I walk out of my house, dressed in a suit. I have a bouquet of flowers in hand that I put next to me on the passenger seat of my car. It feels good to be back in my car after so long. My stomach clenches while the engine turns over, my body tense with what I’m about to do. Pulling out of the driveway, I turn on the music, not wanting to be alone with my thoughts just yet. Too bad I can’t help that.

It’s been a few weeks since the event with Laney and Interpol. It all seems like a blur looking back at it. I thought I was used to being hounded by paparazzi, but that wasn’t even close to true. I was followed everywhere by paparazzi from all around the world. Everyone who saw me whispered and I was upgraded to first class on the flight home. It didn’t feel right though, without Jake. It felt so empty and I didn’t get much sleep. My mind would not stop racing at all the “what ifs”. I was plagued by possibilities.

I got home and had to face a lot of questions from my parents. They were worried sick about me and they weren’t really upset with me for coming out. They were surprised, but not upset with me. Not really. They wanted me to be happy with Jake.

Jake...

Even his name makes my stomach churn.

I can’t believe...

I returned to the States with a lot of extra weight from all the gifts I got from those people who shared the traumatic experience with me. I guess they thought it would be a good public relations move. A few of them made pledges to move forward with legislation that would help the furs in their countries. I don’t know if they’d follow through or not. If there’s one thing I’ve learned time and time again, it’s that people lie.

I pull into the parking space, turn off the car and sitting in the lot in silence for a few minutes before I get out and grab the flowers. I check myself in the mirror and clench my hand into a fist, trying to get the tension out of my body.

After my parents were done fawning over me, I went to see Jake’s parents. They pulled me into the house and we cried together. We all held each other and let out all the emotions we had all been going through. We parted ways and my nerves got worse at what I would have to do next.

I walk into the building where I’m greeted by a fur who just nodded at me in recognition before I walk down the hallway. I know my way around pretty well, I’ve spent a lot of time here the past few days, getting ready for what was about to happen.

I place my hand on the door and calm my heart until I feel calm enough to turn the knob and open up the door.

“Hey! I was wondering when you’d make it,” Jake says, a smile on his face. He’s pulling a shirt on, his tail wagging behind him. My eye drops down to see the scar where he was operated on. He moves gently as he covers his stomach, treading carefully so as not to aggravate his wound. I’m given the same familiar smile I love to see when I step closer to him and kiss him softly. He smiles and we break, not wanting to do anything too involved.

Not today. Today’s the big day, Jake’s getting out of the hospital. He gets to go home and we get to be together like normal for the first time since we got back.

He was operated on in Europe and he was sent home to recover, but they wouldn’t let him be with me on the flight back. He was on a plane ahead of me, so I had to go on the plane alone. I was just relieved that he was alive. I didn’t think that he would make it... but here he is.

“How are you feeling, babe?” I ask him, handing over the flowers.

“I’m feeling pretty good, honestly. But if I have to spend another day in this damn hospital bed, I will cut a bitch,” he says, only half joking.

I take his hand and kiss it, smiling at him.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” I tell him.

“Of course I’m okay. I’m great. I get to go home with you today.”

“And you get to sign a mountain of paperwork, let’s not forget that,” I tease which makes him punch me and stretch out his body too much.

“Fuck,” he groans, clutching at his stomach.

“That’s what you get for trying to hit me,” I smile. He takes a step closer and kisses me softly, rubbing my side lightly to send tingles down my spine.

“You’re the best boyfriend, you know that, right?” he giggles at me.

“No, you!”

“Shut up,” he smiles.

“Yes, sir,” I giggle and he leans his head on my shoulder. We walk out the hospital room together, hand in hand.

He signs all the necessary paper work and I’m left sitting in the reception area while Jake talks to the doctors and nurses at the hospital.

I think about all we’ve been through together, all the times that he could have left me but he didn’t. Jake has stuck by me through every shitty day, every heartbreak and low point. Jake was the constant variable in my life and, though I keep second-guessing myself if I’m making the right move, he looks back in my direction making sure I’m still there with him; I know that I am. I know what I want. Without a doubt in my mind, I know exactly what I want. It’s Jake. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.

I may not know what I want to do with my life, but I know who I want to be with for the rest of my life. It’s Jake. It’s always been Jake. I must have been a fucking moron not to see how much he meant to me. I can find a job anywhere, I can make a career doing anything, but I can’t find another guy like him. I could look until my dying day, but I won’t find a guy as good as him.

When I know he isn’t looking, I check my pocket and pull out a small box. When I open it up, there’s the ring I picked out after asking for permission from his parents. I put it back in my pocket right before he turns around.

“Well then, are you ready to get going?” he asks me.

Nodding, I take his hand and hold it while we walk out the doors to start our life together.