Part 20 - Bridges

(Alexei)

Entering his grandfather’s home had become much like stepping into a time capsule for Alexei in recent months, journeying back to a time when he too called this place home. Just like in those days, his paws sank into the plush carpeting of the hallway while various framed prints of country landscapes adorned the teal-painted walls. The strong scent of wolf still pervaded the air, though his grandmother’s had since faded, leaving just his grandfather’s to linger alone.

“I am surprised to see you,” Maxim muttered lowly, stepping through an open doorway to his right and into the living area.

Alexei followed, keeping a paw upon his chest and close to Nathan. “I had not heard from you since last weekend. I wanted to be sure that you were okay.”

“I am fine,” the elder responded shortly, lowering himself into the worn leather armchair, his favourite, that faced the doorway they’d entered through.

“It has been a week since you have visited. Are you sure all is fine?” Arranged perpendicular to Maxim’s chair, beneath the net curtained main window, sat the worn couch that had been there for as long as Alexei could remember. In front of it sat a small table; the old porcelain vase that had belonged to his grandmother still taking pride of place atop it.

“I was thinking you would be busy entertaining the Polcian.” Evening sunlight shone through the curtain, casting a dim, dancing glow upon the elder and his surroundings. “After what has been said, I am surprised you are not pleased for my absence.”

“I did not wish to suggest you never visit again, only that you do not have to check up on me so often.” Alexei took a seat upon the left-hand cushion of the couch, furthest away from his grandfather and closest the doorway. “Can we not speak in Polcian? I do not wish for us to be rude.”

“Rude?” Maxim spat. “This Polcian, he did not mind rude when he spoke to me in your home.”

Alexei resisted the urge to snap back. “That is a big reason for us coming here.”

“Oh?”

“Yes.” He looked down at Nathan, coaxing him into his paws and setting him down in his lap before removing his jacket. Despite his grandfather’s reluctance, he switched to Polcian. “We both feel bad for last week.”

Maxim sat back, folding his arms. “Both?” Tension began to build in the room, with both wolves focusing down at Nathan. His little head dipped, ears folding flat; the moment had clearly got the better of him.

“Yes... both,” Alexei answered awkwardly. He’d not called this place home for years and it felt even less of one beneath this frosty atmosphere. “Things were said that I am thinking were not meant. This is correct, is it not, Nate?” While he didn’t want to force him, Alexei knew it’d take some kind of gesture from Nathan to begin building bridges with his grandfather.

“I give you permission to speak, Polcian,” Maxim gruffed, waving a disdainful paw. Alexei winced, fearing the argument his grandfather’s dismissive attitude might lead to.

Fortunately, the little husky appeared to have the restraint not to rise to it. “I… I am sorry for some of the things I said to you, sir. I was upset and… I shouldn’t have spoken about you and the war as I did.”

The elder wolf’s icy expression thawed just a little, Nathan’s words clearly a surprise to him. “And why do you say these things now?”

“We took a trip today, you see. Visited the museum. I learnt more about what went on here in Velika… I understand a little more about why people… might feel as they do about us.”

Maxim scoffed. “And now you think you understand?”

Nathan rose to the challenging response without hostility, running through what the museum guide had shown and told him about aspects of the conflict he’d previously been oblivious to.

Alexei remained tight-lipped throughout, allowing his husky to express himself to the stone-faced elder wolf uninterrupted.

His eyes soon began to wander, finding the old family portrait still hanging above the currently lifeless television set to his left. In the image, his eleven-year old self sat waiting with a patient half-smile. His grandparents sat either side upon the antique-looking couch, leaning close enough for Maxim to wrap his arm around his wife’s shoulder.

Even after fifteen years, Alexei could still remember his thoughts at the time. He could remember wondering how much longer he’d have to wear those itchy trousers for, and whether they really were going to go for ice-cream after the shoot as his grandmother had promised. He smiled to himself, thinking back to the simplicity of those days.

Alexei’s focus turned to his grandparents in the photo, each of the middle-aged wolves wearing proud, contented grins that shone through the glass of the old picture frame. It was a happy photo from a happy time.

With a soft sigh, he returned to the present, flicking his ears down towards Nathan as he continued to talk with the elder wolf.

“So, while I’m glad to have been able to get a better understanding of what people had to go through here, I’ll likely never be able to understand what it was like to have to fight and to lose as much as you did in the war because of us. I think… well, maybe I was harsh on you back at Alexei’s apartment. Clearly, I was speaking about things I didn’t really know too much about.”

Alexei slowly looked up from his lap and towards his grandfather, completely at a loss as to what to expect from him in response. Other than his perked left ear, Maxim’s stern, almost emotionless expression had remained unchanged from when Nathan had begun his heartfelt explanation.

The husky shifted uncomfortably, clearly struggling to continue in the face of such a muted reaction. “So… yeah… that’s everything I wanted to say. I apologise.”

Maxim finally made movement, slowly raising a paw to stroke at his muzzle. “You chose to learn of this now, why?”

“After what you said… and a few other things. It made me think that maybe I didn’t know as much as I thought about those days. From our point of view, it’s easy to forget that there were people here, too… going about their lives... Even forgetting all that, I genuinely did feel bad for some of the things I said to you.”

“I am surprised.” Alexei’s ears perked towards his elder. “I would not expect this of a Polcian.”

“Maybe you don’t know as much as you think about us, either,” Nathan answered with a short-lived smile. “Sir.”

Maxim leaned forward in his seat, prompting the younger wolf to move his paw across his lap and closer to Nathan. Honestly, he still couldn’t be sure of how his grandfather would react and wanted to be ready for any possible eventuality.

The elder fixed the husky with an even glare, inhaling deeply. “I thank you for your respect.” He heaved himself up out of his armchair and began to shuffle across the room towards the door, now looking to Alexei. “I wish to have a drink. May I offer?”

“Please.” the young wolf peered down at Nathan. “Would you care for a drink?”

“No… I’m fine, thank you.”

Maxim didn’t answer back, slinking slowly out of the room before making a right and disappearing along the hallway.

“So, tell me,” Nathan muttered, shifting to lean against Alexei’s paw. “Was that a good or a bad reaction, ‘cause I really can’t tell.”

“I am thinking this is best reaction we could hope for.”

“Wow, really? I laid everything out for him, thoughts, feelings, and didn’t get so much as a smile or anything.”

“You must understand who he is. I did not think he would make apology for how he has spoken to you, but for him to say you have shown respect… this is a good thing. Respect is very important to my grandfather.” Alexei smiled brightly, picking the husky up within cupped paws. “It is small step, Nate, but an important one also.”

“If you say so,” Nathan replied, giving a small smile of his own and patting the wolf’s nose once close enough. “I suppose it could’ve been worse.”

“This is true, I am thinking.”

The gentle petting of Nathan’s paw soon became stroking. “Seems things could be on the up.”

Alexei’s brow furrowed as he craned his head to the ceiling. “What is going up?”

“No,” the husky chuckled, holding his free paw to his eyes. “It means things could be improving, between me and your grandfather.”

“Oh,” he answered sheepishly. “Yes, we can hope for this.”

“Silly wolf.” Before Alexei knew it, Nathan had planted a peck upon the tip of his muzzle.

“I… do not think this is good idea,” he stated regretfully, pulling away. “Grandfather is in the next room.”

“Right! Yeah, of course,” the husky replied hurriedly, shuffling back while playing with his shirt collar. “I was just… Sorry.”

“It is okay, do not worry,” Alexei replied softly, spotting Nathan’s ears beginning to splay. He moved his muzzle back towards him, planting a lick upon his little nose. “I am not upset.”

“Good.” His little guest’s bright expression quickly returned. “I’m glad.”

They gazed at one another deeply, their relief following Maxim’s positive reaction to the apology clear in the sparkle of their eyes.

Nathan’s smile grew wider, his curled tail wagging as he pressed his nose to Alexei’s. “Just one quick kiss?”

“We… shouldn’t.”

“Really?” he replied, goading. “You hardly sound as if you mean it.”

‘We have time. Grandfather will be a while,’ Alexei thought, his resistance slowly crumbling.

‘What if he returns?’

‘He will not return in the time it takes for one kiss.’

“Okay.” He returned his husky’s beaming smile, closing his eyes and moving closer.

Nathan grunted happily, pressing his little lips to the wolf’s as they proceeded to indulge in the warmth of one another’s touch.

Locked together in their close, loving kiss, Alexei felt for the first time in a long while as if things had begun to go his way. His grandfather had come around a lot quicker than he could have ever anticipated following their argument. He even seemed to be taking his first steps towards accepting Nathan, maybe even Polcians in general, as worthy of his respect. Alexei couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps one day he could convince his elder to ease up on his overbearing nature towards him and the shop. ‘No… one step at a time.’

He opened his eyes slowly, watching his little husky still stroking at his muzzle fur as their lips parted. For this one moment, after all the drama that had occurred since Nathan’s arrival in Velika, everything finally seemed right with the world.

As suddenly as this happy snapshot came around, it would fade just as swiftly. With his eyes now fully open again, Alexei finally noticed the figure watching on from the doorway. He gazed up quickly to find his grandfather looming there, expression consumed with rage while his left paw squeezed the door frame tighter.

Alexei could have sworn his heart had stopped, such was the chill radiating out from his chest. With the reaction that followed, he may well have wished it had.

“What is this!?” Maxim bellowed in his native speak. “I come back to ask what it is you wish for, and I find--”

“Grandpa, I…” Alexei’s ears flattened and his breathing quickened. He didn’t know where to look, other than away from his grandfather’s snarling maw. Nathan meanwhile had jumped down onto the couch cushion, hiding himself from view beside the wolf’s right thigh.

“I cannot believe… You and… this Polcian!? Explain!”

He finally met his elder’s eyes. Even without the force of his grandfather’s wrath pressing down upon him, he’d have struggled to explain what Nathan meant to him. All Alexei could do was offer up the words he’d used to convey his feelings to the husky on that fateful evening at his apartment. “He is ...more than just friend.”

Maxim took an angry step into the living area, shocking Nathan into pressing himself even firmer against Alexei’s thigh. “You would have… with a Polcian?”

“Grandpa, people--”

The elder wolf’s disgust spread almost tangibly throughout the room. “The homosexuality… when you told me this, when you brought home the white wolf to meet me and your grandmother, it took me time to understand.”

“I remember this,” Alexei whimpered, hugging Nathan to his leg with a paw. “You would have chased Fedor out of the house if not for Grandma. We broke up not long after.” So soon after things appeared to be coming together, going his way, he sensed his world beginning to crack and crumble around him.

“This… this however is something I cannot understand… and cannot allow.”

“What!? What do you mean you cannot allow?”

Maxim snarled, pointing an accusing finger at his grandson. “It is not possible! Us and them, we cannot be together in this way.”

“For what reason?”

“How would this work? You would carry him around? Do everything for him as if he is a pet?”

“You underestimate him, and all other Polcians,” Alexei scoffed in defiance. “What of in Bolstrovo? People of both sizes live together, have... relationships.” He struggled to get that last word past his lips, reluctant to use it in front of his elder, but feeling the need to use its weight in this argument.

“This is not Bolstrovo.”

“Then what of here, before the war?”

“Nor is this then. This is a different time--”

“There were Polcians and Velikans together back then,” he added as if his grandfather hadn’t spoken, gathering Nathan within cupped paws before picking himself up from his seat. “You would act as if this did not happen? Why is now different from--”

“It is not different!” Maxim roared, shocking the young wolf silent and almost knocking him back down to the couch. “I had the same thoughts then as I do now!”

“What?”

“For them to live amongst us, this is one thing… but to have a relationship? This has always been wrong, against nature!”

Those cold words merged with the chill spreading from Alexei’s centre, freezing him to the spot. He stood aghast, trying but failing repeatedly to process his grandfather’s response in his head. “I do not understand.”

“For once, you and I feel the same.”

“No.” He dipped his muzzle, finding Nathan practically curled up within his palms. “Clearly, we do not.”

“Regardless,” the older wolf scowled, setting off towards his armchair across the room. “You know my feelings.”

Alexei felt the panicked scrabble of his little husky’s limbs as Maxim got close, prompting him to move his paws to his chest in an effort to provide some semblance of security. He gave a growl, matching his grandfather’s expression. “I do know, and I do not care for them.”

Maxim stopped fast, scowl becoming a snarl. “You--”

“You speak of your feelings, but what of mine? You say for a Polcian and a Velikan to be together is wrong, that it is against nature. How can this be so if my feelings… my heart say it is right?”

“It is because you are a foolish child who knows not what he wants!”

“You think this? Really?” Alexei took a step forward, muzzle creasing even further. “I am no longer the child in the picture on your wall!”

“This I know!” The elder stood firm, his angry, green-yellow eyes now tinged with a hint of sorrow. “He is gone.”

“I am not gone, Grandpa,” Alexei replied, slowly calming. “I have just grown.”

“Yes, you have grown… grown to become taller perhaps, grown to become a stubborn, disrespectful wolf.”

He shook his head, trying hard to keep his tone level. “Grandma, she would have understood. She--”

“Do not speak of her!” Maxim boomed, causing Nathan to grasp anxiously at Alexei’s shirt. “Do not speak of what she would feel or not feel when she is not here!”

“She does not need to be! I know she would have wanted only what would make me happy. Why can you not be the same?”

The two wolves remained standing in the living area, their focus fixed unerringly upon one another. Alexei could sense his hackles rising, an undercurrent of fear and sadness running through the sea of rage in his mind. Never before had he held such anger towards his grandfather, nor had they argued so intensely.

“Petulant child,” Maxim rumbled. “This is one thing you have always been.”

The young wolf’s ears folded as he resisted a whimper, zeroing in upon the most cutting of responses he could muster. “And you… you are a fucking bigot. Something it seems you have always been.” He chose not to wait for the fallout from that, spinning around to grab his jacket from the couch with one paw while holding Nathan firm in the other.

“I wish never to see this Polcian again,” the elder gruffed after a long pause, switching from Velikan to no doubt ensure Nathan wouldn’t miss it.

Alexei continued his march towards the doorway without once looking back, catching a glimpse of the old family portrait on his way out. Only then could he make out the aged layer dust that had collected upon the glass. “Again, I do not care for what you wish,” he mumbled uneasily, storming out into the hallway to leave his grandfather behind.

The early evening air blew crisp and strong, forcing Alexei to struggle back into his jacket as he paced down the front path.

“Alex… are you okay?”

He didn’t answer straight off, stopping only once he’d reached the street to place Nathan back into his chest pocket. “I… not really.”

“What happened back there?”

With Alexei’s burning anger subsiding, only the sorrow remained. “I…” He pressed a paw to his eyes, as if to create a dam against the tears quickly building behind them.

“Okay, let’s head home and talk about it there,” Nathan suggested gently, his little paw patting at the wolf’s chest. Alexei forced a swift nod in response, wetness leaking out past his fingers. “Oh, hon. Please don’t cry. It’ll be okay.”

He lowered his arm, leaving a tear to roll freely down his cheek. “I am thinking… it will not.” Wiping his eyes, he set off along the pavement and away from his grandfather’s home.

“Whatever was said, I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

Alexei bit his lip, struggling to match Nathan’s positivity. He looked back towards the living room window of the old blue house, just in time to see, or at least think he saw, a paw disappearing from the edge of its net curtaining.

“Will we get the bus home, Alex?”

“No,” Alexei sniffled, rubbing the tears from his face again. “I wish not to be seen this way. It is only thirty minutes to walk.”

“That’s fine. The air’ll do us good.” The little husky shuffled around within the jacket pocket, stretching his arms to give the wolf as big a hug as he could. “I’ll be here for you.”

“Thank you, Nate,” Alexei choked, forcing a smile and returning the embrace as he continued down the hill towards home.