\n The cold winter air nips at my face. My warm breath meets the air in a puff of smoke-like condensation. The snow crunches beneath my feet as I trod down First Street in my winter coat. In one hand I hold a bouquet of flowers, while the other is dived deep in my pocket. Ontario winters are notoriously cold, and this is no different.
\n I normally love evening walks, the quietness of it. The stillness of the street, and of my heartbeat. But this isn't a normal evening. And this walk has my heart pounding. I am sick to my stomach. It's hard to admit you're wrong. Harder still to say it out loud.

\n Her apartment is across the street from a children's playground. We met years ago at this very playground.

I followed her up the slide. She was small for her age and at our youthful state, she wanted to ride down with someone. I did it with her not realizing that the very moment I did, I'd be hooked on her. On seeing her furry face. Her bunny ears. She was to become my drug. My elixir. Some nights she was the only thing that kept me going.

\n I walked up the icy stairs that led to her apartment building. She lived in a recently built building, many rooms still vacant. The exterior was designed to have the look of older European buildings. The interior however, screamed modern. It fit together though. I pressed the button for her room. The intercom squawked.

\n "Go away Stephen."

\n "Stacey. I just want to talk."

\n "I have nothing to say to you."

\n "Stacey... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say what I-"

\n "Get the fuck out of here Stephen."

\n "I have something for you."

\n Silence.

\n "It's a lovely bouquet of Posies." She always loved Posies." Please... don't ignore me like this."

\n She was determined to drown me in her coldness.

\n "I still love you. You know I do."

\n "I know." She had something in her voice. It was a mixture of love and hatred. It gave me chills.

\n "Do you remember the time when I showed up at your doorstep in the rain? I was walking my dog when it started. The poor thing was whimpering, I couldn't get him home in time. When the thunder started he was so scared... I came here to get out of the rain. And we had a glass of wine while talking... You kissed me the first time that night. I spent the night with you, curled up on the couch with the fire heating us up."

\n She buzzes me up really suddenly. I open the door and take the elevator up to the top floor. I knock on her door once, twice.

\n "Stacey?" I hear a hard thud on the floor. "Stacey?" I call her again, louder. I pound on the door. "Stacey are you alright?" I've had enough with the formalities. I pull out my key and open the door in a panic.

\n Inside a find darkness, the apartment dimly lit by the moon. She is making strange, concerning sounds. I turn on the lights, and have the overwhelming desire to scream. But my voice is lost in the horror of what I see.

\n Her feet dangle about two feet from the floor. A necklace of rope attaches her to a cross beam. A fallen chair is slightly under her. I drop the flowers and grab the chair, shoving it under her legs. I stand on it with her. Her eyes are closed and I fear the worse. I slip her black hair and white furred head through the noose. I place her on the ground and remember what to do. I was a lifeguard for years, but I never had to save anyone. Those classes no longer a waste of time.

\n I turn my head to hers so my cheek lies against her mouth and nose. I feel nothing. My hands interlock and begin to compress her chest, right over the solar plexus. I don't even think about what I do. One and two and three and four... I go like that til I get to thirty. I tilt her head back and pinch her nose closed. Two deep breathes. My cheek goes to her face again.

\n Nothing.

\n I go back to chest compressions.

\n More breath.

\n Then to her face.

\n It's the fourth try. I'm desperate at this point. I can't lose her. I won't let her... I can't- Tears blotch my white fur.
\n and twenty and twenty-one and twenty-two a-

\n She inhales sharpely.

Little one-shot I did for creative writing. Hope you guys like it. -Kergiby