One of the most embarrassing incidents for both human and lupine kind in the 41st century was the Trallian border war. It was a tragedy for both sides. 500,000 human soldiers, 18,800 human colonists , but the loss to the lupines was even worse. Rumour has it that the 2 million member army of the lupines committed ritual suicide at the end of the war. There are no known lupine survivors of the war. However there were some 200 survivors of the human colonies... and they will never forget.. It also signified the end of the Expansionist era and the start of mutual terms between the Lupine and Human governments. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Over the past few years a student exchange between the lupines and human colonies have started, and also teaching staff as well. One grew used to their tall furred forms padding around the grounds, and their rumbled growls and clipped consonance. Ann Worsley watched the older padding lupine talking with the younger student. His tall measured pace and regal bearing reminded her of someone she had meet briefly many years before. She wandered closer and pretended to drop her book next to him. Politely he bent down and retrieved it for her. She hesitated as she looked at the hand/paw holding the book - one of the fingers was missing and wrinkled scarred fur covered the rest. Looking up into his face she saw the similar scarred fur over the left side of his face. He smiled at her - human style revealing a fake left canine tooth." "Your book miss.. " he rumbled courteously. "Thank you.. I'm Anne Worsley" " TrrLr Nerke. Professor of Lupine History". No sign of recognition shone in his eyes... but she knew him... "I have not seen you here before " she asked politely "Ah.. I arrived only 2 days ago." Nodding to each other they parted and walked away. TrrLr still chatting with the student. ------------------------------------------- Anne was sure now. For nearly 15 years that face had been in her nightmares. As a survivor of the Avelain colony she had been told not to talk about what she had seen. But the stories she heard before they were rescued - wholesale slaughter of the civilians, starvation, bombings of homes, until Earth force came and rescued here. She wanted 'justice' for the loss of her friends, and her parents. She alone was the only survivor of her block. And Avelain was now off limits to both sides. Another memorial to war. Looking through the universities directory she found that the professor had an office on the second floor. She bided her time in the library until it was dark, and then wandered into the courtyard. Glancing up she could see his light on and the faint shadows of movement. Good - he was still there!. Breaking into a cleaners cupboard she grabbed a beaker and filled it with a flammable cleaning solution, and covered the beaker.. Carrying the breaker of accelerant Ann carefully climbed the stairs. Pausing outside the professors door she hesitates, and drawing a breath.. Knocked softly. "Come in" the clipped baritone called from inside. Ann entered and saw the tall furred figure standing, reading something on the desk. As he turned she threw the volatile liquid into his muzzle TrrLr gasped as the liquid stung his eyes and burned his nasal membranes. A coldness gripped his skin as the liquid sunk into his pelt. Blinking tears from his eyes he could see a blurred figure standing near the door, something gripped and pointed in its hand. A feminine voice grated to his ears "This is an igniter you murderous bastard.. one move and your fried!!" TrrLr paused, not knowing what to do.. "Whhaa Whaat " he stammered. "Who are you.. why do you do this". Anne paused and gathered her rage "Avelain.. remember that place Commander.." "Avelain.., Commander.. you must be mistaken. Avelain I know of, Commander - there are no military personnel alive from that incident.. They are dead.. all of them.." ""No.. I know you.. I confirmed it when I spoke with you. I will never forget what I saw. What I lived through.. I have nightmares and you are in them Remember me.. cause I Remember you." "That was - 15 years ago, how can you be so sure". TrrLr lowered his bulk carefully into a chair, wrapping his tail around his feet. Shivering slightly as his body evaporated the stinking fluid. "I was 8 years old.. I remember you coming to our house, Your scarred face, your hand with the missing claw finger. You spoke with my mother and father and they sent me away. I never saw them again you Bastard. I found our later that you killed them. You.. Personally.. Pulled.. The.. Trigger.." Under her gaze TrrLr seemed to shrink into himself, he sighed as memories flooded back "How little you know about what really happened. Yes. I was Commander Yrtr of the 5th Tarnv. I have lived with what happened for over 15 years and I am tired. I can tell you what really happened and then you can kill me. Or you can kill me now" He fixed her with a look that spanned the years. "The Earth government was at the end of a period of aggressive expansion when it met our borders. They wanted to push us back and ignored any treaty arguments. In the end we had to hold our ground. The Avelain colony was the latest encroachment within our boarders. So we invaded it hoping to push you back off the planet. What followed was disaster - Earth attacked and held us on the planet - Blockade I believe your word was. Earth had already decided that the colony was lost and thus had nothing to loose." "How can I believe you?' "Check the population density census for that time. You will see that it peaked around the time of the invasion and then started to drop after the treaty. Your people were suffocating on your worlds and wanted more at any cost." Anne nodded.. Still not sure what to believe.. TrrLr continued "We were being held down and bombed. The Earth forces believed that by destroying the colony supply depot's they would starve us out. But we had our own supplies and.. " sighing he lowered hs muzzle and closed his eyes "our dietary needs are not compatible with yours. Our proteins will kill you, and visa versa. What is your saying - 'One Mans Food is Another Mans Poison' We had 20,000 colonists on our hands. They had already decided to join our struggle after seeing how Earth Force was only interested in the land, not the people. But with no food - we could not feed them.. We had managed to get a message through to our planetary bases and knew that help was on the way, together with human compatible protein, but it would take 3 months to reach us. I was one of those who had to make those decisions. We had enough food for about 200 people for 3 months. What would you do in that situation" "So you chose.." TrrLr sighed "No.. we first chose necessary people.. Medics, Councillors, and the planetary governor and his staff so we could keep civilian order. We found that children used less resources that adults - and that left 190 places. 190 to choose from nearly 20,000. Breaking the colony down into sections - each section was assigned to a Commander.." "You were the Commander of our section.." TrrLr nodded. "Using medical records and advice from your medical people we selected those children that were most likely to survive the coming hardship. And I went to each household and explained the decisions. Some did not take it... sensibly, other understood the situation. Given death from slow starvation to a quick end with a blaster - most took the blaster. It was not always voluntary, but we had no other choice." "My Parents.. " Anne asked "Accepted the decision with grace and honour. They sent you out to the pickup truck, embraced each other and whilst they were embraced... The rest is history" TrrLr drew a deep breath.. " One month later news of the conflict reached Earth.. Your government - already on shaky ground collapsed, and both sides withdrew. The adult survivors were sworn to silence on what really happened - although the new government understood the terrible choice we had to make, your people most probably would not. " "What about the this suicide thing.. all of your people were supposed to have died." TrrLr looked at her "You people celebrate war.. they keep list of those who died, have holidays commemorating conflicts, and numerous memorials.. To us.. wars are a time of shame when all other options have failed. If and when we need to war, each recruit is given a new identity for the duration, and when we are released that identity is destroyed. In effect - they die on that last day. It is a great crime amongst our people to recognise a person by their .. Warrior name, and likewise recognise a Warrior by his civilian name. This way - we try and heal afterwards and put the time of conflict behind us. Those who do not return are remembered as having lived, but died in an accident. Never the conflict. Now you know what has happened from one who also lived.. I am tired of these memories.. The endless faces.. Do what you will." He closed his eyes and lowered his muzzle. Eyes closed in sorrow. There was a soft click and then.. the sound of a door closing. -------------------------------------------------------------- Anne often saw him around the university, and when they passed - they politely nodded. But they never spoke again. However from that day on - it seemed that he walked with an older mien.