BOOM-BOOM

Lars kicked off the song with two massive drum hits, hitting the instrument’s faces with such force he felt it reverberate up his arms. As he launched into the beat Jake and Isaac began their guitar riffs, then Alex added the thrumming of his bass as the song took flight. This opening sequence had no singing, so Matt was just standing, looking out into the crowd as the other members warmed them up. Ishmael The Burned was finally playing live, at a bar called Revolution, which was a local hot spot for fans of any kind of heavy music and usually pretty packed.

Tonight was no exception.

The band members were all in costume, each had a slightly different array of dark grey clothes, with bandages wrapped around their faces. So as not to get in the way of his mouth, Matt had the gauze wrapped simply around his eyes and upper face. They’d been waiting for this day for ages, practicing as much as they could, and now they were ready.

Lars held his drumsticks up his chest as the song allowed a brief guitar solo from Jake, before Matt stepped forwards, hefted the microphone in his paw and began singing. When he started yelling, the audience members at the front began jumping. Lars was sweating already, but hitting every one of his beats. He looked up at Matt, who was screaming with the mic in one paw, shaking the other in the air and pretty much moving his entire body. The drummer also caught a quick catch of Riley in the front row, jumping up and down with the crowd.

The tiger sat back, letting the music wash over him. The bandages were uncomfortable on his face, but Matt had argued it gave them an image…something to remember. In the end the other members had just given in to the goat, he was nothing if not persistent. If he wasn’t so focused, Lars would have smiled to himself, the song was sounding great and the crowd seemed to love them.  When Matt came around to the chorus for the second time, he’d hold the microphone out to the audience on the last word of each sentence, letting only their cries sing it.

Lars squeezed his eyes shut as the song built up; the goat’s words had descended into simple screams now, jumping up and down on the stage. Lars let himself flow into the last riff, matching his drums one-hundred-percent to Alex’s guitar. Finally, all the members put their paws in the air, clenched in fists, the last guitar note ringing out in the blackness as the crowd clapped and whooped. After a minute of just celebrating, the crowd began to die down, and Matt brought the microphone to his lips.

“You crazy motherfuckers.” He said in a deep, gravelly tone. “It’s a good thing we’re just as fucking berserk up here, cause you guys are nuts.” That got a little laugh. Finally he thrust a fist into the air and screamed:

“THANK FUCK FOR THE REVOLUTION!” His voice echoed as everyone clapped and cried out. They all knew it was a bit schlocky, but it worked. It was now that Lars let himself smile, under his bandages, The Revolution had an incredible atmosphere, which was why everyone came. It was a huge participation event and everyone loved the experience. The crowd rarely watched in silence, they actively made a lot of noise. It may not be big by a lot of bands standards, but this room was busy, and all the focus was on the stage.

Matt took a quick sip of water, then screamed out the name of their next song (Apex Insurrection). He pointed at Alex as he did, who began the opening set. After that they played one final song, which was a bit more melodic than the first two, but well received by the crowd if the clapping was to be any kind of judge. After the last song every member was exhausted; they weren’t accustomed to playing on stage, and the performance elements of the affair had taken their bodies by surprise. As they departed from the stage into the side room Matt fell onto the couch. Revolution had a good setup, there was a room for bands to wait before getting on stage, and then a room for them to detox before venturing back out into the crowd. Lars hastily ripped the bandages from his face, feeling himself breathe properly again. After only a few seconds of sweet air he was knocked back and squeezed by a delighted black fox.

“That was so amazing!” Yelled Riley, unwittingly still using his screaming-crowd voice. Seeing each of the band member’s wince he covered his mouth with a paw. “Oops, sorry.” He said at a more appropriate level.

“Thanks. I think they liked us.” Replied Lars, as he heard the next band start up their own set. “Wonder if we’ll be allowed back.”

“They fucking better, we were great.” Said Matt, unashamedly. “Nice work guys, we absolutely nailed that.”

Alex and Isaac fist-bumped, while Jake just poured a bottle of water over his fox-face.  

“I vote we go out in the crowd and get drunk.” Said Alex, turning to the group and sipping his own water bottle.

“I whole-heartedly agree.” Laughed Matt, which was still weird, hearing the ever-serious goat actually laugh. Lars nodded, slipping an arm around Riley.

They moved out into the crowd and found a booth at the back of the room, a place where they could talk and drink, but still see and hear the stage okay. Isaac was the only one who didn’t join them, heading home, muttering excuses. Matt’s girlfriend Christine (Another goat) sat down and introduced herself too. The group drank and joked through about three or four other local bands, one that was well received as they had they been, the other two were less popular though.

Lars at one point asked Riley if he wanted another drink, climbing to his feet, the fox accepted and Lars left to fetch it from the bar. It was getting late, but Revolution was still moderately crowded so the bartender was taking his time getting around the drummer. As he waited he let his paws tap out a tune on the bar, until he felt someone tap his shoulder. Turning, he saw a glowingly white arctic fox, wearing a black hoodie over his head and looking at him curiously.

“Um….can I help you?” He asked, smiling in his slightly inebriated state. The fox just looked at him very seriously for a moment, then shrugged.

“I don’t think so, but maybe I can help you. You were the drummer on stage before right? With the shit on your faces?” Lars nodded. “Cool, you guys were really great, um…this is kind of a weird question, so don’t get freaked out okay?”

“Um, okay…what is it?” Asked the tiger suspiciously.

“Well I don’t know, so don’t hit me or anything, but uh…are you here with that black fox? Riley? Riley….um, Wilson?” Lars nodded.

“Yeah, that’s my boyfriend.”

“Oh shit.” Said the fox, his eyes widening.

“What?”

“Oh, I meant…How long have you been dating him?”

“Why all these questions dude?” Asked Lars, still unsure what was going on.

“I’m getting to that, how long have you two been dating?”

“I dunno, a couple of weeks? A month and a half? Two maybe?”

“Okay…look, get out of it okay?”

“What? Why?”

“Riley….you have no…no fucking idea, he’s completely insane.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Demanded Lars, slightly taken aback.

“Do you mind if we step outside?”

“No, tell me now. What do you have against Riley?”

“I just…It’s too loud in here, c’mon.” With that the fox turned and vanished out of the nearby door. With a quick look back at his table, and a sigh of resignation Lars followed. He had to know what this furs problem was.

The fox hadn’t gone far, just a little ways from the entrance but still easily in sight of it. As Lars caught up the fox lit a cigarette, taking a quick puff of it in the cool night air. He laughed as the tiger looked at him.

“You know, I’m actually the one who got him hooked on these fuckin’ things.” He said.

“What are you talking about? I have to get back.” Said Lars impatiently.

“Okay, I’ll skip all the formalities. I used to date Riley, two years ago maybe I think. Everything was great, he’s really smart, has good taste in movies, can be really funny in a kind of…dry way.”

“I’ve noticed.” Said the tiger, now thoroughly unamused. “So what’s your problem? Either tell me or I’m going back in.”

“I’m working up to it. When I saw him here it scared the shit out of me. Then when I saw you guys together, I dunno, you and him looked pretty close. I thought maybe you got caught in the same space I did. Seems I’m right. I dated Riley for maybe…eight months or so? Things went really well, we both began Uni at a similar time, totally different classes but we still saw each other at lunch breaks and stuff.” The fox stopped to take another drag of his cigarette. “You just…you don’t see it, until…I dunno.

“One day, I got back to my dorm and he was acting really weird. Just like, barely speaking and glaring at me. I asked him what was wrong…he started going on this huge rant about how he couldn’t trust anyone. He got so worked up…I was terrified, I honestly thought he was gonna kill me at one point. He’d never….exploded like that.” Lars couldn’t help himself, he scoffed.

“I’m sure. Okay then.” He began to make a move and leave, but the fox grabbed his shoulder, pulling out his phone with the other paw.

“Look, he punched a fucking hole into my wall.” The fox flicked open a picture of a wall with a paw-sized hole in it.

“That doesn’t prove anything…” Said Lars, now suddenly feeling uneasy.

“That wasn’t the worst of it. At the end of his screaming and shouting and wall punching, he ripped my laptop out from the wall and threw it out the window. When I ran over and looked out…I put my paw on the window sill…he uh…he grabbed the window and brought it down straight onto my hand.”

Lars couldn’t help himself, he felt his mouth drop open, this actually was starting to sound familiar. But this fox wasn’t a wannabe-rapist...right? The fur held his left paw up to the tigers face.

“It broke four of my fingers, it hurt so much. I was so confused, I was in pain and crying and….He just said not to come near him and left.”

“Why?” Was all Lars could manage.

“I have no fucking idea.” Said the fox. Lars was well aware he could be lying, it was very possible that this was a similar situation to the one when they stayed at his parents place. But if this fox was a rapist, why even bother telling him all this? Lars felt inclined to believe him. His face looked like it was telling the truth. Lars saw the fox looking over his shoulder, and turned to see Riley walking casually over. The fox took a step back, looking around anxiously.

“Oh shit.” He said, taking a step back. Lars walked over to Riley, attempting to distract him.

“Hey, what are you doing all the way out here?” Asked Riley. “We just realised that you…” His voice trailed off and his face changed as he saw the arctic fox. Lars knew they knew each other, and at the very least there was history.

“What the fuck is he doing here? How do you know him?” He demanded, looking at Lars.

“I…I don’t, he just wanted to talk…” Lars tried to explain, but Riley was worked up now and he pushed past the tiger. The white fox held up his paws defensively, walking backwards.

“Look Riley, I’m sorry, I was just talking to your…”

“Shut up.” Riley said, cutting him off. “I told you to stay away, you asshole.”

“Riley, c’mon lets just go…” Pleaded Lars, grabbing his boyfriends shoulder. The fox shrugged him off.

“No Lars, this fox is a piece of shit and a fucking drug dealer.” The other fox’s eyes widened.

“Is that why you were so angry? Riley look…”

“Just shut up!” Shouted Riley, he stepped forward and shoved the white fox. “Don’t ever talk to me or Lars again, fuck off.” The white fox froze for a moment, looked over to Lars, then turned and ran.

Riley’s paws were balled up in anger, his breath ragged and his shoulders shaking.

“What the hell was that?” Asked Lars after a moment of silence.

“Just my ex-boyfriend. Don’t believe anything he says, seriously.” Replied Riley, finally turning around.

“Did you really break his paw?”

“Yeah.” Riley actually laughed at that. “I guess I have a knack for it eh?”

Lars looked at his boyfriend, astounded. He almost couldn’t believe that Riley had just laughed about break someone’s paw.

“I…I don’t think that’s a good thing. What if we have a fight? Would you do that to me?”

“Lars…that’s not fair.” Whined the fox. “You’re not either of those guys, you’re good and I love you.” He stepped forward and grabbed Lars’ shoulders. “Okay?”

“I dunno…you can’t just solve everything with violence all the time…how much else don’t I know about you?” Riley shrugged non-chalantly.

“I dunno, but we have time to work that all out.”

“That’s…that’s what I need, for a bit…some time. Just to think, okay?” Lars looked at his feet, feeling awful.

“Wait…what?” Asked Riley, suddenly confused.

“I just…we really jumped into this feet first y’know…I’m not breaking up or anything…I still love you too…I just need to work it out in my head.” He tried to explain, some tears falling from his eyes onto the ground.

“Oh. Okay…I…okay.”

“Sorry.”

“No…No it’s okay….I guess you gotta think things over. That’s fair. How…how long for?” Lars saw the fox was holding back tears, which he knew was rare, Riley never cried. That made it even harder.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.” They hugged, and Lars kissed his boyfriend on the cheek, stuffed his paws into his pockets and walked away.

One of the best nights had suddenly become one of his worst.

For the next week, which was the last week before Uni classes started again, Lars didn’t do much. He hung out in his dorm, practiced with the band a couple times, went to work. Tried to ignore his phone.

Riley had lasted two days, then he’d called. Lars had panicked; he had no idea what to do. He just let it ring and tried not to cry. He called back a few more times, but then evidently gave up.

The next day came with texts and Facebook messages. Lars avoided the Facebook messages, mostly because then Riley would get a little ‘seen’ notification, but he couldn’t stay away from the texts.

Hi Lars, how are you feeling now?

Lars talk to me.

Look…just, can we talk? Please? I know we can work it all out, I love you and don’t want to lose you.

How are you doing?

It’s not fair to not even give me a chance to explain everything…will you call me?

I’m sorry to keep bothering you but I can’t relax, let’s just talk on the phone and see what happens.

I’m trying to respect you and not come over, but it’s hard. I miss you.

Please, I miss you a lot.

I don’t want to explain this all over text, let’s meet together at the school councillor and talk? With a third party, Llewellyn is great and can help us work it out.

Please, Joey was dealing ecstasy online…I just, I didn’t think it was okay. Not to high school kids and stuff, please I know I fly off the handle sometimes but it’s always, always for a reason. Love you.

GOD DAMMIT LARS ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE!

Sorry.

Didn’t mean to say that, I’m just really stressed and scared. Are you okay?

It was mostly more of the same after that, looking at them just made Lars cry and a knot form in his stomach.

His roommate, a dalmatian named Jessie, knew better than to try and help or communicate. For the most part he left Lars to his own devices, only speaking to him when he would bring some food around. Lars greedily devoured the few things that Jessie brought him, and thanked the dog silently.

He literally did not know what to do. It all seemed so overwhelming, Riley had done this twice in the past. He broke furs paws, he destroyed items…what would it take for him to snap like that?

And why hadn’t he mentioned this fox, which Lars guessed was named Joey from the texts, anytime before? It seemed like a big deal, he punched a hole in a wall. That was the strangest and scariest thing, he’d never mentioned the fox and this drama before.

Surely there was a reason?

Was punching a hole in a wall, destroying a laptop and breaking some fox’s paw such commonplace in Riley’s life he hadn’t felt the need to mention it? Or was he ashamed? His laugh hadn’t sounded like it was a shameful one the other night.

Lars pressed his thumbs into his eyes, slipping his ear buds in and turning the music up louder, tried to drown out his horribly indecisive feelings.

The Trivium album was not helping, however.

There were so many questions, did he not think anything of what was essentially assault? Had that memory not been loud enough that the fox thought to share it? Why had he hidden it?

Was Joey a drug dealer that sold to kids? If so Riley’s actions were more justified….but still.

He must have found out by going through Joey’s computer….had he gone through Lars’ own stuff?

Dating a hacker does terrible things to your trust.