Lubricate. 

- Lub... Er... just saliva. 

- Young folks... But, hey, I understood he’s your first, right ? »

Gruff said "yes" shyly with his head. 

« Follow me in my room, I'll give you something to relieve yourself. Say, does it bleed ? 

- I think not. 

- Do not believe, know. »

Redder than a tomato, Gruff checked while he was going upstairs, following Ed. 

« No. 

- Good. Check again this afternoon, but if you bleed, I want you to warn me okay ? Do not mess with this part of your body. 

- I swear. »

Gruff and Ed went into the bedroom of the couple. Gruff saw for the first time the room and peered it. From the whole house it was undoubtedly the best decorated and best furnished, underlining its importance for the couple. What caught the boy’s eye, were the two large flags surrounding a large wardrobe. Gruff had expected to see the Rainbow Flag somewhere but there was not. On the left, was a flag with the colors brown black and white on horizontal stripes, a bear paw in the upper left corner. The flag on the right had black and blue horizontal stripes plus a central white stripe, a big red heart in the top left. The contents of the open closet interested him most, however.

An impressive collection of clothing and leather accessories like harnesses, pants, shirts and gloves were there. There were also rubber ones. Gruff blushed again noting the presence of two dildos of normal size. Ed rummaged in an interior drawer, not taking care about Gruff saw. 

« Ah, voila... »

« Here it is… »

He gave to Gruff a plastic tube. 

« It is a soothing ointment. Put in some, it'll alleviate. And now... »

Ed held out a small plastic bottle, with some blurred jelly inside. Gruff took it and looked at it. Nothing was written on it.

« This is lube. You just put some on your friend’s cock before, and also a little in your rectum with your finger. You'll see, it will be ten times easier and a hundred times better than with saliva. 

- Uh... Thanks... »

Gruff was holding the tiny bottle like if it was burning his fingers a bit. He kept it eventually. The promise of more pleasure was stronger than everything.

« You need something else ? 

- Don’t think so. 

- You're no longer a child but not quite yet a man. Do not hesitate to ask. There is no stupid question. » 

Gruff looked a the little bottle. 

« Ed... Why... My parents... »

Greg’s voice was faltering. Ed understood why. He knew then the best for the teen was being direct.

« Fear. 

- What ? 

- Gruff, sit down, it might be long. 

- Really ? »

Ed nodded as Greg sat on the large bed. Obviously a king size.

« Life can be something really scary sometimes. But what makes the most frightening people is death. Nothing and nobody can avoid it. Its finality and in fact the unknown are what frightens us most in the world. So to try to tame this fear, we started to think, believe, that death was something else. A passage. And to keep this passage, in a sense, we created God, and everything we needed to go with. 

- You really believe that ? 

- This is the closest to what I believe to be true. But I do not know if I am right or not. The fact is that our creation was too big for us, and we lost control over it. 

- How ? 

- The hope of another life has led some to put religion at the center of their lives. And to ensure a ticket to a better life, they began to give the best of themselves to begin with, then require others to do the same. Thus, anyone who refused to obey them and follow their rules were becoming a threat to their future survival.

- And like any threat, the best way to prevent it is to dismiss them for granted. 

- Exactly. The fear of Hell is an effective deterrent, provided that the other believes in it too. 

- That's what my mother told me. I’ll go to Hell for ever... 

- Gruff, you believe in God ? 

- Yes. 

- You think he has done you this way ? That is, male, handsome, and loving other men ? 

- I believe... Yes. 

- And God alone can say who will go to heaven or hell, right ? 

- Yes. 

- So tell me, if He made you gay, that means than He has therefore the responsibility that you like men, right ? 

- ... 

- And in that case, why to punish you with hell, while you will not had been what you've been without that you can give your opinion ? 

- ... 

- Is not God who deserves hell then ? 

- ... 

- No Gruff. If there is hell for me, only those who made bad choices, and behaved inappropriately with the others deserve to go. You have chosen to love men ? 

- No. 

- Then there is no reason for you to be thrown into hell after your death. 

- But in this case, nobody should get lost, right ?

- How ? 

- If… God makes us love killing others, then these murderers are not guilty either, right ? 

- Do you already wanted to kill someone ? 

- No ! 

- Me either. And so is the rest. We like men. Sexually speaking I mean. But this is not true for everyone, right ? 

- No. 

- So tell me, is it logical to think or believe that we can play the same game when you have to respect each a different rule ? That we will have the same reward, or the same penalty, if we start each with a different objective, to achieve a goal differently of other people ? 

- ... 

- No Gruff. I think not. For me the most important thing in life is to respect others, to preserve their life and even if you can, improve it. And if because I love to fuck your uncle God wanted me to burn forever, so is that He himself did not understood himself, or He was unable to give us the right rules, and then, He does not deserve our love and our faith. 

- I think I understand...

- You met FJ there shortly. It is by attending you will know if he will be just a friend, or if he’s one of those who is destined to keep you company for the rest of your life. I think I had the chance of having found mine with your uncle. 

- You only think ? 

- Only time gives you the answer. But yes I think it's him. And not because we fuck like animals, but because I can not imagine my life without him. Our best moments are not when we fuck, even if it's more than enjoyable. No, that's when we're with each other, just one close to each other. What I feel then, that you also have to feel it too when you're with FJ, this is what I think is the closest feeling of heaven. »

Gruff remained silent for a moment, thinking. He stood up then, hugged Ed and pressed his face against his chest and stayed stuck. Ed hugged the boy in turn. 

« Thanks, Ed. »

Gruff was happy. Mark and Ed had learned to him in three days more than during the rest of his life. More than anything, he knew he could now, loving FJ, really redeem himself for the last five years. Just by loving him. 

When FJ arrived Gruff embraced him in an even closer and more tender way before kissing him. He invited him to get naked on his bed and spent the rest of the afternoon to caress him and feel him against him, to breathe, to smell every inch of his body, neglecting any region. FJ was reluctant that Gruff put his nose in some places, citing its ease to sweat but Gruff appreciated that most of it. Each region of FJ’s skin smelled different from the other, and Gruff loved them all, and he could not help as usual now to lick some for FJ’ s big pleasure.

More to have sex with him, Gruff wanted to know him. He wanted to know everything. About his body. His feelings. His way to be. His heart, even his soul. In exchange, he woulds open himself to him too. He studied FJ for hours and it seemed to him than it was the best thing he ever did in his life.

Sunday, 18th

Gruff was standing in the garden, smiling. The sun was beginning to be really hot in that late morning. This justifying to wear only shorts outside, without shoes or even socks. Gruff lifted his face to appreciate to its true value the warm breeze that swept his face and his torso. No one, outside of the inhabitants of the house, could see him, being totally in an enclosed space, like the FJ’s garden was. Even if the place was not a perfectly organized one, the garden of his uncle remained in better condition and better maintained than his friend’s one. A large area of lawn, at the bottom five trees, already old, able to provide shade and coolness even during the month of August.

His lonely night was relaxing. FJ had to leave once the time came, and once again he would be back in the late morning. Like his uncle, who would not be long too. Gruff was eager to see him too. He realized now how much they missed to each other. And then he seemed giving so good advices. Ed also was. The ointment had its effect, and Greg did not felt any discomfort now. But with him, it was something else. Gruff did not knew where he came from but despite his near-perfect English and his lack of accent, he felt he was not American. His way of preparing meals, sometimes express himself in what appeared to be French while watching TV...

And also the detachment about the Sunday morning. Greg woke up later than usual, and seeing Ed not to push him to go to the Church had surprised him. His parents never would have allowed him to miss a single church service. Ed told him he never went to church, but that if he chose to do, he was free to go.

It was too late now to get there and for the first time, Greg did not felt the need to go.

Greg looked down and picked up an oval ball that was at the foot of a tree. The ball was not a football one. The shape was identical, the material too, but it was a little bigger than normal. Heavier too. And then there was no lace on it.

« Wanna throw it to me ? »

Ed stood at the entrance. He had the same outfit that Gruff, ie just shorts and was barefoot. Greg smiled gently tossing the ball, not wanting to be too abrupt. The accuracy and speed with which Ed grabbed the ball showed to Greg that he could have put more strength.

« It's what you call a shot, pussyboy ? »

Ed sent the ball, faster, stronger, and more viciously to Gruff, who struggled to grasp it, to his surprise.

« It's not a football one, right ?

- Exact. It's a real ball, not the kind of toy you sent to each other. »

Greg was cut to the quick. He sent the ball, without special precautions. Ed found it more difficult to grasp but he succeeded nevertheless quite easily.

« It's better. You play for a long time ? »

Ed sent the ball and Gruff, this time, had to run to try to take it back. The different shape of the bullet made him missed it and he saw the ball falling in the ground.

« Since I can, yes. This is what I want to do. Go pro. From what I see, you're doing well.

- I was not bad too. Me too, I wanted to be a pro.

- Why you did not ? You... This has been a problem for you ? »

Ed took the hint, and smiled.

« I had to make a choice. I hesitated, and a triple fracture of the tibia made the decision for me.

- It's sad.

- That's life. But with the course that I have done since, I must say that these two months in hospital were the best thing that ever happened to me. If I had been professional, maybe I would never come here, and I would never met Mark. »

Greg had taken the ball in hand, keeping it, watching the thin wire that connected the panels together.

« I do not know what I would choose if I had to do. The money, career, or love. »

Ed approached.

« It worries you, right ?

- What ?

- Your future. Now that you know what you are, everything is different. »

Greg sighed. Ed was right.

« Nothing will be as before, right ?

- We always dream to see his life unfold smoothly. The unknown is scary. But learning to manage the imponderable, it’s also the only way to become an adult. And make the right choice, which is also required.

- And if I'm wrong ?

- We all make wrong choices. But we never know when that happens. It would be too easy otherwise.

- This is not reassuring.

- No existence is reassuring. We just learn to do for the best. But know this, Greg. Acting for the benefit of others first is never a mistake.

- This is what inspired you to become a nurse ?

- In part. It was that or turn pro. One way or another, I would be serving others. You see, I’d won every time ! »

The sound of the front door opening and closing was heard, as well as Mark’s complaints and curses.

« It seems your uncle came back... »

Ed returned home, and Greg followed him, releasing the ball. Mark withdrew his shoes and he did the same with his socks, sitting on the leather sofa when Ed welcomed him with a long tasty kiss.

« All went well ?

- Now that I saw how Helen’s team played, I understand why she drinks to forget... »

Greg chuckled to himself. The High School basketball team was in fact far from be among the best in town.

« Everything went well here ?

- There were no problems, I just need to show Greg to beware of still waters. »

Mark looked at his nephew.

« You took him to the edgy with the ball, right ? »

The tone of Mark was happy, though a little tired.

« I did not knew he had played before.

- You would have seen him younger, he would have pushed you with one of his shots.

- Hey, I can still flatten him in the ground, you know !

- For sure... »

Greg smiled more strongly while Ed frowned, visibly more amused by the comment that really got angry. The bear went to the kitchen, the preparing time for the meal had come. Mark now has his feet on the table that faced the sofa. Greg had never seen his father installed that way. Her mother would have torn his legs if he tried to act like that. His too, for that matter. Greg was reluctant to speak to his uncle, who was a little tired of the tournament he had to conduct as an accompanying. His gaze was insistent, however, be noted as by Mark.

« A problem ?

- No, not really.

- Seeing your head, you have not yet had much sleep that night, right ? »

Greg avoided his uncle’s gaze. He felt that the subject was still sensitive. Yet he also knew he had nothing to fear. Greg understood some things now. He learned by example that years of closet can not be completely erased in just a day.

« It's just that I do not know what to do.

- About what ? »

Greg drew his hand across his scalp nervously, as he always did when he was embarrassed.

« I guess it remains an obstacle, right ? »

Mark looked at his nephew in the eye, Greg sometimes trying to support the eye. Mark held out a hand in the air and to the surprise of Greg, a can of soda landed there, launched by Ed from the kitchen. The agreement and the habit of the two men would be perfect for a while for the proper performance of such a gesture. Mark began to empty the can into his throat.

« I do not know what to do, it's true. With all the stories the guys let out in the locker room about it.

- I know. I crowded enough into high schools locker rooms to find out why my ears rang sometimes. »

Greg looked at his uncle a little more timid way. He too was not left out, when the team told salacious stories, more or less homophobic ones. Mark finished by emptying the can and put it on the table.

« Coming out of the closet or not, it’s that worrying you. 

- Yes.

- Do you know what to do ?

- Not really.

- Do as usual then. Tell me there... Some are pretty for you ?

- No.

- So all is well. If there was one person who had catch your eye, it could have been a problem. You know, nothing has changed, you're the same person you were last Thursday.

- Except that now...

- You have not changed, Greg. It's just that you did not knew you fully before.

- If you say so... I... I do not know if I have to say or not...

- It's up to you, Greg, I can not make that decision for you. I can just tell you this : in any case, information like this always ends up circulating, it is inevitable. Say first, is to control the thing and limit adverse effects without eliminating all.

- So I must tell them... »

Mark stood up, smiling, referring the empty can in the kitchen. Greg followed him.

« It's up to you. We must also choose the right moment and opportunity. This can make much differences. How to say it too. On that point, either I can not help you because it is a matter of feeling. And there is even more important.

- What ?

- Greg, anyway, whatever you’ll do, you... There are those who, like your parents... Parents... Finally... I will not lie to you Greg. You’ll be hurt. You'll lose friends, it's inevitable. There will be some that will turn you back. Some permanently, others... will come back to you in a few months or few years. It will be up to you if you forgive them or not.

- I understand.

- There will be those to whom it will do nothing. These, Greg, you must never betray them one way or another because believe me, those are real friends.

- You... Have kept many friends ? I mean when you found out.

- I lost them all, Greg. When I came back here after three years on the road, I did not find anyone. I had to start from scratch.

- This is encouraging...

- This will not necessarily happen that way to you. In fact, I'm sure not. Things have changed, Greg. This is far from being paradise again but the simple fact that I have married Ed and in nine years here I had to erase any, do you hear me, any dirt like " dirty faggots " on my walls leads me to think that for you, things will be easier still. »

Mark’s face changed then, showing he just remembered of something. He put his hand on his pocket.

« I almost forgot I made this for you. »

Greg saw a key on his uncle’s palm.

« Take it. It’s your. » 

Greg took it, a bit surprised.

« I already said it to you, Greg. You’re at home, now. As long as you’ll need it. »

Greg opened his mouth to thanks his uncle, but the ringing of the door silenced him. Ed opened the door and came back in company of a slender tiger, though well proportioned and not sickly. Mark's smile widened.

« Jimmy ! What a nice surprise ! What are you doing here ? Your stepmother has finally discovered the truth and convinced your wife to kick you out of the house ?

- Do not talk to me about that old bitch ! And no, I'm still sitting comfortably in my closet ! »

Mark encircled the tiger, who was wearing a white shirt and black pants. Hence he was, Greg could see the black holster dangled its leather pouch on the left side of the unknown. Mark released his grip and walked to his nephew.

« This is my boy. I imagine you're here for him, right ? »

Jimmy smiled at Greg.

« I can not hide something from you.

- As long as you come here otherwise than in your undies, it could be only for him ! »

Ed's comment made the teen blush by all that that implied. Jimmy approached Greg and held out his hand.

« I'm Inspector Stewart, seconded to children’s protection. Pleased to meet you. »

Greg hesitated for a second but extended his own hand to the unknown.

« Greg... »

Jimmy shook his hand warmly and looked back at Mark.

« I take a quiet moment during my service to visit you. I'm sorry to do that, Mark, but I need to ensure that this boy is well treated here. I can not decently sign my report without a modicum of control.

- Do not worry, I fully understand that. »

Jimmy looked back at Greg.

« I must see in particular the room where you sleep, you can take me there ? »

Greg said "yes" with his head. He was somewhat impressed by the tiger. He was as tall as his uncle but despite his thinner body, he seemed to be still more imposing. Probably the aura of his profession. Or it was the stripes. 

Greg was too intimidated to think about the fact than the man was probably sharing intimate moments with his uncle sometimes. Previous exchanges seemed to be clearly statements about that. Ed did not get offended, so there was a high probability he was in too. To imagine the sex lives of his parents had always been a scary thing for him. But now he had his uncle’s one under the nose. And it was somehow more embarrassing yet knowing the possible combinations when three individuals were involved. Greg forced himself to think about something else.

« The room is upstairs.

- I follow you then. »

Greg went up the stairs and walked to his room. Jimmy followed him two steps behind, but when Greg put his hand on the handle, Jimmy waved him to stop.

« You can go down, I know what I wanted to know.

- How so ? »

Jimmy sent to the young boy the friendlier smile possible.

« You went right to the guest room, and not that of your uncle. That's all I cared to know. »

Greg released the handle. His mind wondered how Jimmy could know the layout of the rooms but he soon realized why. Greg tried more strongly to change the subject of his thoughts while Jimmy went down again.

« It was fast.

- I needed to know only one thing. Nothing else is important. I will not dwell, I am on duty and I have a lot of paperwork to complete. »

Mark and Ed greeted Jimmy who was preparing to leave. Greg could see that Jimmy was talking softly, bending Mark’s ear. His hearing was still good enough to hear anyway.

« In fact, Gina takes Dottie to see her grandmother next weekend, and they do not return until Monday, so I thought that if... »

Mark replied the same way, but Greg, once again, did not lost a crumb of the conversation.

« That kitten still needs to be tamed, huh ? Do not worry, Greg is old enough to take care of himself overnight. »

Greg blushed, trying to get away, pretending to have heard nothing, nor with regard to the answer, nor with regard to the erotic tone taken by his uncle on Jimmy's ears. The latter bowed more strongly and formally before leaving the house. Mark and Ed returned to the kitchen, leaving Greg alone in the room. He turned on the TV, hoping that any dumb program would be enough to make him forget the constant allusions to the sexual life of the apparently unrestrained couple.

Greg was also hoping to find a more peaceful mind. The question remained, and he did not knew the answer yet, despite his uncle’s support. He had just lost his parents because of it. Would he loose his friends too ?

The boy had no time to worry even more because the bell rang again, warning for FJ’s arrival. Greg hugged him and kissed him before to bring him in his room.

FJ noted his friend’s worried face. He was not surprised to see him try to talk about something he felt serious. Greg did not knew where to start. Nervous, he began to pack some clothes to keep his mind and his body busy. This allowed him to relax and release his words.

« I did not knew.

- You did not knew what ?

- You know. Nothing made me think.

- Oh. Yes, indeed. I've never told anyone. And I must say that even I would have trouble to guess me to be gay.

- You plan to stay in the closet ? »

FJ’s heart was startled and his eyes darkened. The question was asked. FJ hesitated to answer because he himself did not knew the answer.

« I do not know. I know I will not stay indefinitely in the closet, that's for sure. But about to know when to come out... »

Greg took a deep breath.

« I will.

- Really ?

- Yes. I lied to myself too much to keep doing it to others. And it's never healthy to keep too many secrets, to live in fear of being discovered.

- I know. I'm so used to not having the consideration of someone I do not think this will change anything. But...

- But ?

- I did not want to lose the little I have. I think for my friends losers, this is not a problem, but I'm always afraid of losing them. I've been alone so long.

- I can understand.

- Really ?

- FJ, I just lost the thing that seemed most important to me. My uncle and his husband have just filled the vacuum. But I still feel this loss.

- Even after what she told you ?

- Even. I know this sounds strange and confusing... but I still hope. A small part of me still hopes. I try to convince myself that everything had ended, but I can not do it completely. I have no desire to see her yet. We must believe that there are stronger ties than anything. Or maybe it's stupidity. »

Greg closed the closet.

« I'm also afraid about my friends. We are not models of respect and tolerance in the locker room. But lying and hiding would be worse than anything. »

FJ took a chair and settled there, elbows on the back and head on his forearms.

« How do you expect to do that ? »

Greg stared at the ceiling, seeking for a satisfactory answer.

« I have no idea. I just don’t think I’ll go into the locker room, being naked and saying "by the way guys, I'm gay, but keep cool, I'm not going to watch."

- This is not the best way, no.

- How would you do, you ? »

FJ’s chin rested more heavily on his arms, looking down.

« I have no idea. I do not even know if I will do this year.

- FJ, I want you to know. If you decide not to tell, I will respect that. If you choose to stay in the closet, I'll get you out of my way.

- Thank you.

- This is normal. I screwed up your life enough like that. I always regret what I did, you know.

- I stopped blame you, don’t worry.

- Really ?

- Yes. There will always be traces, but if you are able to change, then I must also be able to do the same.

- I will find an excuse, not to let the others to wonder why I will not get your pants down like I did before.  »

Greg was behind FJ, still seated, and he entwined his torso, cheek against cheek. FJ could not repress a smile, enjoying the warmth and contact of the skin of his friend.

« It will not miss me at all.

- And now I can take them away here. And completely. It is much nicer. »

FJ interrupted Gruff’s tirade, putting his lips on the rott’s ones. The kiss was returned, stronger. Having learned from his misadventure with Fred, Greg made sure that the door of his room was closed before proceeding further.