Tom exited the restrooms with his new costume. It wasn't his usual one; he would only wear this one on special occasions. He looked down; if he dared say so, he looked... well...
“Badass costume, Tom." Theodore said to him.
The wolf inspected his costume. “Do I look like I'm exposing too much?"
The otter put his hand around the wolf's neck. “Nah, not really. If you have a body like James or Max then yeah you're exposing too much."
Because it was the Intercultural Festival and each booth attendant had to wear their traditional clothing, Tom had to wear traditional Dayak clothes. He borrowed the costume, but damn wasn't it exposing too much in his opinion. He only wore a black unbuttoned waistcoat with intricate colourful motifs, a wooden hand-carved necklace with numerous parts, and his pants looked like… well on the outside he wore short black sarong full of motifs. And there were many, many bird feathers on his head and wrists.
Actually, there was a flower necklace he had to wear, but he discarded it. Also, there was a dagger too but unfortunately he couldn't carry a real one around. Good thing this one was just a wooden replica.
He felt somewhat worried, going almost topless and exposing his light-grey furred chest and stomach like this. Even the absence of sleeves made him feel worried. He was a bit afraid that people would notice the uneven fur on some spots, the results of last week's encounter with those mafia members. He got some cuts, but good thing the scars were healed now, only the fur had not fully regrown yet. He just hoped people wouldn't notice them.
Actually, he wasn't sure what tribe did he belong to. He had always known that he was of Indonesian descent but that was it. That was disconcerting; it was like an identity crisis for him since there were more than 300 tribes there.
When he arrived at his booth, his friends wooed him, especially Lucy. He just threw them his committee costume, making them laugh. James teased him some more about having been spending time in the gym until he kicked the tiger and told him to get to work.
“Cool costume, loup."
Tom turned around. There was Martin in traditional French clothing. Martin's clothes were unique, though, as with every traditional clothes here. The red fox looked like he was from some French countryside, enjoying life to the fullest. The costume was festive, spacious yet dignified. Probably it was still connected to traditional Roman clothing of Latin countries since he remembered Spain had a similar clothing language.
A quick peek to the Spanish booth confirmed his thought.
“Heh, yours is cool too." He said and went inside the French booth where Martin was. “But it looks somewhat uncomfortable, though."
“Nah, it's actually more comfortable than it looks." Martin said, picking one of the baguette pieces and ate it.
Tom chuckled. “Why are you eating that? It's for the visitors."
“I'm the one who brought this here." Mart took another.
The wolf shrugged and took one. “I'm going to check the other booths, 'kay?"
“D'accord."
Giving the fox a double tap on the shoulder, Tom walked away. He had duties to attend, because being the class manager meant he had to become the project manager. Class logic could be out of logic sometimes.
He wanted to kick some arse in frustration. Preferably Kevin's.
The booths here were neatly organised based on continents. Next to his booth were the Vietnamese and Malaysian booths. The Japanese booth was still empty, but he knew they were on their way since Nguyen, the person-in-charge of the booths notified him earlier. The Philippine booth and Indian booth somehow managed to bring a tree, while Kazakh, Turkmen, Azerbaijani, and Armenian booths featured their own traditional patterns in the entrance, much like his own.
Honestly, this was amazing. Being in an intercultural festival like this made him realise just how small and large the world actually was. No one was the same, yet all was one.
“Tom."
He turned his head to see Nguyen standing with a clipboard in his hands. The water buffalo dressed somehow like him, but simpler. Somehow it reminded him of Javanese farmers, even the farmer's hat.
“Yeah?" he answered.
“We are opening in half an hour."
Tom nodded. “Make sure the entrance is already clear. The Japanese and Ethiopian booths should be ready soon, right?" He looked over the African section. “Eh, the Ethiopian booth is ready."
“That means the African section is ready. I'm also done checking the American section." Nguyen said. “You're needed on stage in half an hour, too."
“I'll go check the European section, and I'll be there when I'm needed on the stage, hopefully. Do I really need to speak on stage?" Tom wiped his face in mild embarrassment. Delivering a speech in this costume? He wasn't really looking forward to that. “Eh tuh look there's Takegami."
The other wanted to say something else, but Takegami pulled him aside, asking him to help them assemble the Japanese booth. Tom just chuckled and gave the water buffalo a thumbs-up.
He took a turn and walked towards the European section. They were mostly done, only the Swedish and Greek booths were still assembling their decorations. They wouldn't take long, he thought, those were just minor decorations.
The German booth looked nice.
No, not the German booth, but the one in the German booth.
Tom could only watch as Max finalised the decorations in his booth. The shepherd was in traditional German clothes, of course, but whoa didn't he look so good. He looked like… heck, he couldn't find the word.
His heart leapt in joy when he saw Kevin helping Max doing the booth. Finally they got along well. But his heart sank when he saw Max pulled someone into an embrace and laughed with Kevin.
Since that incident in Octo's dorm, there was no doubt that Max had been keeping a distance from him. They hung out less and less. They didn't hang out often in the first place, sure, but at least sometimes they went out to the café on the weekend or had a small conversation when they met in the hallway. But now…
He remembered last Wednesday when Max was with the football team. He and Lucy met them in an Anthropology faculty building hallway when they were going home. The folks greeted him like usual, but Max did not—didn't even look at him—and instead was quiet.
Now, Max was closer to Kevin than he had in the past year. And the fact that he had a new girlfriend certainly didn't help. He knew Max got a girlfriend two weeks ago, but he knew just how nice was Max to girls. Probably because he could really love girls, unlike Tom.
All of that drove Tom… jealous.
Max gave his new girlfriend a quick peck on the cheek, and Tom turned around with his ears flattened, ignoring the giggles that she made.
“That's absurd," Lain said behind his mind. “you're no one to him and you're jealous?"
Tom shook his head. “Shut up. I don't expect you to understand."
“I don't understand but I know stupidity when I see one."
“The world isn't a patchwork of grey like you see it."
But Lain had a reason. He was Max's no-one. Friend, sure, but friends could change. Love was hard to change.
What right did he have to be jealous when he was no one to him?
Tom walked away. What right did he have? If Max were happy with her, then so be it.
“Rough day, huh, mate?"
He looked up; there were Andy and Octo in front of him. The lion gave him a pat on the back and walked with him.
Tom sighed. “I guess you could say that."
“We're here for you." Octo said. “Wanna get something to drink later tonight?"
“I'd like to but I need to wrap this event up. I'm sure I'll be up till late."
Andy patted him. “You, my wolf, is my inspiration."
“Maybe you can start imitating your inspiration."
“Octo! That hurts!"
Tom chuckled a bit. His mood was going up a little.
“Nice costume, by the way."
“Yeah mate, you look badarse. 'Specially with these feathers."
“Thanks." He let out a small laugh. “So, how's your thesis going?"
Octo hummed. “Still on chapter 2, though I'm sure I can finish it this week."
“Don't ask me about my thesis." Andy groaned, “I've got classes to retake this semester."
They reached the Indonesian booth. “Well, looks like you're going to graduate with my batch."
“Yeah, that sucks."
Tom laughed.
“Oh, hello, Andy, Octo!" Lucy chimed in with plastic bags in her hands. “Do you mind helping us finalise the decoration? Good thing the delivery man got here on time."
“Of course not, Lucy." Octo said and took the wayang from the cat's hand. “Where does this one go?"
“Over there. Kau juga bantu, Tom."
“Iya, iya."
The cat gave another wayang to Andy who put it next to the one Octo did. Tom sat aside and let out a sigh; today was going to be busy.
Absent-mindedly, he took one lemper he himself had made and ate it as he stared at the sky, earning a whack from a furious Lucy.
Tom sighed into the dark sky above. The festival was finished, the booths were being disassembled, and he was back into his committee costume. The day was coming to an end and the reports were going to rise soon.
The lecturer told him that the event was a big success. They had planned, marketed, promoted, and managed the event very well. She was thoroughly impressed and promised she'd give them all an A.
Because it was open to the public, the number of attendees exceeded their expectation. So much so, in fact, that the traditional food and sponsor food/merchandise supply in several booths ran out during the event. Good thing restocking was quick because the sponsors were quick to help them and communicated with the vendors.
Even one of the sponsors said they doubled the amount of their contribution because they received a lot more than what was in the memorandum of understanding.
Yet, behind all those good things, Tom was sad.
His friends were still busy taking photos in front of the stage in the main venue, Martin and Lucy being super excited when they saw a camera. He joined them before, but he managed to sneak past them when no one noticed and sit down on one of the secluded corners near the backstage.
That was fine; he was used to being ignored anyway. No, he was sad because of another reason.
Max didn't say anything to him during the day, heck, he was the person in charge of the sponsorship division yet the dog did not bloody report anything to him until the other guys in the sponsorship division complained to him.
Instead, the German Shepherd was busy flirting with his girlfriend. Tom could understand that, no matter how much that made him jealous, but what made him angry and sad was that Max and Kevin were together for the entire day.
That… that was… if Max avoided Tom because he was being somewhat gay and kissed him, then why in the flying fuck didn't Max avoid Kevin who did much, much worse things? Tom was there when Kevin 'jokingly' groped him in his nether regions—maybe it really was a joke, he didn't know—but Max didn't do anything. Instead, he just laughed and shrugged it off.
That burned the last bit of patience within Tom, and with a loud roar, he kicked a bucket in the backstage when no one was there. It flew a few metres away into the bushes.
Fuck that, he'd find it tomorrow.
Afterwards, his emotions turned the other way. He was sad and angry, sad because apparently he was not enough for Max. Sad because he had destroyed the fragile relationship he had with Max. Angry because Max chose to throw him away like they had never met. Angry because he allowed it to happen.
Lain helped him calm down before, and Tom appreciated it, but right now, he wanted to be left alone. Lain respected that and retreated into the depths of his mind.
He was not good enough. He wasn't worthy of being with Max.
Max deserved someone better, someone who wasn't as broken as him. Someone who had a happy childhood and not someone who kept escaping from the cruelties of the world. Someone who did not have a thousand scars throughout his body. Someone who did not hate the world.
Someone whom actually the dog could love.
You're just a mistake! rang inside his mind. You don't deserve to live.
He stared at the endless expanse of the night sky and let out another sigh. It was nothing. His problem was nothing. Compared to the greatness of the universe, his problem seemed like dust, trivial, not important.
Yes, he would get over it soon. Life would continue as usual. One day, he was going to forget about his ever-growing, unrequited liking for Max and find someone else. Clearly, after these past weeks avoiding him, Max did not want anything to do with him anymore. Maybe he had been too forward that day, maybe Max had a reason. He was responsible for this; everyone was responsible for what they did.
He took a deep breath and let it go. Then, his problem seemed like nothing.
He had two more semesters to go through, and he had to focus on those if he wanted to graduate on time.
He then heard several steps towards him, followed by a hand on his back. “Hey cute stuff, we're heading home now."
Turning around, he faked a smile and forced his ears to go up. “Thanks a lot for helping us, Kev."
“Nah, that's nothing, but I'd like my payment in ass." The red wolf said with a laugh. Behind him, he could see Max walking towards him with his girlfriend in his arm. “See ya 'round."
Kevin waved his hand and walked away, followed by Max and Octo. Tom could see that Max deliberately tried to avoid eye contact.
“See ya." He said softly, almost whispering, not looking at any of them in particular.
He wanted to stand up and go to the committee room to pack his things and go home. He wanted nothing more than to sleep before his emotions could overwhelm him. They had done the final review and he dismissed the board of directors for today. Many of the committees had left already.
“You seem down, Tom." Octo said from behind him, making him sigh.
He turned to the panther. “It's been a busy day, I guess."
“No, it's more than that." The panther sat next to him, rolling the sleeves of his shirt back. “Something's troubling you."
He opened his muzzle to argue, but no sound came out. Octo was right.
“You don't need to tell me, just… I figured you might need a company."
His ears went down, as did his gaze. “Thanks, Oct." Leaning on his hands, he looked back at the stars.
They sat in a content silence for a while, enjoying just being with each other. Somehow, Octo could read people easily. That was quite alarming to Tom since he didn't want to let anyone know about his crush—or about himself, really—but at the same time it was welcomed and comforting since there was someone physical who could understand and sympathise with him without knowing the full story.
In a lot of ways, Octo was just like James and him. He was quiet, reserved, and never lost his cool. He was also handsome and packed, too, if his memory from that winter day in Andy's house a few months ago still wasn't fooling him.
Octo was really hot and alluring in a bad boy way, but to Tom, he was more like a figure of an older brother. He might not be there all the time, but when he did, it was comforting.
The big panther bought him a pizza a few weeks ago. They were hanging out at his place, him, Andy, John, and James. Tom was elated and a bit embarrassed with the gift. However, they need something to munch while playing video games. When everyone had left and he was only with Octo, he asked him how the panther could balance classes and football, and he received some advice.
He was right, he was the least insufferable of them.
“Martin left already if you're wondering. He wanted to go with you but you looked like you didn't want to be disturbed, so he told me to tell you." The panther's tail swayed, touching his own tail occasionally.
“Yeah, I figured." Tom replied, then he chuckled a bit. “He kind of shouted 'I'm going home' before."
“That's classic Martin, alright."
They both laughed a little.
He wanted to ask Octo about this… problem. Maybe not that he had a crush on Max, but just… how to handle unrequited love in general. But he didn't want to since that kind of gave away the fact that he was down because he liked someone. Octo could keep secrets but he… he wasn't ready to tell anyone. It had been almost a year and he still couldn't handle his own feelings. He was a disgrace.
The wolf took a deep breath.
His ears twitched a bit when he felt the panther was looking at him, but he ignored it. Yet in the corner of his eye, he could make out the concerned look in the other's eyes.
“So, I heard the prof was very impressed." Octo said, getting closer to him and pulling him into his hold. “I also heard a certain grey wolf made three entire classes get an A."
Tom chuckled a bit and let himself be manipulated. The big panther's sturdy body was pressed against him, but the action felt more like friendly than flirty. He leant closer to the comforting warmth the panther provided. “Wow, I wonder which grey wolf managed to do that."
“Me too. Maybe that one over there."
He squinted his eyes to the spot Octo pointed. “That's a badger, you know."
“My bad." Octo chuckled. “Apparently, the grey wolf is smarter than me."
Tom chuckled, too.
“You're not hanging out with the football team? Anyway, thanks for the compliment." He asked him.
“You deserve that." The panther said. “Not really feel like it. Probably few are going to show up anyway since there's thesis and stuff. So, wanna hang out?"
Tom turned his head and looked at the panther's brown eyes. There was a small grin on the panther's mouth. “We are hanging out, you know."
Octo laughed and made him smile in return.
“Besides, it's past midnight. We should go get some sleep."
“Tomorrow is Sunday."
“Ya but there're lots of things to be done." He looked behind. “Like those."
Octo dismissed that. “Give it to your vice PM. You did great today and you deserve a rest."
Tom chuckled a bit.
“Seriously though, you need a rest. Perhaps we should get back and wrap this day up before midnight… wait it's already past midnight." Octo continued.
“Ya, you're right."
They both stood up and walked towards the committee room. There were still several people there who were handling the logistical stuff. Theodore was still there too, lifting pieces of the booths to a pick-up lorry.
Inside the room, Tom quickly packed his stuff. He'd clean the Dayak costume before returning it on Sunday. He unplugged his phone and charger and put them into his backpack, then stood up and left the room with Octo.
“I'm going home ya!" he shouted when they were outside. “Don't take too long, go sleep!"
Several thanks were directed at his way, and with a wave of his hand, he walked away.
“Here, let me walk you home."
“Thanks, mate."
“Wait,"
Tom turned around and furrowed his eyebrows a bit when Octo pulled his backpack away. He let the large panther do so. Octo put it on his back.
“Uh, you don't need to carry my backpack."
Octo just beckoned him to walk. “You look like you can pass out any minute."
Tom looked at the road and sighed. “Iya sih. But isn't it heavy?"
“It's not that heavy."
“Oh right, I forgot I'm talking to a muscled lad one and a half my size." He let out a chuckle; the panther just rolled his eyes good-naturedly.
When they reached the west dorm, Octo insisted on walking him right into his room, so the wolf let him. He dropped the backpack when they arrived at his dorm. Octo smiled and petted the wolf's head. “If you need anything, just text or call me, alright?"
“Sure. Thank you so much, mate." He smiled back. “Really deh, thank you so much today for helping."
“You're welcome. See ya." Octo gave a wave, then went away.
“See ya."
As soon after he closed the door, Tom launched himself into his bed, curling up to hug his bolster and let out a deep breath.
Today had been an emotional rollercoaster for him, and he was glad that it was over. Octo helped too; he made him a lot less miserable than before.
He'd clean up tomorrow, preferably when his heart decided to stop beating so irrepressibly at the thought of Max.
Love could be blinding, couldn't it?
Notes:
D'accord: Sure/of course
Kau juga bantu, Tom: You help too, Tom
Iya/ya: yes, yeah
Iya sih: well, yeah
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