A Lead Crown Contribution: Scars and Wounds

Why am I doing this?, I asked myself once again as I made my way through the seas of bodies the newest unveiling had attracted to the UPU, the place was packed with aristocrats, merchants, scholars, professors and the odd guard here and there; a myriad of species and mixed breeds gathered in one place for the sake of watching one of the biggest projects the UPU had undertaken since its creation, but there was no sing of the person I was looking for, the annoying, arrogant and exasperating human who I was trying to help for some unknown reason that I had yet to find about, why am I even bothering with this? He's just going to ignore all of my warnings, accuse me of sabotaging his projects and then blame me if something does go wrong, just like he has been doing for a year now.

That simple thought hit me with a pang of sorrow that had been haunting me since the day of the accident, a sorrow I had thought I had overcome yet it always came when I was down to remind me it was all my fault, the same kind of sorrow that I felt when my grandma died because of me, this was all my fault after all; I stopped dead in my tracks, fighting the threatening feeling of depression that was starting to build inside me, I have no time for this, focus Roland, he has to be around here somewhere, who would have though finding a human could be so difficult, especially when I encounter him everywhere I go.

It took a few minutes before I gathered my self and keep on looking for him, and by then I had already given up on trying to pick up his scent, with so many persons around here there was no way I could find him like that, let alone the fact that he must have walked around this place about a dozen times today, so I resigned myself to find him in the old-fashioned and tedious way while I tried my best to lock away the sorrow and guilt.

It was about half an hour later that I finally spotted him a couple of stories above me near an unlucky guard, Shew seemed to be mad about something, not that it showed much, being scholars we were taught that appearances help fund the projects, but I had already learned to notice the signs: his skin turned red, his brow furrowed slightly and he started to wave his hands around more than usual, though I could only pick out the last one from my position.

I could only feel pity for the poor guy that had to deal with his famous temper, especially since I had been the target of that temper more times than I could count and there were many broken vials, chairs, windows and lab equipment to prove it, though the guard seemed to be able to handle Shew, a feat few were able to accomplish, just like I was able to do before the accident, since then... things had turned from a simple misunderstanding to an all-out war, we could barely tolerate to be in the same room and all the professors had learn to keep us as far apart as they could.

I still remembered how it all got started, the events that unfolded about a year ago, the ones that ended with me losing my best and most interesting friend, replacing him with an unyielding resent and a never ending guilt.

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``That's simply not possible´´ said the smaller human walking by my side with a grace that was unusual in a person with his condition ``there's no way you could put that into practice´´

``Why not?´´ I replied as we kept walking down the hall ``If we can find the appropriate way to control the reactions and ensure its durability we would have a stronger material to work with´´

``Even if you did find such a way, there's a fairly big risk involved in it,´´ Shew explained, taking that professor-like tone of his´´ the end product could be faulty due to the conditions you would likely expose it to, or the machine could blow up due to all the energy released´´

``But if we apply the techniques Professor Telfard explained last time, that could be overcome, besides that there are already a lot of earth scholars working on that problem.´´ I said, getting annoyed at his stubbornness, I swear he could be the most stressing human I've ever met.

``Then you SHOULD know that all attempts have failed so far´´ he said, his tone was loud enough to turn a few heads in our direction, not that he would notice.

``But there's still a possibility for it to be done,´´ I defended myself, not willing to let him win this time `` we just need to resolve some minor problem, which can be done if we use Professor Milhoy's Theory ´´

``His theory has yet to be proved on such conditions,´´ He replied matter of factly, ``and yet you're trying to apply it in what could become the biggest explosion in the history of the UPU, even bigg-´´

``And so says our resident explosion expert´´ I interrupted him, shoving him with just enough force to make him stumble a bit ``Don't worry, I'll never take that tittle from you´´

``Like you haven't ever had an accident before... how about that time where you set your tail on fire, oh that WAS funny´´

``I didn't set my tail on fire...it just got a little burned´´ I told him, feeling a mix of shame and anger, the memory was still fresh on my mind, that had been a bad day to be covered in fur and be next to flammable substances.

Things went on like this for a while, both of us talking in a strange friendly yet passionate debate we weren't willing to lose, by the time we reached our destination, one of the labs in the UPU we had been assigned for this term, we had already come to a dead point in the debate, but that did nothing to stop Shew from vehemently trying to prove his point, almost driving me crazy with his insistence until I begrudgingly admitted my defeat, obviously making Shew's day if his smile was anything to go by, and we took a seat at our usual place.

Giving the place a quick once over, I noticed it was mostly empty except for a few furs that were already talking amongst themselves, glaring at us with eyes full of hatred and...envy? The latter was certainly a new one, since I came into the city I had gotten quite my share of hateful glances from purists and some of the less savory peers, but I was sure I hadn't done anything to get the last one, or at least nothing I knew of.

By the time the class started I had already forgotten about the whole thing, instead I focused on making some small talk with Shew while I helped him with some lab procedures he still had problems with, but I didn't mind about it a bit, though I could see that Shew did, for a person with his condition he was far too independent for his own good, in fact, he had gotten himself in his share of trouble just for that thing, and I had to admit that it was quite funny to watch him as he did so, especially when I could pick on him a little, like all good friends do.

The rest of the class went in its usual calmed way, with this I mean there were some explosions here and there, accompanied by a few sneers, damn-it's and other curses, but nothing serious enough to require a trip to the water scholars, fortunately, some of those ladies could be very...heartless when they had too much work thrown upon them.

There was only one thing that caught us off guard, only one little yet incredibly upsetting thing, at least for us, and that was Professor Mallorne giving some of us an impromptu assignment due to next month, because, in his words, ``You are showing an extraordinary progress that is calling for bigger challenges and it would be a pity not to make the best out of it, if you succeed, there's a chance you can join in the UPU's newest project´´, I didn't know if he really meant that or he just wanted to see his best studentes in action, but those simple words unleashed a mayhem in our lives. The following days were spent planning, researching and doing numerous trips to the lab for testing, I was eternally thankful that we were given some time out of our usual schedule just for this.

During that time I barely saw Shew, not that I blame him as I spent so much time working on my own project as everyone else, yet there was that feeling of emptiness that I had grown used to lately, both of us were completely captured by our work, I knew that Shew was going to go overboard this time, he was just like that, I wouldn't be surprised if he came up with something that no one else had thought of, but I was going to give it my best shot too, it was way too good of a chance to let it slid by.

The days went by one by one, and with each passing day I saw Shew less, soon I could only catch glimpses of him here and there if I was lucky, it was something I didn't know how to feel about, should I be happy for him trying so hard, sad for never getting a chance to talk, rejected for being avoided, angry at his single mindedness, lonely...it was hard to know, and it only got harder when I remembered how we used to spend hours and hours just talking, enjoying each other company...it was hard.

When the time for presenting our projects finally came around I was excited, Professor Mallorne had called to other professor of different specialties to act as judges for the 15 projects that he had assigned, and to be honest, I wasn't so sure I could go against them, especially shew's, his was by far one of the most likely to win, it was an amalgam of simplicity and functionality, something that no one had ever tried to do before but now that it existed it was so easy to reach that conclusion, compared to mine, his was the better choice.

By the time the professors started to evaluate I had recovered some of my self-confidence, there was a good chance that both Shew and I would make it, the others projects were good, but they still lacked something, something that I couldn't describe but I knew that they lacked it. One by one the projects were checked, some failing and some becoming big successes, and soon enough came Shew's turn, I could see the incredulity in the professors' faces, that happened often when people met him, but I knew that there was more to him than that, and I prayed to the Gods and Goddesses that he would do well. It all went amazingly good, his explanation and theories were superb with a few minor flaws but nothing too bad, but, that didn't last, when the time came to put it into practice things changed drastically n a matter of seconds, just as his gadget was about to finish its process a malfunction hit it, and then before any of us could do anything a part of it exploded, nothing too serious, but it still took a good part of his invention with it, leaving the table it was on covered in little metallic and plastic pieces of what once been an ingenious gadget.

The rest of the competition passed like a blur to me, even when it was my turn to shine, I was thinking of the downcast and dejected expression Shew had, I felt bad for him, he had seemed so confident that he was going to win, and now he looked broken, all because of an unexpected and damnable malfunction, I had to stand by my project the whole time, counting the minutes until I could go and comfort my friend, but that time never came, once I was free to roam around Shew had already gone Gods knows where, and not even the realization that I had made it second made me feel better about it.

I spent the rest of the day looking for Shew in every place I thought of, but I never found him, worry filled me and I could barely sleep that night. It was the next day when I finally got to talk to him, he looked haggard and tired, making me wonder what he had done, that day was the only one I could remember seeing him like that and no matter what I did the most I could get was a saddened smile. I felt bad for him, and nothing could have changed what I did next. The rest of the week I spent trying to fidure out what had failed in his procedure, looking over the broken parts of his machine that led no clues

It wasn't until the third day that I found out the reason, as if chance had it, I overheard Lenny, the smallest swam in class, speaking to his friends, kelly and opus, a shark and a money about how he his plan had failed, how he had altered some of the pieces in the last moment to every other project to make sure he won, in that moment I had found what I was looking for, yet I couldn't do anything to change it, not now that he had his friends around, not it would have to wait until he was alone.

I followed him around as stealthy as I could, waiting until there was no one else around, and after 3 hours of watching I found the perfect moment to act as he got into an alley that led directly to the market, in a moment's notice I got behind him, he had barely time to turn around when I started ``questioning´´ him, my fist repeatedly hitting him as I made him spill the beams, but the bastard was lucky and managed to hit me n the stomach, knocking the wind out of me for a few seconds that he used to escape. At the time I didn't care, my bloodlust and the pain didn't led me think of anything else.

I had to wait for a few minutes until I regained my breath, and when I did my only thought was about giving Shew the good news, I didn't think of anything else, deluding myself with how he was going to get angry at the guy but probably would get over it after a while.

Unfortunately nothing like that happen, instead when I found him in one of the labs I was met with an angry Shew, one that was angry at me, I didn't managed to get a word out of my mouth when one vial crashed right where my head had been, quickly followed by others unlucky lab intruments that quickly met their end, I was confused, and once I got covered behind a makeshift barricade I tried to talk to him, to explain him what happened, but he ignored me and instead called me a traitor, a false friend and a feral animal.

After that I don't quite remember what happened but I DO know that some of the guards had to break us apart, our little conflict almost managed to throw us out of the UPU and only our remarkably good records made the difference. But things didn't get better between us, they actually got worse, up to the point that it was common knowledge that we HAD to be apart from each other in any and all instances, I know that some would think that this wasn't my fault, ut no matter what I do, the guilt still haunts me every day, even today when one of the biggest inventions is going to be made public.

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It took me about five minutes to get where Shew was, by then the guard, who I recognized as Eric, had managed to calm him down some, but I knew that wouldn't last long....no, it never did when I was around, he was always angry near me, always blaming me for something I didn't do and not caring to hear any of my explanations, that was Shew, a real bastard when he wanted to, but he wasn't the only one who could play like that.

``Roland, fancy to see you here´´ said Eric in a polite tone, but his eyes betrayed his disappointment at meeting me, most likely due to the fact that he would have to play the third man. ``I thought you were assigned elsewhere´´

``Eric, Joshew´´ I acknowledge with the most formal tone I could muster, but still mustering enough venom for the latter.

``Roland Silverfang´´ Shew practically growled in my direction, his voice showing his immense anger towards me better than any painting or equation could have, his fist clenching at his sides while a worried Eric seemed to be ready to act at a moment's notice, after all he had been witness of a few fights between us.

``I just keep running into you, don't I?´´ I replied, barely managing to keep what little restraint I had together and focus on my task.

``A shame you don't watch where I'm going, hmm?´´ he said with such arrogance that made me want to punch him in the face like he deserved, but before I could Eric got between the two of us.

``Stop ,both of you´´ Eric said while his hands kept us apart, his voice was low but full of authority `` Remember where we are, if anyone of the sponsors leave because of you two, you may as well stay away from the UPU´´

``Then you should go and train Roland like a proper dog´´ Shew sneered, the finest trace of a smirk crossing his face.

``But who would train you then Shew?´´´I replied, willing to show him two can play the same game.

``That's enough´´ said Eric as loud as he dared to, shooting us both a killer glare `` You're making a scene, so you better cool off, right now´´

``Fine´´ Shew and I said at the same time to my utter annoyance, but I did my best to kept my mouth shut...for the time being.

``Now Roland, ´´ Eric said, his eyes taking into a gentler look ``Did you need something?´´

``You mean besides a better aptitude?´´ Shew replied with a sarcastic edge on his voice.

``Yeah,´´ I told him at once, disregarding Shew's comments ``I think the Albatross is going to be sabotaged´´