It feels hard to just exist, lately.

So many people who are barely holding on.

So many people who...aren't holding on, any more.

I'm still in a wretched limbo where I don't know where I stand, and to find out, I have to wait for a court hearing.

Scheduled on my wedding anniversary.

I have no real idea what to expect. I hope it works out.

I think it should, like, logically.

But I don't know.

I really don't.

I just want people to live their lives, and keep existing.

To have another day, another chance, for things to be good.

And so many FUCKING times, it comes down to "oh, they didn't have enough money."

Not.

Enough.

Money...

...

MONEY IS FUCKING MADE UP

IT'S NUMBERS ON A BANK'S WEBSITE SUMMARY PAGE

NO ONE WAS BORN AND GIVEN THE CHOICE TO DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO DEAL WITH STUPID BULLSHIT MONEY BUT EVERY ONE OF US RELIES ON IT TO EAT UNSPOILED FOOD AND DRINK CLEAN WATER AND MEND OUR WOUNDS AND CURE OUR DISEASES TO SAY NOTHING OF THE PEOPLE WITH MORE MONEY THAN ANY PERSON SHOULD HAVE WHO DECIDE THAT... JUST...

... ... ...that a bunch of other people just...

don't get to live

any more.

...

I'm so tired.

I just want you to be safe, and happy, and healthy.

I don't care who you are- if you're reading this, I want that for you, and countless others who'll never get the chance.

Even if you're a piece of shit.

Even if you pretend you don't notice the harm you're doing.

Even if you talk like a fucking Columbo villain while you give lip service to how unpolitical you are.

If you're here, reading this, I'm betting you're choking down poison that someone convinced you is panacea.

You're lashing out in fear, thinking you're saving yourself from others who are hurting just like you are, and you don't have what you need to be able to push back on that and realize you're a danger to those you're hurting but they couldn't even begin to harm you and...

...

I hope you get better.

I hope we all do.

I hope...

...