As I put the bag onto the table, I turned to the bear, “Kamu,” I said trying to steady my nerves, “There is something I would like to know.”

The black bear didn’t lose that warm smile as he inserted a bookmark into what he was reading, “Sure, is it about the clothing? I can make some room in the dresser for your stuff and all.”

I shook my head, “no, it's something else.” I went over to the sofa and sat down next to him. I was down right small sitting next to Kamu, kind of obvious since he is a literal bearman and I am just an average human. I could feel my heart try to jump out of my chest. “So Kamu,” I started, “do you remember when you invited me to stay here?”

“Yeah? That was two days ago, my memory is not that bad.”

“No no, I wasn't trying to insult you or anything.” I try to calm down before continuing, “it's just that, when I told people I was living with you, they would always give me a weird response.”

Kamu raised an eyebrow, “A weird response?”

“Yeah, most of them saying that you invited me to live here means that you wanted a relationship with me.”

“Huh?” Kamu paused. In seconds I see his eyes widen, “oh shit.” he turns away and covers his face with his hands, “Shit shit, sorry sorry. I completely forgot about that.”

I started to panic, “You forgot?”

“Yeah, I really wasn't thinking about that when I invited you here.”

“So you didn’t want to date me then?”

“What no. I swear I wasn't thinking about that at all when I invited you. Believe me.”

“I see,” I let out the breath I was holding since the conversation started, “Hold on then, if you didn’t want to date me, why did you invite me anyway?”

Kamu removed the hands from his face, looking a bit flustered under that black fur of his, “Honestly, I am not too sure myself. I did think about taking you to the dorms when I was with you, but I just changed my mind at some point and offered my place. By the time I caught myself, you already agreed and I didn't want to let you down.”

“I see.” I think about what Kamu just said. It was a relief that he really wasn’t interested in me in that way. Not that I am against it, I just don’t go after guys that had someone. Though something did occur to me, “So Kamu, is it alright if I stay here, just until I figure something out?”

Kamu wraps his arm around me, pulling me into his chest, “Hey don’t worry about it. Stay as long as you want. I can guarantee that this place is much better than the dorms by miles.”

“Why?” I asked while my face was buried in his fur, “Do they suck or something?”

“I wouldn’t say that, it's just difficult.” Kamu unwraps his arm around me, allowing me to pull away from the bear, “Because of how many people just end up on the island, the dorms can be a bit crowded. It is even worse when you have all the types of people that live there. They try and bunk you with people similar to you, but sometimes you get stuck with someone who has different needs than you and it’s just bad for everyone involved.”

I poke him in the belly, “Speaking from experience?”

Kamu laughs, “Yeah, when I first stayed there, I got stuck with a few different people. The room itself was small, just enough room for some beds and a desk. We really didn’t have enough room for things like decorations and personal stuff. We also didn’t have much privacy with each other.” Kamu's face goes a bit red, “I have seen things I really wish I hadn't during my time there.”

“Been there,” I said, “I had to share a dorm room once as well and I walked into plenty of situations I wish I hadn't.”

“You understand my pain. What was worse was that we could just never get along. No matter what it was, we always just seemed to get into a fight, though mostly I was the one who started them. The Father and the dorm staff had to intervene in them sometimes. I was stuck with them until I moved out.”

“Was it hard getting this house?”

“Nah, it was given to be by the Father the second it was available. Lots of the other dorm residents made a fuss about it to the Father, but he was able to calm them down.”

“Why would they make a fuss?”

“Normally I would have been put on a waitlist for it until either someone moves out or they decide to make their own house. But, as I said, I was given one early just because of my bad relationship with my roommates.”

“Hmmm.” Something isn't adding up to me about Kamu’s story, “It seems strange they just decided to give you a house when there is already a wait list just because you didn’t get along with your roommates. Wouldn’t they have just moved you into a different room first?”

When the words left my mouth, Kamu's face changed, this time to a depressed look, “Yes, well, I really wasn't at my best while I was living at the dorm. I was going through some issues before I got here and, at first, I took it out on everyone else.  While my roommates got the worst of it, I was fighting with everyone at the dorm. Within the first week of being in the dorm, people were already saying I should be kicked off the island.”

I was thrown back by Kamu's statement. I almost found it hard to believe, “That's surprising. You have been nothing but nice and helpful ever since I got here. I couldn't imagine you getting yourself almost kicked out.”

Kamu gives a slight smile, “Thanks, it took some time and some counseling to get like this. The day the house was made available, the Father announced that I would be moving into it. I went along with it since it was better than staying at the dorm. However, he did have some conditions for me to move in here I had to uphold.” Kamu balls up his fist and sticks up what I assume was an index finger, “The first was that i was not to leave the house until the Father says otherwise. He also said that things like food and necessities will be delivered to me so I don't have to worry about that.” He stretches out a second finger, “The second was that no matter who showed up at my door, I was supposed to treat them as though I had invited them to the house personally. And finally,” Kamu stretched out a third finger, “No matter what mood I am in, or whatever I am doing, I cannot turn away the Father if he should ever show up at the door. As long as I followed those conditions, I was able to stay in the house.”

“That doesn't sound too bad. If you were causing issues as you said, I would have expected something much more strict.”

“Yeah, they were fair enough. But at the time, I really didn’t think so. Almost the first morning after I moved in, I immediately went outside and ran right into Father coming up the street.”

I let out a small chuckle, “Oh man, I doubt he was pleased.”

“Oh he was furious that I tried to break my word first thing in the morning and let me have it. Honestly, I think that was the most terrifying moment in my life on the island. The Father always looked nice and serene but pissing him off is definitely something you should never do. After that, I followed Father's conditions to a tee. Stayed inside, greeted every person that came like I invited them myself, and never turned away the Father each time he came for counseling. Each day, someone new would bring me stuff like books, clothing, food and all that stuff and I need to entertain them. That is actually how I met Johnny.”

I feel a boudt of jealousy over the fact Kamu just had his boyfriend just show up at the door.“Lucky,” once the word slipped out, I slammed my hand over my mouth, “Sorry.”

Kamu just pats me on the back, “It's okay, I had those fantasies too. Though if I was told I would end up dating him after we first met, I would have called you a liar.”

I looked at the bear puzzlingly, “Why? He must have been a good guy to end up dating him?”

“He was, but I couldn’t see it when we first met. He immediately started to flirt with me the second he saw me. I couldn’t really kick him out since the Father already got on my case for doing that before, so I was stuck with him while passive aggressively trying to get him out the door. We only really started to get along once he stopped flirting and actually started to use actual words. While I was still stuck in here, he would come over, usually with one or two of his lovers, and just sort of chat with me for a while.”

“So he showed up with his lovers, was he showing off or something?” my opinion of Johnny went down a bit.

Kamu shook his head, “I don't think so, or at least, that wasn't the impression I got from it. I didn’t know people on the island, so this might have been his way to introduce me to people, since I was still stuck here. I got along with most of the people he brought over, and he was usually good about stopping the ones that got flirty with me. He really helps make my days interesting and as the days pass, we got closer. Then one day, I just blurted out that I wanted him as he was leaving.”

“That must have taken a lot of courage to say. I know I don't have the courage to do it.”

“Yeah, granted I need a push from the Father the day before to say something like that. I knew that I might just be another lover to Johnny, but I still wanted to be with him. When I told him my feelings, Johnny gave me our first kiss.”

“Aw that's sweet.” there is nothing like a first kiss to fill me with a warm fuzzy feeling. Then I remembered something he said, “Wait, what about the lovers he brought with him?”

Kamu got a bit red, “when Johnny was done kissing me, they tried to do the same with me.”

“That probably ruined the moment for you.”

“It did. But at the same time I really didn’t mind it, they just weren’t as magical as the one I had with Johnny. When I told the Father about it that same day, he decided to lift the conditions i have been living under, saying that I should be able to live in peace on Atmos now.”

I smiled, “thats great. I guess that day really went well for you.”

“Yeah, the next day, Johnny took me out of the house for the first time in about two weeks and took me all over the island, that's how I met Phillip, Rogith, and many others. It was probably the most fun I had in a long time. I saw so many things, so many people, got so many books, my arms got tired carrying them all, and even joined the peace corps all in one day. Then when the sun went down, he showed me the stars for the first time.” Kamu's eyes started to water, “he he took me to the backyard and we laid in the grass and” Kamu struggled to get the words out between the sobbing, “Johnny, Johnny.”

I wrapped my arms around the big bear as he broke down.

Kamu returns the hug, “sorry,” he said, “just do this for a bit.” I feel his tears hit my shoulder as he pulls me close to him.

I just hope, right now, I can help him.