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If you're gone, there's nothing else I could do
I need you here to make this duet for two
And my heart's getting faster, the beat's getting louder
So let it all go and just get lost in my stereo...

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I awoke from the dream with a start, tangled in the embrace of another who's scent was not the one that lingered still in my mind, frustrated I writhed my way out of their hold... and crept through the room on silent feet.

Despite how early the hour was, and the fact that light had yet to peek through the thin, sheltered windows, I dressed and fished through a box of my things for a familiar piece of equipment in an effort to get my mind back on the track of things.

I remembered when I'd first gotten the patterned headset that I pulled out with a half-dead music-player... I'd not charged it in... how long? No matter, I just needed it to last long enough to get my mind off of things and began setting the items up before I moved to the couch, far away from the one that was sleeping in my bed.

My mind was racing, there were a thousand different questions and contempts in my mind that had me near throwing the objects in my hands against the wall, as if the music alone were to blame for my grief, anger and frustration had hit me so harshly in recent days I couldn't even begin to pull my mind free of the path it had begun to take, a dark turn to be sure...

Nevertheless I breathed, the soft scent of a floral arrangement came from somewhere, Itsuki had been about earlier in the evening and his smell was still in the fabric of the couch I moved to sit on, he'd slept there a while when he himself suffered a nightmare that wasn't easily comforted, I'd sat up with him until he felt safe again.

The embrace the headset provided to my ears was awkward, it was obvious they weren't meant for my ears... which were higher on my head than human ones, I adjusted however and set them over the ridged bones behind my cheeks and flicked my ears back to catch the thrum and throb of a familiar beat, the pealed cry of the singer came through loud and clear as I shuddered from the pulse it sent through my frame.

There is a saying that music soothes a savage beast... what would that say about someone like me, whom became so enthralled by so many different types of music, that each one had a certain reaction it gave me, the current song that I picked up was a remix of a popular American tune that had recently been released, I preferred the version to the American... simply because it had more melody.

The echo of lyrics that entered my head had me wanting to sing along with them... but the fear of waking the one that had shared my room with me for the night kept me from expressing the love I had for it...

Perhaps it was better that way, as the longer I listened to the melody, I began to think about... loss.

My heart turned over in on itself and I felt that familiar sting, missing one, hating another, and broken over what wasn't there. I felt the heat of the tears that welled within my eyes and blinked them away stubbornly, reaching to rub them from my gaze I coiled onto the couch further, drawing my knees against my chest and placing my hands over the buds that rested on my skull, adjusting and moving them up so I could better hear the lyrics, as I lost myself in the melody, my lips parted and all I could do... was echo what was sung.

"Baby, my stereo is broken but you make me complete, yeah

No lying, all you heard it right (oh girl)
I'm gonna set you free tonight
So you can let it all go and just get lost in my stereo

My heart's a stereo, it beats for you so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every note, oh! oh!
Make me your radio, turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you, so sing along to my stereo..."

The wound was still fresh in my heart, no matter how many times I'd laugh, or smile, the ghost of what made my heart hurt in the first place, was still there, haunting me at every turn.

Why couldn't I forget?

And furthermore... why did my dreams convey things to me that left me jerking awake from a sound sleep... feeling as if my body had been ripped open, from abdomen to chest...?

The nightmares are becoming all too vivid lately... and I have begun to wonder if perhaps... this ghost that haunts my memories isn't the reason that I no longer sleep... worse yet...

Is this ghost the same creature that left me barren... and empty?