Shortly after our “face-to-face”, we did it soon to see again both. But most of the time, we were with our respective groups, so it was not really the best time. So, to mark the occasion, he invited me to his house.

On the occasion, I learned a lot of stuff about him. As I suspected it, Lucas didn’t really know his Chinese origins because he was born and grew up in France (all like me who don’t know much about Japan.) Like what, the chance permits funny coincidences.

It’s especially here I learned more about his little problem, at least, his biggest problem: he has a low self-esteem due to his body. After many observations, I found the term excessive, but I heard him without criticizing. Myself, I already knew this feeling, but I will talk you about this soon.

Little, he often has rejected. Teen, he’s done anything to hide this “unpleasant physical”. As a result, he admits being very scrupulous about his weight, and he tried to lose weight in every possible way: sport, diets and the list go on. Well, here, nothing unusual, it can happen to anyone. But I quickly saw go a lot further that I thought.

About this, I tell him not to worry about it. With a faint sigh, he asked me to wait him and slipped away. You could feel he takes upon himself for telling me his issue. Frankly, a boy like him shouldn’t worry about such details.

Ten minutes have passed, and he was still not back. What the hell was he doing? It was stronger than me, so I went to see what the devil was he doing.

“Err… Lucas?”

“Yes, yes, I’m almost finished.”

So, I was on my way where the sound of his voice is coming from. Thus, I found myself in front of a closed door, probably that of his room.

“Can I open?”

“Wait a little more, please, I’m almost done.”

At this moment, I admit he began to hack me off (to stay polite.) If really one thing I hate, it’s to make me wait without knowing why. Maybe I have a lot of nerve, but what do you want? “You’ll forgive me my little Luc, but you kept me waiting enough.” I thought by opening the door.

So, Lucas throws me one “Hey!” of irritation, by turning around. In fact, he was busy and stripped to the waist… “Oh zounds!” I exclaimed myself.

Following my reaction, his eyes were between confusion and laughing.

“Pardon?”

“Yes, I suppose it’s been a long time you haven’t heard this expression.”

“Yes, in fact. Otherwise, why don’t you stay in the living room?”

“I don’t like to keep me waiting.”

“As a result, how are you doing when you’re in a line?”

“Well, either I try to overtake, either I hit the road.”

He threw one of these giggles; buddy, I never heard this. Out of breath, he finished to answer: “You’re incredible, I learn a different one on you every day”. He laughed at me.

“Yeah, meh…”

Clearly, I need to learn to not be so impatient. Then, I glimpsed a tape measure on his hand and a notebook on his bed. He was just writing evolution of his curve.

“So, you were really serious when you told me you took your measurements.”

“Yes, and I remind myself I don’t do it yet today.”

Since he is always stripped to the waist, I take the opportunity to see him better. Certainly, his belly is tubby but really, it was borderline. Also, I didn’t see his sculpted arms, which contrasts much with all the rest. Otherwise, any doubt possible, Lucas is really my type of guy… if only I could touch him.

“Can I know what you are looking at here?”

“Well… err… you insist on the fact you are “fat” but… err… now that I see you… yes, you’re plumpish but it’s not that bad.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, you are gorgeous just the way you are.”

“Oh… thanks… err… I… I haven’t heard it much.”

“Happy to be the first one, so.”

He seemed flattered even if he wouldn’t show it. It’s rather cute, I would like to hold him in my arms.

“Listen, you shouldn’t worry about those kinds of details.”

“I know but it’s stronger than me, it must be a kind of tick.”

“And you never talked about it round you?”

“Not really, I even think you are the only one who I told the most… regarding… this subject.”

“However, we just met both.”

“Maybe but with you, I feel I can speak about everything without judgment.”

Aw, he’s so cute, I really want to hug him.

“Listen, I suggest you one play on a game I discovered a short time ago, just to switch off. You follow him?”

“Yeah, it works. Just, Lucas?”

“Yes?”

“Do you intend to stay stripped to the waist?”

“Oh, err… I could have but I will not today.”

“Ah, you reassure me.”

He put his sweater on again, and he’s on his way towards the living room. But I’m holding him back, I had one more thing to tell him.

“Lucas?”

“Hmmm?”

“Excuse me if I’m insisted on…”

“No, it’s okay, I’m not mad at you.”

“Alright. Otherwise, you… you don’t have to worry about your appearance and much less, what others think.  You are as you are so, learn to appreciate yourself, ignore the critics and you will see it’ll all be a lot better. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about.”

By then, I already could sense the retort coming. But without warning, he took me in his arms. He heard me thank me with a muffled voice, he might shed a few tears. Staying mute, I gave him his embrace. Finally, I got it, my hug.

No, honestly, I was happy for him. He might keep all this resentment for so long that everything has finished by coming out finally. So, the best, it’s to let him go and get rid of all this pain. Myself, I have known very well this feeling. Sooner or later, I knew it would be my turn talking to him about it.