Max wasn't one to question his existence, but oftentimes, he felt insignificant. Compared to the rest of the universe, he was just a tiny, teeny lump of atoms who happened to be aware of himself and the small world around him. The thirst for knowledge was boundless, and even the tallest of the tallest was still unable to touch the heavenly dots on the night sky.

Do you remember that night
Upon the land of eternal snow?
It was a beautiful sight
Of people dancing in mellow
May we touch the sky
Lest we from heavens leave
Watching the burrows lie
On the land of fiery sheen

The dog closed the book he was reading. That was… interesting, sure, but that wouldn't help him finish his homework. The book wasn't about German grammar, heck, it even had English translation of the rhymes.

Okay, so…

He pushed the book aside and stared at his German textbook. The questions looked simple, easy.

Easy, his arse.

What was this contijuguation… congugation… thing? Why did they have so many words for 'the'? What was even the difference between 'zu' and 'nach' anyway?!

He heard some noises and he glanced up. There were some girls looking at him while shyly giggling to themselves. One of them waved at him, but he just smiled back.

The girls giggled and went away.

He then saw Tom with a tray of books, putting them on the shelves with his tail lazily swaying as he did so. Well, they were in a corner of the library, anyway.

Sometimes, he thought he was cute. The wolf was… unique. There was a small cut on the lower part of his left ear. That was interesting, but nothing overly surprising. Although his fur colouration wasn't that special at all—grey with a lighter grey on his face and inner arms, hand, and maybe chest, stomach, and legs—his eyes were.

They were very light brown, almost red, and he'd be lying if he ever saw someone with that eye colour.

The wolf also fascinated him. Sure, Max had people gawking at him before, even those who outright flirted with him in broad daylight, men or women, but the wolf didn't. He seemed to have taken a liking to him, but he kept that to himself.

He wasn't against gays, but when they flirted with him as if he were a prey to be eaten, that bound to include some retorts or even punches. He also didn't want the details of what they said they wanted to do with him. But fuck it, the wolf looked cute when he was flustered. His tail was longer than other wolves he knew, too, and it looked downright fluffy.

Somehow, he felt like he had seen Tom before. But when? Maybe just another grey wolf since there were lots of them. Yet, he felt like he had met him before somewhere.

He leant back on the chair and took a deep breath. How long was it? When would the wolf's shift end?

Okay, back to his daydre—er, afternoon-dreaming. He glanced at the clock just above the wall of the entrance to the computer area, it was close to 17.20.

His gaze went back to Tom. The wolf didn't seem to know that he was sitting not that far from him, which allowed the dog to observe him more.

Tom was one of the guys he appreciated for not glorifying him as 'the football star'. It had been almost two months, and the wolf looked at him as if he was just any other student. Well, he did catch him stealing a few glances here and there in the classes, but at least he didn't make any move to get 'closer'—as in 'get closer to the football captain so I can get more attention'-closer—to him.

They chatted, sure, but mostly it was due to Max bumping into him in the hallways, canteens, even in other areas of the campus. Tom started some but he wasn't being overly clingy.

“Max?"

He looked up to find the wolf looking at him. “Yep?"

“You did your homework?"

“Dude, I got no idea about this." He pointed at his textbook.

Tom chuckled and glanced at the tray he was holding. “Just a few more books left." Then he went to another shelf.

Max smiled. The wolf didn't judge. That was something he really appreciated. So what if he was a jock and cared about his grades? Was it so downright bizarre if a football team member went to the library? The wolf just looked at him and shrugged as if it was not a big deal. Besides, if anyone wanted to wonder, they'd better wonder how Octo could be both a nerd and a jock at once.

He liked to get his mind as sharp as his muscles, thank you. Well, as sharp as he could, anyway. He was no way a nerd who aced all the classes he attended, but he had respectable grades, more than enough to keep his place on a football scholarship until graduation.

He glanced at his textbook again. Now that he thought about it, he should've lingered around after classes. But he couldn't do anything if people just swarmed him like nobody's business.

There was nothing wrong with asking his junior to help him with his homework, right? Tom didn't seem to mind him asking. True, he was the older one who was supposed to teach the wolf instead, but knowledge could come from anywhere, right?

His phone buzzed with a message. He picked it up. Andy Horny Kitty: “m8, u alive?"

He typed his response. “Unfortunately yes, thank you. U guys having a good time?:"

The reply was almost instantaneous. “Andy Horny Kitty: the sun's not even down yet u fool"

He chuckled and typed, “Too bad I'm not a weather machine." Then he put his phone away.

Huft. He reached for his textbook and read the first question. At least he shouldn't have zero knowledge on his homework.

Nope nope nope. He pushed the book away and slumped on the table, waiting for salvation to come from the skies. First, chemistry and biology, and now this? He really sucked at them.

He took a glance back at the book. The book just stared innocently at him.

He sighed in defeat.

Just when he was about to stand up, Tom came to his table, carrying his own German textbook and a laptop bag. His shirt was gone, replaced by a casual-looking striped t-shirt. There was a slight spring in his steps. Max chuckled, he surely was happy to work here.

The wolf smiled at him and put his book on the table in front of him. “Sorry. I wasn't long, was I?"

“Too long." Max didn't lift his head from the table. “I have just lost my will to go to the German class next Tuesday."

Tom laughed a little and sat down across him. “Mate, aren't you German? You know, from your last name."

“Don't remind me." Max covered his muzzle with his hand and closed his eyes. “I don't speak German."

“Oh, sorry."

The dog opened his eyes and looked at Tom. Damn, his eyes were really mesmerising. They were bright but dim. Brilliant, but pale. Brown, but red. No one had the right to possess eyes of such contrasting sheen.

And now they were looking at him in sympathy. Pity, maybe.

Max covered his eyes with his paws. “Please don't look at me like that." He then straightened up; just when he thought that the wolf didn't judge. His ears flattened in subdued annoyance.

“Oh, sorry." Tom looked away. He opened his book. “It's just…" he flipped the pages. “you remind me of my old self. Sorry, I didn't mean to think bad of you."

His old self? Now he stared at him in curiosity. Tom did look apologetic, he flipped the pages to look for their homework, almost absent-mindedly. Max could tell that his mind wasn't really here right now.

The library was a quiet place, and it turned even quieter when Tom stopped talking. He didn't look up from his book, as if scrutinising the text. Max was starting to feel bad, but there was something from the wolf that piqued his curiosity.

Tom sighed, and it seemed quite forced. “Really, sorry." He then looked up to look at his eyes with his ears nearly flat.

Max stared into the wolf's eyes, they were deeply apologetic. Tom didn't judge, but he could tell that he felt pity and sympathy towards someone. But that someone wasn't Max.

“Max, I…"

“It's okay, Tom." Max smiled, this time genuine, not teasing or grinning one. “We're both guilty."

“I…" The wolf looked away, deflated. “I guess you're right."

Max ruffled his head fur, this time smiling in delight, but he pulled his hand back when he noticed Tom wasn't moving.

In fact, Tom's eyes were wide. They were staring at the book, but they looked… hollow.

Max looked at his eyes, “Tom?" but regretted doing so.

Tom looked at him, no longer with wide eyes, but those eyes still looked drained of colours.

Just as quickly as it began, it stopped. The colours seeped in again, filling them with vibrancy. Those eyes shone again. The wolf's ears pointed back upwards as if nothing happened.

Max couldn't tear his gaze from him.

“Sorry about that," Tom said, but this time, his voice sounded different. He turned away, but looked at the dog again, smiling. “Where were we? Right, the homework."

Wait, the voice was wrong. It was too flat, too shallow. Even his accent changed.

“Tom?"

Tom looked at him. “Yes?"

Slowly, Max took his hand. “Thomas?"

“Yes—"

And it happened again. That smile faded, those eyes disappearing again. But this time, they didn't immediately come back. Max's worry was too great. “Tom, what's gotten into you?!"

No answer.

This time, Max dared look at him again. He almost shouted, “Tom?"

Several hushes were directed at them, he even saw someone walking towards him, but stopped and turned back.

Then the colours went back into his eyes. Tom blinked a few times, then looked at Max. “Max?"

“Tom, what happened?!" he shook his hand.

“I…" he looked at his hand, then he pulled it back from the other's hold and wiped his face. “I scared you, didn't I?" He said, “Sorry."

“Tom, what the fuck!"

“Mr Kleinschmidt, Mr Purnama! Please don't shout! This is a librar—."

Max and Tom turned their head to the direction of the sound. There was a bear staring at them, with many more looking at them, some whispering amongst themselves. Max then stood up and apologised, “I'm very sorry. It won't happen again."

The bear looked concerned. “Are you okay, kid? You weren't having a fight, did you?" he asked, looking at Max and Tom who was wiping his face.

“We di—"

“No, Mr Paddington." Max turned his head; the wolf was looking at the bear, but it was clear from his expression that he was troubled. “We didn't have a fight, I was just having a very bad day, that's all. And he was helping me to calm down."

“Are you sure, Tom?"

Tom took a deep breath. “Yeah. It's just… really a bad day, that's all. Sorry if I made a noise."

“If you say so, then." The bear didn't appear convinced, but he stepped away. “You know where I am if you need me." Then he walked away.

The dog sat back down. He noticed people were whispering, but he ignored them and looked at Tom. The wolf was holding his face in his hands, then he looked at the ground, then at the ceiling, then back at the book. Tom sighed and kept staring at the book until he took something from his laptop bag.

He took a water bottle and took a gulp. He then poured some into his hand and washed his face, using his hands to wipe it away.

“Tom," Max started, feeling unsure. What just happened? What was with Tom? “Are you okay?"

The wolf took another deep breath, then put the water bottle back into his laptop bag and looked at the book. “Yeah, I'm okay."

Max took his hand and said, “Thomas?"

Tom looked at him. There were some traces of the previous hollowness, but at least this time those eyes were back to that vibrant reddish brown. That voice was back, accompanied by his characteristically warm accent. His face looked flustered, but this time unlike the usual.

“What just happened?"

They stared at each other for a few moments until Tom looked away. “I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. That's not supposed to happen." His hand curled on the corner of the book, then relaxed again. “I'm sorry. That was…" his hand curled again, then relaxed. “let's just say there's a glitch in my brain."

“Tom…"

The wolf chuckled, but that chuckle was laced with bitterness. “I'm very sorry that you have to see that, of all people. Let's…" he pulled his hand. “let's just get on with the homework."

Tom was back on the book. Max looked at him and understood that he didn't want to talk about that. He let out a sigh and looked at his book again, his mind now at relative ease, seeing the wolf back being himself. “That happens often?"

The wolf took another deep breath. “Somewhat." he flipped a few pages. “It doesn't happen very often." He kept flipping the pages.

“You want to talk about it?" he asked genuinely.

In the short amount of time that they knew each other, Max already felt somewhat close to Tom. They weren't just contacts or acquaintances, but Max truly felt that the wolf was his friend. It was what, three months?

And that meant something, because while he had a lot of friends, there was only a small number that he would actually call real friends; a side-effect of being somewhat famous. Tom had been taking good care of him; he knew that the wolf was just doing his duty as the class captain, but no one would reply to his message and send him their study guide at 4 when they had a class at 8.

Tom did exactly that, and he was grateful. Because of that study guide, he got a B+ in Intro to Organisational Communication quiz last week.

“No, I…" Tom ran his fingers through his head fur, his ears never went up. “It's just…" he flipped the page and stared at it, then he looked at Max. “I'll… I'll tell you when I'm ready."

The dog nodded.

“When we're ready." The wolf corrected.

There was… something there, some urgency, even fear implied there. As if the thing that the wolf wanted to tell was something of great terribleness. Max saw something on the wolf's face, tiredness, defiance. Anger. Helplessness.

Suddenly, Tom's phone rang. Max almost jumped at it; he realised he'd been staring at the wolf for too long. He looked at his book and picked his pen up, continuing skimming the questions.

“What?!"

Max looked up. Tom was staring at his phone, this time in disbelief. He was about to ask again when he saw the other's smile slowly grew, this one more honest.

That feeling was contagious, and Max could hold back a smile. “What is it?"

“Max!" Tom looked at him, his eyes were sparkling with pure joy. “I made it to the final!"

Max could feel the happiness radiating from the wolf. “What final?"

“The provincial conference!" he took his phone and scrolled it. “I beat more than half thousand accepted submissions and I made it to the final!" he put it back down and gleamed in delight. The wolf then took a deep breath and rested on the chair, looking at the ceilings with a soft, relieved smile on his face. “Provincial Conference on Multiculturalism. I made it." He put his hand on his face. “I bloody made it. All these nights of clanking away are worth it."

“Congratulations, wolf." Max smiled at him. “You deserve it."

The dog was grateful for the mood boost. Well, there went the bad mood. The situation seemed livelier again.

Still, those eyes fascinated him. Tom was staring at him, a happy smile on his muzzle. His eyes were twinkling, so full of emotion, a contrast to earlier ones.

Now that he was back to normal—though the quick emotional turn was definitely not normal—he dared joke. “Looks like there'll be food to order." He straightened himself and put his pen aside. “I'm hungry."

“You're the twat who's supposed to buy me something." Tom kicked him under the table, making Max laugh. “Piss off."

“Getting creative at swearing, aren't we?"

“Sorry," Tom chuckled and glanced around. Max did the same, fortunately their area was getting deserted. “I couldn't help it."

Max grinned at him, “The god of swearing has fucking giveth you his power. You may use it."

“Tch." The wolf snickered. “Stupid wanker."

“Asshole."

“Horseshit."

“Dickhead."

“Bollocks."

“Son of a bitch."

Tom's snicker was wide. Max prepared himself, this one might be big.

“Cunt."

“Dude. Rude."

The wolf chuckled. “Mate, I speak 7 languages and have their swear words fully cocked."

Max faked a gape. “Oh, my." He bowed slightly at the wolf. “I am nothing, my lord. Please accept me as your humble apprentice."

“You may rise, for none shall be my equal."

Max looked at him. Tom looked at him back.

They laughed softly.

The library alarm suddenly went off. Attention, it is now 21.00. The library will close. Attention à tous. C'est maintenant 21 heures. La bibl...

Max glanced at the clock, it was 21.

How long had they been here again?

“Mate, get your stuff packed." Tom said with a smile. “They're not joking when they say the library will close."

Well, at least the wolf was fine now. There was no trace of his previous… mental breakdown. He looked happy, and when he stood up, he saw his tail wiggling in content. He wondered how the wolf could manage to flip his mood so quickly, but if it were what he needed, then Max wasn't complaining.

That was enough for him, he thought. While it still made him a bit anxious, the way Tom managed to calm himself so quickly amazed him. That… thing there was serious, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know it yet.

Oh wait, the homework.

“Dude, we, like, we didn't do the homework."

“Eh, that." Tom chuckled and picked up the book. He read it for a few moments, then closed it. “Nah, easy."

“Seriously?" Max stood up and pocketed his pen and phone.

“These are easy. You can just literally find the answers in a dictionary. Look for the verbs in the brackets, then pick the subject, and you get the conjugated form."

“Really? The part B?"

“The part B's only for those who failed the previous exam. We both passed."

Max kicked the chair back into place and put the rhyme book back into the shelf on his right. “Oh, great." He grinned as Tom walked next to him. He was about to put his hand around the other's shoulders, but he held back. What if the previous thing happened again? Would he be angry?

He contemplated it and decided that it wouldn't be good. Better not touch him for a few days.

They reached the lockers and pulled their bags.

“Give me your key card."

Max looked at Tom, who wiggled his eyebrows. “What?"

“The queue's long over there. You want to wait for them?"

He chuckled; he forgot he got a staff right here. “Hell no. Here."

Tom caught it with his muzzle, his hands busy with his bag. Max thought it was cute. He then took it from his muzzle and walked away. “Just wait outside, I'll give you your card."

Smiling to himself, he walked away. He noticed people looking at him on the queue and he glanced at them.

There were the girls from earlier. He grinned at them a bit. “Hey."

The girls nearly fainted. He quickly walked outside before any of them could ask for his number.

Not long after he made it outside, the front lamps were turned off. He took the stairs down and looked over the small park, down to the bus stop.

He wondered, which dorm did Tom live in?

“Oi, here."

Turning around, he saw the wolf and his library card. The wolf was in his jacket, black with something written on the right chest that he couldn't read.

“Thanks." Max accepted the card and put it in his wallet.

“Sure." Tom walked next to him. “In which dorm you live?"

Psh. The dog almost chuckled but held back. It was interesting how their mind worked in the same way. “In the east dorm."

“Ah, okay. I'm in the west dorm." Tom's ears went down a bit. “So, see you on Monday? Or you want to meet again tomorrow for the homework?" he let out a small laugh. “We didn't get to do it."

“Nah, I got plans tomorrow. I'll text if I need help." Max smiled and looked at him. “Are you going to be okay, though?"

He saw Tom's ears go up, then down again. Then the wolf turned to look at him with a small smile. “Yeah. I'll be okay. Don't worry."

Max didn't really believe him; while the wolf seemed stable now, who knew he wouldn't collapse on the way or even worse, in the middle of the road?

Tom's previous words ringed again in his mind. I'll tell you when I'm ready. When we're ready.

He nodded. He respected his secrets. If Tom was still uncomfortable telling it, then he wouldn't pry. He'd wait until he—they were ready.

“Okay then. Take care. Call or text me if you need me." He turned left towards his dorm. “You want me to walk you to your dorm?" He asked the wolf.

“Nah, it's okay." The wolf said as he smiled, then he turned and walked away. “Monday."

“Monday."

He wished Tom weren't going to faint on the way.

-

Damn it's only chapter four and I already freaked you out smh