The Simpsons household saw almost anything that could be imagined in past life, including such aberrations as the man of the house becoming self-titled inventor, actual genius or even an astronaut, although still remembered as Bart strangler. But this time, that man, with the pathetic excuse of a hairstyle, completely got over himself.
The morning started as usual, where most members of a barely functional family dined at the kitchen table, while kids enjoyed sugary snacks disguised as healthy breakfast, called cereal. Lisa tried to disregard what happened just yesterday, when her dad as usual got not only himself but also the entire family in trouble, this time infuriating a local gypsy woman. But hey, curses don't exist, right? Being a well self-educated girl as herself, believing in something that can't be proven, was sillier than Homer trying to get a degree in nuclear science.
But a sudden, hoarse shriek interrupted the feast, when Marge entered the room, looking vastly differently than usual. While her head always was adorned by a gigantic pile of hair, now a mystical beard and moustache were an interesting addition to her face.
- Mom? What happened? - Lisa was the first one, seeing the change. Her brother and dad were too focused on sweet, or savory and greasy food, slowly affecting their minds - are you okay?
- I just woke up like this. Homer, is it because of that Romanian lady? Maybe you should say sorry to her?
Chubby home-owner munched on the last strip of bacon, finally startled by Marge's fresh look. But hearing about potential apologizing to that crazy witch made him shudder.
- Big deal. Just use one of my razors, honey. They are barely touched - he finally replied, swallowing porky goodness.
- Why? Because you're too fat to reach that hairy butt of yours? - Bart laughed, almost immediately attacked by his own dad, where his hands reached his throat. But instead of choking, something else happened. His throttle resembled a plastic hose, slipping away from Homer's reach.
- What the... why you little... - father grunted, trying to grasp him again, but it moved too swiftly like a snake.
- I like this curse! Can't wait to show it to Skinner.
While Lisa always thought she lived in a madhouse, this time it reached a new level. Quite relieved that she also didn't grow any facial hair, something else truly bothered her well being. Scratching one of her legs, felt a bunch of thick hair sticking out. Not just the usual patch that many women had after weeks of not shaving. An irregular hair that should belong to… an animal?
Her shoes dropped with an audible thump, not able to fit her own feet anymore. Instead of regular toes, she could notice grey, perfectly trimmed horse hooves. And above them, long, fuzzy and irritating chestnut-brown hair.. Instead of human knees, hocks were located, while whole limbs wanted to bend the other way. So that's why the chair felt so awkward this morning!
Lifting her skirt after standing up on the kitchen floor, she revealed a horrific view, horse-like lower half of body. Or satyr, she remembered, since those mythological creatures were bipedal, unlike their feral cousins.
But it wasn't the worst thing.
When checking where those cursed hide ends, her fingers ruffled through it around thighs, when suddenly feeling something else that definitely shouldn't be there. While, yes, humans had a tail bone, but definitely not that prominent. Shuddering from a mere touch, Lisa discovered that she indeed had a rather fluffy and long tail for a horse or pony. Not a moment after transformation, and she already tried to find proper equine names for herself. The spiky-haired girl raised her remarkable, rosy-brown color of her appendage to her eyes, full of sheer horror. Now she definitely couldn't show up like that, even if it was her favorite temple of learning, known as school.
Seeing that her mother departed to living room, she tried to leave the kitchen and its still struggling residents. Seeing Bart getting choked for hundreds of times, she knew it was safe to leave.
Trying to walk on her newly transformed limbs, instead she performed a mixture of exotic dance mixed with swift running, her newly formed hooves clopping loudly on the tiled kitchen floor. Supporting herself on the door frame, she called Marge out.
- Mom?
Marge used a hand mirror, trying to comb her avant-garde beard, especially for a female, now looking at the reflection of her part-filly daughter.
- I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm just trying to make it more... suitable, since it only grows back up.
- Could you call the school that I'm... not able to attend today?
Now completely shocked, Marge put away her mirror and turned to Lisa, not used to such a statement. Mostly where she missed school. It was only because of an awful illness. A small cold or extra tail wouldn't probably stop that child from getting more knowledge. But seeing that her daughter could barely stand, she quickly changed her mind.
- Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just surprised that you would abandon class like that. But I guess getting excessive hair counts for a day off at least...
- Mom! - embarrassed girl already had enough of that tirade. She already had enough as it was.
- Alright, alright. Don't yell at me - she walked to the phone and started dialing the number. Because of Bart's sake, she memorized it since his first year in school. Before someone answered, she muttered under nose - kids these days. A little hair down there and already causing panic.
Sighing heavily, Lisa collapsed on the couch before switching the channels mindlessly. Even Itchy and Scratchy's re-runs couldn't lighten up the mood. She idly listened to parts of the phone conversation.
- Oh, nothing dangerous, she's just a horse. Yes, I will tell her. Thank you so much. - then she looked at currently sulking daughter - they hope your throat gets better. They're so nice to you.
Puzzled, Lisa had to think for a bit, before placing a palm on her face, groaning.

*****

When the man of the house reacted to another threat as usual, meaning going to Moe's Bar, Lisa tried her best to re-learn how to walk. Easier said than done. She already caused a few casualties in a broken vase, upset dog, and knocked off the coffee table. With no mother in sight, she had to do it all by herself, since Bart this time didn't want to skip class.
- It's okay, Lisa. You can do it. You did it several years ago, so why not now? Ha-ha - she chuckled nervously, balancing on her new legs, while supporting herself on the arm of the couch, trying to stand up straight.
Still having a strong will to accomplish this incredibly laborious task, Lisa had absolutely no plans to give up just now. Especially when her room was located upstairs, behind this wooden mountain of doom, where each step would feel like a gatekeeper between her and deserved rest. Stopping her thinking up ahead, she continued her re-training. Eventually, she let go of her grip and straightened up, not falling on the floor this time.
- Ha! In your face! - she yelled, but her triumph was clearly precocious, when her center of gravity shifted with her sudden moves, causing her upper half to jerk forward, while legs just couldn't keep up. Running forward with no control over this, she ended up on the wall next to the coffee table. While collapsing on the carpet, a heavy phone book landed next to her as well. Seeing this, it gave her an idea. Groaning to herself, she gathered all remaining strength to somehow stand up and lean against the table, before picking up the book to search up a certain number.
- It must be here somewhere. Even the gypsies use the phone, right? Hm... - not sure where to look. She skimmed through various groups - magicians? No. Mediums? No. Crooks and con-artists? Maybe...
But before she read further, she finally found a section with fortune tellers. Seeing there was only one with a matching address. Still standing on increasingly shaky legs, she called the newly found number. Patting her fingers on the table impatiently, she hoped this conversation would be enough.
- Yes?
- For a fortune teller you're not very predicting. I thought you would know who and why calls - she somehow just couldn't stop with sarcastic remarks, even in this dire need.
- You would need a psychic for that. But he couldn't see the future in it - her voice was calm, but Lisa could find some hint of superiority there - but I know who you are, Lisa Simpson.
Girl gasped, clutching handset firmly against her ear. Not being superstitious and only believing facts, it was uneasy for her to be confronted by them. Although anything could be explained, even this.
- Your father's shenanigans brought wrath to my realm. Do you have any idea how hard it is to replace a monkey paw?
- Use a leg instead? - she immediately regretted her words, not wanting to put an already paw-less animal in danger
- Insolent child. If this is all, I'll hang up now. I would wish you good luck, but my good luck talismans were destroyed as well.
- No no. Please, wait. I'm very sorry about what happened, miss. Just... being this satyr thing makes me incredibly nervous. Could you accept this apology? We'll never set our feet or any limbs in your office again, I swear!
Sudden silence on the other side made Lisa think the gypsy was contemplating her weak offer. But it was the only thing she currently had.
- Despite your snarkiness, you were not responsible for this mess. Only man able to reverse the curse is that pathetic excuse of a man, Homer Simpson - she spouts that name with great disgust - as for you, the curse only started and I can't stop the jinx that is already getting stronger. When the clock strikes midnight, dark powers will reach their peak. Mark my words, you might end up on the race track soon, or at the very least the CENTAUR of attention.
The old woman laughed maniacally at her own joke, before coughing uncomfortably, trying to catch breath. Before Lisa could get her attention back, she heard an audible click.
Sulking completely, Lisa placed her forehead against the wall, letting out another groan out of her mouth, defeated. But she knew that the old woman was right; to fix the errors, no one should rely on other apologies. But knowing her extremely stubborn father, it would be easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than admit to his own mistakes. While whimpering, Marge came back to the living room, while snipping off copious amounts of beard, which kept growing back. Looking at her mom's arms, Lisa saw a thick patch of blue hair growing out of them as well.
- Is everything alright, sweetie? Was it something you ate? Or maybe you didn't eat enough?
Lisa shook her head and tried to stand firmly on new hind legs while holding onto the coffee table, barely avoiding another fall.
- Yeah, sure. I'll just be in my room, waiting for this curse to be over. Dad will apologize to her eventually. I hope... - she said, but they both knew it was horse crap. While being watched in awkward silence, Lisa somehow approached the stairs, climbing one step while holding firmly on handrails. While the bearded woman tried to help her daughter, she could only give her moral support. But remembering Maggie, she had to attend to the youngest daughter as well.
Gasping and mumbling swear words, Lisa did her best to not trip and break her neck. But maybe it would be better than trying the almost impossible? Every step was an achievement, even if at the expense of her stamina. But while her upper half wore down, her legs still felt strong, like she didn't use them at all. But Lisa was focused mainly on upcoming rest, the perks of her own body.
She guided herself through the corridor, while leaning against side walls, being so very close to her bedroom. Once inside, she just let her part-equine form collapse on the floor, next to bed. Taking some pillows from it, she made out a tiny bird's nest to sulk upon. Only her and trustful saxophone. It never betrayed her, unless some member of this unusual family. She closed her eyes and began playing, letting her thoughts and feelings change into various notes, stringing together into a melancholic ballad. Each keynote carried her unspoken words, which she truly wanted to cry out into the distance. But this music did the same job, while being much easier for the ear. And for her nerves as well, already calm and content. Maybe it all will turn out fine, eventually?

*****

Lisa couldn't sleep. While Homer didn't apologize to that furious gypsy, he had better plan how to un-curse himself. But she couldn't believe why he had to complicate such a straightforward task with tomfoolery? Instead of going back to the ruined office, he went to the local forest with still jinxed Bart, trying to catch a leprechaun. Lisa didn't understand how that would help. Those creatures were probably more powerful, just like in cereal commercials? Did they even exist in the first place? But those thoughts had to wait, since she had more important things to look at, while lying awkwardly in bed.
The alarm clock.
Digital numbers kept changing, from one to another. Twenty-three and fifty-seven. Was that woman just trying to scare her off? Or was it a correct prophecy?
Fifty-eight.
Being a full grown centaur would only harden her already difficult daily life. Will she end up in a circus or hidden lab?
Fifty-nine.
What about her diet? Do centaurs eat what horses should, or just partially? But she already didn't eat meat, so at least one problem was out of the head.
Twenty-four.
Staring at brightly red numbers, I noticed nothing strange yet. Until her nightgown tightened around her whole body. Feeling like her figure swelled, she fell from the bed, unable to think, having to get rid of this soft prison. But quickly enough, the extremely uncomfortable feeling went away, just with her nightgown. But the relief was only temporary.
Seeing the new pair of legs in front of her face, she instinctively straightened up in fear. Her line of sight seemed to be higher than usual, like getting a few extra inches in mere seconds. But it was only a slightest part of this sudden transformation.
Her forelegs were easier to operate, not being strangely bent like the other pair. Just straight poles with normal knees, ended up with perfectly trimmed grey hooves. At least she had a free pedicure.

Taking deep breaths, Lisa turned on the lamp and trotted in front of the mirror, wanting to see the damages with her own eyes. Surprisingly, she found it much easier to stand up and walk in her centaur form than in her horse-satyr form. But Lisa was more concerned about her own reflection. Her chest was completely covered with thick hair, like taken straight out of a paintbrush. Which made sense, considering how those were made, anyway. It had the same color just like her coronets, which were a bright chestnut. Turning around, she could notice her new flank and thigh, while now better visible tail protruded out of her rump and stronger built tailbone. The hair stopped growing just below her armpits, leaving arms alone. She ruffled finger through hair on the barrel of the body, while staring at every inch. Every nook and cranny of an animal structure that she had to learn about. While her knowledge about equine anatomy wasn't limited to knowing the difference between pony and horse, it still was nothing, compared to actually feeling each part.
Suddenly, one of her back legs jolted behind, almost knocking down the lamp, luckily missing it entirely. Now she had to remember to not have anyone from family in its range. Unless it would be Bart.
- Easy, girl, easy... - she patted her own rump, not really knowing what she was doing. It was her own legs, not of a different horse. But maybe she had to learn to cooperate between both halves?
Once calmed down a bit, she returned to inspecting her own reflection. While swishing tail, she admired well chiseled features, each developed muscle, like created by a master sculptor. She was now a full and complete centaur now. Lisa hated to say this, but... she loved it?
She eventually felt all that weight of various thoughts and feelings, crushing that feeble, human part of her mythical body. Before deciding to go back to sleep, Lisa realized she was technically naked. That alone made her shudder, being so risque in her own bedroom. Thumping her hooves against the floor, she approached her closet, looking for anything that would fit. But even a small shirt that normally could barely reach her waistline, was too stubborn to cover her bare skin. Noticing that equine hair covered most of her upper body, stopped looking and finally get some shut-eye. Maybe entering a dream world would ease her confusion and sadness. But was she sad?
While back on the bed, which already bent up slightly under her weight, she felt uneasy under the blankets. After all, horses rarely needed any covers, unless it was extremely cold in the stable. Hopefully she will not end up in one soon. Sighing loudly, she covered herself with thinnest blanket while staring at the ceiling.


*****


Lisa didn't realize how quickly the night turned into morning after a nervous sleep. Not remembering any dreams or even feeling rested, she patted herself with hands. Yup, still a horse.
She suddenly heard a very familiar tune, part of the "Sax On The Beach" song, from an album of the same name. Bleeding Gums Murphy was always her hero in jazz. But it showed a new e-mail on her computer. As always, it was online most of the time, forgetting to log off last night. Too busy with being a centaur.
After getting up, she checked the contents of the message, greeted by the fake-smiled face of the Gypsy, grinning right next to her banner. After all of this, she had the audacity to send her spam? Thinking about deleting it right away, she felt a hunch to check it, anyway. It was a brief message, but holding answers to her burning question she didn't think of yet. Apparently, the transformation was complete and she will not end up as a horse. At very least, she had that to ease her pain.
Hearing a ruckus in the kitchen downstairs, she left her bedroom to meet with her nemesis from yesterday. Stairs.
- I see you're up to no good again. Just let me get through and I'll promise to wax you next month... she said to the inanimate object, before stepping one of her hooves down.
With extreme difficulty, Lisa somehow guided herself through every step, remembering to move her hind legs when front legs stood firmly on the wood, without tripping over and ending badly. She knew what happens to horses when they break a leg, being grown up enough to stop believing about "going to happy farm" stories.
Once finally on the ground floor, she entered the kitchen, seeing Maggie on the table, sucking on a milk bottle. But instead of a typical figure, an oversized insect body seemed to be attached to the usually cute head of a little sister. At least it was part of a ladybug, the nicest of pests. Too tired of panicking, Lisa only wanted some grub, before seeing a giant pile of hair in the shape of her own mother.
- Mom?
The creature turned back, while finishing cooking the breakfast. From head to toes, Marge was literally covered with blue hair. Not a single inch of her body was free of this mess, with the exception of her eyes. Once again, Lisa stopped worrying anymore. It just had to end this right now.
- Good morning, sweetie. Do you want some corn cereal? I'm afraid we're out of hay. I don't think I even put it on the grocery list... - she looked inside the cupboards, knowing she wouldn't find any food suitable for equines.
- Thanks, I'll just take anything at this moment. I'm so hungry I could eat a... nevermind.
While getting a bowl of her well-deserved breakfast after all of this madness, kitchen doors opened wide with a loud crack, while the man of the house and his son entered triumphally, holding the trophy in his hand. A wiggling, angry leprechaun.
- We've got him! Now the curse will be over. - proud Homer placed the mischievous dwarf on the table, before looking at her wife - morning, Marge. New haircut? Looks good on you.
- Don't you dare compliment me as a first thing in the morning and fix this nightmare. Do you have any idea how much shampoo bottles cost?
Homer scratched his lone strings of hair on his bald head, trying to find an answer, before Bart poked his side. Boy's head was still upside down, attached to a hose-like neck.
- Nevermind that, Kojak. What was your plan with that little goblin? I thought catching him would be enough.
Homer rubbed his chin, approaching the leprechaun who already tried starting the havoc, trying to grab the bowl currently used by Lisa, before she stopped him.
- You heard that? Just start river dancing or whatever your kind is doing and turn my family back to normal!
Those words only made the short magical creature even more angry, who stomped its tiny feet, right before jumping on nearby cupboards and throwing on the ground everything in sight.
- It didn't work, Homer. Why don't you just apologize to that old lady for destroying her office?
- Or you could just sic that gnome on her, - Lisa added, completely fed with their antics. The feisty leprechaun was just a cherry on top of this rotten sundae.
- That's actually the great idea, Lisa. Especially since it came straight from the horse's mouth. Come here, you little demon.
- Right here, dad... - Bard said, used to bad-mouthing his own father.
- Not you, you little demon. Just help me out, would you?
With their combined effort, the bearded, green clothed midget was once again grasped in the chubby hands of the salary man. With that, he left once again, leaving the family. But Lisa didn't feel any sign of relief. And eating food wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
- I reckon you want to stay home today too,Lisa? - she asked her daughter casually, like nothing happened just mere moments ago.
She didn't want to miss another day of school, but still it would be too difficult to learn anything, especially in that state. But also Lisa tried to avoid being cramped up in these four walls.
- Actually, I was thinking if I could stretch my legs, so to speak. But I don't want to be seen by anyone. Couldn't you give me a lift, mom?
- You might be too hefty for my car, Lisa. But if you really need to get out of the house, I might find something... suitable. Just try to break nothing. And if you need to... you know, "go", please don't do it on the kitchen floor.
With these words, she left the living room, with ladybug Maggie in her hands, not minding her current state. Lisa couldn't help but just sigh, staring through the window. She just wanted to go back to normal life. If the previous one could count on that.
While finishing the breakfast, she didn't even notice the disappearance of her no-good brother. He probably got the worst curse of all of them, but she could only care about one family member. Herself.
The long minutes passed lazily, while Lisa wondered what her mother was up to. Marge's new looks weren't the best of going out as well, but knew she could figure something out. She heard some noises coming out of the driveway, before a sudden scream. What could that be about? Eventually, the hairy blue creature returned, nodding at Lisa.
- You can come out now, sweetie. I ordered a trailer for you and the young man was so nice; he left without even collecting the payment. He probably knows how important this is for us.
Lisa fought with the urge to comment on such obvious behavior, but finally followed her mother outside. She noticed a familiar-looking trailer that she might have seen before. Coming closer, Lisa barely saw a circus banner, who someone tried to remove before selling it.
- Of course. Fitting for a freak like me... - she sighed, feeling a hairy hand on her shoulder.
- Don't say that. There's two of us, after all. Now, I reckon you prefer a forest, right? Too far away from the nearest beach, if you wanted to mimic the commercial with running horses at the sea.
Lisa once again didn't respond, opening the trailer by herself and climbing inside.
- Just take me somewhere where people will not stare and judge me, please.
- Granted, - Marge replied, closing the trailer, before mumbling to herself - that crosses out any public place, to be frank...

*****

The trip was probably the worst experience she had in her entire life, topping every joke and bullying by her own brother. She felt each hole in the bumpy road, occasionally hitting her head on the trailer walls. If actual horses felt that while travelling, she had another reason to fight for their right and freedom. Maybe they could even let her join their herd?
- No, Lisa. Stop thinking about that. You're a human girl, not a horse. Everything will be alright and you'll be back in school in no time - she pep talked to herself, feeling quite nonchalant about it and full of confidence. Right before a sharp turn that made her fly, hitting the doors.
It took some time preliminary to Marge releasing the centaur out of temporary imprisonment. When leaving the cramped up space, she realized where they were. It was probably the same forest, Homer and Bart just were this very night.
- Take as long as you need, sweetheart. I'll just stay here and try to not lose Maggie out of sight.
Lisa thanked her mother for all the trouble, knowing that having both daughters a part of an animal kingdom was a laborious task. But she truly had to do this, since her instincts begged for freedom. Did all horses feel that?
While entering the woods, she took a deep breath of this fresh air. All the scents were stronger than she remembered when being here last time. Her legs moved almost by themselves, like changing into sentient beings, and Lisa was only a driver. A spectator. But no, she felt everything.
The forest litter crunched beneath her strong hooves. The dead leaves felt better than any carpet. Feeling wind in her pelt made Lisa trot faster, using all four incredibly muscular legs. She experienced nothing like that in her entire existence ever before. And just like yesterday, the equine part felt less fatigue, even if she ran swiftly between the trees.
She gained an impressive speed, compared to any result she got on school tracks, jumping above fallen stumps with ease. The strong wind only helped her out, achieving even greater distances.
Eventually she stopped at the clearing, noticing she didn't have to catch her breath much, probably because of gigantic lungs the horses had. But she felt like belonging right here.
Even as animal rights activists, most of the animals ran away because of their natural instincts. But sensing the presence of other critters, she didn't cause any fear. The nearby squirrels and deers were curious, oblivious, or just ignorant. No creature tried to escape from her!
Thinking of it as a fantastic side effect, Lisa didn't want to return home just yet. It was a completely new discovery. Was it her destiny? She had to recollect her thoughts. It wasn't the same as finding out her love of jazz and playing on saxophone. This would change her life much more drastically than learning new talent.
The other thing she found out about her new self, is that the lack of clothing which, previously concerning, now made it liberating. Another cage she escaped from, even if she didn't even think about it before.
Her heart demanded more, while her body was too idle for far too long. Getting back to deep woods, she tried to test her stamina, agility and strength of her own muscles. Seeing a perfect space where trees weren't too much cluttered together and fallen ones made a perfect obstacle course, she tried her best.
Sound of mushing leaves with her hooves was so satisfying, while strong wind once again brushed against her chestnut-brown hair, making her tail wave behind her. Each of her jumps was stronger than the previous one, leaving those obstacles behind with ease. Getting more confident, she didn't avoid thicker and taller natural barriers while adrenaline rushed through her veins.
Stopping for a second time this morning, she felt as satisfied as ever. Maybe only compared to playing perfect notes on her favorite instrument. But this... maybe she can get used to it?
The thrill eventually went away and even if she still was content in this beautiful environment, what future holds for her? At this thought alone, she reminded herself of that old Gypsy. Why did they have to suffer only because of one man? But... Did she really suffer?
And out of sudden, a noise. She looked over, wondering if her equine legs stepped on the branch or anything similar, but apparently she wasn't alone. And she didn't notice deer or any strong enough creature that would make such a sound.
She wasn't alone.
Not knowing if it was just human or horse instincts, she felt a sudden and massive surge of panic. She had to leave right now. What if someone will finally discover her? Did she really want to abandon previous life for this? So many questions left unanswered. But maybe she will get them soon enough.