Chapter III

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.“

• Oscar Wilde

    Theo cringed a little, and brought his legs together a little tighter.  He knew he would have to use the bathroom soon, but he did not want to take his attention off of the two in front of him.  True, he was starting to believe that they were not normal criminals, or even cult recruiters.  But he still wasn’t sure that their intentions were ones he agreed with.

    “So let me get this straight, you guys work for an. . . ‘organization,’ or whatever.  And to get funding for your thing you invented the Care Bear brand in this world, as you say.  And that show is based off of the actual work that you do?”

    Grumpy grinned at Tenderheart, who met his gaze with a bemused smile.  “See, I told you this one was bright!  If a little stubborn,” he told him, chuckling a little as Tenderheart rolled his eyes in acknowledgement. 

    Returning his attention to Theo, Grumpy nodded sincerely, “Yes. The show is an…  anthropomorphization. . . if you will, of what we actually do. We come from a. . . well it’s technically called a tesseract but that’s a whole different thing that we can get into another time.”

    Tenderheart jumped in,”Yes, please another time. My friend Grumpy here is an expert at most all things science. I’m more of the magic user here, which allows me to find those who need our help, maintain our connection to our tesseract, and a few other tricks that come in handy from time to time. I digress, however. We aren’t here to talk logistics of what we are and where we come from, we’re here to talk about you, my dear Theo.”

    The hair on Theo’s neck tingled. The man had a strange affect on him, although he should still be incredibly stressed in the situation he was in, he felt oddly calm when the man spoke to him. It was as if his intention truly was just to help and care for him; to allow him to feel accepted.

    “I’d. . . I’d really rather not talk about this. It’s something private which I wish to keep to myself, which is why I’ve never shared this with anyone.” His eyes didn’t meet theirs as he spoke, he looked down at his hands which he still twisted uncomfortably in his lap, feeling slightly ashamed for his embarrassment.

    Tenderheart spoke up,“Haven’t shared what? That you like to wear diapers like a baby?  That you would enjoy being taken care of and loved like a little kid? That you want to hug your blankie when you feel stressed or scared? Theo, none of those things are anything to be ashamed of. Sure not everyone will understand, but with enough time the people you love will understand and still love you for it. And that includes yourself if you give yourself a chance!”

    Theo’s stomach twisted, he couldn’t help but feel giddy as he heard Tenderheart speak words he himself could not bring himself to utter. It made him feel wonderfully little, as Tenderheart gave him his attention and spoke about things like blankies and diapers. This accompanied both a feeling of pleasure and shame, which ended up only making him feel a little bit more guilty about the whole situation.

    “But. . . I’m expected to be a grown up and man for crying out loud. I shouldn’t enjoy wearing d-dia. . .” he stopped, unable to utter the word aloud.

    “Diapers.” Grumpy said gently, finishing the word for him and smiling at him, his eyes filled with understanding.  “It’s not wrong for somebody to want to be felt taken care of and loved by others Theo, that’s where this comes from. Some people find these feelings in a heterosexual relationship, some people find it from people who are the same sex as them, and still others may find it through dedicating themselves to a cause. You just happen to enjoy being treated like a little, helpless padded tyke! That’s all there is to it!”

    Theo recognized the logic behind his words, yet couldn’t help but still feel the same guilt and shame that possessed him whenever even just his thoughts indulged in those fantasies.  

    Tenderheart spoke, “And that’s partially why we’re here too, we want to help you understand and feel accepted as this type of person. We even decided that to help you understand that we empathize with your feelings, we came diapered too!”

    Grumpy smiled cheekily at him, and unzipped the front of his jeans, revealing an unmistakable bulge and familiar crinkle as Theo saw with surprise that the man in front of him was wearing the exact kind of diaper that he himself was.  Tenderheart had done the same, revealing his own choice of undergarments as well.  

    Theo couldn’t believe what he was seeing, he marveled at their confidence and composure. The two individuals in front of him were completely comfortable showing him that they were padded up in the same infantile underwear he was wearing, and they didn’t even show a hint of embarrassment!

    Theo gaped, almost as surprised as when he had seen the odd instruments lodged in their sternums. Having been more focused on the fact that his house had intruders in it, he had not noticed the now quite obvious diaper bulge outlining the waist area of their jeans, giving their backsides a thick, rounded appearance. 

    Grumpy chuckled, a sound which felt like warm summer rain, dripping down your back and arms and reminding you that the world still had style in it. “I get why you enjoy this, I don’t think I’m more comfortable sitting anywhere than when I am diapered!”

    Tenderheart nodded in agreement,”There’s a lot of merit to your lifestyle, Theo. I don’t think I’ve felt more relaxed than when I’m wearing these. They provide a great sense of security!”

    Theo could only smile nervously and a little incredulously back, still abashed at their complete lack of discomfort. A pressure began to build on his bladder but he ignored it, slowly becoming fascinated with the confidence these two men were displaying that he himself wished he possessed, one he wished he could gain from acceptance.

    Tentatively, he spoke up, for the first time in a non-combative tone, ”Okay, so you guys go around helping people and making them feel better about themselves and others, kind of like in the show. But how am I supposed to become accepting of myself if you just talk to me? Like, are you going to use magic to change the way my brain works?”

    A laugh erupted from Tenderheart, surprising both Theo and Grumpy; they looked at him slightly bewildered. Tenderheart grasped the table with one hand and wiped a tear with the other, his laughter shaking his shoulders as he bellowed in amusement. 

    After a minute he managed to compose himself, but was still grinning when he said, “No silly! Magic can’t just change your brain! First of all, only science has any significant effects on your head and even then the results are usually mixed. No, I can’t just wave my hand and change the way you behave or think, at least not concretely.”

    Grumpy nodded, and looked back at Theo, affirming what Tenderheart was saying. His own amused expression creeping back into his face.

    Tenderheart continued,”No, that’s not how we work. We’re taking you to Care-A-Lot.” Theo shifted, his body telling him that a bathroom break was probably in order quite soon.

    Grumpy frowned, his mouth still fixed in a slight smirk. “Need to use the potty, kiddo?” he asked, a joking but not unkind tone in his voice.

    Theo reddened, and a slight pain surged up in his abdomen. “Uhh. . . I believe so. . . yes. . .” he replied sheepishly, embarrassed yet impressed at Grumpy’s sense of perception.

    “Well what are you waiting for, babies can use their diapers after all it’s what they’re supposed to do!” chirped Grumpy, as Theo’s face turned from a slight red to what could have been interpreted as an impressive attempt to become a tomato. 

    A part of him loved being talked to like he was just a small child. He really did enjoy the attention and almost forced nature of his treatment, as just a helpless little baby. Still, he could not help feel the shame that came along as he realized that he was displaying obvious signs of needing to go to the bathroom while wearing a bathroom designed for people much, much younger than he. 

    Theo was about to protest that it was quite alright, he was perfectly capable of getting up and using the bathroom himself when something unexpected happened. 

    He leaned forward reflexively, the pain in his lower stomach reaching an unexpectedly painful peak, and his control vanished. 

    To his horror, his bottom let loose and he began to uncontrollably mess his into his diapers, wetting them in addition as the laxatives he had taken a short while previously kicked in.  Utter humiliation and shame filled him, as the mess he sat on spread out into the front and back of his diaper, his heavy wetting significantly increasing the bulge at the front of his onesie, making it obvious to the world that he was, in fact, in a very used diaper. 

    To his surprise, neither Tenderheart nor Grumpy reacted. They said nothing, did nothing; Theo couldn’t bring himself to look up at them, fearing for what he might see. Disgust? Fear?  Hatred? Oh God, he couldn’t take such a judgement. Finding that this was all too much for him to handle, Theo broke down into tears. Bringing his legs onto the couch he buried his face into his arms and sobbed. 

    Warm arms enveloped him from the front and behind, and he tensed briefly before allowing the two to embrace him. They spoke soft, kind words, and Theo let himself be cooed at while his emotions spilled out of him in the form of tears and sniffles.