"Really, I could lay out a feast with just a snap of my fingers if you'd let me use a little magic," Angelmaris grumbled for... Richard had lost count of how many times.


"And, again, I usually enjoy cooking," the shifter answered. "But I don't usually have an annoying little twerp complaining the entire time I do it. Just be patient, for crying out loud. I'm almost done."


And he usually did enjoy cooking. It was a bit of a meditative experience when he wasn't experimenting. He could let himself go on autopilot as he made something he was familiar with and think through any problems he had going on in his life. Such as how he was going to handle two new and unwanted roommates, both of whom were apparently going to be enrolling in college alongside him. One a fae lord, one formerly a harpy and now a hawk shifter like himself, neither of them with much of a clue how to exist in the normal human world. The word "fun" came to mind. With every possible sarcastic connotation attached.


Richard gave the egg portions a final flip to make sure they had been thoroughly cooked through, then used the spatula to scoop them out of the pan. He laid one atop each of the sausage patties that he had already cooked, then topped them with the final piece of bread before taking two of the plates in hand and turning to present them to his permanent guests.


"Voila! Sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich. The breakfast of champions. I've got milk, apple juice, or coffee to drink depending on your preference."


Angelmaris, sitting on a stool on the opposite side of the breakfast bar, eyed the offering with a frown. He pulled a face then glanced up at Richard with a slight glimmer of hope.


"Honeynettle and wormwood tea?"


"Milk. Apple juice. Coffee."


The fae sighed and asked for juice. Richard retrieved a glass and the jug, pouring out a portion and setting it alongside the plate before Angelmaris before turning to his other problem. She half-crouched beside the counter, staring at the plate and its occupant, twisting her head to and fro as she examined this strange "prey" she had been given, occasionally reaching a hesitant hand out to poke at it.


"Don't faeries have sandwiches?" he asked, exasperated.


"Sandwiches are pedestrian, plebeian fare," Angelmaris scoffed, though his own had magically vanished save for a few crumbs left on the plate. "She's probably more used to eating live rats."


The former harpy perked up at that, glancing from the fae to Richard, and he could only slap a hand over his eyes. "Cooked food, Crimson. Unless you're in hawk form. And out in the wilderness! We only do that out away from humans. It's dangerous to hunt where they live. Just... watch."


Richard picked up his own sandwich to demonstrate, and Crimson followed suit, watching him carefully as he took a bite. She did so as well, and her face lit up. She began cramming the thing into her mouth so that her cheeks bulged, and she had sandwich bits smeared all over the lower half of her face. The shifter could only laugh, especially when she finally managed to swallow and gave a hopeful chirp while glancing at his own sandwich. He tore it in half and gave that part to her, which she devoured with similar haste while he ate his half at a far more sedate pace.


"Okay, so, now I'm going to show you both how to clean these dishes. If I cook, one of you cleans, and you can trade off who does what."


"You realize that I can't touch the pan, yes?" Angelmaris cut in.


"Uh... why? It's not made of cold iron. It's stainless steel."


"The cold part is... more of a metaphor. Hot fire, cold iron. It's the iron part that matters, and steel is made of iron. The cutlery is... well, it's certainly not silver. Looks like... an aluminum alloy? Some zinc... copper, nickel. You mortals have gotten seriously cheap since the good old days..."


"And plastic. So, you can wash the plates and silverware, and I'll show Crimson how to wash the pots and pans."


"Very well..." The fae sighed and huffed. He came around the breakfast bar, saw the sink, and recoiled. "Nope! Steel. No, no, no."


Richard sighed heavily. "Okay. Well. We'll figure out other chores for you, then. Crimson? Do you have any problem learning how to wash dishes?"


She shook her head and joined him beside the sink, and he demonstrated washing the pan, spatula, and a plate, then left her to wash the remaining two plates on her own, each set gently into the drying rack beside the sink. She looked very proud of herself afterwards. Angelmaris, on the other hand, looked rather grumpy and put out for some reason.


"What chores can I assist with?" the fae demanded once they were done with the dishes, much to Richard's amusement and confusion. It was as if Angelmaris wanted to be helpful. "Well, I do! Yes, I can still read your thoughts. A little. If they're directed at me and we're in close proximity. You are officially my host. I am both your prisoner and your guest. So long as I abide by the laws of hospitality, and you do as well, I am... I... In this current situation, at this current moment, and for the foreseeable future... until this arrangement ends, you are technically my liege lord."


"I... what?"


The fae lord rolled his eyes and made an overly dramatic bow, sarcasm and disdain dripping from every syllable as he said, "I am yours to command, my lord."


"Oh, for the love of... Uh. Y'know, there really is a lot of steel in the human world. We're... I'll get you some gloves. Can you even open the refrigerator?"


"So long as I only touch the handle, yes. The door itself will burn me. The doorknobs, by the by, will pose no problem. Those are mostly copper alloy."


"How do you even know that?"


"I can hear the harmonics of the metal. Be thankful that I'm not a dragon."


The shifter blinked. "Okay. Y'know what? I think we could all do with a nap. It's not even four in the morning yet. We'll figure everything else out after that."


"If you so wish. I suppose your bed is big enough for three."


"Oh no! No, no, no. You sleep on the couch. Uh... Crimson, could you not do that?"


The red-haired woman had slipped up beneath his arm to cling to his side, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist while she nuzzled against his chest, making happy little cooes and chirps.


"Oh, boy..." Richard sighed, facepalming yet again. This was going to be... a complicated set of living arrangements, no matter how he tried to work things out.





Tags:


Summary: