Angels and Demons

Finding One's True Self: Part 22

By Xan Steel

A sudden feeling of emptiness washed over Daniel, having been ripped from the unit he had been using all this time. Darkness swept over Daniels vision as he felt like he was floating in a void of nothing, while still being able to sense himself. He was unsure whether or not if he was dead or alive. If what Altair had told him according to Juren, it was possible that he was likely dead, and this was somehow a form of afterlife for him. 

He began to imagine the little home where Julyna had entered when his psyche was broken, hoping that he might make it appear. To his luck, he did manage to bring it to life so to speak. Daniel sat down at the tree where he had pinned Julyna too during their fight. He sighed thinking that if this was an afterlife of some sort then perhaps he was meant to relive the worst of it for all eternity.

He got up and began to wonder about the area and still saw the damage that had been caused by his internal conflict. He wondered if these were a form of mental scars and if he needed to fix them, or if time would heal them. He turned to walk another way when he saw a small table with a set of tools on it. He stood there looking at them for a moment and then proceeded to take them in hand and begin working on repairing the damage. He started whistling a tune that Maria used to hum when they were younger. He found that it helped him concentrate while making the work go much easier and faster.

He stood back and looked at his handy work and smiled. While there wasn't any way to make everything new, he managed to make it look like it was from a distance. He was about to head inside the little home when the sound of footsteps crossed his ears. Unsure of what to do, he began to turn slowly in their direction and was completely shocked by who he saw. His father and mother. Daniel's body wouldn't let him move as they continued to approach him. They were the last thing he ever wanted to see in his life, and now it appears they were here when he was dead.

“Well, well, look who it is my dear." His father said to his mother. 

"Oh yes, our little boy has grown up to be quite the sinner." She replied. 

"Why are you in my mental world?" Daniel said with some mild anger, as the Fight or Flight instincts kicked in allowing him to move his body.

"Tsk, Tsk, such anger is unbecoming of a child you know, especially towards one's parents. After all, we are your elders,  and every much a part of you." His father said. 

"You were always such a bad boy growing, never listening to us. If you had it would have prevented you from all those beatings you got." His mother finished.

He stood there in disbelief unable to believe what he was hearing. "You beat me every day regardless of whether or not I listened to you and did as you said. Or did you forget that?" Daniel retorted. 

"Oh, you think that was abuse, and that we weren't trying to teach you manners and life lessons to help you in life?” his father questioned.

”What lessons, what manners!? All you ever did was come home from work and beat the shit out of mother, and then finish up with me! There were no lessons to be learned or manners to instill!" Daniel was on the verge of losing it and began to wonder if he was in some form of personal hell, because it wasn't an afterlife he wanted, especially with them involved.

He felt the hammer still in his hand and wondered if a mental weapon would hurt a mental being, but then if it was true and they were apart of who he is, would he be only harming a part of himself? So many questions came to his mind as he tried to find a firm answer to hold on too. He looked up and saw his father closer to him. He quickly without thinking raised the hammer at his head, "DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!" Daniel yelled as his father stopped. 

"You're not going to hit me, Dan." his father calmly said.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you," Daniel said in an icy voice of anger while his body shook all over. He stepped closer as Daniel gave a warning swing at his head causing him to stop again as his eyes narrowed at Daniel. 

They turned as a new voice sounded behind his parents, to see who it was. "You two just don't know when to quit do you?" Maria stood there shaking her head at their parents. 

Her mother finished turning and looked right at her while speaking in a 'matter of fact' tone, "Well if it isn't my incestuous daughter, the biggest of all sins." 

"Only to you, as no one else truly cared. Besides unlike you, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make Danny happy in life because I love him." Maria calmly said.

"And you don't think I love my son?" their mother questioned.

Maria laughed "If you did, then you had a pretty poor way of showing it. Particularly with the beatings you gave him when he protected me from you. Showing you what real love was." she said.

Her mother's eyes narrowed as she began to look at the both of them. "You see mother..." Daniel began, "I love my sister so much that I'm willing to take her abuse as well as mine to protect her and take care of her. That was something you and father never did. All that mattered to you was your damned religion and making sure you made it to some ridiculous paradise of an afterlife! Making certain that we got just the barest of needs so that we wouldn't die on you, keeping you from going to jail for neglect and abuse!" Daniel's tone and body language had grown angrier over the course of his speech.

His father jumped on him and pushed Daniel to the ground and began to punch him repeatedly in the face and neck. "I LOVED YOU, AND I CARED FOR YOU AS BEST I COULD, BUT YOU WERE A BRAT, AN UNDISCIPLINED SPOILED BRAT!" his father heatedly yelled.

The funny thing about the punches Daniel noticed was that he didn't feel them, well not in the usual way. He did feel the pressure, but not the pain. The punching suddenly stopped, and he noticed Maria over him shaking badly. She spoke in a furious and icy voice, "Stay away from him. This just proves you know nothing of real love, kindness, and compassion." 

Their mother walked up to her, "You obstinate little bitch!" She said as she went to grab her, only to have Maria spin around and slap her very hard across her face, sending her to the ground. She then grabbed her mother by the arm and dragged her a short distance and with all her strength tossed her over to their father. 

Daniel got up as Maria laid into them verbally, "NEITHER ONE OF YOU KNOW WHAT LOVE IS! I RAISED DANNY TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS! I CARED FOR HIM AND FED HIM! I HAND REPAIRED OUR CLOTHES UNTIL WE COULD NO LONGER FIT IN THEM! WHERE WERE YOU FOR OUR BIRTHDAYS AND OUR HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION!?! WHERE!!" Her voice softened but was still full of anger and rage. "And you know what else? I don't give a damn about how your religion looks at it, but I love him, and I'm more than willing to bare his children!" 

Daniel came up behind her and wrapped his arms around to hold her as he felt her shaking violently. "Calm down sis. They're not worth it." He said softly and calmly. 

“No, they are. They deserve every ounce of my hatred." She said in return which surprised him. She turned to look at him as he saw the tears running down her cheeks. "You were eight when she hit you for the first time, do you remember?" He nodded. "Do you remember what you said to me in the bedroom after that?" He honestly couldn't and shook his head. "You told me not to cry when I couldn't bring you out of the confusion that I saw in you and then said, ’You would be strong enough to bear our pain.'" She started to break down but fought it back. "You, you shouldn't have had to do that at your age, but no, no, they broke you and forced you to carry it!" she finished.

He pulled her into a tight hug as she began to let her emotions go. Daniel looked at his parents, as anger ripped through him. They weren't even listening to them,  and instead were in prayer.

"Rubi!" 

Came a light whisper into Maria and his ears. They looked at each other and then around to see from where it was coming. 

"Rubi." "Rubi." 

This time they heard two whispers as Maria turned to Daniel. "They are trying to save you, Danny," Maria said softly to him. 

"But how?" 

She smiled up at him, her tone soft and sweet. "Because you are not dead. Go to them, let them pull you out of this hell. You deserve the happiness they can give you." 

"Come with me, sis," Daniel pleaded with her. 

She stepped back and shook her head. "I need to stay here and stop them from keeping you here," she said.

"I can't lose you, sis," he said.

"Don't worry, we'll see each other again someday soon, I promise." She softly added, making sure he wouldn't catch it right away as she gave him a tight hug and sent him away.

As he left their parents stopped their prayer. "So now my son is a beastialist and is running off to be with his beast women." His father said as he shook his head. 

Maria watched him leave, and she whispered to herself, "It's my turn to bear our pain brother. Please forgive me for not telling you." She finished as they grabbed her hair and pulled her to the ground as they laid into her over and over again.

Daniel ran in any direction he could and as fast as he could. Trying desperately to follow the voices he knew so well. Hoping that if he could make it to them in time, that he could save both Maria and himself. The world around him went black as the only light he saw, was the one in the distance, where the voices were coming from. He called out to Julyna and Iris as he ran toward the light. They voices became excited as they called back to him, encouraging him to keep coming towards their voices. He gave everything he had, and as he reached the light, he jumped through it.

On the Kestrel in Medical, Daniel's vivid green eyes slowly opened as he felt Julyna's and Iris's forehead on his. He slowly reached up and affectionately touched their cheeks as they both leaned back a bit and licked his cheeks, and wrapped an arm around him hugging him tightly as they wept with happiness for finally having brought him back. 

It was also at this moment that he realized the size difference. Daniel was surprisingly a good two feet smaller than they were, and he was six foot two inches. Average for a human being, but small for a Derlenian. He stared into Julyna's Amber eyes and then into Iris's galactic blue eyes, as they stared into his vivid green eyes. And for the first time in his life, even though he was no longer in his galaxy. He felt like he was home.