“So, I consider a lot of modern literature to be incredible lazy when it comes to a plot, but I think it’s a smart way to reach younger audiences that are still developing their own taste. It’s easy to read and it’s not that complicated, good enough to raise their interest in reading. And I believe that’s what matters, don’t you think?”

The fox raised the eyes from his cellphone and pretended to smile with interest, but he got betrayed by his downed ears. He leaned forward, arms crossed over the table to hide the device.

“Yeah, it’s great the kids are reading more,” he said, now playing with the spoon of his chai tea.

But the lynx in front of him didn’t fell for that. He replied with another smile, already used to the gestures that hide the boredom and pity his dates used to felt after twenty minutes of him trying to be someone interesting and not just another handsome face.

“Yes, it is,” he made a pause to take a sip at his black coffee. Cold. It was the sign he had talked for too long, again. “Ah... I tried to read one some weeks ago. Someone recommended it and, well, it’s not that bad. The Hunger Games. Have you read it?”

“Oh! I watched the movies with my sister. I wasn’t really into the love triangle, but the games were great!”

The interest in his face was genuine, and for a moment the lynx got his confidence back up, now that he knew he had something—for small that it could be—in common with his date.

“I think the social context is great and...” but the smile in the fox’s face faded almost instantly, and so did his confidence, “and so are the games. The ones from the second movie were the best ones.”

“I know. The island and the time zones; wanted to see more instead of that boring love stuff.”

The lynx nodded and kept on listening to his date, but none of his attempts to take him out of the Starbucks worked, and ten minutes later, the brown fox faked an urgent message and left the table.

The lynx stayed there, in the corner of a coffee store bustling with life, hidden against a wall to escape from the orange embrace of the setting sun. He stood over the bunch of young adults that occupied the other tables, with a gray suit that when well with his fur and hid the build of his body—he was looking forward for the motivation to hit the gym and get rid of that round belly that didn’t went well with the rest of his thin body. He took a moment to clean his glasses with his white handkerchief, not because they were dirty, but to look down so people wouldn’t notice his face. But, just like the fox, his pointy ears sticked to his head betrayed him.

Rounding the six feet of height, he stood from the awkwardly small stool, looking at the chai tea he bought for the fox. He listened a bunch of herbs he had never heard before, but the names didn’t raised his interest to taste it. He stuck to his black coffee, simple yet tasty—but not anymore for how cold it was. He wanted to think about himself that way—a thirty-nine years old lynx that had so much to give regardless of his simple appearance. Whether if he was bad doing analogies of his dates couldn’t notice it, he did not know.

He was about to left when the barista came to put a second cup of black coffee over the table.

“It’s on the house,” he said with a welcoming smile that did made him feel welcome in the store.

“Wouldn’t that got you in troubles?” the lynx asked seriously concerned.

The tiger, who looked too young and too happy to be on a place like that, took the fox’s seat and played with the spoon of the chai tea in the same manner than the one before him..

“Yeah, I want the manager to fire me. I’m not giving her my resign just like that.”

He looked at the feline’s name tag, but the barista quickly covered it with his hand.

“You tell yours, I show mine,” he said, his tongue poking out of one side of his mouth.

Too straightforward. But at that point, the older feline was too weakened to hold his pride. He wanted some company at that moment.

“Bernard,” the lynx said, looking carefully at the charismatic tiger.

Black over orange, although the black strips appeared less compared to most tigers. He looked strong, with broad shoulders and the green uniform firmly sticked to the muscles of his chest and arms—and yet, something in his face convinced Bernard that he spent more time at the library and less at the field or in parties. When the big feline moved his hand, Bernard perceived part of his scent, a captivating smell of coffee mixed with the day’s effort at his job. It had written Nicholas in the tag.

“It suits you,” Bernard said.

“You think so? Mom said I have the face of a Richard, don’t know why. You mind me sitting here? I’m on my break now.”

“Sure, be my guest.”

“Great! But c’mon, don’t leave me alone. Sit!” he exclaimed while pointing at the unoccupied stool.

“Oh, sorry,” Bernard sat back. He looked at the steamy cup and then at the tiger’s green eyes. The feline was eating a huge chocolate cookie. “So, any reason to want to get fired?”

“It’s a Starbucks, why else? Grew tired of dealing with a bunch of teenager asking for gluten-free shit and organic stuff. It’s good stuff to joke about it, but dealing with it in a daily basis and you wanna give them dirt instead of coffee,” Nicholas pointed out, not truly caring about the crumbs that spurted out of his mouth as he spoke.

“Yeah, I didn’t understood half of the things my friend asked for his tea.”

“It was your friend? Gave me the vibe of a date, actually,” he broke his cookie in half, drooping some crumbs on the chai tea.

Bernard shrugged and looked away, already feeling his cheeks burning in embarrassment.

“Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know. Probably because you had come several times, always with someone different. There’s also,” he made a pause to take his cellphone out of his pocket. A moment after, Nicholas showed him the same app date Bernard had used, “that you are so close to me right now.”

The lynx felt completely ashamed, and quickly hid his face behind his hands. Being caught and exposed like that didn’t helped to deal with the rejection he just got.

“Hey, don’t worry. I don’t say it to make you feel bad,” Nicholas apologized, but his tone kept that charming tone that diminished its effect.

“You must think I’m pathetic,” the words came muffled through his cover.

“Well, yeah, like everyone who uses these things. But I like to see a cute face like yours standing out between a bunch of cocks and asses.”

“C-cute...?” the bait got him out of his shame, and he opened his fingers to see at the tiger smiling at him.

“Yeah. I’ve been seeing you a lot around here, so I think it’s fine to say it. Don’t be that surprised! I know those guys you brought said the same.

“Well, they did...”

“So why I haven’t see you leaving with them? Don’t you like them?” he leaned his head to the right, his rounded ears flopping by the gravity.

“No, nothing of that. They... well, they were in a hurry,” he scratched his neck, trying not to look that affected now that the tiger remembered the unfortunate endings of all his previous dates.

“Oh, I get it. Well, you probably should stop going for guys that young. Even at my twenty-three I was really stupid and...”

“He was thirty-four,” Bernard interrupted him, and chuckled by the disbelief in the tiger’s face.

“You want me to believe that that thing was older and better-looking than me? I should start going to the gym now,” he pondered, hand in the chin and look at the wall.

“Me too. And yes, at least physically he’s older. Mentally, I think he’s a teenager.”

“A lot of people are trapped in that age, don’t worry about it.”

Nicholas seemed pleased with the lynx’s chuckle. He shared the other half of his cookie with him, the one with the most chocolate chips.

“So, you came because you were feeling sorry for me?” Bernard asked, taking a bite of his cookie.

“In part, yes. It sucks to look a cute guy being rejected.”

The lyxn gave him a coy smile. He didn’t want to get his hopes up that fast, especially with most of his conversations starting in a similar manner, then getting worse as he spoke.

“I guess I’m too boring for them.”

“You talk a lot, yes. But that’s nothing bad. You’re just looking in the wrong place.”

“I just want to go slow, date like people uses to do, what’s so bad about it?”

“Nothing. But these guys—me included—are just looking to get laid the fastest way possible. Some might say they’re looking for love, but no, they want to get laid. That’s why you keep seeing profiles like yours, without nude pictures and none other evidence of them looking for sex. They’re mysterious, but at the end they won’t doubt in taking you to his place or a motel.”

Bernard sat through his explanation, nibbling the edge of his cookie like a mice.

“That’s why they talked to me?”

“Without a doubt,”

Bernard sighed, holding his cup with his right hand, the smell getting into his nose but being ignored for the mixed feelings that got his attention.

“You are truly handsome for your age, and for some guys it would be glorious to do it with someone like you,” Nicholas added.

He took a sip of coffee. Hot and strong, but it was hard to focus on the taste. Even the rattle at the store became something that Bernard easily ignored.

“Well, they won’t have luck if that’s what they want.”

“And it sucks, but I understand why they act like that. Between school and work I don’t have time for me. I surf through the app or go to a bar at friday’s night when I want some fun. If I’m lucky, he’s gonna talk again, but it doesn’t mean he wants something more. It just means it was a good sex and he wants to repeat it. A compromise ask for a lot of time some might not have. Others are just afraid of it. A cute face isn’t always enough to want that risk.”

“And so they go for the easy way.”

“You can’t blame them. There’s nothing bad in having fun,” he truly looked apologetic, with his head leaned like that. “I’m sorry it affect you, but that’s how it is.”

“I guess I need another approach,” he admitted after a short pause.

“Hey, those guys took their chance and failed. But I wanna know what’s needed to get into your pants,” he finished his sentence by making his cookie crunch between his fangs, a gesture that made the lynx shivers softly.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve seen you around here a lot, enough to get interested. I’m really into older-than-me guys, and you’re pretty handsome. Besides, I wanna know what they found so boring about you.”

That made Bernard giggle. The tiger had been pretty nice to him, and it made him feel bad about not noticing him before.

“I’ve been wanting to say it for weeks, just never found the right time to say it,” and then he rushed to say. “Then I thought I wanna get fired so, yeah, let’s get him a coffee.”

“I do like coffee, thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” he took a sip at the chai tea, but his face immediately showed how much he hated it. “Anyway, if you can made clear I gave you that for free, it would be perfect.”

“You hate this place so much?”

“Oh, there’s that, and that my stupid ex keeps bringing his new boyfriend out of spite. And it’s really annoying because it’s one of those idiots that can’t decide what he’s gonna order. Last time I had to cancel his order three times,” and he proceeded to talk with a high-pitched tone. “Oh, I want a frappé, but it’s so cold today, no, change if for a hot cocoa, but that’s just gonna get me hungry, you know what? Give me a cappuccino,” he went back to his original voice, leaning over the table. “Then he went on and on with the milk and I had to ignore the smug smile my ex had. Dear god! I wanted so badly to throw the coffee right at his stupid face.”

“So why didn’t you do it?”

“I wanna get fired, not sued.”

“Fair enough.”

They both shared a cackle that made most of the clients turn around to see what happened. But the couple in the corner didn’t care. The tiger was so charismatic and friendly, and Bernard thought it would be worth the risk; at least that day he wouldn’t left the store feeling down. For some minutes, they went on and on, casually talking about the types of clients he had seen along his time working there. When he had to put Bernard in one category, he described him as the “confused adult that keeps asking to himself what does he need to understand what coffee had become”, something that Bernard supported by explaining he was scared to ask. And Nicholas promised to explain him one day.

“I better get back to work. Had more chances to suck at it while i’m behind the counter.than away from it,” he finally said.

A drizzle was falling outside. Bernard knew it was also time for him to go before that turned into a storm.

“So, I’ll see you here later.”

“What if you got fired?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I know where to find you,” he showed him his cellphone and winked. Bernard caught the message immediately and blushed.

By the time he took a sip at his coffee, he only wrinkled his lips. Cold. How quickly that boiling thing could turn into ice? The lynx left the place, waving his goodbye to the tiger who made the gesture of spitting at the frappé he was preparing.

A gust received him once he put a paw inside, ruffling his fur and forcing him to hug himself to keep some heat. He rushed back to his car, and once there, took out his cellphone and opened the date app installed by the casual recommendation of a friend. Nicholas profile was right besides his in the “Nearby” section. He wore one of the rainbow hat they gave at the past Pride Parade, with fake round glasses and an unlit cigar. He felt tempted to look at his pictures. After all, he found him quite attractive. But he retained his principles, and put him back into his right pocket.

That lasted until he arrived to the parking lot of his apartment complex. A notification marked “Nicholas’ private pics” as unlocked,a phrase too strong to resist. He gave a couple of nervous glances at his sides before opening the profile and going to the tiger’s pictures. One showed him standing in front of a fountain, waving at the camera, dressed in summer clothes; seeing him in a red tank top brought a smile to his face, so cute and handsome. He assumed the second one was took at class, a selfie with a group of young people behind him.

The third picture made his heart race. Nicholas was laying on a bed, his naked torso revealing the waving patterns of his strips, as each one led his eyes from the pecs to his abs, all muscular and well-toned, and so damn tempting. Below his belly, the tiger held the base of his fully erect manhood, completely out of his shaft. It was big and thick, and Bernard imagined it twitching with pre coming out of the tip. He felt his sheath swell under his pants, and quickly turned his cellphone off.

He got out of the car and adjusted his pants. It wasn’t time for that stuff. He wanted things to go different, slow. He wanted to be better.

He met with Nicholas the next week. They choose not to send messages to each other, so when the lynx found him at the other side of the counter, he couldn’t stop his cheeks to burn under the silver fur once he recalled the naked body of the tiger. And the feline read well his expression, holding a smirk while he took his order.

“You like them?” he asked after taking a seat in front of him, in the same table.

“That’s wasn’t fair at all!”

“Nothing you wouldn’t see eventually. I can send you more if you want,” he remarked with a coy smile.

“I think that’s enough, thanks.”

Bernard cleared his throat before giving his coffee the first sip. Nicholas held a small pack of sugar in front of him, one that the lyxn declined.

“What’s so bad about adding some flavor?”

“It ruins it for me. Coffee is meant to be drink without anything else. If I want fancy flavors I’ll drink tea.”

“Ok, found one reason of why your dates ran away,” Nicholas chuckled, and taking his partner by surprise, he opened the pack and threw the white dust on it.

Bernard’s hands hovered close to the cup, seeing his perfectly clean coffee now corrupted by the sugar on it. He knew that getting mad about something that trivial was ridiculous, and yet, Nicholas’ gesture bothered him a little, just enough for the tiger to find it funny thanks to the expression in his face.

“C’mon, some sugar on your life would be good.”

“I want it in my life, not in my coffee.”

“Are you telling me you’ve been drinking black coffee all your life?” he asked with complete disbelief, and once the lynx nodded, he added. “Bullshit.”

“It’s true.”

“Prove it. I’m sure there’s a good reason of why you like it so badly IF that’s true.”

Bernard sighed, his expression switching from happiness to nostalgic as he looked through the window.

“Ok,” he started moments later. “My grandfather lived with us when I was younger, and he woke up at 7:00 AM every morning. And mom always woke up and made him a cup of black coffee, because that’s what my grandmother did. So mom had his coffee ready every morning, and he drank it almost all, leaving some of it after he left to do something else. Now, it caught my attention that he always looked happy after that. So I believed it was the coffee. One day, I waited after everyone left the table, took my grandfather’s cup and gave it a sip. It tasted awful, and I didn’t understood why he was so happy. So I went and asked him ‘Hey grandpa, why you like this? It’s awful’, and he looked down at me and said ‘I know, you grandma made it for her, not for me, but your mother doesn’t know. And I know she wakes up every morning to make it that way so I can remember your grandma, and I don’t wanna break her heart’. So it gave it a new meaning, and I didn’t want him to go through that alone, so the next morning I asked mom for a cup of coffee. Black coffee.”

Nicholas listened carefully, his curiosity long disappeared, and now he looked with certain admiration at the lynx, holding his head with the hand.

“That’s actually really cute!” he admitted trying hard not to rub his eyes.

“You think so? Because I made that up.”

Nicholas looked genuinely hurt for a moment after the revelation that came with a cheeky smile from the lynx, but quickly recovered his composure and emptied another bag of sugar on his coffee.

“Ok, you’re funny and cruel, I’ll give you that,” he added, leaving a spoon for him. “Second reason of why your dates left.”

“I’m sorry, thought you would like that,” he said between laughs. Once he calmed down, resigned, he took the spoon and made a slow vortex on his cup. “There isn’t a sad backstory to most of my life. They gave me black coffee at the cafeteria one day, and I liked it. That’s it. I’m a normal guy who just likes to talk a lot, I guess.”

“Talking is good, when done right. What were you talking about with the last one?”

“Books. He says he was looking for something new to read and wanted to give him some recommendations.”

“So you’re a nerd,” Nicholas concluded without a second thought.

“No!” the protest came out a little louder than Bernard wanted, and the lynx felt his ears flatten against his skull and his tail wrapped in the stool.

“Touched a sensitive nerve, sorry.”

“Don’t worry. Haven’t been called that in years. I don’t know why reading turns you into one,” he looked quietly as the vortex in his cup slowly loss all his force, going back to it stillness.

“It depends a lot in what you read. I guess that fox wasn’t the science fiction type of reader.”

“No. Well, yeah, but more of the ‘Hunger Games’ type. I gave an opinion but it was too long.”

“You tend to talk a lot?”

“When it’s about something I like, yes,” Bernard shamesly admitted, raising the cup for the first sugary sip.

“You haven’t talk a lot about me.”

That made him stop in place, the steamy beverage fogging his glasses. The lynx chuckled and left the cup back in the table, not seeing the expression in Nicholas’ face after seeing him with his fogged glasses.

“That’s really dirty of you.”

“Am I to assume you don’t like me?”

“I’m not gonna fall for that.”

“That’s like saying you don’t like me.”

Bernard tried to reply, but a rattle coming from behind the counter caught their attention. It size covered most of the workstation from their point of view, but Nicholas appeared to recognize what was happening, and ashamed turned to face Bernard.

“I better get this. Jessica messed up the cappuccino machine,” behind him several whines were heard.

“Don’t worry, it’s job after all.”

“Thanks, Berny,” he was about to leave when he turned back to him. “Hey, wanna come after my turn ends next time? We could walk along the park.”

“Sure!”

“Great. 8:00 PM, ok?”

He rushed back to fix whatever was wrong there. Before leaving, he finally took a sip of coffee. Sweet. It left a tingling sensation in his tongue as he sipped through it, taking more than he expected.

He took a moment to adjust his suit outside the store, cursing not bringing his coat even when the dark beverage kept him warm on his way to his car. His phone vibrated in the left pocket, and the lynx answered after the brief moment he had to cross the street, ending in the side where the park Nicholas invited him was.

“Hi son, everything’s fine?”

“Yeah, just arrived home. My sister went to Harley’s place to do a homework. Her mother will bring her later.”

“She has the address, right?”

“Yeah, don’t worry dad. I’m gonna order a pizza for dinner, is that right?”

“Make it two, I’m kinda hungry.”

“Got it. Are you coming already?”

“Just left the building. Should be there right after the pizza. There’s money in the nightstand.”

“Got it. See you, dad.”

“Be careful, son!”

But the lynx at the other side of the line hung up before he finished. Bernard looked the screen, where the face of his son—a young lynx biting a candy apple—appeared for an instant before it faded back into the generic lockscreen he had used for some time. He knew the boy was angry, even when his teenager voice didn’t showed any proof of it. But in the middle of that park there was nothing he could do for him.

He took a last look at the Starbucks in the other side of the street, his heart warm for the emotion of having found someone who had interest on him. He couldn’t wait to see him again.

And he carried that feeling all the way back home. He knew it was too soon to get attached to the tiger, but something in his attitude and the way he treated him were pushing him to dream more about it. He was adorable and charming, and wasn’t rushing everything like his previous dates did. He was being nice, and going slow with him. Something tingled in his belly, and he felt glad to experience it once again.

The smell of pepperoni and melted cheese hit him right as he get into the apartment. A young lynx appeared from the first doorway to the right. Rounding the 13-years-old and four feet of height, he held a piece of pizza connected to his muzzle from a string of cheese. Except for the red eyes that he got from his mother, he was a perfect—and smaller—look-alike of his father, including the excited wag of his tail whenever he saw someone he loved that had given them both the nickname of “Catdog”.

The kid, who he had the luck to call Edward, slurped the string of cheese and gave his father a wide smile before running at him. Nicholas went to one knee and received the boy in his arms, giving him a strong squeeze.

“Hey, careful with my pizza!” his son said, reaching out to take another bite of it.

“Your pizza? What about my suit?”

“Send it to the laundry.”

Bernard dropped his son and messed out with the fur on his head.

He left his suitcase in the wardrobe at his left and went into the apartment. The kitchen was right there, a fully equipped one he barely used, all in black and white colors, and perfectly clean. A pizza box rested over the island, the steamy smell of three different types of meat pulled him closer to it.

“You ordered a ‘meat lovers’!” Bernard exclaimed with a smile of joy.

“I know it’s your favorite.”

“It’s kinda hard to not know considering how often we order pizza.”

“They already recognized my voice, so I guess we have a problem, dad.”

Bernard opened the box. The smell hit him right in the face, and he filled his lungs with it. He always loved the smell of a freshly open pizza box. It was one of those scents that stayed in a room for a long time. He took a slice—and thanked he didn’t went into a battle with the cheese—and went with his son to the living room from the doorway Edward came in.

“I’d told you several times to turn the lights on,” the father said, turning on the living room lights. “You’re gonna hurt your sight.”

“But I eat a lot of carrots! My teacher said those are good for the sight.”

“That’s a myth to make kids eat their carrots.”

“So you tricked me all my life?” his son asked faking surprise. Bernard took a bite of pizza and let the flavors melt him over the couch.

“And you’ll do the same to your childs,” he replied through the dough in his mouth, with a joyful expression.

Edward looked him with the childish disgust all kids show to the idea of being parents, resting his back against the armrest and his paws over his father’s lap. Bernard found the postmodernist furniture of the living room quite unappealing to him, but it came with the apartment and it was comfortable enough to ignore it. And with his children being his only guests, he didn’t mind them eating over them; time proved that the marks of ketchup and chocolate milk gave them more personality to the white fabric of the furniture.

The pepperoni pizza over the center table—the only one he changed because Edward and glass stuff weren’t friends—had missing three slices. Bernard always found amusing how much his son could eat and not gain any gram. It was the only trait of him that Bernard openly hated about him, being both food lovers but only one needing exercise.

“What are you watching?”

“Pan’s Labyrinth.”

Bernard nodded and watched the movie with him. Ofelia was on his way to do the second task the Pan gave her. But as they watched and ate pizza, the older lynx felt his son more quiet than the usual. He noticed in his expression something bothered him, as not even the Pale Man’s chase—one of his favorite scenes of the movie—changed his expression.

“Is something wrong, son?”

Edward turned to him and then back to the T.V, but he wasn’t watching the movie anymore. The child twitched his lips, the tip of his tail wagged between the small opening of his legs.

“It’s nothing bad, dad. Just...”

Bernard knew he was having a hard time choosing his words, but he didn’t want to force him to speak.

“It’s Gerald. He keeps pushing me to play along with his son. Mom thinks the same, says that now that we will be brothers we should behave like that.”

“Well, she’s right about it, son. Even if he’s your step brother, you would do fine in treating him as your family.”

“I know but I don’t like him. He’s a prick-”

“Language!” Bernard interrupted, and quickly realized it wasn’t the time for those morals.

“Sorry, but he is. He’s always messing with me. At the beginning it was like how my sister treats me, but then it stopped looking like a game.”

There was a mix of bother and sadness in his face, an expression that hurted Bernard as he considered himself the direct responsible of it. He brushed the boy’s legs over his jeans and let out a long sigh.

“Have you talked with your mother about it?”

“Kinda. But she says he’s getting used to have a brother, too.”

“What kind of things he have done to you?”

Edward hummed for a moment. Bernard muted the discussion between Ferreiro and Vidal about the death of one rebel.

“Well... he’s always taking my stuff and calling me names, or pushing me aside when he pass by,” he shook his head and immediately changed his tone. “Maybe I’m overreacting.”

“Of course you’re not. It’s ok for you to say than that doesn’t make you feel comfortable. I’ll talk with your mother tomorrow.”

“No, no, please!” the boy’s rushed, putting down his paws to sit right in front of Bernard. “I don’t want him to get in troubles!”

“Did he threatened you?”

“No, I just don’t want mom or Gerald to scold him. Mom might be right and he’s just playing or getting used to have me around,” Edward shrugged and his voice turned almost into a whisper. “I just don’t want to get that close to him yet.”

Bernard was about to said something else when the entrance door opened.

“Dad, I’m home! Oh, pizza!” announced a female voice.

Bernard looked at his daughter Clarisse passing through the doorway. The fur on her head and outline of her ears dyed in purple, with two piercings in the outside of the left one. The slender figure of her body was covered by the leather jacket. Despite keeping her body in good shape, Bernard had engraved in his mind the memory of her as a fragile girl he wanted to protect for all his life—except during her rugby matches, where he gladly fomented number 19 to bathe in the blood of her enemies.

“Welcome home, princess,” Bernard greeted her as the 16-years-old lynx fell over the loveseat.

“Hey dad, fatty,” but the lack of the usual response from part of her brother made her notice something was wrong. “Did I miss something?”

“Nothing, dear, just talking with your brother about school.”

“He’s still having troubles with math? I’ll help you, cub,” she took a big bite of her slice, playing with the piece of pepperoni that threatened to fall over her.

“Thanks, sis.”

Judging by his expression, Edward hadn’t talk with his sister about it, or just didn’t want to turn into something bigger. So Bernard respected his decision and gave the cub two pats in the legs to tell him he could talk about it whenever he felt ready. And looking by how quickly he recovered his smile, the cub understood his message.

“Dad, turn up the volume!” Clarisse claimed with her hand pointing at the T.V.

“Sorry, sorry! Whatever my Queen wants,” and the lynx obeyed. And the rest of the night went as good as always.

He met with Nicholas four days later. The tiger asked him to wait at the park, as his turn was about to finish. Under the leafy trees, the cold didn’t hit too hard. Bernard brought his coat with him, a brown one that ended at his knees and had the look of being too old to still be used. He played a picross game in his phone to kill the time until Nicholas arrived, who later apologized about his delay.

“Something bothers you?” the feline asked minutes after the small talk about their days ended.

“I don’t know. I had a discussion with... well, my ex-wife,” Bernard dubiously replied, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets in shame.

“Oh, didn’t knew you were married.”

“We signed the divorce last year.”

For a moment they walked in silence, getting deep into the park, where the playground was now asleep. A couple of lights were flickering on their path.

“Is that a problem?” Bernard felt the sudden fear of rejection growing up.

“No, just took me by surprise. You didn’t gave me the look of a married male,” the tiger’s smile comforted Bernard. Nicholas moved closer to him.

“I really wanted to tell you, but couldn’t find the right time.”

“That’s ok, we haven’t even had a real date yet. There’s so many things I still don’t know about you. Any kids?”

“Two. She has the custody. They spend the weekend with me.”

“Crossing out those days on my calendar. ‘Dad’s quality time’ has priority over me.”

“I want to spend time with you too.”

“So I’m gonna mark the rest of the week as ‘Daddy’s quality time’.”

Bernard stared at him with the cheeks burning red. The tiger had a playful smile, but didn’t looked back, and he had a sudden urge to kiss him right there, as they stepped in the gravel of the playground.

“So what the discussion was about?” Nicholas took the first swing, listening to the chains tense over his weight.

“My son had problems with his step brother. Looks like he’s being mean to him. I talked with my ex to fix it, but she insisted that they’re just playing, getting used to being brothers.”

“And what do you think?”

“I don’t know,” Bernard pushed Nicholas softly. The cold air made the fur of his neck bristle. “I was the only son, don’t know how brothers and sisters treat each other. But I guess he’s angry for having to share everything with someone he didn’t grow with.”

“How long they had been living together?” he started to use his legs to gain momentum, holding firm to the chains as he looked at the lynx over his shoulder.

“Three months.”

“She didn’t waste her time, that’s for sure. It had something to do with the divorce?”

Bernard didn’t reply. He took the swing next to Nicholas, looking at the opposite direction. Giving a long sigh, he pushed himself on the landing marks left on the gravel.

“It’s kind of a hard story.”

“Won’t force you. I hope the things with your son get better soon.”

“Me too. He’s so cheerful that’s it’s hard to see him having troubles. I’m going to wait to see how things goes, nothing I can do from here.”

“You can always go and talk with his father. I’m sure he’s going to understand.”

“I hope so. It took us all a lot to get used to this. I don’t mind her being happy, but I won’t let her neglect my children.”

They were silent for another moment, just listening to the grind of the chains.

“So... what do you do for a living?” Nicholas asked to break the ice.

“I work at a bank.”

“You’re the one calling me to get the new Platinum Credit Card?”

“No, I’m the one calling you to pay your debt with the bank.”

Bernard shook his head with a smile and looked at the tiger besides him. He was looking at him, leaning back and smiling widely, his fur moving along with him. He started to feel more and more attached just for those gestures he had with him, casually making him feel better. Or maybe it was just his company, the sight of a young male showing a pure and real interest on him.

“What about you? What are you studying?” Bernard asked, looking at the front again.

“Journalism. I’ll be the one finding out all the dirty secrets of your bank. Wanna be my inside source? I’ll get you free coffee and long sessions of wild bareback sex.”

Not so pure, after all.

“Sounds tempting. I’ll think about it.”

“In the meanwhile I can send you more pics. Considering how often you appears as the most recent visitor I think you like the last one.”

Bernard stopped suddenly, raising some dirt with his paws. He shrugged, his cheeks getting hotter, his tail wrapped to the left leg. Nicholas’ chuckled just felt like him throwing salt to his wound.

“I... sorry, don’t think I’m stalking you...”

“Don’t be. You want to get laid as much as I do.”

“You really found me attractive for that?”

“Of course!” Nicholas stopped and turned Bernard with his paw to made him be face to face for a moment, before the chains went to its original position. “I’m dying to be with you, but I know you wanna take things slower. That makes you even cuter.”

Bernard sighed. The mist that came from his nose made him ask himself how cold was really outside that small bubble in which he and Nicholas were.

“I’m tired of finding the bed empty the next morning. I know some people don’t want to get attached, but what’s so bad about staying a little longer? Share a moment, a breakfast, something to find out if you can be with someone for something more than sex.”

“I know the feeling. Being young you don’t really care that much about it, until you found someone really cute and he leaves without saying anything. Then you kind of start to care, just not that much.”

The lynx looked at the small patch of sky. The memories flew back one after another, quick stitches at the heart that tried to took away his confidence. Nicholas’ tail wrapping around his brought him back to reality. When he looked at him, he found the tiger staring at the sky, too. So Bernard did it again.

“I told you. It takes a lot to find someone worth enough to take the risk. And I think you’re worthy.”

“Despite my age?”

“I like your age.”

His words made Bernard breath faster. He clenched to the chains. The tingle in his belly became stronger than ever. He wanted to threw his morals away and just take him to his room, to make love to him until both were exhausted, and to hold him tightly against his chest to keep him with him until the next day. He was so damn tempted.

“I like you, Bernard. I’ve been wanting to say it for a long time. And I want to find out if we can have something else. I think you’re worth of going slow.”

His body shivered. Nicholas’ words scared him but, at the same time, melted his heart. The tiger had something that he couldn’t describe with words, something that made his dreams look like a possibility. And he didn’t want to lose that.

“It scares me.”

“Am I being too straightforward?”

“No, it’s not that. I find you attractive. And charming. I guess it’s too soon to say that, isn’t it? What if it doesn’t work?”

“Then I’ll be your wingman.”

Bernard huffed and looked down at Nicholas, who was turning in the swing, wrapping the chain over him.

“You’re too handsome to be my wingman.”

“Then his friend must be as handsome as me.”

“I don’t believe that would be possible.”

The tiger stood up and took his hand to pull him out of the swing. In the middle of the deserted playground, Bernard let the younger feline guide him. Nicholas pulled him close enough to feel his breath, warm, with a smell of coffee and chocolate. It made him tremble. A shock ran through his spine and raised his tail for a moment. Petrified, Bernard could only saw the tiger getting his hands inside his coat to pull him into his strong embrace. Face to face, with their snouts almost touching, the older lynx let his emotions took control over him. His shy became clear with the slowness in which he held him back, as if the tiger was too precious and fragile, a dream from which he could wake up in any moment if he made a sudden move. His body warmth covered him. They shared the same breath. And Bernard lost himself into the beautiful shiny eyes of the tiger, a vivid green that made him think in the spring, vivid as everything about him.

“Am I going too fast?” the tiger whispered, his lips barely touching Bernard’s.

Was he? Bernard wanted to say yes, but it was impossible to resist the warm lips inviting him to kiss him. He wanted it. And Nicholas wanted it, too. Was he going too fast with the tiger? Was he going to had another deception? But as he tasted the coffee from his lips, and felt those young claws holding his body with passion and desire, those questions faded away from his mind, leaving him and Nicholas alone in that cold playground.

For a moment, he experienced peace. For that brief moment where their lips stayed together, Bernard experienced happiness. There was a mixture of desire and care in how the tiger held him, and in how he held him. And it lingered for several seconds after they pulled apart, panting heavily against each other.

“I think you’re going just fine,” Bernard finally replied, looking back at the green eyes of Nicholas. “Mind if we stay like this a little longer?”

“As long as you take me to a real date,” Nicholas cuddle with him, resting his face against the warm chest.

“I think I can do that. I think I can do many things right now.”

Bernard covered his sides with the coat, keeping the tiger as close as he could to his chest, and protecting him from the cold. He ignored, at least for that night, the voice that told him not to fall in love that easily again. He convinced himself, at least for that night, that he would stay like that with Nicholas for the rest of his life.

“What do you like about me, anyways?”

They went on dating for three weeks. Bernard took him to dinner the first week, with spicy chicken wings and burgers, where they shared stories about their drunken adventures after the lynx rejected a third beer; much for Nicholas’ surprise, his partner had a plentiful of stories to tell, some even worse than what he did. The second week they went to the amusement park, where Nicholas won a teddy bear for him, and gave the finger to the one in charge of the game and two players after their disgust face they showed to the couple.

Bernard made that question in the third week. Nicholas had two tickets for a matinee of a foreign movie, but thirty minutes into it and both felines hadn’t got what the movie was about. With most of the room empty, the tiger made a bed of the reclining spots and took the lynx’s lap as pillow.

“You had this cute face when you’re desperate. Like, your lip is trembling and you try to keep your manners despite how much you want to hit him in the face.”

“Really?” he looked down at him, giving him another popcorn. The tiger nodded and quickly added.

“You used it a lot. I guess it was when you found out how idiots your dates were.”

“I don’t recall feeling my lip tremble,” but he did, just not exactly as Nicholas described it. “I wanted to throw the coffee at their faces and say if that was the kind of hotness they were looking for.”

Nicholas chuckled. With the french language coming loud from the speakers, Bernard didn’t listened, but felt the sack of orange fur twitch on his lap.

“And that’s the only thing you liked about me?”

He received a long hum in reply. Took him some seconds to the tiger to spoke again, right after he sat back on his seat and rested his head over the lynx’s shoulder.

“Can’t say why. Has it happened to you that you look at someone really cute that makes you say ‘I wanna have his babies’,” an expression that made Bernard chuckle and hid his face in embarrassment, “and then you’re already making a montage of your lives together despite knowing you won’t see him again?”

“Leaving besides the babies part, yes, a couple of times.”

“Well, it was something similar. You came in with that dog the first time and, I don’t know, you got me right from the beginning. The way you smile and how passionate you looked while talking. And I started to daydream about us,” he made a pause and sighed, holding tightly to Bernard’s arm. That’s too corny, right?”

“I like you being corny. Reminds me of my days dating at highschool.”

“Oh, were you a lady killer? Or man killer?”

“WIth the girls at the chess club, yes.”

Nicholas looked up at him, doubtfully.

“I don’t know what surprises me more: girls in a chess club or you being in a chess club.”

“I was a nerd, and that’s extremely sexist.”

“I never saw girls at my school’s chess club. There were only guys very into ‘Star Wars’ and their next ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ session that please tell me you weren’t one on those.”

Bernard didn’t held his laugh, a loud one that earned him a general shush from the other ten watchers in the theater.

“No, thank god, I never got into role games. Tried it a couple of times, but it wasn’t my thing.”

“Good, because my first roommate was really into it. Was talking about it all the time and wanting me to go with him to his weekly reunion,” Nicholas waved his arms in the air as he told him that. “So I told him one night, ‘No Heffer, I’m gonna eat some cock tonight, that’s more funny that rolling some dices’,” he made a pause to scratch his chin. “Then I found out he was also gay and... it was a really cool semester after that.”

“Well, you have a high charisma stat.”

“Oh please don’t make that kind of jokes.”

They were soon interrupted by a porcupine dressed with the cinema’s uniform, who gently asked them to leave. Both shrugged all the way out the room, followed by the employer and the contempt looks of the movie watchers.

Out of the cinema, the couple walked with the midday sun over them, barely heating them out. Bernard kept Nichols close to him, their tails wrapped as they walked. That kind of contact, that he missed so much, had him now overflowing with happiness.

“Have anything in mind? I skipped school so I still have free the rest of the day,” Nicholas asked after his fake huff against the movie theater’s administration. “Well, at least until my turn start later.”

“Still trying to get fired from there?”

“I think I’m very close to achieve it.”

Bernard gave him a soft squeeze and took a quick look at his phone just to be sure everything was fine. There wasn’t any notification from work, fortunately.

“What about going to your place? The third date is a good one for that,” he suggested, giving a soft poke at the lynx’s belly.

“I don’t think so, my kids will arrive later today. Edward is very serious about his friday’s game day.”

“He kicks your ass in video-games? Wish I had a dad like that.”

“I actually play with him, not against. We’re playing one called ‘Monaco’, it’s really fun. Frustrating, too. But we’re having fun. It helped him a lot, too.”

“To deal with the divorce?” Nicholas seemed scared of that word, as if it was something painful for Bernard to talk about.

“Yes. It became another reason for him to go, and not just the time given by the court to see me.”

Nicholas made him stop in a bench. The two take a seat in front of the busy avenue, seeing the cars going in both directions without stopping.

“Why?”

The question came almost like a mutter. Bernard pondered about it. Besides a couple of friends at work, he hadn’t talk about his divorce with someone else. It wasn’t something he considered hard or painful, and yet, the idea of it made him feel a lump at his throat. Nicholas put his hand over his knee to reassure him, and he quickly held it tightly.

“It was for something that happened years ago. I got into a fight with her and left the house. Spent the night in a bar, tried to calm down with alcohol. Instead I woke up the next morning with another male; he said I wanted it, and as the days went on, I remembered that I did. I barely had any desire for my wife before that, and that just killed what was left. Took me one year to admit my sexuality, but I said that it wouldn’t change anything. I... I was wrong.”

“You met someone else,” the tiger muttered, his face already showing sadness and compassion. Bernard just nodded.

“There wasn’t any love between us, just another marriage forced because we were careless. We convinced ourselves that it was real love—and I wouldn’t have two kids if it wasn’t for that—but we ended up hating each other. Then one day I met someone at a business meeting. Just like you said, you start daydreaming in the moment you saw him. I still don’t know how it happened, but he took me to bed after a couple of months working together. After years of waking up besides a wife that can’t stop showing how much she hate you for everything... I couldn’t resist to someone showing real affection to me.”

He made a pause. Just the mere act of saying those words was enough to relive the kisses and caresses he gave him, the firmness of his hugs, even the way his body trembled whenever he breathed at his ear. He doubted for a moment if it was right to talk about it with Nicholas, but it was too late to stop, and now he noticed how much he needed to release that pressure in his chest.

“I loved him. And he loved me, too. And he loved so much that he actually asked me to leave with him. He got one of those one-in-a-lifetime offers. Start again, have our own new life. Needless to say I rejected it. I don’t love my wife, but I would give my life for my children. I couldn’t left them behind, and I couldn’t bring them with me. And when he insisted in staying if I wasn’t leaving, well... I had to break his heart.”

Bernard felt the tears watering his eyes. He felt everything coming back, the discussion they had, his attempts to calm him down, and the last words he said before he left, slamming the door and letting go who he felt was the love of his life. It was hard to hold his tears, but Nicholas helped him with his soft embrace, the natural warmth of his body surrounding him. He noticed more than just care and worryness in the way he hugged him, but Bernard was still scared to consider the tiger sharing his feelings. Yet, he wanted so much to think again about that possibility.

“I gonna hit you if you made that up.”

“I wish I had. But it’s true, every word of it. Years later, my ex-wife found some pictures of us in my computer, and that gave him what she needed for the divorce. And that’s it. Now she’s married again and I’m trying to start a new life.”

“Considering how quick she started again, I suppose she had all planned.”

“I know, but don’t have anything to prove it. It’s not like it matters, anyway.”

Nicholas held him tightly, but ended up leaving him. Bernard found himself in the way the tiger looked at the street, the hard attempt to find words that were too painful to say. Instead of taking his hand, he wrapped his tail along Nichola’s, and waited.

“I lied to you. My ex isn’t bringing his new guy to the store. My manager is my ex’s new girlfriend. I want her to fire me so I don’t give her the satisfaction of leaving on my own.”

“She has a grudge against you?” the lynx was now curious, making in his mind several explanations to the tiger’s lie. His true, however, proved to be quite simple.

“Mostly because I cheated on him. Now and then you come to find that asshole that you know is an awful being, but you still fall for how masculine and dominant—and even romantic—he can be. I fall for him, and wanted so many things with him. He loved me as much as I did as the beginning, then the inevitable came, but I didn’t want to admit it. It took him less than a year to made me look more like an accessory. I really tried to fix things, but he didn’t care. So, out of spite I cheated on him, to show him how much I didn’t care either. Somehow, my manager ended up being her girlfriend, and now she made my life a living hell because she considers me an asshole. So I do the same to her, to see who breaks first.”

Bernard unruffled his hair with his knuckles, making the tiger shrug until he stopped. He didn’t knew how to feel about that revelation. Angry? Sad? Betrayed? He went through all the possible emotions, and stopped in grateful. Grateful for his trust. The tiger apparently read his mind by what he told him next.

“Sorry for telling you this. I just don’t want to have secrets if we are really going to try something. If she find out that we’re dating, she probably is gonna tell you, and that’s worse. Better take that out of my chest before we got more attached.”

“For some reason I don’t want to go. And I won’t as long as you don’t cheat on me.”

“The same goes to you.”

Both shared a quiet laugh. When Bernard looked at him, he couldn’t stop himself from cleaning the tears of his cheeks. There was something really cute in the way he cried. It reminded him of a child scared of getting in troubles after saying the truth. Maybe another guy would have left after that revelation, suspicious of being with someone that cheated already. But Nicholas took his hand with such cuteness and gratefulness, that Bernard also found on him his fear of rejection and solitude. So he kissed the tiger, and let the four-letters word take form inside his mind.

“We deserve each other, right?” Nicholas asked him after a moment, still keeping their snouts together.

“I guess so. Still want to go to my place? We can lay down and look at us in silence.”

“No,” his reply surprised him. Nicholas squeezed his hand and tightened the wrap on his tail. “I wanna stay here a little longer, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. Right now I feel like if I had all the time of the world.”

And they kissed again, and Bernard felt that spark in his chest turning into something bigger. As he sink into the vivid green of his eyes, he called it by its name, and let an entire life play in his mind, a fantasy of thousand of days looking at those vivid green eyes every morning, that would end with him giving his last breath to the tiger, still feeling what he felt right from the beginning.

Love.