Several Years Ago

It's been several days after I've killed the king and all his knights for murdering Eric, and right now I'm back in the dragon city after that happened. Staying at my uncle's place. Laying on a pile of furs in one of his rooms.

Not very long after I've shown up, most of the dragons who knew Eric came to me and they were surprised that he wasn't with me.

Sadly, I told everyone what happened to him, that he's dead. They were all shocked, especially my best friend, the magenta dragoness who owns the Braveheart in the city, and my uncle. They all thought that me and Eric would be together forever. But they never expected this to happen. I didn't either.

I never told anyone what happened after Eric died. That I went to the king who murdered Eric in cold blood. That I'VE killed him.

I never told anyone this. They didn't have to live with the guilt.

Guilty for not saving Eric. 

I couldn't save him and it's my fault. And I thought that killing the king and his knights for killing Eric would make feel me better, that it would make the guilt wash away.

But all it did was made it worse. I've...Killed all those humans in cold blood, and for what? Just to think I would bring Eric back by doing that?

No...It won't bring him back and the guilt won't go away. It'll never go away!

It's my fault and I'll never forgive myself.

I looked down at my paw and stared at Eric's crystal pendant. I've never let it go. It's....The only thing that's left of him.

Tears started to form in my eyes and I shut my eyes tight.

Eric...I'm so sorry.

I didn't save you and it's all MY fault.

And I became a monster, because I've went on a killing rampage. And I thought the guilt would go away.

I thought killing the king who ruined your life would go away! And it never did!

I'm a monster...A murdering, cold, heartless monster.

I didn't give the king any mercy, and that's when the mark of a monster finally scarred me. I am a MONSTER.

I don't deserve happiness. Not after what I've done.

I'm sorry Eric.

I heard the floor creak and I opened my eyes and raised my head. I saw my red best friend came in here and gave me a smile, "Hey there. You...Doing ok?"

I looked away from him, sadness painted on my face.

He took another step toward me, "Can I be with you? You know...Keep you company?"

I sighed and without looking at him I muttered, "Go ahead. My uncle's not here anyway."

My best friend nodded and he walked to my side and laid down on his stomach beside me. He tried to peer at my face and he said, "Sierra? Will you....Will you talk to me?"

I answered glumly, "About what?"

He said, "About Eric. I mean...I want to know what happened afterwards."

I growled, "It doesn't matter...I don't want to talk about it." I know I should've just told him that I went to find the king and I killed him, but I can't...He would think I'm a monster for what I've done.

He only stared at me and he nodded. Then he stretched out one of his wings and laid it over me. Shielding me from the world.

I finally turned my head to look at him and he gave me a comforting smile.

I sighed and said, "Look...I knew how you feel. But...You never felt the guilt like I do."

He shook his head, "No Sierra, I do. When I lost my mate, I've felt guilty for her death. I wasn't with her and I didn't save her. It's normal to feel this way."

The tears returned on my face and they've started to fall down my cheeks, "I...I can't let him go." I looked down and I said, "I can't let him go."

My best friend had a pity look on his face and he muttered, "Sierra...I don't know what to say."

I looked at his face with a glare, "Don't say anything." I waved him off with a paw, "I'm FINE, alright? Just get out of here and leave me alone already!"

He removed his wing off my back and he got up on all fours and backed away from me, with a pity look, "Calm down. I just-"

That's when I got up on all fours and shouted angrily at him, "Calm down?! How am I suppose to do that?! Eric's DEAD, I didn't save him!"

He shook his head, with a sad look on his face, "But it wasn't your fault!"

I shouted, "It is my fault!!" Then I walked close to him and gave him a hard shove with my paw, "Get out! I don't want to see anybody! If I didn't leave him alone, if only I've stayed with him, he would be alive right now!"

My best friend lowered his gaze to the floor, "I'm...Sorry."

I yapped, "Then GO!"

He raised his head and looked at me. He said, "If it'll make you feel better....I will."

I only stared at him now. Then I sat down on my haunches and started to sob in front of him.

He took a few steps toward me and he sat down on his haunches as well. Then I leaned my body toward his and I buried my head into his neck, sobbing loudly. He wrapped his wings around me, comforting me.

He soothed, "I'm here...I'm here...Don't cry."

I cried into his neck for a long time, and finally I only sniffled. I pulled away from him and I looked away from his face, "Please...Just go."

He nodded and he unwrapped his wings off of me and he backed away from me. He gave me a smile and he said, "It'll go away. The pain will go away." Then he whirled around and went out of the room.

I was sitting alone in my room. Registering what he said to me.

It won't go away. It'll never go away.

You have no idea what I've went through.

*****

For about three days after my best friend visited me, I'm still just a shell of my former shelf.

Just a monster living in the dragon city. The only monster who is.

I've wondered in the city today, out on the streets. As I walked past several dragons going on in their lives, they've never noticed me.

That's because they have no idea what I've been through and what I've done. They don't get it!

No one will ever get it! Not even my best friend, not even my uncle.

Maybe not even my mother and father, if they were still alive. And I'm glad they aren't.

Seeing their daughter for what she became. I wouldn't blame them if they've hated me.

Eric wouldn't like me as a monster as well. He wouldn't like this dragoness.

He would always love the dragoness that he was with.

But she's dead now and now there's nothing but a shell in her place.

A hollow shell.

I kept on trotting without looking at anyone. I...Didn't want to look at anybody. Not even my uncle.

Night came several hours later and my uncle was still trying to give me some food he got from the Braveheart.

He wondered in my room at his house and he had some meat from the restaurant in his jaws and he dropped it in front of me. He smiled at me, "I thought you might be hungry."

While I was laying on my stomach on the pile of furs, I looked at the food and then I glanced at him. I didn't say anything to him.

My uncle had a concerned look on his face, "Niece...You need to eat something. Keep your strength up."

I looked down at my paws and muttered, "I'm not hungry."

He lowered his neck to me and said, "Sierra...You haven't talked to me much ever since you've came back here. You haven't talked to anyone much actually."

I looked away from him, "I don't want to talk to anyone."

My uncle pleaded, "Listen I know you're in pain, but at least talk to me. I'm worried about you."

I only sighed. My uncle said, "Look it's not the end of the world. There are other males out there for you. I...I think you have to move on."

I hissed, "I don't want to move on."

He pleaded, "But niece-"

I growled and I shouted at him, "I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE!!!"

He bore a shock look on his face and then he looked sad. He lowered his gaze to the floor. He muttered, "I understand."

I said, "I don't want your pity. I...I just want to be alone."

My uncle nodded and he whirled around and left me alone. Me alone with the meat he left behind.

I stared at it. What's the point? There's no point in living anymore.

I'm a monster and a murderer.

I've killed several people, only because I wanted their blood.

Their blood for killing Eric. But all it cost me...Was my soul.

Now I don't have a soul.

I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve anyone. I don't deserve love anymore.

No monster deserves love.

I buried my face into my paws and I sobbed.

I sobbed for hours until there were no more tears to shed. I raised my head from my paws and I looked out the window, the full moon shining in the sky.

The Hunter's Moon.

My kind always called it that. Even I do.

I sighed. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to have friends and family.

Monsters don't have any of that, not even me...Even now.

I used to, before I became THIS. Now...I don't anymore.

I got up on my feet and walked to the window, staring up at the sky.

Then a thought crossed my mind.

I know what I need to do now.

I need to leave this city. I...Don't belong here anymore.

No monster deserves to belong here.

I whirled around and walked away from the window. I found my shoulder bag and then I started to pack up a few belongings that I've had. Including the sword that I've gotten from the dragon slayer who almost slain me and several furs that are on the floor.

I also picked up Eric's crystal pendant, my face filled with guilt just staring at it. I tossed it in the shoulder bag and then I walked slowly out of my room without making too much noise. Without waking up my uncle.

I managed to get out of his house and out onto the streets. Then I flapped my wings, made a running start and took to the skies.

I flew high over the city. The lights in the city are below me.

I flew until I saw the great wall that surrounds the city and I landed on top of it. Having a one last glance at the city.

I looked at all the buildings in the city. Remembering all the memories that I've made here. Remembering my...Family.

I'll never come back here. I never will. Not after what I've done.

My uncle, the magenta dragoness who owned the Braveheart, and my best friend all came to mind.

I sighed and my eyes started to water. I'll never see any of them again.

I muttered a few words toward the city, "Goodbye everyone...I'll never forget you." Then I shut my eyes tight and I took to the skies again.

I flew away from the city, away from the wall and I flew over the mountains that hide the city. The world shifted when I was out of range of the city.

I flew over the mountain and I was now far away from the mountain now.

Away from the city that I've grew up in.

I looked back over my shoulder while I was flying. Having one last glance at the mountains.

Goodbye.

I looked ahead and then I made a loud roar at the skies.

Now I'll never go back. Back to the life that I've once had.

Now...I'll live a new life. A lonely life of a monster.

*****

For a while now I've found a cave in the middle of a forest very far away from the dragon city, that I can live in. Apparently no one has lived in that cave for a long time.

Now there's a habitant who lives in it now.

And it's me.

Ever since I lived in the cave for ancestors knows how long. I have...Lived a lonely life.

Ever since I found the cave, I haven't seen any dragons for a while. No one has come here to find me.

I guess they realize that saying words and begging for me to come back to the dragon city won't change my mind.

But it's ok. Because I'm only protecting everyone from me. Because I'm a monster.

No monster deserves company.

While I was laying on the furs in the cave on my stomach, my stomach growled. I sighed. Guess I need to hunt again.

I got up on all fours and let out a big stretch. I shook myself and I walked out of the cave and into the sunlight. Must still be the afternoon.

I wondered outside and then I took to the skies. I flew over the woods searching for prey. For something to eat.

I hope there's another deer I can find. I'm in the mood for deer. I licked my chops while I was flying.

I knew the whole woods by memory now. So I know where I'm going.

Then while I was flying over open ground away from the trees, I saw something on the ground.

A lone human. A male human.

My eyes went wide. Hmmm, I haven't seen a human for a while. Wonder where he came from?

Come to think of it, I haven't seen a human ever since I've lived in the cave.

Maybe I should talk to him. I shook my head from that thought. What are you thinking? You don't know him!

But then another part wanted another friend. A tiny part inside me.

Despite the guilt and sadness I've suffered, I remembered the promise I've made to Eric before he died. To move on and find someone else to love and be with.

Maybe that human can be my friend...Maybe something might happen.

It's worth a shot. I...Could use a friend.

Maybe he won't be afraid of me and he'll talk to me.

I dove to the ground to where the human was at. I landed hard to the ground and the human jumped up and spun around and saw me. His face went wide. He gasped.

I stood up proudly and just stared at him. Looking at his face. The human looked young enough. Like the same age as Eric.

The human started to back away from me, slowly. I smiled at him and I walked close to him and I lowered my head to his level.

I looked into his eyes and said, "Hello human."

He stuttered, "You...You...Can talk?"

I nodded and said, "Yes human, I can." Then I got my head closer to his, "What's your name?"

Then without warning he screamed and actually slapped my sensitive nose real hard and I roared in pain. I fell down to my haunches and put a paw to my nose.

The human screamed, "Stay away from me you BEAST!" Then he turned and ran away from me. Without looking back.

I shook my head and lowered my paw to the ground. I watched the human run away until he finally disappeared from my sight.

I glared after he left. I knew it.

No human will be Eric. Everyone will always view me as a monster.

They're all the same. They're nothing but a bunch of liars, cheaters, and murderers.

Of course I'm a murderer too, but I don't care now.

The humans are all the same. Their kind can never be friends with my kind. Not even me.

I realize now that there was only one human who was like that and it was Eric.

But Eric's dead and there are no other humans like him.

I don't care about humanity anymore. If they don't care about me and if they only view me as a monster, then why should I care about humanity?

Humans are all the same. They've killed Eric because he's different than them. And there's no one else.

There's no point to move on from him. There will always be Eric.

I don't want anyone else, but Eric.

I can't keep the promise. I'll never let him go.

No matter what I do, I never will.

Humanity has treated my kind like shit for a long time. There can never be change. We can never co exist

And now...I'll treat humanity like shit. I hate them all!

*****

I flew the next day after I saw the human who ran away from me.

In the distance on the dirt road, I saw a carriage. A horse carriage.

I grinned down at it. Guess I'll scare them off.

I dove to the ground and then I breathed fire in the horse's path. The horse whinnied in fear. Standing on it's two feet backing away from the fire. The human who is controlling the carriage, snapped it's reins at the horse and the carriage turned around, away from the fire.

I flew over the carriage. Surveying the situation. While the horse carriage was running so fast away from me. Something fell from the back of it. Something big.

I flew away from the horse carriage when I saw it fell out. And the horse carriage just went on away from me. The horse whinnying in the distance.

I landed and trotted to a stop on the ground. My wings curling on my back.

I walked toward the big object that fell out of the horse carriage and my eyes went wide when I knew what it was.

A shelf of some sort. And alongside the shelf were several books. Human books.

I picked up one in my paw and just looked at the cover. It said 'The Princess of Landra'.

I frowned at it. Hmmm, never thought that carriage would have all this stuff. I wonder why that carriage has all this stuff?

I sighed. Well I guess it doesn't matter. It's all mine now.

Might as well keep myself entertained. After all Eric did taught me how to read the human language.

Now I have some human books to read.

Pretty good reason why I should have them.

I looked at the big shelf. But first things first. I need to take the big shelf back to the cave. I could use it to place the books in and also the sword that I've had. This shelf will come in handy.

I giggled to myself. I suppose I could give that horse carriage some credit. It brought me some entertainment to myself.

I walked to the shelf and then I started to drag it away. Seems kinda heavy for me to carry it in flight.

I'll come back for the books later, my cave's not that far away.

Shouldn't be a problem.

*****

I stood outside Eric's house in flames. Hearing him screaming my name for help.

I saw him through the window pleading for my help, banging at the window, "Sierra! Please help me! Don't let me die!"

"SIERRA!!!!"

I gasped and then I woke up. I was breathing heavily.

I was sleeping outside during the night. For some reason I wanted to have a break away from the cave for a bit, so I've decided to sleep out on the meadow.

I breathed heavily until I've finally calmed myself down.

It was just a dream. A nightmare. But it felt pretty real. Almost too real.

Only because a part of that dream is real. He died while being burned alive in his house. Only because I wasn't there to save him.

I could really imagine he called out to me for help before he died. I could never get the screams out of my mind.

Even though he was already dead when I've found him. But...I could still picture it.

Eric probably called to me for help and I didn't save him.

I was his lover and I didn't save him.

I'm such a bad dragon. I'm such a worst lover ever.

I couldn't save my love and he died for it.

Part of me wishes he never met me. That if he didn't meet me in the first place, then none of that would've happened.

I looked up at the stars in the night sky.

Picturing him up there with my family.

I looked up sadly. I love you Eric. I will always love you.

I hope you can forgive me for not saving you. Because I'm not sure if you are.

Part of me wishes that I was dead already. That I want to fly so high into the air and then I plummet myself all the way down to the ground and break every bone in my body. And that would be it for me.

I want to die. I don't see the point in living anymore.

But then why won't I die? Why can't I do it? Why won't I do it? I hate myself for not doing it!

What's the damn point?! Why am I still alive?!

While I was looking up at the sky, I shouted to it. To the ancestors, "WHY?! Why did this have to happen to me?! Why me?! Don't I deserve happiness!? Don't I deserve anything?! First you've took my parents away from me and now...You've took away the only one I've ever really loved! I loved Eric damn it! Why didn't I save him?! Why does all the bad things happen to ME?! Why do I feel so guilty?!"

I took a deep breath and let it out, "Because you know why, because I'm a monster. I'm a monster and a murderer and I'm no different than the humans. I hate them! I hate them all! But I'm no different than them! I'm not even like any other dragon now! But who cares?! No one does! Because I'm a monster and no one understands me! Eric understood me, but I guess I deserve to be alone after all!"

Tears started to fill my eyes and my throat started to tighten, "Why ancestors? Why me? What's the point? Why am I still alive? Why can't I kill myself?! Why can't I build the confidence to do it? I'm alone and I hate everything! I'm a monster! Don't you get it?!"

I went on, "Eric...Do you forgive me?"

I waited for an answer. But there isn't. No one is here except for me.

I shouted to the sky, "Do you forgive me Eric?! I love you so much! I want you to forgive me! Please for ancestors sake, forgive ME!!!"

I am alone and that's the way it was for me from now on.

I shut my eyes tight, my tears falling down, I said, "You won't forgive me, will you? Because you hate me now, even after you've died. You loved me and I didn't save you. I will never forgive myself. I don't blame you for hating me, because I deserve it. I don't deserve happiness! I don't deserve anyone!!!"

I opened my eyes and looked at the sky again, "Well say something! Say something Eric! Tell me you hate me now! I know you hate me for your death, so why won't you just say it?! TELL ME!!!"

No answer. Nothing but the crickets.

That's when I got up on all fours and I shouted angrily at the crickets, "SHUT UP!!!!" Then I reared back and let out an earth shattering roar. A roar of anger.

When I was done roaring, I breathed heavily. Then my face went from anger to sadness in an instant and I crashed myself down to the ground. Burying my face into my paws, sobbing loudly.

I know you can't forgive me Eric. You hate me.

But I can't let you go. I...I love you.

This is my fault that you're dead.

It's all my fault.

*****

952 Years Later, 1952

I was having a daily walk in the woods. Wondering if I'll see anything new today.

But I doubt I will see anything new. Everything's always the same here.

I walked away from my usual route in the woods and I walked off to a different one. I haven't seen the dirt road in a while. I wonder if any humans riding horses came by the woods recently?

I walked to the edge of the woods until I could hear a noise in the distance. I stopped in my tracks and listened. What's that?

I've never heard that noise before. What could it be?

I stood where I was and then I saw it coming. It was going by the woods really fast. I saw that a human is riding it, but it didn't look like a horse carriage or anything. There were no horses.

And the thing the human was riding, it was made of...Metal? Not wood?

The fast metal thing was loud when it went by. Louder than a horse! It's...Strange.

The metal thing that the human was riding had wheels like a carriage, but they were different.

The wheels looked like it was made of...Well I don't know what they would call it, but it wasn't made of wood. The wheels look black, that I can tell.

I cocked my head after the metal thing went far away from me and the woods. What could that thing be? I've never seen anything quite like it.

It's new to me.

I walked out of the woods at the edge and then something else caught my eye on the ground.

The road looked different. There was no dirt road anymore, in the place of the dirt road, it's now different. It's a different kind of road of some sort.

I lowered my head to get a closer look at it. I reached out and touched it with my paw. The road felt really different. The road is made of something else. Not made of dirt, but...Made of rock.

This is strange. First the transportation for humans look different and now the road's different.

Did...Some things change in this world? How long was I out in these woods?

What happened to this world now? How much...Has the humans changed? Evolved in the years?

Before I could think of anything else, I could hear another fast metal thing in the distance. I ran back into the woods before the thing came by the woods.

I cocked my head at it, after it rode off away from me.

Strange indeed.

*****

About a few hours after I saw the strange metal things riding by and after I've noticed that the road's different as well. I went walking back to my cave.

I still didn't figure out what I've saw. I mean...It's strange.

Did the humans evolve? I wonder.

I hissed to myself. There better not be any human who wonders in my woods. I don't know what they would do to me in this...Timeline?

I shook my head at the thought. I'm going to give myself a headache just thinking about it.

I better be careful while I'm hunting from now on. If the humans did evolve, then there's no telling what they'll do to me if one finds me.

No need to take too many chances.

I made it to the mouth of the cave. Just trying to get myself to relax after my discovery. I walked deeper in my cave and saw my shelf that I've took from that horse carriage years ago.

I looked at all the stuff I've collected over the years. Including the sword from that dragon slayer and all the human books that I've had. Some of them worn. I read them a lot. Just to keep myself entertained.

Then on the shelf, I saw Eric's crystal pendant sitting on there.

My heart felt pain when I saw it. I looked away from it. Eric...

I walked to the pile of furs I've gathered over the years since I've lived here. I laid down on my stomach on them. With a sad look on my face.

Even though it has been god knows how long since Eric died...I still feel him. I...Still dream about him.

I still feel guilty for what I've done as well. I can't let all of it go.

I sighed. I'll never let it go.. Even when the world changes, I'll never let go of the guilt and I'll never let go of...Eric.

My eyes started to water. I'm sorry Eric.

I wish I could change the past...But I can't.

Nothing will change for me. I've been alone for years and nothing has changed.

And it never will. My life will still be the same.

I will always be a lonely monster that lives in a cave.

I deserve to be alone. No matter how long the years go by.

Tears have fallen down my face and I buried my face in my paws. I started sobbing.

I...Wish that I've had one friend here right now. One that can tell me that I'm not a monster. One who...Understands me. One who...Really understands my pain and my guilt.

But that'll never happen. Nothing like that ever will.

Nothing will change. Things will always be the same.