We all have someone we look up to as a person to emulate

That person, whether related or not, that puts us in a state

Of a desire to strive harder and push further to our goals

How we all grow up strong stallions and mares after being foals

 

We pay close attention to how they act and to what they do

And use their actions and responses as a barometer on who

We want to become and the life we want to follow and then lead

Growing through our months and years, satisfying our need

 

Of having someone to look at and trust as a guide and a teacher

It could be a family member, an artist or your church preacher

Whoever it is and whatever they do on a day to day basis

Is all a path for us to follow in trust as we go through our paces

 

We grow from toddlers looking up at how our parents tend to act

And from there we work to be the same or improve on what they lacked

During that time we believe wholeheartedly that their integrity is intact

But what happens when all falls and you wind up getting shellacked

 

You expected him to be there to once again teach you how to play

You were excited to continue on from where you were the last day

Your instrument of music in your hands as you prepare for the next piece

Expectations so high after your last concert, the band so eager to please

 

But something is wrong, there’s a new feeling in your gut that isn’t welcome

An ominous sense that some unexpected disaster shall come

You’re not sure what it is, but as you walk back into your school

You hear your band director broke a policy rule

 

But the news of this calamity is only the start of what’s so clear

He won’t be back after Christmas break to begin the new year

Just this one mistake, this one lapse in judgment that is so critical

Throwing the whole band into confused hurt and it’s pitiful

 

That one man’s immature and selfish err in his complete lack of thought

Is now leaving all the adolescents that looked up to him so distraught

So confused, their minds completely torn and left opened up

Some in denial, others in cold hard acceptance and others wanting to throw up

 

How do they all feel now, with their world of safety so literally torn apart

The walls that they had considered refuge now more a pain in their heart

The pain they alone feel as their director leaves is just the start

As the others in the school, the cruel ones, add them all to their part

 

Of degradation and self-mutilation, determined to scar others with them

Taking no prisoners, but spending each class to take the time to dis him

Some make a few jokes, but more find it some habitual desire

To continue to make the puns and insults and to continue feeding the fire

 

Until either the bell rings and the simmering pot cools off just a dash

The five minutes in between classes not enough to keep the trash

Off their backs as the jerks follow them outside of the room

Looking for more broken and throttled hearts to cook and consume

 

For it is human nature to single out the weak and the weary

And then it seems like superior human intelligence must just be a theory

For any sane and caring mind would take the time to understand

Instead of spending the day throwing others feelings in a trash can

 

I sit back and I feel the pain, the numbing slaughter of what they held onto

And it forces me to sit back and apologize for the way they all taunt you

For I am part of it as I am a member of this impossible to understand species

Who one day show love and compassion, then the very next day throw feces

 

Is this what intelligence is? Is this really what having the smarter mind means

That it enables all of us to look down on others and spew stuff that’s obscene

In nature and holds a desire to only hurt, sting and break the spirits

Of those already broken and hurting and now they have to hear it

 

From these people who don’t, can’t and refuse to care and listen

Sitting two seats back in math class spending their whole time dissing

On the guy you trusted, on the one you thought you so very well knew

Now wary of everyone after what the band director did to you

 

Who do you trust now? If he can’t be trusted, then who should it be

You knew him as your director for a half a year plus another three

He was someone who was there every day, someone to be trusted

All until the day the cops came, he resigned and was subsequently busted

 

For having inappropriate relationships with what used to be his student

The one thing after our softball coach that you just knew he couldn’t

Possibly do because he would know how much it hurt our school

When the last guy was caught for child pornography, made us look like fools

 

But the unthinkable happened and now you and your band friends get to

Pick up all the pieces he shattered when he chose to risk it all and then left you

It’s a crime within another one, for he left a mark on all of your lives

I just pray and hope, my little sister, that the pain soon subsides

 

For though it is messed up and totally should not have happened at all

Understand this had nothing to do with you and was purely his fall

He not only put his career and his passion out there to dry

But he left you and about fifty others to sit back in confusion and ask why

 

Neither one of us could have envisioned this; I remember when he first came

He seemed like a bright guy, one whose heart for music was a passionate flame

Knowing what he did to you makes me glad I wasn’t there at the time

Because I would have decked the very first jerk I heard finish his very first line

 

I would have done it because I know how much playing the clarinet meant

And how much you were enjoying all the huge places you had been sent

Huge performances, in front of people numbering hundreds, if not thousands

Tasting the fun I had in choir as you proudly perform to the crowds and

 

Are washed away in joy and pride as the months of hard work come together

Playing your silver instrument, thoughts of such utter betrayal never

Crossing your mind as you concentrate on pleasing the crowd and yourself

The fun you find in music and the band always adding to the wealth

 

Of what you always walked into in the morning, every day you left Mom’s car

Traveling down that short little hill, ready to play your clarinet like the star

You totally are, understand and know it was hit fault and had nothing to do

With you, he screwed up, but that was his choice, and he knew

 

You didn’t, you couldn’t have, he was the player of instruments you want to be

And knowing how good you are at what you do, it’s quite plain to see

That you have the skills and the drive to be anything you want in a career

Just buck up, drive on, as my sergeant would say, and get back in gear

 

Betrayal hurts, but it is not something that you can’t get back up from

Don’t let his decision mar your passion, learn from it and grow some

More as the wonderful person and quite fortunately for me, the sister you are

He’s off track, but you’re still on the green, now putt it in and score under par

 

Remember that I’m always there for you and I won’t hesitate to sacrifice

Any time that you need to talk, even if sometimes we don’t talk so nice

Understand that it’s all just in fun, and that I respect you as your own individual

You’re beautiful just being yourself; always loved how your laughter is mutual

 

Your constant humor and the smile always plastered on your face

To see one man’s utter stupidity to take it away in any sector is a disgrace

You are my sister, nearly seventeen years old, dear God, I am so very proud

To simply look at you and call you my sister so obnoxiously loud

 

I love how much you care about the others around you, it reminds me of me

How we both feel the pain the others go through, it’s plain to see

That I was blessed by the power that lives in the world above

To have you around as a sister to grow with, have fun being around and love

 

Don’t ever shortchange yourself, always go for broke, shoot for the stars

Whether you choose to fly airplanes, join the peace corps or read music off bars

I’ll be there to support you, no matter what decision you make

Just be yourself and you’ll succeed in anything, never be a fake

 

Happy upcoming birthday, my dear little sister, though I’m not so sure about little

I remember you in kindergarden, back when both our lives were so simple

But time has passed and I’m staring at you asking myself how you’re so old

Just enjoy life, be yourself and you’ll see how much you won’t notice the cold