Snakes are better

Than Saigas or Snails

Better than Foxes, Servals or Whales!

Better than Lichen, better than moss

Better than W.A.S.P or David Lee Roth!

They slither and writhe

On their bellies you see

The best mode of transport

This side of Ganymede!

A moon of Jupiter (shouldn’t you know?)

Snakes come from Space

Civilization in tow!

Building temples and pyramids

Inventing Tempeh and Whirly-gigs

Starting Politics and Peppa-Pig

Invading countries with Peppermint

Ogling ladies in Debenhams

Fighting Giants in Northern Lands

Punching Dragons in the Hams

Making love to Firemans

Snakes invented Rock

Music so fine

Only because

They were the last in Line!

Snakes are just better

It’s plain to see

Better than Werewolves

Better than Glee

Better than Facebook

And better than Tea!

Christians don’t like us

Because of their Book

We all know to tell ‘em

“take a good look!”

“It isn’t our fault, the Devil is sneaky

He doesn’t speak for us, he’s totally creepy!”

We say to the believers, all righteous and mad

But they still don’t like us

Even though we’re fab!

Snakes can see in infrared

But it doesn’t make them good in Bed

Smelling smells with our tongues

Oh dear lord this poem is long

I see no reason to pause…

How much more surreal can it get?

Baby, I haven’t scratched the surface yet!

Snakes are better

Everyone knows

From the tips of our tails

Right up to the nose!

Better than Cats

Better than Bats

Better than Polyunsaturated Fats!

Better than Aquariums

Better than Durians

Better than Antiquarians

Better than Turians

Snakes invented Mathemagicians

Constellations and Manchurians

Featherweight dusters and complex hulabalooians

Snakes can hear

With our bellies you know

Drop that Bass

And we’re sure to show

But we don’t like Dubstep

So don’t get us wrong

But we do enjoy

A good Metal song

Snakes discovered Gold

Snakes discovered Mold

Snakes discovered thirty-seven types of fold

Snakes discovered Earthquakes

Snakes discovered Milk-shakes

Snakes discovered Fire Escapes

Snakes discovered Audiotapes

This poem is ridiculous!

I hope you can see

No one type of rhyme

Is good enough for me

It’s a mess!

A Total disgrace!

But that doesn’t stop Snakes from being Ace!

That was a stretch

I know, It’s true

But really, this is better than a Haiku

So I leave you now

Scratching your heads

Wondering how to make sense

Of this silly tale of slithery fun

That isn’t my concern

My job is done

Snakes are better

You all know

Stop trying to hide

Come join the show!

We won’t bite

Although that could be a lie

I’m running out of things to rhyme

Oranges.

Shit.