Colour Me In

He didn't like this. He just couldn't like it. In fact, the raptor hated it. He hated his fears, his paranoia, and most of all, he hated her. Still, he had to greet her, much to his chagrin. With a smile on his, our raptor greeted the female. Her eyes, green. Her smile, white. Her boobs... Well... Were boobs. 

It was despicable.

He then decided to ask where Kyell was. She shook her head, and told him that Kyle was out. Probably still working at the shop. Getting more annoyed, the reptile tried to keep his composure.

Digging in his pocket, he got out a little, wrapped box and handed it to the female. She looked at it, confused.

"It's for Kyell. You probably know what it is. Just tell him I brought it and that I'm glad he keeps leaving me gifts."

She laughed at that.

It's hard to hate her, mostly due to the fact that she doesn't seem to pick up how much hate he harbors for her. The damn vixen. 

"How can anyone hate the person who's helping you go through problems?" he thought bitterly to himself.

With a little bow, the reptile made a smart remark about not having any time to wait for His Majesty and started to make his way back to his apartment. He heard her say her good nights and that she'd tell Kyell about how he forgot his watch again.

Cursing, our raptor kicked a rock. He felt cheated. Felt like he was disappearing. He didn't like the idea. Kyell always... was special to him. Now, oh oh oh, now... Now he's getting married tomorrow night.

To HER.

It annoyed him to no end. The fact that his friend couldn't see the pain he was going through. The little hints, the little jokes... Kyell was far too oblivious to his companions feelings. Far too caring, far too cold.

The raptor stopped, surprised he called his best friend cold. 

He took a deep breath and sighed. Was he that attached to him? To worry about him, to constantly think that he'll leave him... To think that he'll never be with him?

Shaking his head, the raptor remembered his silent oath. 

Never get close to anyone.

Taking this in mind, the raptor continued walking. Of course, he couldn't shake his feelings off. He couldn't come to terms with it. Kyell was always... handsome. And his friend. Somewhere along their time, he started to fall for him.

Now he is losing him to... that fox.

Deciding it was best for him to not think about his predicament, the young man sped up his pace towards home. He would play his piano. He would listen to music. He would take a nap. Anything to ignore this wedding day.

After a few minutes had passed, he found himself climbing up the steps towards his room. He opened the door, walked in, went to the bathroom, opened the mirror, took some pills, filled a cup of water, took the pills, drank the water, leaned against the sink, and closed his eyes.

He tried to calm himself down. He didn't like this. He knew he shouldn't have opened himself up to the damn dragon. To be honest with his... feelings. Of course Kyell helped him through his depression, and his new fiancé is helping him with his college work, but he couldn't feel happy about it.

All he cared about was his little talks with Kyell.

He looked up. He studied his face. It was fair. A bit angular, but it was... cute, as his ex girlfriend put it. He could see his eyes, how broken they were. He could see himself. And... Probably what Kyell sees.

A childhood friend who suffers from bipolar disorder, recovering alcoholic, and not entirely clever nor smart. Despite that, he is quite nice and fun to talk to. Other than that, he is a friend, right?

The raptor lowered his head again. He felt down. He felt angry. He felt exhausted. He felt nothing. With nothing better to do, the male slowly walked towards his room and closed the door. He sat down.

And cried.

---

He slowly woke up. He felt... something touching him. Warmth. And... was that a blanket? What? Too comfortable and too tired to really do anything, he stayed put, trying to remember what he did. He remembered crying, that was for sure. And something to do with hugging someone. Something about tea as well.

Then he realized it was his roommate fell asleep holding him.

With a defeated sigh, he closed his eyes. John always loved snuggles. He didn't expect to find himself like this. Still... This was better than being alone.

"Thanks... John."

Softly as he could, he curled up inside his roommates arms. Then he fell asleep.

---

Today was the day. Kyell was about to marry his woman, and the raptor felt nothing. John had tried to calm him down this morning, but to no avail. It was only after a call from Kyell he began to calm down. The raptor was the best man.

He studied his shoes. He didn't want to look. He didn't want to believe this was happening, but it was happening. His best friend was about to marry that fox in front of his very eyes. The raptor found it horrifying, angering, and quite sad.

It hurt.

"You may now kiss the bride."

He looked the other way. And felt nothing.

---

John was trying his best to comfort his friend. He was crying. He was hugging. Begging for John to just leave. So he'd end it all. John couldn't. The raptor needed someone to be with him.

"I love you way too much to let you do this to yourself. You are not alone."

The raptor just hugged the giant panda harder. His heart was hurting so much. But the damn panda was with him. That's what mattered.

After a few minutes of crying, the raptor softly pushed himself from the fluffy panda. He wiped his face, thinking he looked like a mess. He must be. He felt like one. The raptor sniffled and accepted the tissue that was offered to him. The reptile blew his nose a few times.

"Why... Why do you love... Me? Aren't you straight?"

"Just because I'm, straight, doesn't mean I can't love another male. While it isn't the love you have in mind, it still is love. You're my friend."

The raptor covered his hands and lowered his head. He felt empty. He felt alone.

"Trevor... Are you... Angry?"

He looked at the panda.

"Yes."

"At who?

Looking down, he simply said, "Myself. Kyell. Her."

The panda hugged Trevor once more. Longer than he should be. It felt uncomfortable.

"I can't hate you though. You're too nice."

"And that's bad because?"

Trevor decided he should just hug back. He felt... better like this.

"I dunno."

"Wanna watch some tv?"

"Sure."

Both of them got up from the floor and walked together toward the living room. Both sat down on the couch. John turned the tv on, and both held each other. The raptor wasn't sure how to feel about this, so he left it at that. He didn't care if Kyell walked in on them doing this. He felt better now.

"Thanks... John."

The panda just squeezed him in return.