Current Track: Blabb
KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS
>You roll into the small parking lot of the church
>Ah yes, you've been here before, mainly with Mike and Alex to 'hunt ghosts' when you were younger
>You never found any ghosts but you did burn a couple thousand calories on the bike ride up the hill
>What?
>You were a little chubby back then
>Because you were… bulking…?
>It doesn't look like anyone is outside except Mike, who sits, shivering, on the concrete steps next to an overturned shopping cart
“Yo fagtron," you lean your head out the window
>Mike stands up and flips you off
>Ah, glad to see you two are back to normal
“Where is everyone?"
>Your voice rises over the mounting breeze
>"Inside!" Mike returns
>His voice booms like he swallowed a microphone
>Must be the vampire powers
>"Someone left one of the doors unlocked around back."
>He stands up and walks over to your idling car, throws open the door, and then hauls himself into your backseat
>"Hi Anon." He kicks the seat ahead of him, eliciting a sharp, feminine gasp from Sam. "Hi Thumper."
>Yep, Mike may be a vampire, but he's still Mike
“Hey asshole," you fire back
>"Ahhh it's good to be back to the old days of casually insulting one another-"
“-Until it explodes into violence," you say, cutting Mike off
>"Yeah. I missed our toxic dialogues."
“Strangely enough, so did I."
>Sam leans over the center console
>"Y-You two are m-mean to each other," he says, hair falling over his eyes
>"We're mean because we love each other," Mike leans forward and blows a kiss at you. “Anon is my bitch."
>Alright, you can't help but smile at that too
“If anything you're my bitch. Always stealing my beer, bumming rides off me. I'm your sugar daddy."
>Sam looks completely lost
>And you're sure as hell not going to explain this to him
>You clear your throat and try to steer the conversation somewhere more productive
“So where's Alex?"
>Mike stretches out
>"Jenna and Alex are inside the church. Turns out someone left the back door unlocked. Lord knows what they're doing in there."
>Yeah, he actually does. It's his house
“So why aren't you inside?"
>Mike scowls and points to his glowing eyes
“Oh. Right. Sorry again about that."
>But your apology is not weak this time, nor is it scared of Mike Sapone's anger
>It feels like you're talking to him as an equal for once
>"I'm still getting used to everything. You know, the nuances of being a blood sucking edgelord, but it turns out I can't actually enter the church. Holy ground and all that good stuff."
>"M-Mike," Sam speaks up. “Ha-Have you…"
>And then he trails off, shyly looking up to you to distract himself from Mikes annoyed scowl
>"Have I what?"
>"Y-You know…" Sam tries again
>"Oh. Blood." Mike folds his arms across his chest and looks directly ahead
>Not at Sam, but through him
>This seems to frighten the little rabbit
>"I don't want to talk about it."
>Sam shrinks into his clothes
>"S-Sorry."
>The vampire sighs deeply. “No, it's fine. I just don't want to talk about it. You two should get inside though, Comrade Alexi and Jenna are waiting for you. Or maybe you should all come out here. I don't know."
“Why is Jenna here?" You snatch the keys out of the ignition.
>Mike kicks his feet up onto the center console and shuts his tired eyes. “Because she saved my life."
>His ordinarily short, spiked hair is ruffled, his green eyes look bloodshot and red (even through their otherworldly glow), and his skin looks bruised and bloody
>And especially pale
>He's practically snoring already
>"By the way, I'm going to stay here for a hot minute. It's starting to get dark and cold outside and I'm sick of being in the fucking wind."
>Yeah, he's is probably done for the night
>You want to ask him about Jenna, but you don't bother
>All will be explained later
>Probably
>Hopefully

>You slip in through the back of the church, Sam at your heels
>You're grateful for the warmth
>The wind sharply slams the door shut behind you
>Sam jumps nearly a foot into the air,
>You know he's your friend and all, and he's got… issues…
>But it's like every little thing sets him off, and-
>"ANON!" Alex hops off the altar with a shout
>You also jump a little
>Alex throws his arms around you
>Sam looks on in dismay, and maybe a little of jealousy
>Sensing this, Alex detaches from you, bends his massive, 6'2" lanklet frame over and practically lifts the five-foot-nothing rabbit into the air
>"And Sam! Sam! Sam!" He bounces the rabbit like a baby
>Sam, of course, struggles but eventually gives up the fight
>"Calm down there, Alex," Jenna says, rising from a pew in front of the altar
>Her tail fans behind her, and the smile plastered across her face says she's happy to see that you and Sam are still alive. "They just got here, give 'em some room."
>She smooths out her knitted green sweater, ears folding against her skull
>Alex sets Sam down gingerly and pats him twice on the head while muttering “pat pat"
>Sam winces with each assailing pat

>You don't know what to say
>You feel like you just got ran over by a truck full of emotions
>Mike is back on your side
>Alex is alive
>Jenna is here too
>And Sam is safe
“I think I need to sit down for a second," you say as you lean into a polished, creaking pew
>It squeals with age and protest under your meager weight
>Sam hops up next to you, his drawings still in hand
>You don't really mind him tailing you anymore
>It's just the signals from Alex that you can't abide
>Alex winks suspiciously at you
>You raise your middle finger to him in response
>Witnessing the exchange, Jenna rolls her eyes. "Another thing nobody will explain to me, right?"
>"We're trying to help Anonymous see that he's gay," Alex offers
>A rush of blood hits high in your cheeks
>"Y-Y-You're gay?" Sam says with a weak voice
>He almost sounds heartbroken
>That's… not what you expected
“God damnit, I'm not gay!" You plead. “Jenna, I swear I'm not."
>She shrugs
>"It doesn't bother me if you are. I've got a gay uncle. It's not a big deal."
>GOD DAMNIT
>You throw your hands up
>You don't need this shit right now
“Can we just… Not talk about this right now? SO much has happened and changed since I last saw the both of you. I need to talk to ALL of you as soon as possible, so we can get a plan together."
>"A plan?" Alex remarks. “What happened to wanting to stay out of this?"
>A heavy breath of air escapes your lungs
“We can no longer hide from this. And frankly, I'm fucking done running away from things that scare me. You understand?"
>Alex issues a crisp salute
>"Sir!"
>Alex is like an obedient child sometimes
>Stupid, well-meaning, optimistic, but above all, he has what Mike doesn't:
>Loyalty
>But you can tell that something has changed with Mike
>In a good way
>Your eyes turn to Jenna
“This is your chance to walk away. I won't hold anything against you if you don't want to involve yourself. Hell, I'm not even sure you'll believe the kind of shit that I'm about to tell you."
>It's true
>How the fuck could anyone believe this shit?
>You could present all the evidence that you have
>The aggression at school
>The vampire cheerleaders
>The werewolf jocks
>The size of the moon
>The sudden absence of Gloria Duchene
>The Book of Rite
>The Book of Wrath (once you get a hold of it)
>Mike MOTHERFUCKING Sapone's current state is evidence enough
>ALL of this, and it wouldn't be enough for anyon-
>"And let you all hurt yourselves? Nah. Plus I think I involved myself already," she says, a dissaproving hand on her hip
>"H-How?" Sam squeaks up
>"Lydia Penferth ate my car," she replies
>Her lips part and you can see the rows of her meticulously cleaned fangs
>You shrink back against the pew
>Damn
>She kind of reminds you of Mike
>"Welllllll alright then," Alex says, trying to ease the tension in the room. “What say we all take a jaunt on over to the rust bucket and Anon can let us in on what he's discovered?"
>Oooh, jaunt. You like that word
>You're proud of Alex
>His dumbass is learning bigger and bigger words
>Probably all the books you've been forcing him to read
>You give a disparaging look at the double-wide white oak doors behind you
>From the stained glass windows, crafted in the shape of a cross that loom over the wooden altar, the blue light of dusk is pouring through
>It's going to be cold as hell you tell yourself
>But you go anyway, because this shit is important

>You rap several times on the window
>Mike wakes with a loud snort
>He looks about, shaking the dreams from his head
>When his eyes settle on you, he nods twice and reaches for the lock

>This car isn't big
>It's rusty, smelly, and gets terrible gas mileage
>But damnit, you're starting to grow attached to its flaws
>The cracked windshield
>The bent-in front hood
>The raw passenger side door which lacks any kind of upholstery
>This little battlewagon can fit five people, albiet uncomfortably
>Mike crams himself in the middle seat in the back
>Him and Jenna are practically ontop of each other
>And you can see Jenna looks flustered by the whole situation
>Lol nerd with no experience with the opposite sex aside from her slut brother
>Alex spreads his spindly legs wide like an asshole
>He probably has no idea what he's doing or how much room he's taking up, he's just stretching his legs
>Sam gets the privilege of sitting in the passenger seat next to you
>He's distracted by his drawings that he never got to show you
>You glare at him until he stuffs them into his hoodie's pocket
>You'll look after this, you promise to yourself
>You don't enjoy seeing him so sad
>Alright, the gang's all here
>So, do you-
>"Can you hurry up?" Mike says. "Fur is hot and I'm basically using Jenna as a coat right now."
>"You're WHAT!?" Jenna says with a gasp. “You so are not. You're the one rubbing up against me!"
>"I dunno," Alex says with a dopey smile. “I think both of you would make great coats for each other."
>Mike slugs Alex hard
>"Hey, don't hit him!" Jenna says, catching at Mike's arm
>Mike looks about ready to turn and hit the vixen as well
>To your surprise, he lets his hands drop into his lap
>"Sorry," he grumbles
>You can't help but crack a slight smile
>Just like normal. Alex is a dumbfuck, Mike is an asshole
>And you like Jenna. She's smart but doesn't put up with Mike's shit
>But now is not the time for this
>Now is time for… EXPOSITION

>The sun slips behind the mountains, small trails of golden light shining through the overcast
>Blue dusk had long since settled over everything, smothering the world in a shade above black
“So just to recap: Vanessa and her gang of retards have the ritual in place and ready to go. They just need this here book-" you hold the red book out to the passengers in the back, though you doubt any of them can see it in the darkness. “-and Sam to finish things."
>"Okay, easy," Mike claps his hands. “We don't give them either the book or Thumper."
>You frown
“Unfortunately we also need Sam and the book to stop the ritual and banish the Behemoth. Oh, and from what I can tell, we'll have to do it at the altar that we all saw on Friday."
>"I've got a question," Jenna cuts in. “What is this Behemoth?"
“Dunno," you say. “It's some kind of old god that they say can bring the world to chaos-"
>"-And debauchery and hedonism," you and Mike utter in unison.
>You throw him a confused look
>"Lydia Penferth tried to convince me to join her side earlier today. She told me the same shpeel. I blinded her with oranges."
>"Impressive," Alex says
>"It- It-" Sam tries sitting up in his seat
>Damn, he's actually contributing
>It's enough to make you smile
>Ordinarily he doesn't speak unless spoken to
>"It makes you s-s-see things that a-a-aren't there, I s-s-saw you my brother," Sam says, almost ashamed
>You've been meaning to ask about… Jacob? Was it Jacob? Maybe after this
>You clear your throat to dispel the melancholy mood settling over the vehicle's occupants
“So like I said. We'll need to bring Sam and the Book of Rite with us on Friday, sneak into the gym, and… I'll read up and figure out a way to undo all of this. But I know for sure we need Sam and the book."
>"We could…" Jenna starts, before her words collapse into a series of thoughtful hums
>"We could get costumes. I mean, the Spooktober Fest is a costumed event. Plus the goths won't be able to tell it's us if we're all dressed up."
>There's silence, almost as if everyone is still digesting what you said
>Sam squeaks up again
>In the mounting darkness, you can see his hands go to his ears and tug at them softly
>"W-What about my d-d-dad?"
>Ah yes
>The crazy, abusive, dangerous, alcoholic rabbit who is probably still out hunting for Sam right now
>You hadn't even thought of him
>He's a rogue element
>A dingo in the daycare
>It's not like Sam can avoid school
>If he misses any more class his chances of graduating are slim
>And you will not fuck his life up anymore than you already have
>In the darkness, you shrug, hoping nobody can see your complete ineptitude
>"What's so scary about Sam's dad?" Mike asks
>Ah, that's right. He never met the guy
“Bruh, Sam's dad is-"
>"Deeply misguided," Alex cuts in
>….
“You could say that."
>Or you could call him what he really is:
“Sam's dad is a violent drunk who's out hunting for us."
>Silence
>"You mean, like, right now?" Mike asks. “As in, he's driving around looking for us? To do what?"
>Sam pulls anxiously at his ears
>Reflexively, you snatch his hands with your own and give them both gentle squeezes
“H-Hurt me," Sam says. “Last time I r-r-ran away my d-d-dad burned me and b-beat me,"
>Jesus CHROIST
>He BURNED Sam?
>You remember the way he stomped on your hood and caved it in
>Fuark
>Somehow the goths seem less threatening than a psychotic rabbit
>You guess you'll… cross that bridge when you come to it?
“He knows my name and my car, but I think we're safe here. Nobody ever comes to the old church."
>You only get silence in response
>…
>Probably wasn't a good enough answer
“Well shit, what do you want me to say? I don't have a plan. If we stay here, we'll likely be fine ."
>…
>"I bet I could take him in a fight," Mike remarks
>Well probably not
>But okay
“Sure thing, buddy."
>Your sarcasm is nearly physical
>Mike folds his arms across his chest, poking Jenna in the boobs
>He doesn't seem to care, but the fox does
>She strains away from the human, only gaining meager ground
>Sam squeezes your hand anxiously
>And for a good minute, nobody speaks
>You all just saturate in the revelations
>Marinate in their weight
>SEETHE in their-
>Alright that's enough
>Alex, thankfully, says one word
>But it's enough to get you all to pile out of the car and into the fresh air (it was getting kind of musty)
>"Fire?"