I tried to deny it at first. But it was too late at this point. The secret was out, and she put all the pieces together. I'm not sure if it was shock or something else, but she just gave me a blank stare when she saw me. Maybe as if waiting for the reveal that it's all a joke. 

"I…. Just needed…. I….." I was just stumbling over my words. I didn't know what to say, but my brain told me I needed to say something. Finally, I got a single sentence out.

"I just found out." 

It was all I could say. It's not like having your Mom catch you with drugs or even nasty stuff on the internet, and there's no reasonable explanation. 

She stared at me for a bit before responding with an equally short question.

"When did it start?"

I tried to be quick and get some conversation flowing, thinking it should help.

"Uhh, 2 days ago, in class. Kole helped me get it under control."

Her facial expression changed from blank to more of an irritated look.

"So that's a good enough reason to not tell me? What do you mean under control? Did you do this?" She quickly snarked back.

"I was terrified! What do you think I want this? You think I want to become some kind of monster?" I said, raising my voice without meaning to.

From there, the conversation switched gears. My Mom tried to blame it on Kole, and I made the mistake of mentioning the doctor and how she was human but worked with hybrids. She left my room, probably for the better. 

My Mom and her family are part of the population who believes it's contagious. Anima has only been a thing for a few years and is still new territory for research. Only recently have specialists like Leslie come around. And even still, it is too broad for one person to handle everything. Because of the still ongoing research, there are many myths about it. 

Mentally exhausted, I raised my hands to cup my face. Expecting to feel smooth skin, I instead felt soft bristles. I slid my hands back behind my neck, down to where it meets my shoulders and feathers. I tried to relax. Imagine my skin against my hands. Dragging my hands back towards my face, I could feel the number of feathers dwindle. 

I stepped into the hallway, then the bathroom, and locked the door. I pulled my shirt off and tossed it aside. Stepping in front of the mirror, I checked for any changes. A few feathers were still on the back of my neck, and they were a dull orange-brown color. Just reaching up, I was able to lightly brush them off. They must have just been some that fell off and stuck to my skin earlier. 

I left the bathroom and started my way to my bedroom. As I walked past my Mom's room, I could hear something. I stopped and listened. She was crying to herself. Although I wanted to step in, I think it wouldn't help right now. I entered my room and laid down on the bed. 

I was in the woods behind the college. I walked away from the building onto the bridge. I could see a figure standing at the end of the bridge, looking out over the dried-up creek that ran under the bridge. Everything was perfectly clear, but the figure looked almost out of focus. The longer I looked, I could tell something was hanging off the front of their face. As I stepped closer, I tripped on one of the boards of the bridge. Just as I started falling forward, my view changed. I was lying face-up, staring at the ceiling in my bed.

I turned to get out of my bed and saw the feathers from last night lying on the floor. I stood up and then bent down to collect the feathers. After collecting all, I could find, I stuffed them into my pocket. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand, and I could see a text from Kole.

"How's it going mile eyes" it read.

"Its going. Not great but at least now Mom knows. What about you?" I sent back.

I got dressed for the day and made my way downstairs. My Mom was nowhere to be found, and her car was missing from the driveway. She must have already left for work or out doing errands. I made something quick for breakfast and knew where I needed to go. I got on my bike and rode to the AA group house. Upon arriving, I could see a small Honda pulling into the driveway just before me. I rode up to the side of the house and dropped my bike. I turned to look and saw Nash stepping out of the car. 

"I guess we didn't scare you off!" Nash yelled over to me.

"Well, you guys are pretty much the most normal-seeming thing right now," I shouted back. 

I saw Rylie and Matthew sitting on the couch watching TV as I walked in the door. Matthew's head turned to face me, and I saw his jet-black beak open in surprise.

"Hey! You came back sooner than I expected."

"I told him the same thing," Nash said as he stepped around me.

"Lyall! Great to see you, buddy!" I heard Damien say from around the corner. "Aren't you supposed to be in class, though?"

"I didn't elect for Saturday classes this semester." I replied, "But I do want to talk with you if you have a moment."

"Shoot! I don't mind everyone hearing if you don't," Damien said, walking into my view with the rest of the group.

"Well, last night, my Mom put some things together and figured me out. She found CDC papers and a feather."

"That's good news, right?" Matthew asked, "relieved, right?"

"Not really. It did not go down well at all. Ended up being a fight, and haven't spoken to her today. I was going to talk to her this morning, but I missed her."

"She will come around to it. It's usually a surprise to everyone." Damien said back.

I took a seat on the couch and watched TV with Rylie and Matthew. They were watching a Netflix show about some kids in a survival competition. I tried to figure out what was happening, but the audio was in Portuguese, and the captions seemed complicated to focus on.

 After a bit of that, I went to the kitchen where Damien was. He was packing groceries into their cabinets, and I could tell he was struggling with his wing arms reaching into the deep parts of the cabinets. The feathers hanging from his arms would get stuck on the cabinet openings. Most of the time, he put his hand in as far as he could and would kind of flick them the rest of the way.

"Need any help?" I asked Damien.

"If you want to put some stuff in the cabinets, I won't say no to a little help."

I started taking things out of bags and lining them into the cabinets. 

"So, uh, how long have you been here?" I asked Damien.

"A little over 2 years now. Like you, I started coming around here when I first had changes, and some folks haven't come around until they were a bit further."

"Oh, so you didn't start this place?" I asked

"Nah, I just started hanging out here, eventually moved in after a few months. Took the lead role after Antony, who came after Darren. Darren was the one who started the house. Met him in his last days when he was more Osprey than human. Not too unlike myself really," Damien said, holding his arms out slightly and gesturing to his body. 

Just hearing that makes me think, how can he be so nonchalant about this? How many people has he seen come and go from here? As I was about to ask, Damien's phone started to ring, and he pulled it to his head and began to speak.

"Dame here…. Yes, missus Vann…..I can have Nash pick him up if you're ok with it…. Alright, he will be over shortly" Damien ended the call and poked his head around the corner to the main room.

"Nash, you in there?" Damien called out. 

"Yeah, what's up?" Nash yelled across the room.

"Can you go pick up Benji? His Mom's getting admitted again. He should be at home."

"Again? That's like twice this month." I heard Matthew say.

"Well, don't say anything to him, but she's not doing so great. Need to keep his mind off of it." Damien yelled back. "Expect for him to stay a few nights."

After a bit, we finished putting things away. I sat back down in the main room and pulled out my phone, and I had a message from Kole.

"Hey, come over if you get a chance," It read.

I replied back, "Now?"

A swift response popped up "Yeah"

I put my phone away a looked around. Matthew and Rylie were still watching the TV, and Damien was sitting on a recliner, running his hand through his red head feathers while browsing on his phone.

"I gotta get going. Got a slightly concerning text from a friend," I said aloud.

"Like bad or real bad?" Matthew asked.

"I mean, it's just a few words, but he asked me to swing by." I stood up. "So not sure, but I think if it was too bad, he would call me."

"Oh, real quick, let me get your number before you leave." Damien got up and walked toward me.

He handed me his phone, and I gave him mine. I typed in my name and number, and we swapped back phones. Looked at the contact to see "Damien Brooks" followed by a phone number. 

"Let us know if you need anything!" Damien said, walking back to the recliner. 

I walked out the front door, got on my bike, and rode to Kole's. I dropped the bike, walked up to his door, and rang the doorbell upon arriving. The door opened after a bit of time, and I saw Kole. 

"Hey dude, thanks for being quick," Kole said, ushering me in.

"No problem," I said, walking. "So what's up?"

The door shut, and I turned to see Kole following me. Every step had a clicking sound, and I looked down to his feet to see where it was coming from. His foot looked almost like he was standing on his toes. Except instead of 5 toes, he had 2 black pointed toes. Watching him walk, I could tell he was having difficulty walking and keeping his balance. 

"Your feet, dude! When did that happen?" I asked him.

He stood leaned against the wall slightly with both hands in his pockets.

"Well, the night after we talked at the college, I woke up to use the restroom and found it hard to walk. Looked down to find these beauties." He said, lifting one hoof off the ground. As he set it back, you could hear the sound it made against the tile floor. 

"So that happened in your sleep? Like no weird dreams or anything?" 

"Well, it wasn't all that changed," Kole said, pulling his hands from his pockets.

He held his hands out to me. His hands had changed not entirely to hoofs but to kind of a mixture of hand and hoof. His hands were slimmer, and instead of 5 fingers, he had 2 black "toes" in place of his 4 main fingers and one smaller on where his thumb would be. He went to wiggle his fingers, but the hives only slightly moved away from each other. His thumb still moved how you would expect but without as much dexterity, missing 2 joints. 

"What are you gonna do about it?" I asked him

"Nothing really to do. Can't change them back now," Kole said with his voice cracking a bit at the end. 

I looked up to his face to see he was holding back some emotions, practically crying.

"I don't know what to do, man. I can't work on a computer now. Just texting you was a struggle. I can't drive, play video games, or even use round door knobs. How am I supposed to be an engineer when I can't hold anything?" Kole said with his face turning red.

All I could think of was the things Kole and I would do that he wouldn't be able to do now. In one night, almost all use of his hands was taken away. Any dreams of finishing his degree are done. I thought of Damien's arms and his struggles of just putting boxes away. This was the future for all of us at some point.

"I wanna sit down if you don't mind. Standing is kinda hard now for me," Kole said, defeated. 

He walked or rather stumbled towards his living room. Every step clicked until he reached the carpet. He sat down and propped his legs up on the table in front of his couch. 

We talked for a bit, and he asked how I was doing. I told him about my Mom and her reaction. I did leave out the parts about him, though. The last thing he needed was more stress. I told him about Damien and the house.

"So it's a house that has AA meetings?" Kole asked, confused.

"No, it's called Avian Associates, but it's not what you think it would be. It is more like a dorm with a few people living there." 

"So, is there like meetings or something?"

"No, I mean when I left, most everyone was chilling on the couches," I replied

'Oh, that's a bit different from the Wilds group I visited a few weeks back," Kole said, surprised. "They had meetings twice a week and would help with any life planning or questions. It was held at a rec center downtown."

Just then, we heard the door open. It was Kole's mother with a plastic shopping bag. She saw me sitting on the couch and smiled.

"Lyall! It's been a while. How have you been?" She asked.

"Holding on, I think," I replied.

"Kole told me about your changes." She walked closer, staring into my eyes. "Wow, your eyes are a gorgeous color!" 

"Oh…I uh… thanks," I said, embarrassed. I never expected someone to think of my eyes as good-looking. 

"How's your mom doing?" She asked

"She's… doing, I guess," I replied back, trying to play off the question. 

"His mom is pissed at him," Kole said bluntly.

Kole's Mom had a look of shock. "Is she mad at you over it?"

"A bit. I think it's just a bit of shock." I said to her.

"I'll have to chat with her" Kole's Mom was now a bit upset.

"No, no, don't worry about it. I appreciate the offer, but she will be fine." 

"If there's anything we can do for you, don't hesitate!" Kole's Mom said as she started to dig in the bag.

She reached in and pulled out a small plastic package. In it were 4 small tubes, and she handed them to Kole.

"What am I supposed to do with these?" Kole asked.

"I called the doctor and told her about your feet. She said to put these on your toes if you slip on the smooth surfaces. They are like shoes for hooves."

Kole was embarrassed himself. He reluctantly put 2 of them on one of his hooves and then the other. He stood up with his legs shaking slightly. He walked out on the tile floor, and the clicking was more of a tacky thump now. Still, he was wobbly and unsteady with every step, although a bit more stable. He sat back down and pulled all 4 off his hooves. 

"They work, I guess. But they feel weird like I'm stepping in mush." Kole said to his mother.

"Maybe try them some more later before you give up on them. You wouldn't believe where all I had to go to find them!" His Mom said, half laughing.

"Did she say anything about my hands?" Kole asked.

"She didn't know anything off the top of her head. She said it's pretty uncommon for them to change this soon. Have you tried to change them back?" 

"I've tried, and every time it's the same result. I don't think they can change back." Kole said quietly. "Do you think should I drop out?"

"You don't know what could happen. I think you might regret it if you do, Kole," She replied.

"Mom, let's be real. My hands are not coming back. How long until I can't stand upright? I don't think finishing my 3 semesters would be worth it for only maybe a few more years of work after. That's if I can even finish classes. Then imagine trying to get someone to hire me!" He said again, holding back tears.

"Hon, I think you are selling yourself short. You have potential. You really do! This is just a little setback, and you have been doing great in school so far." 

There was silence. It seemed like an eternity, and I was pretty uncomfortable. I felt like I shouldn't be sitting here during this conversation. But I had to agree with Kole's point, and his words were a bit of a slap in the face for me. What he said was hard but ultimately right. How long would he have after college? How long would I have after college? I felt frozen at that moment. How long do I have?

"Lyall? You ok?" Kole was looking right at me.

"I uh yeah, I'm good. But I really should be going, and I need to check up with my Mom, see how she is doing," I said, trying to make up an excuse to leave.

"Want me to give you a ride home, Lyall?" Kole's Mom asked me. "It would be a lot quicker."

"If you don't mind, I would appreciate it."

We walked to her car. Kole stayed on the couch, and you could tell he had a lot going through his head. He didn't say any goodbyes, which is very unusual for him.

I loaded my bike on Kole's Mom's bike rack. I had plans to get an older car as I already have my driver's license. But I decided to wait until after I was done with classes. The college was close enough that a car was unnecessary, and Kole said he would pick me up in the winter months. Now I'm not so sure about anything.

The car ride was pretty quiet. I tried to make small talk but found difficulty finding anything to talk about. Or at least things unreleased to Kole and I's situations. When we reached the end of the drive. Kole's Mom reiterated that if I needed anything, to let her know. We said our goodbyes and I was left on my front porch. I really didn't want to go inside. My Mom's car was parked in the driveway, so there was no avoiding it. I could delay it all I wanted, but eventually, I would have to talk to her. 

I opened the door and stepped in. My Mom was in the kitchen on a video call on her laptop, and she looked up and saw me. Immediately she started to wrap up the call.

"Lyall's here, so I'm going to see how his day has been. I'll call you back in a bit!" She was cheerful. But once the call was over and the laptop closed, she was serious.

"Lyall, we need to talk… About last night." 

I think to myself about how the ripping was about to start.

"I'm sorry," She said. "I overreacted, and I'm sorry. I just can't stand the thought of you going through this."

Shock and surprise. Only things that could describe it. I had to say something back, but I never expected that response.

"I'm sorry." After a short delay, I said, "I should have told you sooner. I just didn't know how to tell you." 

"The feathers worked. But maybe next time, let's try something more…."

"Face to face?" I interrupted.

She laughed a little.

"So I do have a few questions, you know. But you need to be honest with me. I don't need any more secrets." She said with a more laid-back tone. 

We talked for a few hours. We talked about the day in class when I had the first change. I told her about Kole's help in the lounge and the trip to the doctor. I told her (a little) about the group house. It was a pretty good conversation /compared to last night, and I was able to vent a little about my concerns and worries. 

I eventually decided it was time to turn in and head to bed. The sun had set, and it was getting late. I made my way upstairs and into the small bathroom, where I spent the next 20 minutes just looking at my reflection, thinking about the day. After seeing Kole, I can't help but feel the same thing he is. Is there any reason to keep going to my classes? Really for what I'll get out of it, I'm just wasting my time. Should I just focus on accomplishing what I can while I can?

I made my way to my bedroom, changed into sleepwear, and laid down. I tried to clear my head and go to sleep, but the same thoughts kept rushing through my head. How long do I really have? Do I have years? Maybe even just a few months? How much of that time will I be able to do the things I love? For how long will I really be able to be myself during that time? Kole hasn't been dealing with his changes long, but already he has lost his ability to do many of the things he liked to do overnight. Damien struggles to use his hands because of the bulk of his arms. How long before I have the same problems?

I'm not sure if it was just myself getting worked up or if the furnace was on. But it was feeling hot in my room. I decided to get out of bed, walk to the kitchen and get a drink of water. Hoping this would help, I walked back up to my room, and once reaching my room, It still felt way too hot to sleep. My pajamas were relatively thick, and maybe sleeping without them would help. So I stripped down to just my boxers and got back in bed. It wasn't perfect, but it was at least a bit better. I tried to ignore those thoughts and just focus on sleeping. Tomorrow will be a new day and a new start.

I'm sitting in one of my classes. The professor is lecturing about database backup plans. I look around to see all my usual classmates. They are all typing on the keyboards in front of them, taking notes. I could swear we already went over this in a previous session. I hear the professor say to me,

"Lyall, are you going to just sit around, or will you be taking notes with us?"

I look down to see an open document on the computer in front of me. It's blank with a flashing dash indicating it's ready to use. I reach for the keyboard, and my hands are stopped by something. I look down to see what's in the way, but I don't see my hands. I see feathers engulfing wings where my arms should be. I see one side covered in light cream-colored feathers, and the other side is covered in brown ones. 

I pull my arms to me, and they fold to my side. Doing this feel both comfortable and completely unnatural. Quickly I extend out my right arm in surprise, and it unfolds to a length much longer than my arm should be. It is fully extended out and forms a long and wide wing, almost 6 feet long and 3 feet wide. I bring it back in and have it partially folded with what could be considered the "wrist" of my wing. I try reaching across with my other hand to instinctively touch the alien appendage. Instead, it just hits the desk in front of me and cannot reach any further across my chest. 

I heard a voice from next to me. It was a familiar voice, and I turned to see who it was.

"Lyall, are you ok?" 

The voice was Kole's, but the thing sitting next to me had the head of a deer. Looking down, it was essentially a complete deer just sitting in the chair next to me. My mind is racing, and my breathing is fast. I have to get out of here! I have to undo the changes to my arms! I have to do something. Is it already too late?

Suddenly I'm in my bed. I'm drenched in sweat, wearing nothing but my boxers. I take a deep breath and go to lift my arms to get out of bed. But they are caught under the blanket I somehow wrapped around myself while asleep. I roll onto my side, trying to become untangled from the blanket and free myself from the burning cocoon. I manage to free one arm, which aids in releasing the rest of me. I look at my arm in the morning light from the window. It seems normal, nothing unusual, and everything is as it should be. It all was just a dream, and a terrifying one at that! I finished uncovering myself and pulled myself upright to sit on the side of the bed. I feel an unusual feeling from my lower back, almost like I've been sitting too long and my butt has gone numb. I stand up, and the feeling is gone almost immediately. 

I must have slept on my back wrong, or maybe how I managed to wrap myself up had to do with it. I slip my shirt back on and walk out of my bedroom, not overthinking it. I make my way to the bathroom and start doing my usual morning routine. While looking into the mirror to brush my teeth, I noticed something poking out behind me. I turned slightly to the left, and it moved with the rest of my body. 

I continued turning to the point I was almost facing backward. Whatever was hanging off me made contact with the door into the bathroom, and as I turned, I could feel the resistance of it pressing against the door, but the feeling came from my lower back. I quickly flip my head around to see what it could be. 

Looking down, I saw that hanging from my rear and just blocking the back of my boxers was a grouping of long, rusty, reddish-brown feathers. As the realization hit of what was going on, my mind started racing, and my heart was thumping. My vision was frozen on the feathers now hanging from me. Now a part of me.

And as if there couldn't be any worse timing. 

"LYALL?" My mother shouted as she stepped into my view from the door.

Taking me off guard, I jumped, and my tail feathers fanned out at the same time I jumped. They fully fanned out and formed a large semi-circle that covered my rear in red-brown feathers and extended well beyond my body's width. Stumbling from the scare, they flipped forwards, backward, and to each side. Trying to assist in balancing my body. After a bit of stumbling around and the tail flailing around. I turned my head to face my Mom and then turned my body in a vain attempt to hide the changes from her view. In doing so, I knocked a bunch of body wash bottles and shampoo into the tub and onto the floor with a quick swipe from my tail. The bottles hitting the tile made loud banging sounds, and they hit, and one bottle's cap broke and spilled onto the floor.

"I'm scared" Was all I could say as the emotions came rushing in and the initial shock wore off. "I don't know what to do." 

She just stared at me in disbelief. Neither of us said a word, and no one did anything or made any movements. We just stood in that bathroom, floor covered in shampoo and lit by the early morning sun.

Today is a new day.