An Interview with Psudo the Owl
Conducted by Horatio Husky
Hello Psudo!
Thank you once again for agreeing to participate in what I hope to be a successful series of interviews on the many talented babyfur and ABDL writers that exist out there on the internet. The format of these interviews will mostly be in the form of questions asked in a series of emails, allowing for a better more personalized approach as some questions will be made specific to answers given to more generic questions. This will allow for a more unique interview process for each writer.
That being said, let's start off with our first batch of questions!
On your FurAffinity page, it says that you first became a furry during Halloween in the year of 2009, how exactly did this entrance into the furry fandom come about?
Alright, Horatio, let's see what we've got, here!
Right, Halloween of 2009. I was, at the time, a slick young Canadian lad of fourteen years, a handful of months into High School, and, for the first time in my life, with access to both a laptop, and internet. This was fantastic, since, at the time, I was a massive Runescape player, and it consumed a number of hours at home, each night. To anyone who's ever played Runescape, you'll know that the game is 10% doing things, and 90% running calculations in your head about the things you're doing, while watching your character's on-screen sprite hack away at a tree, or a monster, or a rock.
As such, browsing the internet is a decent distraction from watching looped animations for hours and hours, and, while drifting through the 'weird' part of Youtube, I stumbled upon the Anthrocon 2009 announcement and promotional videos, which I found strangely intriguing. Who are these strange folks in their animal costumes? Many hours of research, and a brief stint trolling da furrehz in Youtube comments later, I decided this stuff... was actually pretty cool.
I eventually moved from Youtube to FA, made my Furaffinity account in early 2010, and lurked for a few years before eventually posting my first stories. I also recall Tori Belliachi's Youtube Furry War and Furry Guru videos having an impact on my decision to join, though, ten years later, he seems like a bit of a silly person.
As has been made quite obvious, you are a writer! One, specifically, who composes works discussing infantilism as well as incorporating various kinks such as diaper fetishism, bondage, and sub/dom play. However, most people don't start off reading and writing such content. What authors then would you say were very formative in your writing?
Side note, but I can't help but read these questions in a British accent. To tell the truth, it was the conspicuous lack of good babyfur writers in the fandom when I joined that powered my decision to finally take the leap and become a content creator. I always read a lot, as a child. Without TV, Internet, or much in the way of friends, I took solace in books. I remember being unimpressed with most of the babyfur content available, at the time, and so I sort of shrugged my shoulders and saw if I could do better.
As it turns out, I could. K. A. Applegate was a big part of my childhood, as far as writers go. Naomi Novik, and the Novels of Temeraire. Kevin Hearn's Iron Druid Chronicles. There are others, but if I list them all, I'll be here all day.
Following that same line of thought, what babyfur or ABDL authors or pieces did you find quite influential when you first began to write? Was there a composition in particular that inspired you to also set ink to paper yourself?
Hmm, again, I can't really think of any babyfur or ABDL authors I'd say really struck a chord with me, back in the day. Which isn't to say they were bad, of course, just lacking in refinement. As far as I know, I might have been the first babyfur writer to ever seriously take commissions, and have that be their primary income. As such, relatively few ever stuck with it, lacking the profit motive, and reached a professional grade of prose and storytelling. With artists, it's different.
There's plenty of artists that do that as their living, and I'd argue it's because they do it constantly that their art is so high-quality, rather than the reverse. In spite of that, I can think of a few stories I remember enjoying. Blue Glow, by Onecho, was an enjoyable, professionally arranged story. Swift Fox on FA is also a very capable writer, and I did actually enjoy his stories before I ever began writing my own. Daniel's Reluctant Regression stands out in my memory, as I remember reading it late at night when I was supposed to be getting ready for school the next day.
There wasn't any one piece I could point to that inspired me. On the contrary, I believe it was actually me getting frustrated with the lack of what I was looking for in a babyfur story, done at a high standard of quality, and in abundance, that made me sort of shrug and go, "Fine, I'll do it myself." Which I then proceeded to do.
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Interesting! So a lack of quality content in a genre that you found to be deserving of better stories to read. A noble and more successful venture if I would say so myself! Perhaps my side of the dialogue may read as British because most of my education in proper writing form and speech came from people with a more European background, specifically my mother who learned British English in school! However, I digress.
We now understand a little bit about your background in how you entered the furry fandom, however, there is still the question of how you came to realize you were an ABDL! When did you understand that you had these feelings? And do you consider yourself more of an adult baby or a diaper lover?
Well, that would certainly explain it! Mostly it's just something to do with syntax and word choice. But yes, let us continue!
Funnily enough, I only discovered AB/DLism and Babyfurism after becoming a furry, and discovering Furaffinity, which has been my primary furry go-to site ever since. Of course, like I imagine was the case with a lot of babyfurs and AB/DL types out there, I grew up silently imagining and fantasizing about being back in diapers, and treated like a baby, occasionally making improvised diapers out of towels and plastic bags (I'm not kidding), but it was only after I discovered... I think it might have been Catmonkshiro, specifically, and his diaper-related art, that I had this moment of realization that went something along the lines of, "OH, this isn't just me?"
Your fursona, Psudo, is quite a unique little character. Avian fursonas are by no means a common type of character, so why did you choose an owl to personify yourself in? Also, what is the background story for little Psudo, did he too go throw a history similar to your development as an ABDL and a writer or is his background independent of your own personal experiences?
Psudo is entirely his own thing, at this point. As I've grown and developed as a furry, I've gradually moved away from a single-character representation of myself. He started out the way you describe, as little more than my furry avatar and stand-in, but since then multiple extensive storylines have given him his own canonical backstory and personality separate from me. As to his meta-origins, that's a bit more complicated.
I suppose I could point to K.A. Applegate's old Animorphs books as the origin of my specific interest in birds, and their extreme under-representation in the fandom also contributed. As for an owl specifically, I'd always liked the look of them, plus, as a chronic insomniac, their nighttime persuasion appealed to me greatly.
If you'd asked me ten years ago, I'd have told you I designed Psudo in the likeness of a barn owl because those were symbols of wisdom and creativity in several ancient cultures, notably classical Greece and Rome, though I've chilled out on the classics nerd since then.
Entering the furry community and the ABDL community is no easy task, as especially with infantilism or diaper fetishism there is, unfortunately, an embarrassing social stigma associated with it.
If you are comfortable with sharing this, what was your main strife or challenge when entering these communities and searching to accept yourself as being an individual who indulges in such activities and identifies as such a person of these exotic interests? Do you have any advice to anyone reading this interview who wishes too to enter the online world of such exotic interests on how to deal with such things?
Oh, jeeze, this is going to be a quick one. My main challenge with being an AB/DL type? Early on, at least... money. Diapers and baby stuff are expensive and hard to come by. As to the social stigma and challenges... I couldn't have cared less, and still really couldn't. I was always known for being someone who couldn't give half a damn about anything, which started out as a social defense mechanism back in elementary school, and grew into an integrated part of my personality. I came to high school dressed as an anime girl for Halloween, or as Joseph Stalin, and it happened on several occasions that my behavior would be so outlandish that school staff couldn't find any rules I'd technically broken, because nobody had ever thought to make these things against any rules.
Wearing diapers to school, which I'd done on several occasions, was usually just the fifth or sixth weirdest thing I'd done on any given month, so nobody ever really cared. When my parents found out, as they inevitably did, I just sort of went, "Yeah, I like diapers," and it was never spoken of again. I've never had any difficulty accepting these parts of myself.
I'd... absolutely not advise young readers who might be reading this to follow my example, or at least not without extensive forethought. As much as it might be easy to not care when you're in high school, once you enter the job market, and a cursory Google search of your name shows up dozens of Facebook posts of you getting caught wearing diapers, that'll absolutely sway people's judgment of you, and probably not for the better. For the most part, I'd advise them to accept themselves, but not to make a spectacle of it.
An interest in diapers or other paraphilias are entirely normal and natural, but they will still be considered super weird by anyone who doesn't take the time to research them, or share the interests. Indulge as desired in a healthy, reasonable manner, but remember that society at large doesn't understand these things very well, and that self-moderation is always advisable. I had the advantage of growing up in a super liberal, super progressive area, with parents that thought it best to not interfere with my interests, but not everyone has this privilege, so please think through your indulgences in advance! It might save you a lot of headache down the road.
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I can't say I've chilled out much on the classics stuff, I still very much enjoy fantasizing about that particular branch of fantasy myself! As for your response to the last question, I think that is sage advice. Personally, I definitely did not grow up in an environment where such eccentricities would have flown. Dressing up as Joseph Stalin? Maybe... Diapers? That would have ended in a lot of unpleasantness, so I admire your courage and pluck!
So, you started off your AB/DL career much like me actually, with fantasies and arts&crafts makeshift diaper attempts (wadded toilet paper does a pitiful job of absorbing I myself have discovered through extensive scientific research haha). You also had the opportunity to actually purchase diapers rather early in life as it would seem. When did you purchase them and what were the thoughts running through your head as you were able to first put on some padding after leaving them when you were little?
Alright, sorry this took so long, things have been tremendously hectic on my end this past week. Heh, you're not wrong! The classics really are great, and I'd recommend anyone to pick them up on their spare time. When you're not being forced to read them by an overeager English teacher, they can be surprisingly entertaining for things penned hundreds or thousands of years ago.
Ah, jeeze, the yea olde artse and craftes diaperes. I remember those. I always used folded up towels, not paper towel, but the idea was similar. I'm still amazed to this day that nobody ever caught on to where the towels were vanishing. And yes, relatively early in this case being that I was... Seventeen, I think? Does that count as early? It was a pack of the old Depends Ultra-Absorbancy, which have since been tragically discontinued in favor of the less 'diaper' looking adult diapers, marketed towards people who don't want their Depends to look like they were intended for babies. They weren't very thick, or absorbent... comfortable, durable, or cute, but they were exciting as hell at the time.
I remember being awfully pleased with my notion of pulling out the bottom drawer of my dresser, and then hiding my first ever case of diapers underneath that, in the hidden space between the dresser and the floor... At least until the tracks in the bottom of it tore the outer plastic on two or three of them. I also remember being kind of anxious about walking into Shoppers Drug Mart (A Canadian national-brand pharmacy, I don't know if they exist in the United States,) and walking out with a case of diapers, but it was... 10:30 PM, and the store closed at 11:00, and the woman behind the counter couldn't possibly have cared less.
Moving more into the literature aspect of things, your first babyfur related upload is titled, "Straight to the Point." Tell us, was this the first babyfur/ AB/DL related story you'd ever written? Was it significant in your forming as a babyfur writer or more of a stepping stone to really dive into the lake of babyfur writing? Is there anything about the story that you still like today or particularly dislike/have improved upon since then?
Onward! Straight to the Point was... sort of my first? My first foray into writing on FA was actually to edit stories on behalf of others, which I only ever did... I think three or four times. Suffice to say that the writers in question didn't seem to put much effort into their stories, and I took it upon myself to essentially rewrite them from the ground up. I remember keeping an eye on their watcher counts and the number of faves on those stories when they were uploaded, and seeing a surprising uptick in the total number following the stories that I'd redone for them, and thinking to myself... Huh. Maybe I should give this a real shot.
To that end, I decided to write the most rank sort of simple, shameless babyfur smut I could think of. It was like 4,000 words, spectacular in it's simplicity, and timeless in it's innocence of anything related to consistent plot, interesting characters, or an adherence to basic physics. My plan, at the time, was that I'd start off by writing the same sort of smutty content that got views for other writers, just... better. More specific, detailed descriptions, better pacing, higher standard of quality, more frequent uploads. Then, over time, I'd introduce more complicated plot and story elements alongside the basic diaper and baby fetish stuff. Which is to say yes, it was a sounding board for greater things to come.
The piece of your writing which I am most familiar with and most fond of is titled, "The Vacant Years" which goes up to 26 chapters and has an impressive array of universe creation in it, as well as very distinct characters that are a joy to follow. Switching back and forth between their parallel plots was a point of great excitement and anticipation when reading it. Before I keep on gushing about the story, tell us what are your thoughts on it? You were uploading chapters for the story for over a year, so you must have put a significant amount of investment in it. If you can, give us a little history on how that story came about.
Oh, yeah, Vacant Years! That was actually something of a big step for me as a writer. After a few months of doing little one-off stories like Straight to the Point, I came to the conclusion that I was ready for something bigger. Summer Vacation of 2013 had come around, and I once again found myself with way more free time than things to fill it with. As such, I undertook to novelize what, up until that point, had just been a roleplay log I'd done a year earlier with a friend I'd met on omegle, of all places. This was Two Weeks, you could call it the Alpha Test for Vacant Years, which came some time later. Two Weeks was my first real crack at a babyfur novel, and it... wasn't very good. I struggled with motivation and drive, and didn't go in with any overarching plan. Vacant Years, on the other hand, was a commission, so I held myself to a far higher standard of quality overall. Tornpup, a long-time friend of mine, approached me back in…
It had to be mid/late 2013, or early 2014, and told me he'd like to commission me for something sort of... big. He said he didn't really care how much it cost, and that he'd be happy to pay for something 100,000 words long or more, and, better yet, he just sort of pointed at Two Weeks and told me to do that, except more, and better. As you said, the writing lasted for almost a year... I still haven't uploaded all of it, I don't think. I remember thinking at the time that it was getting out of hand in terms of length and depth, and I wasn't sure how I'd actually end this 200,000 word beast, when the choice was sort of taken out of my hands when things came up in Tornpup's life, and I believe he needed to direct the funds elsewhere. Which was... fine, really. I occasionally still get notes asking if/when it'll be finished, but, for all intents and purposes, it was more of an ongoing project I'd have kept pounding away at forever if I'd been able to, and I was able to then put that energy towards other things I hoped would pan-out more in the long term. There was actually plans in the works for a second draft of the story, a while back, with more in the way of universe and plot cohesion, rather than my old slapdash style, but unfortunately it never got off the ground. I was, at the time, already committed to other, more interesting writing projects (from my point of view, anyway,) which is the main reason why my upload frequency slowed, then stopped, in early 2016.
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Fascinating! A call to a greater quality of storytelling, a noble cause indeed! I myself remember the journey of when I carried my brown box containing a pack of Rearz lil Monsters; my own first package of diapers purchased due to their relative cheapness and babyish designs. Although I knew my worries were utterly ridiculous I kept expecting everyone to ask me what was in the box! I had even rehearsed a lame, little story about how it's just another pillow for my bed a few times! But I digress, back to the discussion of babyfur literature! Now for a bit of more rapid-fire pace!
Are there any works that you have upon their completion you found yourself to be very dissatisfied with? How did you address your dissatisfaction in your future writing if this ever was the case?
Sorry for missing this! I'll reply tonight. Let's see... Snrk, I think that's consistent with how a lot of babyfurs feel their first time buying padding at a retailer. Overwhelmingly, I just didn't care what people thought about me, and if anyone had bothered to ask my first time, I probably would have just told them straight.
Have I found any of my works particularly dissatisfying... Hmm, yes and now. I suppose you could say that all my work looks and feels subpar in retrospect, but that's true for most people in artistic fields. You improve, and look back, and see how far you've come. Particularly dissatisfied, though? Not usually with my personal works, but I did have a few commissions that really rubbed me the wrong way, stories that I knew I didn't want to write, but took anyway because I needed the money, and didn't have a customer base big enough to turn people away at the time. That's a big issue for new content creators, and one that lacks any real solution. I sort of solved it by just ponying up and continuing to work until I could pick and choose what I wanted to write, and take only commissions that felt like I'd genuinely enjoy writing them.
Do you have any stories that you wrote that received less of a reaction that you expected? If so, which one(s) and why do you think this was the case?
Stories that received less of a reaction than I expected... That sort of defines my entire online writing career, to be honest. I did have a lot of faithful readers, by the standards of babyfur writing at the time, but I remember always feeling inadequate in comparison to the more popular media on FA. It's normal for even the 2nd tier artists on the site to get 10-15x as many faves and views per picture that an equivalent writer gets per story upload, which is understandable... it takes a lot more effort to read a story than glance at a picture, after all, which was a sizable barrier to me. I don't actually think I can point to any of my stories and honestly say that I was satisfied with how many views it got, since, while fetishistic in nature, my writing was also extremely niche.
Are there any pieces that you have written that you would say you have written yourself most into?
I feel like I'm not doing so well on the part that actually deals with my writing, heh. Pieces I have written myself the most into... I'm not really sure how to answer this, even with the elaboration on the question you gave. Anyone who's ever written with me knows that I am a tremendously technical writer, very much a follower of the good stories as a science and writing as a skill school of literature. My primary goal is to entertain people, and my secondary goal is to produce a quality product that I enjoy making, and can be proud of. I suppose if I interpret the question as which of my stories have I put the most sweat and tears into, that'll definitely have to go to Lactis Mundi, a massive fantasy universe which I share with a number of other close friends and associates. It's certainly not any of my babyfur writing.
Which story of yours has the most emotional impact or is the most dramatic or even the most moving? Essentially, have you ever written a story with the intention of making the reader feel a little teary-eyed afterward?
Most emotional impact... This is a bit of a weird one, because I've always struggled to emotionally invest in my own writing. Something about the absolute control over the story I have as a writer makes it very difficult for me to intentionally engage on that level, and so I simply strive to make a technically high-quality story, and let people take from it as they will. I've actually gotten a lot of notes over the years from people sharing their opinions on my work, and saying they feel like I was speaking specifically to them... even though, if I put all these people in a room, I doubt they could agree on anything to do with my work, heh. I've always found it kind of pandering to go into a story with an agenda like that, and, instead, try to focus my work around being entertaining, fun to read, and, if the reader is so inclined, a bit thought provoking as a distant secondary concern. On the other hand, my collaborative writing is a completely different matter, though I don't believe any of that has ever reached the general public.
And the last one for this round, is there any babyfur/ABDL story in particular not written by yourself that you have found to be one of notable quality?
Okay, final question! Other babyfur writing of note... The first thing that comes to mind is Kaeden's Commitment, written by Draugr on FA, but I'm not sure that counts seeing as it's literally fanfiction of fanfiction of something I wrote. It's definitely still worth a read, and one of the more well-written pieces of babyfur writing out there, but I feel a bit biased. In the way of shorter stories, anything by Swift Fox has always been very enjoyable for me, and he's been a babyfur forever.
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As per usual those were some excellent answers! I will be checking out Kaeden's Commitment and Swift Fox's works in the future. It is definitely interesting to hear your perspectives on your writing and relationship to the commissioner since I find that I myself am facing similar challenges as I am beginning to get more commissioners. I have only had to reject one so far, and it was because he directly violated my TOS on what topics I was willing to write about, I have been very lucky in that all the others have been a delight to work for! This shall be the final round of questions, and they're engineered more towards getting information out there that you believe to be important!
Where do you plan on taking your writing now, into the future? Is there an end goal or objective you would like to achieve as a babyfur writer?
Alright, last question set! I'll try to do this one in a slightly more timely manner.
Where do I plan on taking my writing, now, and in the future? That's actually a good question. Most of my efforts, in the past year and change, have been directed towards my art, rather than my writing. Mostly because, due to personal circumstances, I'm not able to get a typical full or part time job, and freelancing is my only income. As such, when I realized that my babyfur commissions would soon stop being enough income to support myself, I diversified immediately, and art had better long-term prospects. I do still intend to return to writing, possibly on a crowdfunding model, most likely combined with art in a comic, graphic novel, or illustrated novel format. For the most part, these won't be babyfur related, though it can be expected that they'll at least have optional babyfur elements included, since those are interests as close to my heart as ever, even if I doubt they'd play well with the broader audience I need to pursue to support myself. I suppose I've already achieved pretty well everything I could have hope to, as a writer, which was also a factor in my decision to move elsewhere. I don't think there's really room for a career in babyfur writing, if that makes sense, and, by that point, I had already been by far the most recognizable and popular babyfur writer in the fandom for several years, to my knowledge. As a writer overall, I'd eventually like to publish my own work, either traditionally, or through self-publishment, but obviously these will have to be babyfur free to gain any traction, or at least have the babyfur elements subtle or optional.
What is one thing you would advise younger, less experienced writers who wish to engage in taking and writing babyfur story commissions that you wish you had known when first starting off?
Younger, less experienced babyfur writers and commissions... Well, I don't think there's any single piece of advice I can point to definitively, but I'll give it a shot. Be persistent. You don't need to outrun the bear, you just need to outrun the guy next to you. Being a paid artist of any stripe is hard work, don't romanticize it, but it's very rewarding work once you get past the initial hurdle. Your first 300 readers will be the hardest to get, and your first 20$ will be the hardest to make. Overdeliver for your first several commissions, you really want the commissioner to feel shocked and excited when they get their commission. Make an icon for your stories, include basic relevant information in an easily readable format. This will make your work orders of magnitude easier to spot and more interesting to people scrolling on FA, or elsewhere. The formula for a successful business, online or elsewhere, is to provide a good product, at a fair price, in a reasonable time frame. Everything else is of secondary importance. Be polite, it costs you nothing, even if the other person isn't. Don't be discouraged if your writing doesn't attract hordes of watchers and favers. One regular customer is worth 100 watchers with blank profiles and brush bucket icons. Read other writer's stories, comment on them, make friends. If you can, reinvest your first 200-300$ into your brand. Buy art for your most popular stories. If you can get the artist to link back to the story in question, so much the better. Cross-Pollination is king in online media of every kind.
And finally, is there anything else that you would like to tell those who are reading this interview? This could be a shameless plug or a message of any sort that you wish to impart, feel free to say whatever you want!
Things I'd like to tell the audience... heh. Well, I suppose I'd like to double down on my last point. Be Persistent. The internet is chock full of people with dreams, people who make the decision to become a writer, or an artist, or get into shape, or improve themselves in some other meaningful but difficult way, and the sad fact is that a lot of us get discouraged if the results aren't immediate (and sometimes even if they are!). The trick isn't in never falling down, it's about what you do after. Go in expecting to have false starts, understanding that they aren't the end of the world, and rely upon the fact that, with enough persistence, you can accomplish basically anything. Natural talent doesn't exist, there is only skill, and skill is accumulated through hard work and effort. Where your favorite artists and writers were, you are. Where they are, you can go on to be. So buck up, because we're saving a seat for you when you get here.
Thank you so much for participating in this interview with me! It has been most interesting to hear what you have to say and hear the wisdom that you have to share!
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Thank you for reading this interview with Psudo and thank you Psudo so much for your time during this interview!
You can find Psudo's writing here: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/gamestreamer/
His artwork here: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/kodikins/
And follow him on his twitter here: https://twitter.com/Argyraspides
Our one and only owl writer, Psudo. Art by Akitary: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/akitary
If you'd like to read more interviews such as these, be sure to give me a watch on FurAffinity, Sofurry, Deviantart, or Wattpad, and follow me on Twitter @horatiohusky.
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/horatiohusky/
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