An Interview with Paper_Paws
Conducted by Horatio Husky
Hello Paper_Paws!
Thank you once again for agreeing to participate in an interview! It's always a pleasure to meet a fellow diaperfic writer and get an opportunity to pick their brains on such related topics! As per the usual trend of the interviews we'll start off slow and general and delve more into the specifics as you find comfortable! You may, of course, decline any question you wish or even rephrase it to a more appropriate one if you wish!
Recently you celebrated a 500 follower milestone on FurAffinity, congratulations! But not everybody is a furry only after joining that website, how long have you been in the community and when did you first realize that you were a furry?
Hi Horatio,
Thank you! I first got into furry in high school. My first boyfriend was a furry, and he was also into diapers. We went to the same school, which is kind of funny. At the time, it felt like one of those diaper stories where two ABDLs just run into each other, and it comes out of nowhere. But that was how it happened. Honestly, I can't remember if he made me a furry or if I started dating him because I was already into it. Chicken, meet egg. My first attempt at a fursona was a bat. I drew him very badly at the time. I remember I couldn't figure out how to get the wings quite right, and I was struggling at learning to draw furries (I still am).
Realizing one is an ABDL is a little bit more shocking than realizing one is a furry, but it tends to come to be obvious earlier in life. When did you first realize your interest in such a fetish and how did you come to realize it?
Yes, it was definitely earlier in life for me. I know I realized it some time in my early teen years, but lot of that is blurry now. But I remember that I learned the phrase "diaper fetish" from the internet. The wikipedia-hole led me to other words like "infantilism" and "paraphilia" and for awhile I got really into learning about sexual classifications - I found them so fascinating. I still kind of do. I read a lot of books about the history of sexual science for my job, so I guess that interest has followed me in life. What's weird to me, thinking back on it, was that I learned sexuality existed at that moment. The internet was like: fetishes exist. And that blew my mind. Learning that my love of diapers had a name, and that name was fetish was my first real encounter with sexual norms, with the idea of them. What I mean is, learning that this wasn't a normal thing made me conscious that it was a thing in the first place.
Why did you originally decide to start writing? Were there any stories in particular that you found inspirational or were you more of a case of that you just felt like you really needed to write down your active imagination?
I started writing about diaper stuff in my teen years, but after that, it was off-and-on, and I never shared anything. Back then, there were a lot of aborted projects, ideas that went nowhere (what else is new?).. Right now, writing is both my professional and personal life. I'm very passionate about it, and I haven't ever really stopped doing it. I'm lucky to get to write for a living, though fiction isn't what pays the bills. The thing this question makes me think about is how weird it feels to write about kinks, especially if I'm also doing other kinds of writing professionally. For instance, I've gotten some work published in furry fiction anthologies more recently, and it's funny how my non-erotic writing makes me rethink how I'm writing kink and erotica. Kink is a whole genre, and it has a specificity, in terms of what gets emphasized, and how it gets executed from a technical standpoint. And it comes with a unique set of challenges.
You're also an artist in addition to being a writer! Seeing how you're a double threat, one must ask how long you've been drawing for and if you have a preference between types of art. Do you prefer writing or do you believe your true talents are hidden in your drawings?
I'm a bit of an odd duck, in that my FA account wasn't really about writing for a long time. A few years ago, I started drawing diaper stuff again because it was helping me cope with some stress and anxiety during a difficult time in my life. At the time, I didn't do kink writing, because I was trying to compartmentalize my work life and my hobbies. But when it comes to visual art, I'm really an amateur. I personally think my writing is where my real skill set is, even if it's hit or miss with my style. It's what I do professionally, and I feel more confident with it. With writing, I know what tools I have in my tool-belt, and how to use them, and I feel more confident experimenting; whereas with drawing I always feel like I'm groping in the dark for a light switch, feeling the wall until I find it. So right now I'm trying to focus more on writing, though that doesn't mean I'm done with drawing. In the future, I want to bring the two interests together more. For instance, I'd like to do stories with illustrations.
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Excellent answers! I myself actually assumed the existence of diaper fetishism before I looked it up in my early teen years, but that didn't mean that I, like many other ABDLs, didn't struggle for a while internally about just how uncommon and far from the norm such a fetish is. Although you seemed to have the great luck to have found another who shared your particular interests! Continuing on with the questions!
Following up on your discovery of your diaper fetish, what would you say was the biggest challenge to accepting this particular part of you and do you have any wisdom to share with our readers that you gleaned that might help anybody else who is struggling?
This is a tough one. I wish I could say I've gotten over the embarrassment and the self-consciousness. But it comes back now and again. The biggest challenge is anxiety. I sometimes don't let myself enjoy myself because it dredges up all sorts of weird fears (and they're really abstract - "someone will find out!" but I never know who in particular I'm afraid of). I don't know if I have a lot of good wisdom or advice. I think instead of saying "don't be ashamed" (which is helpful, but it's been said)what might also need to be said is "it's okay to feel ashamed or anxious sometimes." But what's important is knowing that shame doesn't last forever. It does go away.
You mentioned that you read a lot about sexual science for your job, do you have any particularly interesting revelations or discoveries that you think everybody should know about sexuality or fetishes?
A lot of what I read is older and more historical, so I don't have a lot of useful knowledge about sexual science today. But here are some interesting snapple cap facts: the earliest mention of a diaper fetish I've read about was a study of gay men's sexuality from the 30s, which included one straight guy (for weird reasons having to do with the way gays were classified by these scientists) who had all kinds of kinks, including diapers, cross-dressing, soiled underwear, what have you. It must have been cloth ones that did it for him, because they didn't have disposable diapers back then. The word "infantilism" isn't that new. It pops up in some older materials from the late 1800s, but it didn't always mean what it means now. As far as I can tell, the word used to indicate underdevelopment of sex organs, and not a desire to act little. I don't know when it came to mean what it means now, but I know that John Money had some work published on it in the 80s, and he might have been the one to coin "paraphilic infantilism," but I'm not positive about that. But if he did, that's pretty interesting, since he was also the sexual scientist most associated with the invention of the concept of gender identity, as we know it today.
Anyway what I've mainly learned is that sexuality is really complicated, and I'm generally very skeptical of any simplistic explanation of "how it works" (what does that even mean? and for whom?). I don't think it's totally mystical either. But it's also way more unruly than most would think - though I think that can only be obvious to folks like us, right?
And additionally, do you have any other sexual fetishes that you enjoy indulging in besides infantilism or ABDLism?
Oh god, way too many. I'm a sub and a little bit of a masochist, and most of my kinks revolve around fantasies of losing power. Bathroom kinks are there to a certain extent, though I prefer involving diapers when I can. Micro/macro and transformation fantasies also get peppered in sometimes. Scent play as well. All of these kind of bleed together. I got a lot more kinks when I became a furry.
On the subject of drawing, have you taken any classes or other major strides in wanting to meet your dreams of becoming adept at drawing?
I have not been a diligent practitioner when it comes to art. For the last year, I've been pouring all my time and effort into honing my writing craft, and that's involved a lot of experimenting, trying and failing, sometimes banging my head against the desk. But I do want to draw again, and I know that I need to practice to get better. I'd say a big goal of mine is to start making stories with illustrations, maybe even offer some commissions with the option to include an illustration for an additional rate. But it's very labor intensive. Comics are another way to combine the two.
And the last question in this particular batch, are there any other authors or writers in the diaper fetish story scene that you particularly admire?
Oh yes, absolutely. Let's see. I think Tank's writing has always been an inspiration for me. He does these really realistic relationships that incorporate kink in a beautiful and tender way. Gordo does really good work too, particularly for gay humiliation themed stories - and he does illustrations! I'd be remiss to not mention Toddlergirl, who's been making content for years now. I think Found is an important, widely read comic, and Shine is really good aswell. I also like Immelman's work - she's one of those rare artists and writers who does it all - both erotica and more mainstream genre writing, multiple kinks, writing, layout, illustration. I admire all of these writers. But I also want to say that I know there's a lot of talent out there I haven't been exposed to, because writers are just less visible, not just in abdl, but in the furry community more broadly. I desperately want to read more, and I have a real interest in producing and promoting quality kink writing. Which is part of why I like this interview series so much. I'm learning about so many writers I never knew about before. And I want to see it thrive. I have this weird, naive fantasy about seeing a babyfur or diaper-kink themed anthology of fiction in print some day.
Here are the links to the artists:
Tank: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/tank-/
Gordo: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/gordo/
Toddlergirl: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/toddlergirl/
Immelman: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/immelmann/
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Moving along once more into stories focused more on your writing in particular, can you tell us about a story you wrote that you are particularly proud of and why you feel strongly about it?
Hi! Thanks again for your continued patience. I appreciate all the work you're doing on this.
A story I feel proud of... hmm. The first successful diaper story I wrote was "Trickle," and I think that one still holds up. It's a cyberpunk-themed story, and it features DisparityBit's character, Argon, a diaper-dependent hacker-badger with a cybernetic arm and a level of social awkwardness that's impossible not to love. I wanted to write a character who would play off his personality, so I wrote Dana, a flirtatious mercenary mouse with a detachable cock. The story is about a brief fling these two have while Dana hires Argon to crack his rival's bank account. The tone was meant to be a little gritty, but also very tender-hearted. As far as fetish stuff is concerned, especially compared to my other stuff, it's tame. There are diapers of course. But I really wanted to make it about the characters, and even when I'm writing something more kinky, that's always been my approach. Dana is one of the few characters I still care about, and I still want to do something with him (I tried to make him the star of a serialized kink novel, but the project wasn't working and so I scrapped it).
Looking at it again, I'm surprised by how little I'd change. Though there are a few things. I don't like the flashback, and I'm trying to get better about choosing when and when not to use these. Other than that, the biggest issue I have with this one is the prose, because I was a little more self-indulgent with my adverbs and metaphors back then. There are a few passages that make me cringe if I read them. But I'm told that's normal. Is it? I hope so. I've gotten a lot more spare with my language since then. Getting rejected in the submission rounds a few times has changed my sentences a lot, for good or for ill. But I think what hasn't changed is my approach - I think every story asks something different from me, in terms of character, style, the kind of kinks and plots I'm working with. And I try to make my prose do what the project needs, rather than develop any one clear "style."
Was there ever a point where you found yourself being commissioned by someone who wished you to write something that you didn't feel comfortable with? If so, can you tell us how you went about such an issue?
Surprisingly, I haven't yet been asked to write anything for which I've given a hard no. I'm pretty clear up front about what I won't write, and those hard limits are non-negotiable. Nobody's ever asked for those. But discomfort is another thing. Some things make me uncomfortable, but I write them anyway - because it's not the kink itself that makes me uncomfortable, but the fear that I might write it in a way that I'm not proud of, or which misses the mark for the client. I'm into a lot, and I find that, with most kinks, there's something I like about it, and I try to make that the inspiration. But the challenge is execution. There are lots of "edge" kinks that might come up in my stuff - dubious/non-consent, power disparity, mental regression, hypnosis, and so on. But the challenge with these, for me, is that I want to write them in away that makes them erotic, and not violent. Or if it's violent, to make it erotic violence, and not discursive violence.
I think that's always what scares me, the idea of doing it wrong, or of making someone who's reading it uncomfortable. But then you can never control how people react. Recently, I got a comment on a diaper TF story that was something along the lines of "This is disgusting. Burn in hell, faggot!" What was so weird about it was that they read it. Like this person saw the tags on the icon (which were pretty clear), clicked on the story, and then had to read far enough to actually get to the disgusting stuff, which was at least a thousand words in. A part of me likes to think they read the whole thing. So I was oddly proud of that comment. Sure, it was an absolutely disgusting story - it really was, in all my favorite ways. But at least the prose was readable.
Have you found any particular method of 'getting your writing out there' that was most effective? Would you be willing to share how you discovered such a method?
Gee, I wish. I'm terrible at marketing my own writing, whether it's my kink fiction or my general-audience furry fiction. I'm very new to both, but I don't out the stories fast enough for people to know my name. I've recently started a Twitter for my ABDL writing, and that's been a fun place to try out some micro-fiction, which I've learned is super popular on that platform. But I still have no idea how to get my work out there. My recent story raffle drummed up some interest, but it means producing free writing, which, well, is always a challenge.
I'm hoping my next project will be something people really love, and I plan on getting the message out on a few platforms. Do you use SoFurry? I wonder if there's much ABDL writing on there. I've been thinking of starting one myself.
What do you find to be the most challenging part of writing in your own personal experience?
I'm a bad drafter and a good editor, which is unfortunate, because drafting is the part I need to do first. I have trouble focusing on getting drafts done without pausing to edit my own prose, which every professional writer is told me is a big no-no. But I'm getting better at that. The bigger hurdle to overcome has been the emotional one - learning to feel okay with what I've written, and not to let myself fall into a slump when something's not working, or beat myself up about it. It's largely an exercise in teaching myself how to break big problems into smaller ones, and to decide which problems are more important, and fix them in the right order. Because when I'm drafting, it feels like everything is going wrong at once. It's a massive tornado of shit and I'm clinging for dear life to the cow circling around it. But eventually it gets better. It becomes a mild hurricane of shit, and then that becomes a light shower. This is a bad metaphor but I'm sticking with it.
And lastly, something fun, do you currently indulge yourself actively in your own 'little space' and if so, what is your favorite part of such an activity?
Haha. I'm more of a DL than an AB, but I do enjoy littlespace every so often. My favorite is when I can carve out an evening to myself, and I get diapered, wear a onesie, and veg out with some really mindless video game while I fill up my padding. That's probably my favorite little activity. As far as the DL side of things go, the activities are a little... dirtier. But still fun. Seldom are my real life kink activities as intense as the ones I write about. Writing and drawing are great ways of indulging in fantasy, and sometimes I've explored those fantasies in reality (the ones that are possible anyway), and in general, I've had fun. I'm not ashamed of what I'm into. But not everything is possible, and for those things, I write.
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Horatio:
Oh wow, first time an interviewee has asked me a question! Yes, I use Furaffinity, Sofurry, Wattpad, and Deviantart to upload all of my stories and I've got some stuff on Weasyl and Inkbunny just to get people from those platforms to go to my main galleries from there, I don't really post much on the last two and most likely will only post my more popular works or entire collections of chapters at once. I first started on Wattpad actually with "Scott's Remote", and once I realized that I was getting some pretty good feedback I began to expand a lot!
Paper_Paws:
That's great! I definitely want to expand the platforms I'm using so I can get more of my fiction out there. It's been a bit tricky, what with managing different pen names and different accounts. Social media and furry media are really complex - and I feel I'm very bad at navigating them, though I'm learning.
Horatio:
I'm absolutely loving your answers to all of my questions! I'm sure our readers will very much enjoy the rest of this interview after such in depth answers, continuing right along!
Your fursona! Tell us why you chose him, how he came about, how long you've had him, and if he means anything particularly special to you! Bonus points if you tell us if he has any major personality difference from IRL you!
My fursona is a rabbit, and he dates back as far as my first boyfriend, who was the one to suggest it. I've identified with rabbits since then. I appreciate the associations we have with them - small, cute, maybe submissive. Then again, I'm also interested in breaking what I guess you might call species stereotypes in my fiction, so I like rabbits because they can also be strong, brave, etc. My own sona has gone through a couple re-designs. He's actually about due for another one, once I figure out where it's going. I was thinking of adding cyborg parts (because everybody loves drawing those, right?)
Do you have any advice for any new ABDL/ Diaperfurry/ Babyfur writers out there trying to start up their own stories and perhaps even to be commissioned?
I think the advice I would give to a new ABDL writer is the advice I would give to any new writer. Emotionally: don't give up, everybody fails, everybody gets rejected; some stories don't get favs, some do, and it isn't always about quality. Mechanically: use fancy dialogue tags sparingly for effect, go easy on the adjectives and adverbs, use short sentences in between long ones, use a "when" clause every so often,, give us characterization through action and dialogue, not just through description - the list of writing aphorisms goes on and on, and most of them are more like guidelines than rules.
Maybe this is what I'd add, specifically for abdl. This is my opinion, and not all will share it, but sometimes, when it comes to description, less is more. The biggest reason I stop reading a piece of diaper fiction is the style of writing. I'm sensitive to indulgent prose, usually in a moment of description. I am guilty of this myself, and there are times when I can't even read my own writing for that reason. The other reason I typically stop is if the opening doesn't grab me. I think a good technique for any writer is to begin again after you've written everything. I mean, not rewrite the whole story, but rewrite the opening once you know where everything's going. Often, the real opening is a few paragraphs after where I started the draft.
Is there a story that you've written that you identify most with or you believe you have written yourself into the most?
To be honest, I've never written my own fursona into a story, partly because I typically create characters as one-shots based on the needs of the project. I have written characters with whom I identify (Dana is an example) but I think I also find ways of seeing myself in a lot of the characters I write, so they end up being both me and not me at the same time.
Are there any big projects coming up in the future that you'd like to drop a teaser for?
I'm actually really excited about an upcoming graphic novelette that I'm working on with Small_Circles. We don't have a title yet, or much detail about it, except that we're aiming to tell a story about a realistic ABDL relationship that develops over the course of the narrative. The story will be set at a university - I joked with Cirky that maybe we're just rewriting ISB, and we laughed because we're actually going for just the opposite in terms of tone. We're trying to tell a story that's a little more serious about its characters and setting. We want to tell a story that gay ABDL boys could relate to, about the challenges and fears that come with the uncharted territory of a new relationship. Oh, and diapers.
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What's something you look for personally when reading other ABDL/fetish/fanfics? Is there a particular style of writing, a particular inclusion of detail, or a particular theme that you enjoy?
The biggest thing I look for is vivid imagery, and the second is stylistic readability. The two often go hand in hand, since imagery is a stylistic balancing act. Too many adjectives, for example, can make something less descriptive, not more. Modulating the sentence length can make images and sensations stronger, which is important for kink writing, since kink is so very sensual. I also really like defined characters. I think furry writers are often very good at character, though one thing I really enjoy, and hope to see more of, is writing that privileges a particular character's point of view. I like to see a third person story where a character's thoughts and speech habits flow through the narration. Some writers like to separate inner monologue from narration using italics, and that's a fine technique too (I feel like it became a whole rule at some point, like in the 2000s or something). I tend to use the opposite strategy, which is not separating inner monologue from narration at all, so that the character weaves in and out. But in general, what I like to see in furry writing, and in kink writing, is narration that makes the character's inner life and sensory experience front and center.
What about regular, vanilla authors. Are there any particular books or writers that you're a big fan of?
In furry fiction more broadly, I'd have to cite Kyell Gold as a real inspiration for me, as well as other Furry Writers Guild members who are really producing high quality fiction, of whom there are too many to name. But I would single out Huksyteer, Ursula Vernon/T. Kingfisher and Chipotle Coyote as examples of the really serious writing being done in the fandom right now, though there's obviously so much more. Aside from that, I'm a big sci-fi reader. Lately I've been really excited about John Scalzi's interdependency series, as well as some more classic stuff that I've been consuming from folks like Samuel Delany and Ursula K. Le Guin (I was devastated to learn of her passing earlier this year). I've always been a big cyberpunk fan, and at some point I want to go back and finish some more of William Gibson's work. I have a habit of reading only one book from each of his trilogies and forgetting to read the rest. Neal Stephenson is also a big inspiration. I finished Seveneves recently, and I liked much of it, though I beg him to write a shorter book someday.
Besides writing, are there any other particular hobbies that you enjoy indulging yourself in?
I love to ride roller coasters. To be honest, I'm basically a theme park junkie. I went on a road trip to Texas earlier this year, and rode about 24 coasters. I'd like my next trip to be to Ohio, land of some truly legendary theme parks. I'm also a semi-avid gamer, though my gaming time has had to take a serious hit because of all the writing projects I've taken on recently. My favorite kind of games are epic-single player long-form rpg's. I particularly like Jrpgs like the Final Fantasy and Tales of series. I'm also a big Pokemon nerd. Though, what's funny to me is that I've never written a pokemon themed kink story.
And lastly, this is your chance to plug whatever you would like our readers to know. Whether it be about a story you're writing or that you're just open for commissions, this is your chance to send whatever message you would like to our audience!
I'd like to re-mention the graphic story I'm working on with Cirky, which is rapidly taking the form of a graphic novel or comic series (we're not sure which). This is still in development, but we want to have our first issue/chapter out by end-of-summer. We're working out final story details right now, and moving on to script production and story boarding soon. We really could not be more excited for these characters.
Thanks very much for taking the time and effort to correspond with me, and for writing these questions.
Thank you so much for participating in this interview with me! It has been most interesting to hear what you have to say and hear the wisdom that you have to share!
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Follow Paper_Paws on Twitter: https://twitter.com/paper_paws
Check out his stories on FA: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/paperpaws/
If you'd like to read more interviews such as these, be sure to give me a watch on FurAffinity, Sofurry, Deviantart, or Wattpad, and follow me on Twitter @horatiohusky.
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/horatiohusky/
https://horatio-husky.sofurry.com/
https://www.deviantart.com/horatiohusky
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