"Sometimes lust is a very painful thing to hold, little brother, sometimes it can destroy you just because you don't have anything else to offer it. If anything, lust is like a pimp for whores." I still here my big brother ramble on and on about how the world is a very fearful place and how love truly doesn't exist, but I knew better; I knew something was out there that he wasn't letting me know. My story first started back to my birth on December 13, everything felt so cold first appearing into the world, and all was different from what i would imagine in my past; they were watching me, but I didn't know they were watching me at all. Inside my body, curses started to form the second I took my first breath, resulting me to never forget anything that has ever happened to me. That is how I got to here:

    "Kendren, don't do anything stupid, looking for him won't bring you joy, he only knows how to destroy!" I hear my big brother screaming in my ear; yes, I still remember that day. It was raining outside, and my father just left away from us in a deeply staining anger. Me and my dad were never close, but I would've never thought he would leave because I was gay. Damnit, I was only 7, there is so much I still have to learn. He didn't what to see him to do that to that; I know that angered him for my father, Michael to just get up and leave, and that's where everything started changing for us.

I was quick to reach into one of the drawers, and pull out a knife. I wanted to hurt him so badly for abandoning me, but instead, I started laughing, then crying with the laugh, forcing the knife away from me. My brother Kambran just looked down at me so worried about me, but I knew he was feeling so much pain as I was, such didn't surprise me when he spoke saying, "Get your useless ass up," because he didn't want to crying over spilled milk. He hugged me from behind, keeping me close and comforting me as I began screaming with my cries. He understood I lost a part of my heart, that I was wounded. The thing about wounded animals: You can basically help them, hurt them, or leave them there alone and let chance take them away. Kambran, he understood that I was hurt and defended my body as I had to begin my healing processes.

 "We don't need him anymore, little brother, I finally get to share this moment with you, the time where you start to seek waht you truly are. Whatever you become, little guy, just know I will always love you and I won't try to change who you are. You have made me the proudest brother in the world for you, and I know mother would feel the same if she was here to see you. Come to me, we must rest for school tomorrow." My heart completely fainted when he left me, but my brother was right, it was time to move on to other things, I had a life to live and if he wasn't going to be there for it, it would be his loss, but only it was really that easy... I always thought if I kept my feelings about my father deep inside of me, I would never have to deal with him in the future. But I will always wonder: How powerful is the absence of one man?